First off I would like to say that I do have a problem with health anxiety. So I do know that this could be what is causing me to freak out, but here is my story...

Over the last few days I have gotten some red spots on my legs [which have since went away and were most likely caused by an allergic reaction to something or a new medication I was on]. Well because I have anxiety over my health, I decided to google skin conditions and stumbled across Karposi's Sarcoma [which, mind you...my red spots did NOT look like], which started my anxiety over HIV.

I've been through alot over the last year and a half. I got mono and thought I was going to die [because I over-react when it comes to matters of health] and I have also had numerous CBC's, X-rays, etc, etc over the last few months because I go to the doctor convinced that something is wrong with me and everything keeps on coming back normal. This is the vicious cycle of someone with health anxiety.

This is my past sexual history. I have had 3 partners my whole life [I am 25 years old]. I ALWAYS had protected vaginal intercourse with my first boyfriend of over 2 years. We were both virgins when we stated dating. I did perform unprotected oral sex on him and him on me, but we were both virgins.

My second boyfriend is one only one I worry about. He performed unprotected oral sex on me [which I know is low-risk]. I never performed it on him. We always have protected vaginal intercourse [i.e. he never came inside me ever], except he was inside of me unprotected for about a minute or two ONE time while we were dating. I am worrying about pre-cum here. This exposure was over 2.5 years ago and as far as I know he is happy and healthy. He was no a drug user, nor did he participate in homosexual relations.

I have been dating my current boyfriend for over two years now. He is the one. I am madly in love with him and we are engaged to be married. Me and him are in a monogamous relationship and he is HIV negative. I know this because he got tested right before we met and I saw the results.

I am now sitting here worrying that I may have contracted something from my second boyfriend, even though I was only exposed to his pre-cum for a minute. As far as I know he is HIV negative and has not lived a high-rish lifestyle.

I did read some statistics on the body which said that UNPROTECTED vaginal intercourse with an infected partner is a 0.08-0.15% risk if he ejaculates in you. My ex did not ejaculate in me, like I said, I was only exposed to pre-cum which is a lower risk I assume.

I have never participated in risky sexual relations with any others. I have never had casual sex, one night stand, etc.

I know I am answering alot of my questions here on my own, but based off what I have told you all, do you think I am going a paranoid moron? Please tell me how silly I am being. I need someone to talk to down right now because I am hyping myself up.

I do know that the only way I may get peice of mind if by being tested and I am prepared to do that if this worry takes over enough of me.

Thanks for listening to my irrationality today! hehe.

-Chelle

PS: I realized that I worded things weird up there. Me and my second boyfriend always used condoms. Only once was he inside of me unprotected for a minute or two without a condom on. There wasn't much movement going on. We stopped and got a condom because we we didn't want anything to happen [pregnancy, etc]. I am basically worried about my exposure to his pre-cum here for the minute or two he was inside of me unprotected.

Just to clarify things.

This might sound mean, but instead of worrying about it, get tested. I doubt you have HIV.

Juan -

You do not sound mean at ALL. I do know that the only way my irrational mind will be calmed is by just going and getting tested. I am most likely panicing about nothing.

It just helps for me to write things all out and for others to tell me that I am being paranoid.

-Chelle

Chelle - :) Hang in there.

I'm sorry you're feeling so worried. It sounds extremely, extremely UNlikely that you have HIV. Perhaps having the test is the only way to put your mind at rest. I think this fear is tied in with your health anxiety - perhaps that is what you need some help with?

I had mono when I was younger. It can make you feel lousy for a long time - you can feel tired, sore throats, achy etc. So bear in mind that you may feel unwell for while due to that.

As for the red spots, why not check out what they are with your doctor? Could be an allergy.

Thank you for responding Theacat.

As for the red spots, well they are now gone AND my mom gets the same thing and I know she doesnt have HIV. I believe it is caused from an allergin. I do use too much detergent when I wash sometimes. If it comes back and PERSISTS, I will ask my doctor.

As for the mono, I had it last August. I don't have ANY swollen lymph nodes and I don't have problems with sore throats. Most of my physical ailments that I have went to the doctor for over the last year have all been anxiety related, i.e. racing heart, can't breath, etc. They have all been things caused by my anxiety.

I am taking the steps to help with my health anxiety. I am on anxiety medication and I go see a Cognitive Behavorial Therapist to help retrain the negative thoughts I get about health.

I do know that my one time exposure was basically low-risk and I do believe that I will ask for HIV test when I go at the end of the month for my doctors appointment.

I just need to keep my paranoia in check till the meantime!

Once again, thanks for your reponse!

-Chelle

Chelle -

Wow. It's nice to know I'm not alone. Although I don't worry about HIV anymore (Though I didn have a previous scare) - I am basically OCD over my health. I turn up at the doctors at least once a week and have completely irrational fears that I have a heart condition, even though I'm only 21.

Its mainly anxiety driven and OCD. They are health conditions that we suffer from and unfortenately these health conditions manifestate to make us believe we have underlying medical conditions.

Now when I'm having an anxiety attack, You can be the most rational human on earth, offer me all the statistics, and prove to me I'm completely fine and I won't believe you. It's awful.

HIV is extremely hard to contract - Read up more on REMOVED - It's an EXCELLENT Hiv/Aids resource website. Your are at EXTREMELY minimal risk.

Have a test for Peace of mind, but I can reassure you 99.99% that nothing is wrong. It's simply a manifestation of worry that is caused by anxiety.

shals :D

Thanks for your reply Shal. It is nice to know that their are others out there that suffer from health anxiety. Believe me, we are NOT alone. Their are many of us out there.

As for the rest of you....do you think this exposure is something I need to worry about? I was only exposed to his pre-cum [and yes, I do know that HIV has been found in pre-cum and there is a risk for transmission, even if it isn't as great as a risk as ejaculation], for a minute or two. I also have no reason to believe he is HIV positive.

Either way, I go to the Gyno on Monday and I am going to have her test me. I am NOT going to walk around and let his ruin me. No. No. No.

-Chelle

Well done for deciding to have the test - it really is the only way forward to get rid of these thoughts.

From the experiences you describe, I really don't think you have anything to worry about but taking into account your previous anxiety problems it will be better for you to have the test and then you will know 100%.

Personally, I believe that as humans we have a natural reaction to think that something bad is going to happen to spoil things just when we are feeling really happy and contented with our lives.

Try not to worry too much and stick with your plan to get tested on Monday - Good Luck.

Thanks for your reply victoria!

I am sticking with my plan to get tested on Monday. I already had an appt. with the Gyno for Monday, so I am just going to have her run the test for ALL STD's [including HIV]. This is the only way I will be able to get these irrational worries out of my head.

Its funny how health anxiety works. I did not think once about getting HIV [after my one time exposure to my ex's pre-cum] and over two years later, I am thinking about. People with HA always need a health worry to focus on and mine has become HIV. I will NOT let this over take me.

Now comes the hard part...waiting for the test results once I get the test done on Monday. I hate the wait. I hope it's not as long as two weeks. I don't want to walk around with this for much longer.

-Chelle

I would jsut go out and say that you do not have HIV. YOu have had protected sex all the time...a few minute exposure from someone who is very unlikely to be infected is just silly to think you contracted it. I know it is hard not too worry about because it is a deadly virus..but you should feel good about yourself for being so responsible...I wish I could say the same..I am still in my window period for several acts of unprotected sex with a girl of unknown history. I feel really stupid about it...I too have only been with three people sexually and have always worn condoms...I slipped up this summer.

Thanks for replying McGunter.

Yes, I do know I am being OVERLY paranoid. However, I was exposed to his pre-cum and even though I know the risks are low for a one-time exposure to someones pre-cum [esp. when I believe that person to be HIV-], there IS still a risk there. I don't care how small the risk is. I know me and I know that I will NOT be able to let this one go if I just don't go and get tested.

I can't wait till Monday when I get tested. It's just going to kill me to have to wait the week or two to get the results.

I wish you the best of luck, although I think you will be OK. As a man and the insertive partner, the odds are even MORE in your favor that you will be Negative.

I will be sending you positive vibes so you can get through this "window period" and the testing process with ease!

Take Care,
-Chelle