Hello everyone!

I must say I'm so relieved to have found this board. I really didn't know it existed!

I'm a binge eater and I want to stop. The problem is I give up on myself very easily. I can go a few days without bingeing but then, when it gets hard, when the slightest uncomfortable feeling creeps up--I lose my nerve and begin to binge. It starts with a chocolate bar then escalates to an all day binge, which then turns into an all week binge. Over and over again, week after week. I feel exhausted just thinking about it!

I've been seeing a therapist for over three years now. Haven't made much progress and I'm beginning to feel I'm being taken advantage of by my shrink. I've discussed my concerns with her but nothing has changed. I've stopped seeing her and now I just don't want it anymore. I'm taking a break.

I just want to cope with my feelings!!! Why is a feeling or an emotion so scary to me? They are MY own feelings, they cannot hurt me physically...why won't I just acknowledge them?! I'm frustrated. Know what I mean?

I just want to cope with my feelings!!! Why is a feeling or an emotion so scary to me? They are MY own feelings, they cannot hurt me physically...why won't I just acknowledge them?! I'm frustrated. Know what I mean?

Hi Bubbba1
I can totally understand the wanting to cope with your feelings. I feel the same way. My therapist is really cool. She keeps saying that it's that I "won't" and not that I "can't"...which is what I keep saying. The thing is she's right. But at the same time I'm not sure how to stop completely. I feel really scared about emotions too. I completely hear you on that one. Why are we so scared of our emotions?? I mean, you're right they can't physically hurt us. Maybe it's the fear of how they can hurt us and that it might be worse than physical? I also can relate to the wanting to acknowledge them. I keep saying I want to deal with them so I can make this go away but then I just keep on doing what I'm doing. It sounds like we're kind of on the same page in these respects. I know we do two different things (you sound like you binge and I just don't eat) but in the end it's all the same. A bunch of mixed up emotions that have been caught up in this thing we think we can control called food. Well, I'm glad you found the board and welcome. You'll find a lot of great support and people here.

Lauren

Bubba,

We are so glad you joined this group.

As far as your thoughts and feelings go, they are completely normal with an ED (eating disorder); I can only tell you that we've all been there and some of us are still struggling with our thoughts and feelings re: food and our body.

I would urge you to please give your therapist another shot. Or, if you really do not like her, think about going to a different therapist. None of can beat this on our own willpower--we all need help to get through it, whether that be professionally, or spiritually, or both.

I empathize with your frustration, I really do. Feelings can be a very scary thing when we feel we have no control over them, but acknowledging them is the first step to recovery.
Please don't be scared to tell us how you feel. This is the reason for the board.

You are in my prayers,

MG

Welcome to the Boards Bubba!

You will find a lot of support here from some incredibly wise women.

I agree with MistiGrace, you can't do this on your own. In my own experience I went through 3 therapists before I found the 4th one who helped save my life. It may be time for you to look for a new one.

Take care of yourself!

Thank you all so much for responding so quickly. I really appreciate your insight.

I read somewhere that most people would rather run away than face their own feelings. Odd really if you think about it. Who ever thought that a feeling could be so scary?

You know what? It's not what people might say about me or to me, it's not even an event that affects me so tremendously. It's my own thoughts. I could be having a conscious day and all of a sudden, out of nowhere this thought enters my mind. And in a matter of seconds, I'm up from my desk and in the lunch room looking for a Kit Kat bar.

Gees!