Susie0926
08-30-2004, 03:56 PM
I have posted here before about my sister's 4 year old son Jesse. He was diagnosed earlier this year and the last month or so she has been having a time getting him ready in the mornings. He never wanted to do anything for himself until recently, which I told my sister it's a positive thing if he does want to do things on his own. The problem is, he does them at his own pace and they can't get anywhere on time. He dresses himself, but he wants to run around naked for a while (not sure how long) and will not allow my sis or her husband to do anything. He wants to completely dress himself or he throws fits. They can't go to church because they are always late because of this behavior. He is starting to a special preschool soon and my sis says she will probably have to get him up about 5 a.m. each day. Jesse likes routine and does everything at his own pace. Does anyone else have problems like this and if so could you share some ideas that may help her? Thank you so much for any advice.
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memehegan
08-30-2004, 09:30 PM
I make sure that I have at least one thing for breakfast that my son likes to eat- he doesnt eat until hes ready- also he's crazy about tv- he cant watch that until hes ready- if she can just find the right "carrot" to dangle and encourage him to get ready.-meme
ang64063
08-31-2004, 10:59 AM
I took a class earlier this year called Love and Logic. One of the things that we talked about in that class is what to do when your kid won't get dressed in the morning and you have to go and do stuff (such as work, errands, Church, etc.). What it said to do was this. 1. Lay out the clothes the night before when there is less stress. 2. Get them up in plenty of time to get dressed, brush their teeth and eat breakfast. If by say 8AM (or whatever time you need to leave) they are not dressed, grab their clothes, shoes, breakfast bar or snack, etc. and go to the car. Most usually the embarrsement of them being outside in their underwear or worse than that, will be enough to make them get dressed when you ask them to. It does work, because I have had to do this with my own kids.
Another thing that might work is PECS pictures (there are several websites that you can print them up for free), or some type of a visual schedule that lets them know what they need to do during the day.
I have posted here before about my sister's 4 year old son Jesse. He was diagnosed earlier this year and the last month or so she has been having a time getting him ready in the mornings. He never wanted to do anything for himself until recently, which I told my sister it's a positive thing if he does want to do things on his own. The problem is, he does them at his own pace and they can't get anywhere on time. He dresses himself, but he wants to run around naked for a while (not sure how long) and will not allow my sis or her husband to do anything. He wants to completely dress himself or he throws fits. They can't go to church because they are always late because of this behavior. He is starting to a special preschool soon and my sis says she will probably have to get him up about 5 a.m. each day. Jesse likes routine and does everything at his own pace. Does anyone else have problems like this and if so could you share some ideas that may help her? Thank you so much for any advice.
Another thing that might work is PECS pictures (there are several websites that you can print them up for free), or some type of a visual schedule that lets them know what they need to do during the day.
I have posted here before about my sister's 4 year old son Jesse. He was diagnosed earlier this year and the last month or so she has been having a time getting him ready in the mornings. He never wanted to do anything for himself until recently, which I told my sister it's a positive thing if he does want to do things on his own. The problem is, he does them at his own pace and they can't get anywhere on time. He dresses himself, but he wants to run around naked for a while (not sure how long) and will not allow my sis or her husband to do anything. He wants to completely dress himself or he throws fits. They can't go to church because they are always late because of this behavior. He is starting to a special preschool soon and my sis says she will probably have to get him up about 5 a.m. each day. Jesse likes routine and does everything at his own pace. Does anyone else have problems like this and if so could you share some ideas that may help her? Thank you so much for any advice.
Susie0926
09-01-2004, 10:54 AM
Thank you both for your suggestions. I will pass these ideas on to my sister and see what she thinks about them. I'm not sure what she has tried yet, but I'm sure she is open to any ideas. Thanks again!
SheRa
09-16-2004, 09:25 PM
I wouldn't try doing this to a child with autism. Not only is it not nice to humilate a child with special needs alot of kids with autism at 4 would have no qualms about going outside naked, My son personally had no fear of embarrisment at 4 years old and loved to go naked also. They aren't doing it to be annoying they truly need the time to adjust to leaving. Here is what I have done and would do.
#1 Give myself PLENTY of extra time especially until I get a routine down. It takes my son an hour to get ready in the morning. But he is now 14. For a 4 year old autistic child I've give myself even more time than that until I got it all figured out.
#2 I think the having the clothes ready ahead of time is an excellent suggestion.
#3 Set a timer. He should be allowed to have naked time (maybe covered up with towel or robe though) and have time to sit and watch tv. You cannot and should NOT rush a child with autism IMO. Especially at this age they still tantrum and get upset during transitional times. He should know ahead of time where they are going and what is going to happen next. They should decide ahead of time to set the timer for so long like 1/2 hour for the show and tell him when this show is over it's time to comb your hair. Pictures also help especially with the brushing teeth, combing hair stuff.
Kids with autism love routine and really hate to be surprised. I'd get myself a routine like this (I still have one and have no problems getting ready now) and stick to it. You have to be patient and give yourself a LOT of extra time.
Eventually they'll be able to do it themselves.
This is how my 14 year old autistic son starts his day now on a school day.
He sleeps naked because he still LOVES to be naked but now knows it's not appropriate only when he's by himself in his room at bedtime by himself. So I wake him up and tell him I'll wake him again in 10 mins. He gets up, gets dressed, feeds his guenia pig, feeds the dog and then sits down in front of the tv to watch spongebob. When spongebob is over, he brushes his teeth, puts on his deodorant, washes his face and combs his hair and is out the door. He does it the exact same way each and every day. He doesn't have problems anymore with transition but he still loves his routines.
#1 Give myself PLENTY of extra time especially until I get a routine down. It takes my son an hour to get ready in the morning. But he is now 14. For a 4 year old autistic child I've give myself even more time than that until I got it all figured out.
#2 I think the having the clothes ready ahead of time is an excellent suggestion.
#3 Set a timer. He should be allowed to have naked time (maybe covered up with towel or robe though) and have time to sit and watch tv. You cannot and should NOT rush a child with autism IMO. Especially at this age they still tantrum and get upset during transitional times. He should know ahead of time where they are going and what is going to happen next. They should decide ahead of time to set the timer for so long like 1/2 hour for the show and tell him when this show is over it's time to comb your hair. Pictures also help especially with the brushing teeth, combing hair stuff.
Kids with autism love routine and really hate to be surprised. I'd get myself a routine like this (I still have one and have no problems getting ready now) and stick to it. You have to be patient and give yourself a LOT of extra time.
Eventually they'll be able to do it themselves.
This is how my 14 year old autistic son starts his day now on a school day.
He sleeps naked because he still LOVES to be naked but now knows it's not appropriate only when he's by himself in his room at bedtime by himself. So I wake him up and tell him I'll wake him again in 10 mins. He gets up, gets dressed, feeds his guenia pig, feeds the dog and then sits down in front of the tv to watch spongebob. When spongebob is over, he brushes his teeth, puts on his deodorant, washes his face and combs his hair and is out the door. He does it the exact same way each and every day. He doesn't have problems anymore with transition but he still loves his routines.
Susie0926
09-17-2004, 09:14 AM
I like your ideas! I'll print this out for my sister to see. She has often wondered what Jesse will be like when he gets older and this may give her some hope. It sounds like your son is well adjusted and you are doing a wonderful job raising him. Thanks again, your advice sounds great!
SheRa
09-17-2004, 02:35 PM
They just need a lot more love and extra patience and a good support system is ever so helpful. A good school system is very very important.
ang64063
09-18-2004, 01:32 AM
I just want to say that I never suggested for a child to go outside of the home naked.
SheRa
09-18-2004, 10:59 AM
"Most usually the embarrsement of them being outside in their underwear or worse than that,"
That's the quote I got that from. I didn't think you'd REALLY leave them naked. :jester: LOL I just don't think they should be rushed. That's just my opinion though. In my experience the things you do to get a regular kid to do what you want isn't the same as one that has autism. I have one of each and actually now that they are teenagers and I'ved worked so much with Cory he is the easy one! In fact some kids are early risers and some are just not whether autistic or not. I just find it easier to make more time for it rather than making it stressful. Now Cory is the early riser and since he has a routine he gets ready quicker. My older son Zack is the one who just hops out of bed at the last minute and leaves the house not as groomed as I'd like. Then again he's 17 so whatareyagonna do?
Also, at least with Cory, if I did something like get in the car he'd probably become hysterical. He had a fear of me leaving him like that and I'd never even done anything like that. I've always hated it when parents say I'm going to leave you here! I try to treat my kids the way I want to be treated.
I think the lower the stress in your home, especially with a child that has autism, the happier and more successful he/she will be and easier to live with.
I just want to say that I never suggested for a child to go outside of the home naked.
That's the quote I got that from. I didn't think you'd REALLY leave them naked. :jester: LOL I just don't think they should be rushed. That's just my opinion though. In my experience the things you do to get a regular kid to do what you want isn't the same as one that has autism. I have one of each and actually now that they are teenagers and I'ved worked so much with Cory he is the easy one! In fact some kids are early risers and some are just not whether autistic or not. I just find it easier to make more time for it rather than making it stressful. Now Cory is the early riser and since he has a routine he gets ready quicker. My older son Zack is the one who just hops out of bed at the last minute and leaves the house not as groomed as I'd like. Then again he's 17 so whatareyagonna do?
Also, at least with Cory, if I did something like get in the car he'd probably become hysterical. He had a fear of me leaving him like that and I'd never even done anything like that. I've always hated it when parents say I'm going to leave you here! I try to treat my kids the way I want to be treated.
I think the lower the stress in your home, especially with a child that has autism, the happier and more successful he/she will be and easier to live with.
I just want to say that I never suggested for a child to go outside of the home naked.