Wilkey,

How are you doing today? I am sitting here at work wondering about you. This is day 10 for you if I am correct. I hope the w/d's are getting better. You have helped me so much.

I am on day 12 opiate free. I did succomb to adding a small anount of Ritalin to my arsenal so I guess I am not really clean. Just being free from the opiates mean so much to me. I have found this to be a one step at a time process. I must have thought I was some kind of super human to do my original plan. One day at a time.........with the help of my friends. I will be able to make that greatest post "I am Free".

thinking of all my friends,
fisherman

Fisherman,
So good to hear from you. Day 12 for you, opiate free, I am so proud of you!
How are you feeling? Is your work day going ok?
You are right, Day 10 for me, I cannot believe it. This is a record for me. I feel different this time, I can't put my finger on it, I just feel stronger and more determined. I do know that your support and the support of all the other wonderful people on the board has helped me immensely.
I actually feel pretty good today physically, no more aches and pains, my head is clear, I might be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I know know I need to really be careful, I have read all about how the emotional cravings are the worst part of the whole WD process.
But, just for today, I am enjoying feeling good......I wouldn't have believed I would by typing those words even two days ago. Miracles do happen in recovery.
Thanks again for checking on me....you are in my thoughts as well.
Your friend,
Wilkey

Hey guy keep it up gives me strength to keep doing what i am doing.I was wondering..what to look foreward to...at this time of the WDs..??, I feel good ,better...I do feel drained...my head it alot more clear..does your body kick back anytime...that is what scares me..I know every one has a little differant reaction to this drug..but still most of us have gone thru the same...WDs..just want to see where i stand...still doing fine.here YOU GUYs keep up the GOOD WORK also.

My friend Wilkey,

I feel so much better just hearing that you feel pretty good today. I would say if on day 10 you are seeing some light at the end of the tunnel then you are through the worst. Hey we are all wired so different, you may not have the emotional tie that I did. You are a inspiration to me and have been a good , caring friend. Thank you

Flyfishingdaddy,

Your real close to your goal. Ultram has a completly different chemical makeup than traditional opiates. They really don't even know how or why it works. Have you tried a clonidine patch? It really helps, makes you even sleep better. It is really for blood pressure. I just have a strange feeling that something along that line will be all it takes for you to be free......

thanks,
fisherman

Wilkey,

Have not heard from you today and you are on my mind. I hope your day has been well.

thinking of you,
fisherman

Hi Fisherman,
I was just about to write you, I just read your thread, and I'm sorry to hear Day 13 has not been kind to you. Since I didn't do the sub, I don't know what your going through, but I do know from our short friendship that you are a strong and determined person, and you will get through this. I read another thread where you mentioned the drive from Knoxville to Chattanooga, I couldn't agree more, beautiful. I'm a Tennessee girl, from a small town, so I completely understand about not being able to go to meetings. Without you, this board, and, of course, my husband, I know I would not have made it this far. Though my husband is supportive, he doesn't really understand, he does not have an addictive personality, lucky for him...
Anyway, thanks so much for checking on me. I felt really good yesterday, but today I felt sad, so I guess it is just a day by day process. Physically, I feel much better, I'm just at loose ends. I have plenty to do, it is just a matter of being motivated to do it, I was so used to taking a pill to accomplish my "chores". It is nice to be clear headed at work, and I also go to school, getting my masters, one night a week. Last night was my first night at school without my hydro's. It is almost like learning to live again, but not quite sure how to do that.
I feel as if I am being quite depressing, and I actually wanted to cheer you up. I would like to say that you are an amazing person. You have helped me and so many others these past days, all this while you yourself are going through your own personal hell.
Amazing.........
Your friend,
Wilkey

Wilkey,

You are too kind. It cheers me just to hear from you. If I am correct we are the same age, both from small Tennessee towns and maybe our connection is we have crossed paths in our lives. Maybe at a football game or something. I played a lot of sports and traveled the state a lot.

Anyway our days are so close that I feel a special bond with you. It is almost like I wake up and say to myself "How is Wilkey feeling this morning".

Hey today is my big two week mark...............................

I admire you so much for going for your masters. I have a couple of BS and minors. I have wanted my MBA for several years but the pills have robbed me of my ambitions. What will your master be ? I can just see you with a PHD in pschology. Dr. Wilkey could help so many. You are now pill free and the world is yours. Go get it may dear friend , Wilkey...................

Can't wait to hear from you,
fisherman

Hello my friend,
Two weeks, that is just awesome! I am so very proud of you!!!
How are you feeling today? I hope your day is a happy one......
How odd that we are the same age, and live in the same state. It does seem like fate that our paths have crossed on this board, and perhaps, they have crossed before. These coincidences just add to the bond that I share with you. You know, when I quite drinking a little over two years ago, I knew that I had to find something to do with my time, so I decided to go back to school. I am working on my degree in Healthcare Administration. I was so proud of myself for putting down the bottle and than for returning to school.
I had some intense dental work shortly after returning to school, and that is when I discovered my true love, the opiates. You know the drill from there, but, at least I had the presense of mind to stay in school, actually am doing quite well, amazingly enough. It actually helped me to hide my hydro addiction, I could be isolated with just my pills, all under the noble pretense of "doing homework". I could decline invitations, avoid family functions, etc. to spend my time with my hated love, the pills.
So, that is a little more of my story, nothing unusual, I now know, thanks to this board. I really thought I was alone with my addiciton, at least, there was no other "normal" people who could possibly be living the life that I lead. It is such a comfort to have realized this, isn't it? I'm on Day 12, wow, I can't believe it.

Fisherman, I am so proud of you. Day 14, two weeks, it is really going to happen, you are beating this thing!!

Thinking of you,
Wilkey

I do believe in fate and purpose and really feel we were mean't to meet on this forum. We have so much in common is unbelievable. How about this one , I almost changed majors to go into the medical admin field but knew my real knack was Accounting. My career lead me in a strange path. I have wore several hats over the past 20 years. My true love was tax accounting but decided for a CMA instead of a CPA. I almost even had enough for a psch minor. I then thought what the heck, Why not a BS in Business Admin also with a economics minor? Then I worked my way up from the accounting staff to CFO and then over all Human Services for a mid -sized corp. I have worked there 19 years. When I got the Human Resource dumped into my lap , I was forced to take more classes to learn labor law.

I called a Law School last month looking into the idea of getting my Law degree. I don't like many classes to earn my MBA. It just would not help me any toward advancement or probably any increase in pay as long as I stay with my present job. The only job that I could advance any further would be president of the Corp. That will never happen because it is a family owned corp and that will be passed on down to the next generation.

All your talk of school makes me wonder what might happen if I get through this terrible addiction.

You know if I had it all to go over again, I believe I would have went into the medical field. It has to be so much gradification helping others.

Well I have rambled on long enough, I am very proud of you. Your courage only gives me more will to carry on. It is about time to go pick up my daughter from School ...................will talk to you later.

your friend,
Fisherman

Hello my dear friend,
How has Day 15 been for you? Are you feeling any better? I can only hope that the sun will begin to peek through the dark clouds over our heads. I am so tired of feeling sad, aren't you?
It is incredible how much you have accomplished at our young age... What a transition that must have been, from CFO to Director of HR. I can see you getting your law degree, or doing anything at all that you set your mind to.
If you don't mind me asking, what sports did you play in your younger years? I can imagine you as team captain, you are such a motivating person. When did you get diagnosed with the fibro? How is your pain now and how are you going to treat it, is it bearable?
Well, I am quite inquisitive tonight, aren't I? Sorry about that. I just wanted to let you know that I have been thinking about you today, on your 15th day, which, by the way is totally awesome!!!! Aren't you proud of yourself??
I know I am so very proud of you.
Your friend,
Wilkey

Dear Wilkey,

You motivate me so much. Just reading your post makes me smile and feel joy. I will never put a face to your beautiful soul but I know you well. I bet even better than some family and friends. I know your heart. I feel the compassion when you write to anyone on this board. Even though we are both fighting the battles of our lives, you all ways have something positive to say. Thank you very much.

As to sports, you pretty much guessed . Why would I think you would not?

I played all the big three from grade school to college. My favorite game was Point Guard on the Basketball Team but probably not what I was any good at.

Baseball was the game I grew up on. I played Short Stop and Second base and Pitched up until my senior year of HS. Too much pitching at a young age and had to have a little shoulder work done.

We did not have football at the Country school I went to till the 8th grade so I started catching a ride into the City so I could play football also. Was doing pretty decent job at Quarterback until that shoulder problem. I wish I left the old curve ball off in little league. I knew I was going to have a problem because every night after a game I would have to put icey hot on my arm for pain.

After the arm injury, I moved from SS to SB on the Baseball team. Continued to play all the way through college.

So yes I loved sports , played them all but never was really outstanding in any.Just did not have the speed you need to excel. Helped a little with scholarships in colleges but never was lucky enough to get a free ride.

But the great news of the story is I married the Homecoming Queen and as I was dating her at the time , I was lucky enough to escort her on the football field. We have been married 20 years.

And the real twist to the story is she is a far better ballplayer than I ever was. When my daughter was born I just knew we would have the player of the year, however, she is 14 and can't play a lick. Super clumsy.

But boy is she a brain. She was reading Freshman College in the third grade and has blown every tests off the chart. I am glad she has the brainpower over my second hand sports talent.

Just see what you do to me my dear friend, you get me chattering when I am down and get me talking about things that have brought me great joy. You are so special. I have not played ball in several years now but it is fun to reminise about HS days.

I just bet I played on your baseball field around 1979-80.LOL

keep me inspired, as we say her "I might just mount to something oneday"LOL

Keep me posted on your education because I am so proud of you.

your friend,
fisherman "who got way to long winded tonight"

Dearest Fisherman,
I am so glad for your reply, and will respond soon.
I am leaving to go out of town in just a few minutes, just overnight, but I'm not taking my computer, and I didn't want you to worry. I write more upon my return tomorrow night.
I hope this day finds you well, healthy, and happy.
Your friend,
Wilkey

My dear Wilkey,

It has been two days and I have not heard from you. I hope all is well.

thinking of you,
fisherman

Dear Fisherman,
I apologize for not writing sooner, what a down in the dumps weekend I have had. I thought once the physical withdrawals were over, the hard part was over, but the people on this board were correct (as usual), for me the emotional part has been the worst.
I think when I felt so sick, I focused on that, and now that I feel better, I just focus on the emptiness I feel inside. I do feel better today, so I guess the depression for me will just come and go.
Thank-you for sharing your glory days with me, what a wonderful story, and married the homecoming queen, good for you. It sounds like you have a wonderful family, and, for that, I am happy. At least one part of your life brings you peace and contentment. I think you are right, I bet you did play on my homefield in 79-80! I went to all the games, have a brother 11 months younger who played all three as you did, and was quite the loyal sister cheering him on.
I'm so worried about you and your pain. Have you made any decisions yet on what to do? I feel bad feeling sorry for myself, when I read that you are going through actual physical pain, I wish I could be of more help.

So, let me ask you this, did you attend your twenty year reunion?
If so, how was it?

Your dear friend,
Wilkey

On a bright note, it was nice to go out of town and not count, hide, and focus the whole time on pills........

My sweet Wilkey,

I had a feeling you was having a hard time this past weekend. It is so weird that I had those vibes about you. That is why I made the little reply.

Hang in there, I promise it will be better by day 22. It slowly but surely gets better daily.

I had a sweet little strike out streak going in in 1978 before I messed up my shoulder. Did your brother ever get struck out by a boy with too long of hair?LOL He probably the young man who hit one so hard to me on SS and I fumbled and cost us the Game. Wilkey, you just make me think of the old days so much.

Went to the 5 and 10 but skipped the 20. Same old clicks run together , you know the drill. They think because they were class president it makes them boss today.LOL A few of use old baseball playerws get together on ocasion and talk about glory days. Small town, USA , we all run across eachother everyday, just go to Wal-mart.LOL

hang in there friend,
fisherman