I need help. I am at my wits end. As the message title suggests I am a male, 20 years old who is currently, 275 pounds.

I have gotten to the stage where I feel as I don't care about my body and I will never be at a weight that I am happy with.

I currently weight 275 pounds (125kg). My doctor says that I need to loose weight but I find that I only stick to a diet for a couple of days before the temptations are too great and I am back to the old ways. My goal weight is 190 pounds (85kg).

Two years ago I did go on a diet and lost bout 10 pounds, but that only lasted for a few weeks and then I was heaver than I was before.

I am currently studying at university which is taking up so much of my time. I leave early in the morning and arrive home late. I have been putting in long hours of study, and therefore I don't have time for any exercise. Its currenly winter and too cold to go out walking. I used to go swimming when I was young but I would not dare go to the local pool. It would just be too embarrising.

I recently found this website while searching on google. A few months ago I did post on Blubberbusters but found that the replies were not what I expected. They were mainly from girls who were 14 or so. I would love to get some replies from men who are around my age who have gone through the same thing that I am about to embark on. Hopefully there will be some good news stories, and hopefully we can help each other.

There are so many things that I could talk about and things that I need to get off my chest but I don't think you people would like to hear it. So I will end by saying, If there are any males who are around 20 or so who have a weight problem or have successfully lost weight, please post in this thread. I would love to hear from you. Hopefully you would be able to help be or something to help me loose this damn weight for good. Or if there is a website or group where people like us can chat, please let me know. I AM DESPERATE

I would love to get some replies from men who are around my age who have gone through the same thing that I am about to embark on. Hopefully there will be some good news stories, and hopefully we can help each other.

I'll start by saying I am neither male nor 20, but I am going to reply to you nonetheless, as I believe I can empathise and I believe I can offer some advice that can help. I am female, I am 37 and I used to weigh 275 lbs as well (Btw, I'm 5'6"). I've managed to lose over 100 lbs in the last 6 years, 90 of which happened recently. My advice is thus:

1. Stop thinking diet. It's a sure way to failure. Diets do not work. Think of this as a new way of eating, even a new way of life (sounds a tad religious doesn't it?!). You need to change how you feel about food and how you behave, and this takes time. That is the secret; it wont happen overnight. That is also the key to making it work; it won't happen overnight. New behaviours take time to learn; to become second nature. Time allows you to learn how to eat properly and how to do it for the rest of your life. After all the goal is not to lose weight, it's to lose fat permanently.

2. Don't rely on 'willpower' to get you through. It's a lot easier to replace a bad habit than to break one. Instead of sitting in front of the computer, or the TV eating something that's not healthy for you, go for a walk, go for a bike ride, do some yard work. Change what you do. Get all the junk foods out of the house as well; if it's not there you cannot go to it in a moment of weakness - and we all have them.

3. Avoid eating processed foods; processed means it comes prepackaged and ready for you to eat. Foods that are shrink wrapped, in boxes or plastic. Look for natural, whole food alternatives. Instead of white foods, choose the whole grain alternative; long grain brown rice instead of white rice, whole grain bread instead of white bread, sweet potatoes and yams instead of french fries (even white potatoes are better!). Avoid sodas / pop - they are made with one of the most evil of ingredients under the sun; High Fructose Corn Syrop. If you drink a lot of these, just cutting them out will make a huge difference.

4. Think of food as fuel and your body as a machine; it's imperative you eat, and that you eat often. If you go long times between meals your body suffers w/o adequate fuel. If you eat small meals every few hours (3 to 4 hours) you stoke that furnace and allow more fat to be burned, you keep your metabolism humming along. Cutting calories too much will slow metabolism and slow fat burning.

Try to balance your meals; equal parts protein / carbs / fat. At your age you don't want to start yo-yo dieting, trust me on this, it just messes up your life later on. Eat balanced meals with adequate calories every few hours and you'll be well on your way to leaning out. I'll give you a separate post with examples of these different macronutrients.

5. Drink your water. Aim for 64 oz a day, and push for more if possible;it will do you a world of good. Dehydration can make you hungry, tired and moody. If you have any alcohol make sure you have an extra glass of water for each alcoholic drink.

6. Get active. You don't have to go down to the pool to swim, believe me I understand embarrassment. Go for a walk. Go for that walk after a meal to help increase metabolism further, go for it first thing in the morning before a meal again to increase metabolism further. Take the stairs instead of the elevator or escalator. Park the car in the spot the furthest from the store. Every little bit helps. It may be winter, but you can still be active. I live in Canada, it gets cold here, -30C, but going out in that (well insulated mind you) and coming back gives you one heck of a feeling of accomplishment. As an added bonus exercise in colder climates causes more calories to be burned.

Hopefully some of this is useful to you.
Cheers,
Nat

Carbohydrates there are a few types of these, but only one you want to limit; the simple carbohydrate, i.e, sugar in it's most pure form. Simple means this is not a complex molecular structure and it breaks down quickly, which can cause peaks when it comes to blood sugar. Your body responds to blood sugar peaks by releasing large amounts of insulin (the hormone responsible for getting the glucose out of the bloodstream and into the cells where it can be used for energy).

When there’s a large blood sugar spike, your body tends to “overreact” and produce too much insulin. The insulin quickly clears the glucose from the bloodstream leading to a sharp drop in blood sugar known as hypoglycemia. Low blood sugar is accompanied by cravings, hunger, weakness, mood swings and decreased energy. The hunger and cravings tend to cause the sugar consumption to perpetuate itself, resulting in a vicious cycle of ups and downs in energy throughout the day.

I said 'limit' and not avoid, because some simple carbohydrates are natural and shouldn't be eliminated from your daily diet; these include fructose and lactose; those found in fruit and dairy products.

Lactose is a naturally occurring simple sugar you can eat in moderation if you tolerate it well. Lactose intolerance is the inability to digest dairy products. People who are lactose intolerant don’t have the enzyme necessary to digest lactose, so they get gas, bloating, water retention, abdominal cramps and diarrhea when they eat dairy products. If you can tolerate dairy look for low fat versions of cheese, milk, cottage cheese, cream cheese, sour cream, mayonnaise and yogurt.

Fructose is the other naturally occurring simple sugar. Try to focus on whole fruits, and not fruit juices, as they contain very little fibre and are maily just 'sugary water'.

Examples:
Apples
Unsweetened applesauce
Blueberries
Bananas
Oranges
Raspberries
Berries
Nectarines
Plums
Grapes
Peaches
Cantaloupe
Grapefruit
Pears
Jelly (all fruit)

Complex Starchy Carbohydrates Starch is the storage form of energy in plants, much like glycogen is an energy storage form in human muscle. Your body is able to completely absorb and digest all the caloric energy in starches, therefore the calorie density of starch is higher than fibrous carbohydrates.

Examples:
Potatoes
Yams, sweet potatoes, carrots
Beans, lentils, legumes
Oatmeal, Cream of Rice, Cream of Wheat, Cream of Rye, oat bran, barley, multi-grain
Brown Rice
Whole grain bread
Whole grain cereal
Whole grain pasta
Other whole grains

Fibrous Complex Carbohydrates (Fiber) Fiber is the indigestible portion of the plant and therefore passes straight through your digestive tract without all the caloric energy being absorbed. These carbs have a special place in a fat burning regime as they have a low calorie density - they make it easier tostay full without going over your calorie limits.

Examples:
Broccoli
Lettuce
Cauliflower
Zucchini
Tomatoes
Asparagus
Green beans
Squash
Cucumber
Spinach
Basically think leafy, green and natural and you cannot go wrong here.

Lean Proteins: You want to consume protein at every meal because it is so important, it contains the building blocks of life, amino acids. The proteins listed below contain both essential and non essential amino acids, the essential ones being, well, essential :) If your body does not get these when it needs them protein synthesis and muscle building cannot happen, neither can cell repair, hormone creation, etc. This is why these are essential. This is why eating every few hours makes such a big deal.

Examples:
Chicken breast, Turkey breast
Fish (Flounder, Haddock, Salmon, Orange Roughy, Cod, Tuna etc.)
Shellfish (Lobster, shrimp, Clams, etc.)
Lean Red Meat (Flank Steak, Round Steak, extra lean sirloin)
Eggs/Egg whites (One yolk for every six whites)
Low or non fat dairy products (milk, cheese, yogurt, cottage cheese, etc.)

Fats: You need fats to be health, despite the whole "fat is bad" era we've all lived through; in fact a few of them are even called "essential fatty acids" they are so important and necessary. Most people don’t get enough EFA’s. People who intentionally restrict fat to very low levels are often borderline deficient. Although a true clinical EFA deficiency is rare, a very low fat diet is clearly not going to give you optimal amounts of these beneficial good fats. EFAs help improve insulin sensitivity, suppress cortisol production, increase metabolic rate, help burn fat, are growth promoting and are required for energy production.

But it's not just EFAs we need, we need fat in our diets, period. Diets too low in fat can have negative effects on health; When dietary fat intake is reduced to less than 10% of total daily calories this can also set off the starvation alarm; they help slow the absorbtion of simple carbs, keeping insulin from being released in too great quantities and too quickly; too little fat will result in too little testosterone production, which is necessary for maintaining lean mass and burning fat, and finally a diet too low in fat can set off hormonally related hunger and cravings.

Examples:
Nuts & seeds, flaxseed oil, olive oil, canola oil, natural peanut butter, olives, fish fat.

So, now that you have all this information, what do you do with it? You create meals.


Choose a lean protein and a complex starchy carb for each meal.
Add some Fat and choose either a fiberous carb or a fruit to go along with your meal.
Keep your simple carbohydrate choices earlier in the day, when you'll have more of a chance to burn them off and when insulin is more sensitive.
Do this 5x a day.

Cheers,
Nat

Well I hope you don't mind me replying to your post. I am a 22 year old female. 8 weeks ago I weighed 245, and I am 5'4". So I need to lose over 100 pounds to be considered "healthy." I have spent my whole life dealing with this weight problem. I have tried just about every diet out there and failed. My weight is the only aspect of my life that I feel has been utterly unsucessful. There were times I felt so hopeless, that I have such a massive amount of weight to lose-why bother?

Well I watched my sister-in-law join weight watchers and lose 40 pounds in about 6 months. So I decided to join. I decided my health and happiness was a priority. I read about others who have lost 100, 200, 300 pounds. If they can do it, why can't I? So I joined WW online, and I have lost 17 pounds since 7/6/04. When I joined, I honestly expected that I would hate it and fail, like eveerything else. But I feel good. I am making healthy eating choices. The advice others have offered is great. But I cannot ONLY eat healthy food. Weight watchers allows me to still have my "treats." I know this is something I can do for the rest of my life. In fact, for the first time EVER, I actually have hope that I will lose this weight and be normal.

I realized that I was making excuses. I would stuff my face with fast food and sit around and wonder why I was gaining weight. Being a student is tough, I know because I was one until this past may. It is way to easy to just eat junk food. But now I know just how horrible the stuff I was eating really was. I quit blaming everything but myself. I have accepted the fact that I will have to deal with this EVERY day, for the rest of my life. I can't just lose the weight and go back to how I was. This is a life-style change, but I am making it slowly. I will NEVER be one of those people who can eat whatever they want and not gain weight.

I would strongly recommend this program. I found I am not as smart as I thought, and I need the structure the program offers. Perhaps you can do it on your own. But regardless of how you do it, you need to make a decision that you ARE going to lose the weight. You need a glimmer of hope, and once you start losing, it will grow. There are others who have lost more than you. It is so easy to resign yourself to the fact that you will always be fat. But I am convinced that it will be worth it to be healthy and thin. I never have been myself, but I just know it will be worth it. I just wanted to share my story with you, even though I am not who you were looking to hear from. I am still surprised as heck that this is working, but I am so happy about it. I still have a long way to go, but I know I can do it. And so can you. When you make your mind up, you can do anything. Take care and I wish you the best of luck.

Anyone I realy need help?

I am female 240 lbs and I need help becauwe I cant do it either. I do really good and then I just stop. I have twins that are 2 and a seven year old and I think that chasing after them would be enuff for a waorkout, but I am stuck. I know if O lost 15 lbs I could do it because it would be an incentive for me to lose more weight but it is hard getting started. I am 24 so I know. It is hard.

Huge81,
In your first post, you mentioned "There are so many things that I could talk about and things that I need to get off my chest but I don't think you people would like to hear it." I think you're wrong and I think that if you got some things off your chest, it could be the first step in this whole weight issue.

We're hear to listen.....

I am female 240 lbs and I need help becauwe I cant do it either.
.....I am 24 so I know. It is hard.

Syndyhall,
You're doomed to fail losing weight because of your mindset. You have given yourself permission that failure is an acceptable option. You need to hold yourself to a higher standard and require more of yourself. I don't mean to sound harsh but losing weight is not a matter of "I can't do it", it's a matter of "I will do it" or, "I won't do it". It's your choice. Sure it's hard at first but then again, so is the pay-off.

'Gopherhead' and 'MrsLee' have offered absolutely wonderful advice. There's no magic formula.....There's not a magic pill you can take. You simply need to stop making excuses and take it one day at a time.

If you are at your wits end, I recommend Bariatric Surgery. My sister had it done, and has lost 145 lbs and says it is the best thing I could have done. If you have any questions about it, let me know.

Those two long responses are the best thing I've ever read on losing weight. No magic. I've recently started a program with a nutritionists help and guidance and have lost 10 pounds in about two weeks.

The weight though is just a bonus in my opinion. I feel better than I have in 15 years and I'm 33.

I weighed 325, now 315. My first goal is 300, then my next is 275, then 250. I'll re-evaluate then...it's been a while. ;)

Good luck!

i am 26 5'10 300#s male here...i know what your going through..it seems like no matter what I eat my weight stays the same. drinking a lot of water and changing to diet sodas and 100% juices can help too...snack on fruits or sugar free Jellos and stuff.Where are you from. Maybe there is something in you area that can help...will help u find it.

Hi uptown22,
It seems like we have very similar problem, being overweight. It would be great if we could keep in contact via these boards about how we are going while we both loose those unwanted pounds and become fit and healthy. For me that will be the first time in my life.

Have you always been overweight, or was their something in your life that triggered your weight to increase? Do you have some sort of exercise program? Have you ever lost weight in the past? How long did it stay off for?

One really important element to weight loss is exercise and drinking water. It is recommended that we consume at least 8 cups of water per day. That in itself is a big challenge. I still find it difficult to drink that much water. The advantage of water is it is good for your body and makes you feel fuller.

I live in Melbourne Australia. We are currently in spring, and we will soon be experiencing the summer and the very hot days we have here. This makes it difficult for exercising as the hot weather makes people very sluggish.

I have been contemplating joining a gym for quite a while now. It’s relatively close to my house and they also have an indoor pool. I love swimming but it isn’t a pretty sight me in a pair of bathers. I just feel too embarrassed.

So here are the official figures. My starting weight was 123.0kg/ 271.16pounds. I weighed myself today and I am 121.3kg/ 267.42pounds. Therefore I have lost 1.7kg/ 3.7pounds. It’s somewhat of a good start but I still have a very long way to go. My goal weight is 90kg/ 200pounds. I still have 31.3kg/ 69pounds to go.

You commented in your post that you have changed to diet soft drinks and fruit juices. In my experience this does little for weight loss. I have decided to stop drinking soft drink all together and only drink 1 glass of freshly squeezed juice per day, and at all other times drink water. There is a lot of sugar in soft drink and even in juices. Although it seems like a healthy alternative you have to be careful what the manufactures put into the juice. I would be better if you juiced your own fruit. Nice and fresh and healthy.

Let me tell you a little about myself. I have been overweight ever since I can remember. It has always been a concern that I was overweight. But there was nothing ever actively done to help me loose weight. Over the years my weight has slowly increased to 123.0kg/ 271.16pounds. I have lost weight in the past but it has never lasted.
Two years ago I lost 10kg/ 22pounds during the summer holidays. I watched what I ate and drank and did a lot of walking. But soon after I lost interest and the weight started to come back. My goal weight is 90kg/ 200pounds.

Although my parents have been supportive and encouraged me too loose weight. It isn’t something that I really want to talk to my parents about.

As I am a university student it is very difficult to find time for exercising. Its coming up to exam time and I find myself sitting at my desk hours on end studying, there is no time to go out for a walk. When I do get to go for a walk, either on the weekends or holidays the standard route is 7.2kms/ 4.47miles that generally takes me 90 minutes. The problem is when I come home and I am so hungry. I will eat anything that is in the cupboards. Then all the good work that I have done is lost.

One of the main reasons that I am trying to get fit is a month ago I went to an old high school function where I saw one of the teachers who in the last year has lost over 30kgs/ 66pounds. I didn’t even recognize him until someone pointed me out to me. He looks amazing. A totally new man. He looks much younger and incredible. Then last night we went to a friend’s house who I haven’t seen in probably 3 years. I was amazed how much weight he has loosed. He looks great.

Anyway thanks for listening. Would be great to hear from you soon.

,always
regretfulheart

okay, i have to write this ALL OVER, because the stupid net just erased everythinmg i had written down for your reply...basically , here it goes. my story...i used to date a guy your same age, and your same weight...(weird huh), and i loved him just for who he was, in the beginning of our relationship, i fell so deeply in love with him, so fast, it all seemed so natural, no nervousness, just how it was supposed to "be". and mind you, im a 20 year old girl, but i weighed around 145 at the time we met, then proceeded to gain up to 170 lbs, so he was like 100 lbs heavier than i, and u dont think we made it work? our relationship wouldve lasted so much longer if he wouldnt have packed on 10 more lbs....Jussst Kidding....if he wouldnt have hit me, and abused me , and not taken care of me, like i did for him...see he was bipolar, and bipolar people, r angry at everything, and they yell and abuse anyone who gets in their way, and he wasnt taking his meds for it, cuz "he didnt want to"...so i had to get the sh---y end of the stick, when it came to the relationship, including all the pain that came with it...towards the end...it had gotten so bad...so basically im telling u all this so u know, that even though i was smaller than him, in his eyes, (cuz i have a self-image prob also) it didnt matter, cuz i loved him for who he was, he would go into spittin fights about how could i stand to be with someone so ugly and fat, and hed put himself down constantly, buti never saw any of that, and that temper and rage of his that always came up, when he was pushing me around, he was really just pushing himself away from me indirectly, of course...because bipolar once again got the best of him, before i left him, i told him hed never find any other girl that would love him and take care of him, like i did for him...so ending, be happy with yourself...even though u may think ure not happy with you, someone else might love you, and you may ruin everything, if ure not just "comfortable" with the whole idea of getting over it...hope any of this helped...always, regretfulheart

Hello again, I noticed this thread was still active, and I thought you might be interested in an update on how my experience with WW is going. Today is my three month anniversary of starting WW. I have lost 26.8 pounds (down to 218.2) and over 10% of my body weight. I feel incredible. I started exercising a month ago doing a walking exercise tape. I do a 30 minute workout (2 miles) about 5 times a week. It is not miserable like I thought it would be. It's almost--gasp--fun! And it is making a difference-I can feel a difference already. I have so much more energy and I can already walk a lot farther without getting out of breath. I have had to make time for exercising, but it is so worth it. I am also learning how to make healthier eating choices. When I first started WW, I ate a lot of pre-packaged 'diet' food,' like baked chips, granola bars, low fat ice cream. Now I am trying to eat more natural, whole foods, like an apple and some peanut butter instead of baked chips. And my tastes are changing. Fast food does not taste as good anymore. I love that I am actually choosing healthier foods over fatty, greasy foods.

Also, I feel proud of myself. I have followed WW for three months without cheating or lying to myself. I still can't believe this actually works, but it does. People are starting to notice my face is getting thinner, and that makes me so happy. I just feel happier in general. I know I am losing weight the right way and becoming healthier. Anyways, I wish you the very best in your weight loss. Take care!