I have a woman in my life that I've only known for a short time. We had not been sexual with each other and she has had her first ob of oral h. She is devastated about it but she was honest enough to tell me. I told her that I am not going anywhere. I am falling in love with her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I am not going to let something like this run me away. She has indicated that I should pursue someone else because she does not want to infect me. Now I am devastated. I want to be with her and work through this. I will never walk away from her but I am scared that she will start pushing me away in hopes that I will meet someone else. I don't know what to do. The thought of her not being in my life makes me feel sick inside. Can someone tell me what to say to her to make her ok with me wanting to love her?

You are truely a great person for reconizing that the virus does not change who she truely is. I would just be patient with her. I'm sure she is having a hard time herself dealing with it. Finding out that you have the virus can be very tramatic.

I was diagnosed 6 months ago and just now started dating again. I've been dating a wonderful man now for over a month now;and I am so scared that when I do tell him, he may reject me.

Just be patient with her and continue staying by herself. Actions speak louder than words. If you showing her that you still want to be with her, I am sure she will eventually come around. Just let her know that together you guys can get through it. Use procaution and take things slow.

GOOD LUCK!!

She shouldn't make a big deal of it...chances are you already have it anyway. Over 80% of the population is already infected orally with herpes type 1 by the time they reach 14 years of age. As age increases, so does the percentage. Only about 20% of those who are infected ever get symptoms, so the rest just carry the virus without knowing. My advice to you would be to go get a type specific blood test done. If it comes back positive, that would eliminate any stress about the situation at all. :) It would actually be quite uncommon for someone past their teenage years not to have type 1 orally already...she is just unlucky in that she is actually getting the symptoms. A lot of people experience only 1 outbreak, and never (or rarely) experience symptoms again. I was infected with type 1 genitally from my fiance's mouth during oral sex (type 2 most often infects the genitals, and type 1 is most always the cause of oral, although type 1 can infect the genitals too, although if you are already infected orally with type 1, it gives some protection against being reinfected in a different location, as your body already has antibodies). In the over 2 years since my initial (and horribly painful, I might add) outbreak, I have only had 2 minor recurrances, each consisting of only 1 tiny bump that didn't even bother me at all, besides being a bit itchy. :)

true partner,

Have you shown her this board? She needs to see that there are many people and many couples that are living and dealing with herpes. That would be a great start.