I have been fat since I was about 7 or 8 years old. I got made fun of, called all sorts of names. I grew up learning to expect it.

There were a couple years in my teenagerhood where I lost enought weight to look good and not have to worry about people making fun of me. What was even better was that I accepted myself.

But that was short lived happiness. I have been fat for a long time now, I can't get my weight to budge. And I'm not saying I don't know why. But I really hate going around hungry all the time, it makes me even more irritable than I already am. (I have ocd and I have anxiety alot.)

Sometimes when I am in a store and I see stylish clothes that don't look like garbage bags when people wear them, I get all motivated and think I am ready to do what is needed for me to lose weight. This just sets me up to sink to a new low.

What's the point? I won't be able to eat healthy, even if I exercise, I won't burn enough calories, I'll just replace them with what I eat. I'm too emotionally attached to food. I just need to realize I will be embarrassed about myself for the rest of my life, most likely.

Is anyone else in this endless, hopeless, circle?

I've also been overweight since I was a kid. Now I'm 40. 2 years ago I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes (very VERY common in people who are overweight, especially if they've been overweight for a long time), and it made me re-think things. Diabetes can lead to blindness, heart disease (which killed my father, also a Type 2 diabetic). Diabetes can affect the nerves in your body which can result in having limbs amputated. It requires medication, many times in the form of insulin injections a couple of times a day. In other words, Diabetes sucks. So I had to ask myself which was more important to me - cookies or my eyesight? Potato chips or keeping my legs? When looked at from that perspective the answers were easy.

Being overweight will also impact other things, such as your joints, which eventually wear out from lugging aound all that extra weight. And many overweight people suffer from depression.

I've lost weight, although I still need to lose a bit more, but it's been a struggle every day. But my Diabetes is now fully under control without having to take meds. It's worth the struggle, in my opinion.

That was an excellent post jojo64! I couldn't of said it better.

For me, I don't have a weight problem, but I do know what it is like to have issues with food.

cupcakes, you said that you won't be able to eat healthy. But you can eat healthy if you make an effort. Instead of buying cookies and donuts, but veggies and chicken. There are so many delicious recipies that you can make that are healthy and that can help you lose weight.

Maybe you eat junk food for comfort? Have you considered talking to someone? A dietician? Your doctor? Maybe there is an underlining issue that you are using food as an outlet.
I believe that those who put out an effort will be rewarded. If you make a comittment to lose weight, you will lose the weight. But if you continue with the attitude that you have now, and you choose the junk food over healthy eating, you will only gain weight and nothing will change. Except you may feel worse about yourself.

You have the ability to lose weight, you have to make an effort.

jojo64,

That jolt of reality is the best way to look at it. Obesity is common in my family, in fact my aunt had to have both of her knees replaced because of her weight. I don't want to end up like that.

I think I need to keep this life or death attitude towards it that i am seeing right now. Because that's what it boils down to, right? It is just dangerous for me when I get moody, that's when i want to eat bad food the most.

Thank you for your posts, both of you. I am feeling better today than when i first posted last night.

Cupcakes,
I see your posting as a signal that you're ready to move in a positive direction - that's great! To really set yourself up for success, I'd suggest finding a way to keep in touch with others who are facing the same challenge - maybe through Overeaters Anonymous, or Weight Watchers, or a local weight-control support group? What one person can't do alone, she may find the strength to do with help from others. Also, it's really hard to give something up without replacing it with something else - it's all sacrifice with no reward. It's best to find something that can offer some satisfaction when you'd like to eat - a special herbal tea, a foot massage? (OK, those are lame examples, but you get the idea. For myself, I bought an ice shaver and now instead of pigging out on ice-cream sandwiches or snack crackers when I'm working on the computer at night, I pig out on sugar-free snow cones - sweet, crunchy, cold, no calories, no guilt.)
Anyway, let us know what you decide to do and how you're feeling - you just sounded so sad and beaten, my heart went out to you.

Hey cupcakes, I don't like to push "diets" on anyone, but I've been on the South Beach diet since April and I'm doing great on it and it's pretty easy to follow. I know it's sounds like a fad, but honestly it's not. The Doctor who came up with the plan originally called it the "Healthy Fats, Healthy Carbs Diet" but his publishers told him the name would not sell books so he changed it to South Beach to make it more catchy (that is where he lives and practices). The first 2 weeks are the hardest, but if you can get thru that part (and you can!) you will be on your way to being so much healthier. You still get to eat alot, and you get to eat good foods. You have to stay on it forever though - it is not really a diet but more of a healthy eating plan. I was a major sweet eater, but I have it under control now and when I do want a "goodie" I now know what to reach for that will satisfy me without fattening me up or making me crave an entire pie. And it's not an "all meat" diet, like so many people who have not researched it claim that it is. It's basicaly about eating whole, unprocessed foods rather than the junk that so many of us are used to eating.

I'll tell you this much - I've been able to totally go off my diabetes meds now, and my cholesteral has gone down more on this diet than it did when when I was taking meds for it. I've lost about 25 pounds since April, and that's not bad because I am recovering from surgery and am unable to exercise at all right now. People who can exercise have reported losing quite a bit more rapidly than me, but I'm satisfied considering the circumstances.

Anyhow, if you're really serious about doing something about your weight I'd suggest you buy the book or do some online research. There is a great message board for South Beachers but unfortunately this board does not allow us to give out info about other websites. One word of advise I'd give to anyone who wants to try it - try to find recipes for the diet on-line (there are tons of them) because I've found that I didn't like too many of the recipes in the book, and that the ingredients were just too costly. Also, once you understand the principals it's easy to convert your favorite recipes so that they are better for you.

Well, whatever you decide to do I wish you luck. No one is making you overweight but yourself, and no one can make you lose the weight but yourself. It's your body and it's totally up to you how you treat it.

If you are more than 100 lbs overweight. I recommend gastric bypass surgery. He saved my sister. She lost more than 145 lbs. She said it is the best thing she ever did.