If someone can help me. I am very depressed. I recently had an accident where I sustained an alkali burn to my eyes. This happened about 3 months ago. I am still having pain and light sensitivity and extreme dry eyes. I am working every day. But I have hard time sleeping and functioning at work dealing with clients. I have panic attacks when I realize the pain and extreme dry eyes maybe permanent. My life and reality as I knew it before has effectively changed 180degrees. I wake up every 2-3 hours even with sleeping pills sometimes because of anxiety and to put ointments in the eye. I really have to take sleeping pills if I I have to work next day. I would not be able to sleep otherwise. My mind is such that I cannot relax. My mind is in constant fight-or-flight condition. I do not have solution to my problem and my eye pain is constant reminder. I have no joy or little things that used to make me happy.


Before this I was healthy male in mid-30s with lots of self-ego and extreme confidence. I was handsome and self-motivated. Since the injury I have been a self-muttering idiot. I cannot leave the house when I am off. Iam so depressed I can barely interact with others. Workers are noticing that I am different.

It appears that I have to continue to work in order to keep my pay and insurance. I know I cannot continue to work a this pace however. I cannot let my work know how badly I feel. I have some sick leave but I doubt my problem will heal up even in few months if ever. Eventually I would want to leave this job but when?

I am worried about my future since I have family. I thought about disability but I don't even know if I would qualify. I would have to use up all my sick leave before I could proceed to disability. I don't think I could go as mental disability as that would end chance of getting job again. My eyes are severly injured but the eye doctor says my pain does not correlate with physical findings. ( I wish he could walk in my shoes for 24 hours).

I know if my perfomance at work is effected by all this then I may not have the job in future. So should I keep going until it is not possible or what do I do?
I know Iam screwed.

Dear Lossto, I'm sory to hear your story. We are all in the same "boat".
If you cannot sleep and you're taking sleeping pills please check for side effects, I hope they don't have the side effects of dry eyes...be carefull.
Try drinking chamomile tea, it will help you sleep. If one cup doesn't help you sleep drink two before you go to sleep. It helps me so it will help you.
Try taking hot shower before you go to sleep - it will help you sleep because it sooth your nerves.
Don't drink caffeine before you go to sleep and don't eat heavy meal.
Dry eyes made me miserable also and it has a sever affect on my whole life.
It's not me anymore to be honest with you.
Concerning you job security. Well, you need the money unfortunatelly.
Try to keep that job.

Hi Lost,
What a scarey place your in right now. I'm an old folgy and have been in several places between a rock and a hard place with illnesses, and hard life situations. In the midst of this stormy place your in, it's good to find peace so that you will have an anchor to hold you down or fear can grip you and throw you all over the place. Its important to have a support group around you that you can trust to share all your fears and frustrations with. Many times we push our spouses away from us during a time like this. Keep your wife close to you. Confide in her. She can be a great strength to you.

Something that might help you deal with stress right now is stress relaxation methods. There is alot of information out there. There is yoga, tai chai, and special music cds that are made especially for meditation for healing, peace, etc. You can grow during this time, and find that there is a strength in you you never knew you had.

Thanks for your concerns and advise. Yes I am in a bad spot. I was doing so well before May. I would have never imagined looking at these boards before.
Relaxation is not something I could do at this time as I have severe pain from burn on my eyes. Not healing because of dry eyes. Can you imagine living without any tears? I am using petroleum jelly and mineral oil made for the eyes. Crazy isn't it?

I don't know what to do. I think I am one with worst problem than any others on this board. I can't believ this. PLease God help me.

What is the prognosis for your condition? Have the Drs. given you any hope for the future? I do belive God heals! Will be praying for you.

Hi justhangnout,

Thank you for praying for me. I am not sure what the prognosis is going to be. I had a bad day today. My pain is worse today than before. Pain is like having a skin burn except it is on the eyes. It is worse because the light causes additional pain. I can't look at object for more than 5 seconds because it feels like staring into the sun. Worst of all I have no tears.
Because I have burn my eyes are not protected from infections. I had some itching and I think I developed eye infection in my left eye. I had to start antibiotic eye ointments.

I worked all day but I feel like I am in a fog. I am not sure what my prognosis is. I think it is poor chance I will ever get my tears. I am not sure if I will have to use ointments( drops don't even touch the dryness) forever. Doctors cannot see any staining( ie damage) in the white part of my eye. But that is where my most pain is now. I think there is burn to the whites of my eye but they cannot see on routine stain. I also have corneal burn which causes other half of the pain.

This is living hell if there was one. Please pray for me to heal.

Will be praying for you. There is nothing worse than chronic pain.

Lossto, listen. Go right away to another optomologist. You need a second opinion.

If I apply for disability insuracne now would i have chance of being approved?
I don't have disability insurance now if I leave work. Will they cover execept for my eyes?

I would welcome anyone responding.