[color=blue]hi I'm new to this board. my name is Jacquie, I'm obese, my BMI was 30-something, I can't remenber, I also can not spell, so hang in there with me.

anyways my story. At one point I went to china, and I lived with 11 thin girls, and I lost alot of weight just being around them.

now when I grew up my family would make spaghetti often. One massive plate was okay, but 2 was great, everyone would alwasy wow you, and 3 OMG that was GREAT.

in china it was the oppsite, everyone would wow the girl who didn't stuff herself. and they looked at my plate and made me feel bad. and they were very blunt, lol I would say "I'm fat" and they would say "yes you are fat" not "oh no your not..." I hate that lie.

I was geting so messed up over this. Freaking out. one plate for these girls was massive, half a plate was good, less then that was even better. thay ate so healthy is made me sick, they ate whole cucombers in dip as their midnight snack. (it was good) but it was WRONG, you are to eat greasy chips and cookies, well whatever is easy to grab form the fridge.

I started counting their callories, and one girl was eating maybe 500 calories A DAY! to me that was anerexic and I didn't know what to do. I was very frustrated. They would watch everything I ate! if I ate the same as them, they would say "you eat to little" and I was like "what the HELL I eat more then you! (she missed me binge in the bedroom) so I had to eat more infront of them to prove I wan't anerxic.

one good thing that happend in all this was, I rollerbladed/walked everywhere because I was not getting in a taxi alone in China, and I bosted my matablism so much. that when I came home and went back to my regular activities of nothing and binging everyday we are talking 7000 calories maybe more for someone short like me. it took me a year to gain a pound. so China really helped.

anyways after one year of being over weight not obease, I started gaining again, and fast, and the first thing I thought is *oh my god I'm going to be worse off then i was in the first place* you know how that happens you gain back more then you lost. so I can't go back in to that again.

I'm looking over my life, what I tried, what worked, what hasn't worked. pills gimicks haven't worked. people being nice and telling me I'm not fat, hasn't worked. exercizing for one year, sped up my motablisim for one year. (I'm not saying exercize for one year, and take a brake, because in one year I only got to "over weight", not to the "normal" range.

now I will talk about the positive things about china. You really do blend in to your enviorment. I mean first I was shocked at everything, this place was not my home. then I adjusted. I didn't adjust to the weight thing, I still thought they were anerxics when I left. Now I'm home and I work in a ESL school so I work with Asians and they are all simular sizes. I realize I was over reacting in china, they just I have a problem/issues they have problems and issues, so we couldn't help eachother, it was just making things worse. now the girls in the ESL school, they all have nice skin and nice hands and strong beautiful nails, wile I am defently melnurshiousd and retain water, and lack calcium, ect.

when I take the train to work one stop, a japanese co-worker was always power walking to work. was she power walking or is she just really fast? so I started walking with her, and I'm feeling a difference. we would talk out of breath, and she would sometimes tell me to slow down, but I couldn't I enjoyed it so much. its not like going to the jym and working out becasue you HAVE TO and I think she enjoyed it to, so its like we are motivating eachother.

I realized in China, I worked with a bunch of young girls who were very intrested in their looks and weight, they watched eachother to make sure they were not anerxic, some times they were very close to slipping. one girl was ana and she bothered me, they made me feel frustrated becasue they were trying to help me when there was a girl sitting there in skin a bones, but what they didn't realize is I am a growen up and I'm not doing this for looks, my massive food intake lessened becasue I need it, wile skin and bones came in this way, I guess you are to stay the way you came in LOL, change must not be good. I'm doing it for health, and losing weight is good for me, not bad. I was short and I ate the same as the short girls there but the tall 5 foot girls would eat less then the short girls.

anywas, I learnt hanging with obease people is frustrating, they way they eat to much and tell you not to eat like them, but then eat this good food in front of you, you just have to have a bite :) they try to help you, but they can do it their self, so yeah their help is alot of good. and hanging out with ana's is not good, as they tell you to eat more, when thats all you need, saying "I'm fat" they both have their problems. but now I am hanging outwith healthy people, and trying to eat the same as them, they have the health I want, not to thin, not to fat, what the body was ment to be, what is considered right. and one thing I discovered when I eat with them I eat slower.
-okay that is enough, I could go on, bit I wont. lol

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