concerned mama
09-02-2004, 04:06 PM
I'm new here, and I need your help. I have a 9 year old son who has always had problems in school and at home. We've had numerous meetings with the school principal teachers etc. and have recieved no help. His teachers 1-3 grade all have a different opinion on what he could have ( inattentive add, asperger's syndrome, learning disibillity). Last school year in 3rd grade after fighting with the school for 3 years the school psychologists tested him for a learning disibilty. He said that they're was a discrepency in my son son's school work compared to his test scores, so that meant he didn't have a learning disiblity. The psychologists was rude,and only spent a few minutes talking to my son so how could he know this. Last school year my PCP also referred him to a neurologist, he is running a fragile x , and 3 other tests on him, he also referred him for a neuro assesment. We're still waiting on this because these specialists all have waiting lists up to 3 months. Mean while we've started a new school year, and again the school will not do anything to help him. Some of the paperwork we have from our visit to the neurologists says that he may have a devolopmental delay. Yet the school says that this is not a disibilty and that they will not hire an aide just to help him. We have a SSt meeting with the school on the 20th of this month, and we usually feel intimidated at these meetings, what kind of questions should I ask, should I have someone that knows about disibilties go with me? Should my son see a different specialists or are neurologist the ones that usually diagnose children with these types of disibities. I know this is long, but this is the 4th school year dealing with this. I am so frustrated I don't know what to do, I'm so happy I found this message board. We live in a smal town, and I didn't know where else to turn. TIA
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concerned mama
09-02-2004, 04:08 PM
I'm new here, and I need your help. I have a 9 year old son who has always had problems in school and at home. We've had numerous meetings with the school principal teachers etc. and have recieved no help. His teachers 1-3 grade all have a different opinion on what he could have ( inattentive add, asperger's syndrome, learning disibillity). Last school year in 3rd grade after fighting with the school for 3 years the school psychologists tested him for a learning disibilty. He said that they're was a discrepency in my son son's school work compared to his test scores, so that meant he didn't have a learning disiblity. The psychologists was rude,and only spent a few minutes talking to my son so how could he know this. Last school year my PCP also referred him to a neurologist, he is running a fragile x , and 3 other tests on him, he also referred him for a neuro assesment. We're still waiting on this because these specialists all have waiting lists up to 3 months. Mean while we've started a new school year, and again the school will not do anything to help him. Some of the paperwork we have from our visit to the neurologists says that he may have a devolopmental delay. Yet the school says that this is not a disibilty and that they will not hire an aide just to help him. We have a SSt meeting with the school on the 20th of this month, and we usually feel intimidated at these meetings, what kind of questions should I ask, should I have someone that knows about disibilties go with me? Should my son see a different specialists or are neurologist the ones that usually diagnose children with these types of disibities. I know this is long, but this is the 4th school year dealing with this. I am so frustrated I don't know what to do, I'm so happy I found this message board. We live in a smal town, and I didn't know where else to turn. TIA
sylvia32
09-02-2004, 07:14 PM
:angel:
Hi my name is Sylvia. I was just wondering if you got the help you needed. I have a son who is also 9 years old. He has Autisum, and you would not believe what me and my husband went through the first two years he was in school. But i don't have any problems now. I learned a few things along the way. So if you still need help let me know Sylvia :wave:
Hi my name is Sylvia. I was just wondering if you got the help you needed. I have a son who is also 9 years old. He has Autisum, and you would not believe what me and my husband went through the first two years he was in school. But i don't have any problems now. I learned a few things along the way. So if you still need help let me know Sylvia :wave:
ang64063
09-03-2004, 02:33 PM
Okay, first of all you need to get your child throughly evaluated. If you have a Hospital that has a department for developmental and behavioral sciences or a psychatrist that specializes in special needs kids that is close by, I would recommend you start there and see if they evaluate him. I know that it may take a while to get him in, but the sooner that you can get him in the better off you will be. You may even find that if the doctor has cancelations, you may be able to get in sooner that you had expected.
Second of all, the school cannot do anything for him until you get that diagnosis. Once you have a diagnosis, call the school and set up and IEP (Individual Education Plan) meeting for him. At that time they should have done their evaluation and will have some knowledge of what services he needs and is qualified to receive.
As for having someone come to the meeting with you and questions you should ask. I would take notes on the things that you see at home that he needs to work on (social skills, physical therapy, ocupational therapy, speech, things he can't do that other kids his age can, etc) and ask them if they can help him with these things. And as for having someone with you, you can always hire a lawyer or a child advocate to go with you. If you child sees any other specialists ask them to come to the meeting, you may have to pay them for their time, but if you feel that you cannot get the services you need, it may be worth the money.
Second of all, the school cannot do anything for him until you get that diagnosis. Once you have a diagnosis, call the school and set up and IEP (Individual Education Plan) meeting for him. At that time they should have done their evaluation and will have some knowledge of what services he needs and is qualified to receive.
As for having someone come to the meeting with you and questions you should ask. I would take notes on the things that you see at home that he needs to work on (social skills, physical therapy, ocupational therapy, speech, things he can't do that other kids his age can, etc) and ask them if they can help him with these things. And as for having someone with you, you can always hire a lawyer or a child advocate to go with you. If you child sees any other specialists ask them to come to the meeting, you may have to pay them for their time, but if you feel that you cannot get the services you need, it may be worth the money.
sunnybrook
09-03-2004, 02:34 PM
Hi Tia,
Welcome to the boards. I have a son that is 8 years old and in the 3rd grade he has Aspergers Syndrome and ADHD. I can understand your frustration with the schools.
Once your neurologist completes his evaluation that will help; they have to provide services if a doctor finds he has a developmental delay. One thing I have found out though is one of the hardest services to get is a one on one aide. Depending on your sons needs some possible services to ask for are occupational therapy ( helps with motor skills and sensory issues) , and speech. I hope this meeting goes better for you and that they start providing the help your son needs. Best of wishes to your family.
Welcome to the boards. I have a son that is 8 years old and in the 3rd grade he has Aspergers Syndrome and ADHD. I can understand your frustration with the schools.
Once your neurologist completes his evaluation that will help; they have to provide services if a doctor finds he has a developmental delay. One thing I have found out though is one of the hardest services to get is a one on one aide. Depending on your sons needs some possible services to ask for are occupational therapy ( helps with motor skills and sensory issues) , and speech. I hope this meeting goes better for you and that they start providing the help your son needs. Best of wishes to your family.
concerned mama
09-03-2004, 05:44 PM
Thank you all for responding. My son is is scheduled for a Neuro assesment, I hope that this helps us. The trouble we're having now is getting our insurance to cover, the cost is $1400, and we would have to travel about 250 miles each way for 8 sessions. I had heard that the school might be responsible for costs of these test. Does anyone know if this is true?
Midget
09-03-2004, 08:58 PM
Yeah, if I remember right, I think it took my parents a long time to finally get me evaluated and to figure out what exactly was wrong. You just gotta be persisitent.
kmercon
09-03-2004, 09:00 PM
I just felt like I should tell you to try and not be intimidated by these people. Keep in the back of your mind that you are advocating for your child. There are some people who give up after fighting battles with the school system and just pull thier children out of school rather than possibly having the child traumatized by the experience. I have a grandson with AS, ADHD, OCD,and Tics. He got along ok in kindergarten and 1st grade. Last year...second grade was a nightmare. I won't go into too much detail, but, whenever the teacher and principal couldn't handle his behaviour they would remove him from the classroom and lock him in a storage closet. There were times when he came home from school bleeding from where they tried to restrain him. At one point one of the aids tried to actually press charges against him when he threw a block and it hit her...we even had to take him to the police station to make a statement....that was interesting. All this after he had a diagnosis from a psychologist and an IEP in place. By the end of the school year the best they could come up with was to have him only attend half a day with a tutor and aid in an unused classroom at the Jr. High. This year his parents and I were a little better prepared to take them on. He did miss the first 3 days of school because the special ed director failed to have anything in place for him. I ended up calling the superintendant of schools and telling him that it was unacceptable...and a few other choice (but respectful) things. The next day they had him all set up. He just finished his first week of school with a wonderful teacher, and aid, and for the first time in his school experience he is learning and happy to be going to school every day. The best thing you can do for your child is to educate yourself on what his rights are and prepare for the meetings. If you go in there with informed and don't let them bully you....stick to your convictions about what you want for your child...fight fight fight...but try not to alienate them either. We live in a very small town too, so I know it's not easy to find resources locally. Use the internet to do some research, or even the public library. This board is a good place to find information and to hear what other people have been experiencing, too. Keep us updated.
GabesMom
09-04-2004, 12:39 AM
Hi, I'm kmercon's daughter and as she said we live in a really small town. I just thought I would let you know how we got our diagnosis and armed ourselves with the knowledge we needed to fight. We were at the point of trying to get the dx around this time last year and were being told that it would take weeks, possibly months. We were told off record a way around that. I don't know if you have a Children's Hospital nearby (we had to drive an hour to get to one), but we were told to go to the ER. I thought this was a little strange and kind of drastic, but we went and told them that our son was having meltdowns and he needed a psych evaluation. They didn't even bat and eyelash, took him back and had him evaluated right away. They mostly just asked questions, but most importantly they set us up with an appointment to see a behavioral psychologist for the following week who gave us the formal diagnosis THAT DAY. With this dx the school at least stopped jerking us around about what was actually wrong with him. We knew without a doubt that he had AS, so we had been talking with other parents online and had been reccomended a book that has been a life saver. I really feel that every parent that has a child with a disability should have a copy of this book. It's called The Complete IEP Guide: How to Advocate for Your Special Needs Child (you can get a copy on amazon). It will tell you step by step how to request info, get the services you need, and even has form letters you can copy for just about everything you can imagine. The last piece of advice is that you document EVERYTHING. I have an online journal that I write in every day and I also have a file box that I keep copies of every letter I write, everything the school puts in writing, and everything we get from the different doctors. If you want, you can go to LiveJournal and type in user: gabearmand. This is my online journal and you can read through everything that has happened in the last year. Also you can find contact info if you have other questions or just need someone to vent to.
I Love LJC
09-04-2004, 11:52 PM
What went on is flat out CHILD ABUSE! There is no excuse! The way this child was treated by his school..I would report this!So it never happens again.
lost_angel_AS
09-09-2004, 04:05 PM
Hello I was reading this post and I can so relate to all the feelings you have I just had one of those meetings yesterday and now I just feel so lost My 13 YR SON is so lost the classes are so big and I wasnt told he had AS intil he was in 3rd grade and it was by the school psychologist and I thought she was full of it, It took me along time to see what was going on and watching Donnie closer for signs I always knew something was different but one niite I looked up AS on the net and started reading I was in tears and alot of things became so clear that he has AS. I hate those meetings I come out feeling so angry and upset and looking in the teachers faces for answers to help Donnie and most of them are as lost as I am and the ones that know about AS want to place him in a class with kids that have alot of problems that I feel would make Donnie worse if hes placed there he would just tune out everyone and it wont do anyone any good. He annoys the pe teacher and follows him telling him the kids are talking about him or picking on him sometimes its true but sometimes Donnie can get looked at and feel like hes being picked on. The teachers try to modify his work and in pe they try to say Donnie you just have to walk the track not run it annoys the other kids when he doesnt have to do something they have to do. I am so worried when he gets to HS that hes gonna get hurt sometimes he cant contrl himself and blurts things out and it may just get him hurt kids are so much bigger and meaner in HS. I pray he finds one friend that he can hang with but its not likely. :confused: thanks for listening
kastenm
09-09-2004, 11:28 PM
I agree with Angela's post about getting the school to respond. Take a lawyer or a child advocate into the meeting and you'll get a much better response.
I'm a teacher, and I hope that everyone here can convince their legislators to increase funding for schools. The biggest part of the problem is that schools do not have the funding for the personnel or training to effectively educate special needs students. We need help...most teachers I know are very diligent and conscientious about their jobs, but are usually overwhelmed at everything they have to accomplish in a day.
Please find a way to help the schools so we can help your children.
I'm a teacher, and I hope that everyone here can convince their legislators to increase funding for schools. The biggest part of the problem is that schools do not have the funding for the personnel or training to effectively educate special needs students. We need help...most teachers I know are very diligent and conscientious about their jobs, but are usually overwhelmed at everything they have to accomplish in a day.
Please find a way to help the schools so we can help your children.