Hi everyone~ I was wondering if anyone might have some advice or thoughts on my current situation. (please excuse any typos)
I have a very close friend, whom I've known for over 20 years, and her father was diagnosed with colon and liver cancer about 2 weeks ago. (he's 57) He had a catheter put in his chest yesterday to begin chemo soon to treat the liver, and is having a colonoscopy tomorrow.
I'm saying my prayers all the time, and trying so hard to keep thinking positive. But this whole thing is so scary :( I guess I'm just looking for some encouraging words or thoughts so that I can be strong for my friend and her family.

Even if no one has time to respond, thanks for listening anyway. I just needed to share.

Meliss

Miss Pell, There are some wonderful survival stories on this board. I hope you took the time to read some of the posts so that you can share the good news with your friends family. I will say a prayer for you all. My sister had lung cancer last year and she is doing wonderfully now.

It's ok to be scared when there is a diagnosis of colon & liver cancer.
Who wouldn't be? Sometimes everyone is so upbeat & cheerful that the person with cancer doesn't feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and fears!!

When my Dad had Stage 4 colon cancer I would have loved to have someone ask me seriously how I was feeling. And not take "I'm Fine" for an answer! Sometimes I needed to talk and didn't feel there was anyone I could "burden" with my fears either.

No one wants to speak as if the outcome is anything but positive, but as long as you do more listening than automatically trying to cheer someone up, I can tell you that you will be of great help.
(Depending on the family circumstances offering to help with a meal, or a drive to an appt., or sending a card or a note, or mowing a lawn, etc. may help too)

I'm brand new here but feel I must add to what Ruth 6:11 said. It's true the best gift to offer is a listening ear. I cared for my mother and father during their individual battles with different cancers. Inside, I found myself screaming for someone, *anyone*, who would ask "How are you?" and mean it. It was a rough time for everyone, but having nowhere to turn to refill myself to begin another day of care for a parent I loved made it more unbearable. I couldn't say I was worried about this thing or that thing. The one time I expressed concern that mom was deteriorating and I thought we might lose her in a matter of days, my brothers and father railed at me for exaggerating mom's condition, and so on and so on and so on. Shocked at their reaction, I kept quiet after that and grieved alone in my mother's bedroom, sitting in a rocking chair wondering if I could be any comfort to anyone. Mom passed away within 3 or 4 days of that incident, btw. My brother still lives with guilt because he didn't take the time to see mom after that awful afternoon when they had convinced themselves mom wasn't as bad as I said. What she'd done is rally for her family. I've watched terminally ill people do that over and over. Once the loved ones leave the room, the patient falls back too exhausted to do anything but sleep. So...just be there. Listen. When you ask, "How are you?" make certain they understand you really want to know.
My prayers are with you and I'm so sorry to hear this news.
Blessings,
Cathyu

i just read about your friends father...Im sorry to hear. My mother is also 57 and in the same situation. She had 2 tumors removed from her colon last week and we found out that the cancer had spread to her liver. There were no previous symptoms, except being a little tired. This has been so hard for our whole family.Could really use some encouraging experiences.

Hello all

I had similar experiences whilst caring for my mum. Her decline took several months and so she fell into the practice of offering the habitual "im fine" response. Mum did fully understand our desire to help her and to help her help herself but it took a lot of practice and patience on both sides to find the right way of talking about her illness without dwelling on it too long. She knew her time was short and wanted to carry on spending my inheritance and enjoy herself :jester: :rolleyes:
The worse time for me was when she needed pain relief but would not tell us in enough time. Thats when we concentrated on her body language a lot.
My brother and sister helped in different degrees to share the caring and visiting.

Anyhow...........back to the point ktee :nono:

Miss-pell............ I had not heard of the chest port until one of the guys here posted about it. My husband had an elbow port. Not sure who won the battle of who had the best one !!! But having a port is a lot easier than sitting around in a clinic waiting for the drips to go through.
You say the port is to treat the liver........... do you know if this is the type that goes straight into the liver ? I have heard very little about this type of treatment. My husband had chemo to shrink his liver tumors (oxaliplating/5fu/folonic acid) and it worked v.well so they could surgically remove them. The docs said that the best shrinkage comes by the 6th treatment. So he had another 6 chemos after his op as a prevention against recurrence and so far that has worked too. He is now 18 months post diagnosis of stage 4 bowel cancer.

Hope it works out for your friends father

regards to all
ktee

Hi Ktee, Had to put in my two cents..or pennies to you! When the nodules on my husband's liver were suggestive of liver mets, the surgeon in the States said he would have done Radiofrequency Ablation therapy, whereby they burn the malignant area(s) and then fixed him up with a port from which 5Fu would have gone straight into the liver, rather than around the whole system, I guess. I understood it to mean that the infusion would have been continuous for as long as it took.