Hi Carl,

I noticed your post about surgery, and just had to compliment you. You made a great case.

So how's it going? Are the withdrawl symptoms over? And is your pain getting any better?

I start my hydro therapy next week. I'm also going back to work next Wednesday. I'm actually looking forward to it. Being home, especially these last couple of weeks when I've been feeling pretty good has been nice. Especially getting to spend extra time with my daughter before she starts back to school next week. But, I miss my work. I'm a graphic designer, and the Sr. Art Director at a cosmetics company here, and I really enjoy my work.

How's your new job training going? Did you start yet? I'll have to start coming to you with all my computer system problems. I work on a MAC. Are you on MAC or PC?

Anyway, I've got to get my little peanut to bed. Look forward to hearing from you.

Cheers,
Julie :D

Aloha Julie,

First off, thanks for the compliment, and second through eighth it’s going very well thank you. Yes I believe the worst is over as far as the withdrawal is concerned. What a turbulent time that was :eek: , but I believe that it was for the best. Pain? Oh ya pain, good days and bad, I do not waiver on my Vicodin dosage…three a day with my Neurontin, like clockwork, it seems to take the edge off of the pain, I am not quite ready to go without the Vicodin yet, maybe in a month or two.

My doctor released me for four hours light duty work last week, however, my [former] employer said that they have eliminated my position and have no light duty part time work for me :( , even though they have advertised to fill my former position in the Sunday newspaper for the past month and a half. That’s OK; I didn’t want to go back there with my animosity any way. So…when I am released for a more aggressive 8-hour day (probably in 4 – 6 weeks) training will more than likely be in order. And yes, I am a PC geek (wannabe, I am worried about going back to school after 24 years :dizzy: ), I dabbled in the Mac format about ten years ago, but PC’s were a little less expensive to build, so I stuck with the clones.

Wow, don’t you have a glamorous job :cool: , no wonder you miss your job so much and want to go back so soon. You have really done very well for yourself…wow! Sr. Art Director and graphics designer! This explains why you chose to use a Mac, the best graphics tool around. That is great, I wish you much success on your return and I pray that your pain will not rear its ugly head again.

Give your little peanut a hug and kiss from uncle Carl. Aloha!

Carl,

You said I was one tough mama. Well dude, let me say that you are one super tough papa! You went from Avinza to 3 Vicodin a day? That is hard. Keep taking the Vicodin until you don't need them anymore okay. They are alot easier to quit than the Avinza.

PC's are a mystery to me. I know they are alot harder than the mac. I remember years ago trying to work on a pc, and I became very frustrated. My job sounds more glamourous than it is, but I do love it.

I wouldn't worry to much about going back to school. Your'e a bright guy. I have a feeling it will be fun for you. You're such a social person, I'm sure you'll have a great time in class.

Your ex employer sounds like a real jerk. You have a case, but I'm glad to hear you're not going back, I think that's an emotionally healthly decision.

Did the hydro therapy build up your strength pretty fast?

Talk to you soon,
Julie :wave:

Hiya Carl :wave:

Just wanted to throw my 2 cents regarding going back to school.

Its alot different then when you were a kid - its YOUR choice to go back.

I did it a few years back and was terrified - I wound up being a 4.0 student.

Your a smart guy - put your mind to it - you can do anything you want to!!


Keep up the good work!!

All my best,
Tina :cool:

Aloha Julie & Tina,

Thank you both for your positive feedback. This is going to be the second time that I have had to prime myself for the Adult educational arena. It was four years ago when I had enrolled in a more mainstream university. I was going for an associates degree in IT, however, there were other prerequisites included in the curriculum as well which is what had me more concerned than the computer portion. 5 hours a night, four nights a week.

I was enrolled, made it through the entry exams ok, I had all my financing and grants finished and I even picked up all of my books. Let me tell you, I was frightened out of my wits, but due to unfortunate circumstances beyond my control, I had to withdrawal from the program.

Now that all of this (my back) has happened, I kind of look back and think that it may have been a blessing in disguise. I was extremely bummed out at the time, but even though I would have graduated by now, I would still be in debt with my student loans and all. Now I will get to have some training on my former employers nickel.

The training center I will attend concentrates on industry standard certifications rather than a degree. Certifications are more favorable to most employers in the IT field than are degrees, so I think I will make out all right in the long run. And another fringe benefit is that I will still get my W/C wage replacement checks while I am going to school. Still, all of this good stuff will not dissipate any of my anxiety for going into the classroom after all of these years, at least I won’t have to endure any social studies, math, or other rudimentary classes as I would have a few years ago, and the certs should prove to be more valuable than a degree as well.

It’s going to be a long haul, and I still have been having a tough time dealing with all of my emotional baggage. I firmly believe that things happen for a reason, and this is why it has been so difficult emotionally and psychologically, I cannot figure out why all of the bad stuff happens, it really can drive a person nuts. I guess I just have to take my own medicine and keep a good, positive attitude and look towards the future. I still have a good 30 years plus left to offer the world (God help us :rolleyes: ). Here I am rambling on again, anyway thanks for listening (reading).

Oh, and about the aqua therapy, the strengthening didn’t really happen until I started the land based PT. I noticed that I had a lot more flexibility very soon after starting the aqua therapy though. Have fun and Good Luck!

Carl

Carl,
Sometimes bad stuff just happens, no rhyme or reason. You don't deserve any of the bad stuff that's happened, it's just life.

But it sounds like you're dealing with it and moving on, which is really great.

I think it's wonderful you ex employer has to pay for your training. It doesn't give you your back back, but at least he has to take responsibility for giving you the means to make a good living. I know a lot of guys that freelance doing IT and do very well for themselves.

I went to college late if life too, and there's alot to be said for practical experience. It really does give you a leg up. You'll do great.

Talk to you soon,
Julie

:wave: Hey Haw N Carl, (did I get that right)........I've been looking for ya. Wondering how your doing? I'm fairly new here on the board, first saw your post on SCARED. I was just curious how you injured your back? Seems like its been a difficult road. I've been perusing the board for awhile and reading posts by people who have to deal with being on disability, and coping with the pain of disease or injury. Not to mention dealing with life.

Your an excellent writer, have you ever considered writing a book about your journey? You could start with magaines?

I know from some of your posts you've written that your coping with back pain and from alot of hurt in your marriage. What happened with you and your wife. (I know I'm pretty blunt),....but you've been pretty open in your posts. If you'd rather not share I can understand. There is another thread around here on the board regarding back pain and how it has affected marriages.

I have a sister-in-law that is dealing with alcholism resulting from a back injury years ago. I know she was taking quite a bit of medication for pain then she had to take an early retirement from a job she loved. She began to add alchol to the medication and its been a bad scene.

She did go to rehab, but I believe shes had a relapse. Her family is grown and gone. They love her and are trying to deal with all that she and they are gowing thru.

Hope things are better for you. Remember I'm still praying for you. :angel:
nana

Haw'nCarl,

Don't worry at all about going back to school at whatever your age is. Even if it's the local Community Collage. I had a man in my computer class back in 1984 who was in his 80's. He was a great fellow with a sharp whit and got an A+. He said he'd probably go to school until he died. It kept his mind active and he enjoyed learning. He wasn't after any degree. I thought him amazing.

Have you considered the University of Phoenix? They do it all online. They offer an array of courses. I've been thinking about it since I'm pretty much laid up in bed (due to my stupid doctor not medicating me correctly) and this new laptop will do anything. I beta tested online gaming software for companies like Sony and Electronic Arts when I had my IDET procedure and was off my feet a lot. It was fun, but I didn't get paid for it. I was thinking if I have an ADR, I might as well be doing something constructive like learning, not playing games. (Although the games were fun. Getting stuck in doors, falling off the world, etc. I had a blast.) Anyway, it was just a thought. I've heard great things about the University of Phoenix.

Aloha All, :wave:

Julie – As always...Thanks for the vote of confidence, and your kind words.

Hannasnana – Thank you also, I did add a post to the “scared” thread, I believe it was a couple of weeks ago. I thought that maybe you had moved on, as I did not see any response.

Thank you for the compliment, I would love to write for a publication. I wouldn’t know where to begin, or how.

As far as my marriage is concerned, I really could not pinpoint any one thing, as it is more than likely a conglomeration of things that has shaken our foundation. Being at home all of the time, my chronic pain causing irritability (she can not grasp the fact that I am not mad at her, just at life), a sense of insecurity and an uncertain future because of my physical limitations (lifetime limitations, i.e. 25 lbs.), loss of income and on and on. She’s still scared that she may hurt me, so she still won’t sleep with me (literally and sexually). No alcohol, drug or physical abuse here, nothing like that at all, just the world being turned upside down, that’s all. We have invested over 19 years of our lives already, I can only keep faith that we will get through this.

Stormy – last but certainly not least, Thank you for your story.

The fellow that you had mentioned was your classmate in 84, of course he wasn’t after any degrees, he was after all the chicks, the little devil. :D

Beta testing games huh, what a dream job, lots of people would do that for free, (myself included) but I also heard that game testers could be compensated quite handsomely (six figures handsomely), cha-ching!.

Yes we did extensive research into our alternatives regarding training. Because I am in the W/C world, I am dealing with a Vocational Rehab counselor and Phoenix University was included in our research. The training facility we may go with is a local company who concentrates on industry standard (CompTIA) certifications training (A+, Network+, Security+, etc.), they also have a great internship program along with a close relationship with the local military bases (Pearl Harbor, etc.). Because of all of these positives this seems to be the most favorable formula. The training center is also in tune with people with disabilities and allows for standing and walking breaks as needed. But thanks nonetheless for the thought and suggestion. My prayers are with you and I hope you can realize success with an ADR.

I would like to convey to all of my Healthboard brothers, sisters, aunties and uncles a kind hey there. :wave: I hope that I can pass on to every one of you, a fraction of the Love, understanding, support, guidance, encouragement, and kind words that I have had the privilege to collect here since I have joined this wonderful community. It has had a tremendous positive impact on me, and I hope to collect and give these tangibles for a long time to come. Good Luck and God Bless. :angel:

Carl

Hi Carl, :wave:
thanks for sharing. Have you been journaling your journey during this time? Someday when your looking back over your shoulder at the path you've gone, you'll have alot to share with others. :)

Haw"NCarl,

Your very sweet. I've also noticed how very elequent you are with words. I know some one else brough it up, but seriously, are you an author? If you aren't, you should be. You write with a wonderful style and whit. You are also very open and genuine which is a rare thing these days. But the rythym of your words and the style with which you type them, just leads me to believe you should go into the field of writing, if you aren't already published.

You should keep a journal (as was suggested by someone,) and then write of your journey through Chronic pain. I'm keeping a journal just as an outlet of sorts. It helps me release my anger and rage that I've had to endure from the doctors that treat me like some child or some drug addict looking for a fix. It outrages me that I have to suffer from people who's first duty is to "first do no harm." But your journal would be a peice of art.

Well, anyway, whatever you manage to decide to do, I'm sure you will be amazing at it. You have a gravity about you that draws people and it's a rare and wonderful thing. I wish you well in whatever endeavour you choose, and I know, deep in my heart, you will become an activist for the rest of us.

Good luck to you Haw'nCarl. Thank you for bringing light and hope into an otherwise sad and painful place.

Aloha Stormy, :wave:

You're too kind, thank you. No I am not an author...that is apart from the few Healthboard.com jingles that I have written. I do enjoy writing though, and you folks have certainly done an exceptional job of boosting my ego relating to this subject matter. This has sparked an earnest effort on my part to learn more about the writing profession and the many different areas available to practice in. Do you practice writing? Anyway, if I do not get published by next week, well, I’m going to be really really, well, I might, then again, I could…I don’t know, I’ll probably…let me get back to you on this.

I do occasionally write entries into what one might loosely consider a journal, yet I would be the only one that would be able to make any sense of the gibberish. As is the case for you, it also is an outlet for me, just as writing in this community is an outlet times 10. I believe that I have posted this before, and as sad as this commentary is, it is true that this is, and has been for a quite a while now, my only social circle, but it is fulfilling nonetheless. So as long as I can continue to be creatively flamboyant with my edification without offending and or boring anyone, I shall continue.

Carl the pen

P.S. Somebody please give me a pin so I can deflate my head and come back down to reality. ;)

Carl,
You are too funny :D . So dude, how goes it? Now that you have another career to pursue, think you'll still solve all my computer problems ;) .

I started the hydrotherapy. Did you do that treadmill in a tank? That was wild, I felt like I was going to float right off of it. Today I have land based PT. They have a Pilates machine there, and if I'm up to it, I'd like to start working out on that. I have this pesky 10 pounds around my middle that just won't go away. All the inactivity before surgery really took its toll on my figure. I completely tore the ACL ligament in my knee back in February while we were up skiing. So I was in a leg brace for 6 weeks that my back really adored, not. I still have to have surgery on the knee to replace the ACL, but that can wait 'til next year.

Keep up the eloquence.
Big ol' cyber hug,
Julie

Carl,

I have often thought you'd be great at writing children's books. Your creativity and imagination would really serve you well in that area. You have a way of using words to create a visual picture and make your story come alive.

Just a thought!

God bless,
Elaine

PS - it's so good to have you back :)

:wave: Hi Carl,
Your writing makes people smile. :) Infact, I'm a little jealous of your natural gift. I've always wanted to write, and have taken a writing course at home and one course in college. Its not my natural gift, its going to be something I have to learn and practice practice practice. :p

I have a friend whose dad got laid off his job. (this was many years ago)... but he was off for a good year or more, going crazy, driving his wife crazy......lol One day he decided he was going to paint. He picked up a brush and started painting landscape scenes. Mind you he had never painted in his life before this time. His paintings were beautiful. He discovered a gift he never knew he had. He ended up making a living selling his paintings.

Your right Carl, about all the wonderful supportive people here on the board. :angel: Many people that are generous in sharing compassion and encouragement. I just want to want to give everybody a (((((HUG))))) today in whatever kind of situation your facing! I know it gets really tough when your dealing with chronic pain on a daily basis. :angel:

Dear Hannasnana,
That's a great lesson for us all. It's never too late to change the course of your life, or follow your passion! :D

Big hugs back to you, and of course for you too Carl ;)

Julie

Hi Carl--How about a children's book about that ice flow we've talked about. Good to hear from you, and you're sounding much more like your "old self."

Actually, some other folks who used to hang out here (but whom I knew elsewhere) and I have considered a possible book about our experiences. So many of the "back books" (of which there are zillions) are only about how to "get out of it." There's a lot less on what it's like to "go through it" and, in many ways, that's a much more interesting story. But it ain't for children!!!

Standingman

Standinman,
I always enjoy your posts, have I told you that? They're always so succinct, yet injected with feeling! I've read your posts with Carl on "ice flows" I even tried the visualization, must be a guy thing :D .

I think we are all glad Carl's back.

Julie

:wave: Hi Julie,
THANKS for the big hugs back!
The nana

Hey Jennasmom, :wave:
what is your story? How did you injur your back.
nana :)

:cool: Hey where did everybody go? I see some people have a life away from the computer....... :p Seems like I'm the only one hanging out at the board today......its probably cuz I got a million things to do and I'm procrastinating. So, if anybody wants to post, and beat my 3, please do.......I'll be back next week to see who else has been avoiding their work...... :) :dizzy: