armadillo pie
09-14-2004, 01:22 PM
I always told myself that when I reached this time of my life I was going to gracefully sail through it. I have spent years eating well, execising, developing a spiritual life, and taking fairly good care of myself. But now that I am here- it seems quite the contrary. I feel like I am up and down daily, I feel so unattractive, bloated, non sexual, and generally tired. I put out a good front at work and in the public but internally I feel so awkward and not myself most of the time. I live in a big city that values youth and beauty and before I never paid attention to it or when I did I had a good sense of myself and felt smart, attractive, vibrant, and in good shape. These days I feel like my brain has strunk and I do not want to take on to much. My ambition has ceased and I have few goals right now. I also know that this will pass sometime in the future- could be years from now depending on how long this peri-menopause- menopuase syslve lasts but in the meantime, the now is all that matters.
I continue to take care of myself, exercising, having friends, a spiritual foundation and therapy, but I feel so unmotivated . So please share you self and if anyone has any tips, I know we would all welcome them.
I continue to take care of myself, exercising, having friends, a spiritual foundation and therapy, but I feel so unmotivated . So please share you self and if anyone has any tips, I know we would all welcome them.
Sponsor
molly123
09-14-2004, 07:57 PM
ArmadilloPie,
You sound a bit depressed and just plain down in the dumps - which is OK! I am sure many, if not all of us, have felt/feel the same way one time or another. I try to look at the good things in life, be grateful. I am so grateful that I have family, friends, my dog, don't have any life threatening diseases, able to walk, see/hear, have a job, a home, a computer, and be able afford the little luxuries of life (vits and more vits! LOL!) I tell myself there are a lot of people worse off! Lots of people, young and old, with serious illness, no family, no friends, homeless, jobless, clueless....
The way you have taken care of yourself, I'm sure you're very attractive - you just feel you're not..probably being a bit hard on yourself! Also, I'm sure you know that what's inside counts the more and think of all your experiences and acquired knowledge - they all count a heck of alot more than just looking good. Yes, there is a lot of emphasis put on beauty and youth these days! But, you know, I wouldn't want to be in those people's place if you paid me...must be hard work to have to look good every minute, to keep up an image, to be so concerned what others think of you, and never really get to enjoy life and EAT! LOL!
You're just going thru a phase right now and things will pass and I bet you will feel like your old self again and your self-esteem and confidence will come back! You said you feel up and down - so it isn't all the time! This whole meno stuff have a tendency to put many of us in this depressed mood - mostly b/c we're tired of feeling bad and weird, therefore, you feel unmotivated, unattractive, etc. etc. Pat yourself on the back, you are taking care of yourself, exercising, have friends, doing the best you can...
P.S. Go and have some beer & french fries! May I put a smile on your face! ;)
molly
I always told myself that when I reached this time of my life I was going to gracefully sail through it. I have spent years eating well, execising, developing a spiritual life, and taking fairly good care of myself. But now that I am here- it seems quite the contrary. I feel like I am up and down daily, I feel so unattractive, bloated, non sexual, and generally tired. I put out a good front at work and in the public but internally I feel so awkward and not myself most of the time. I live in a big city that values youth and beauty and before I never paid attention to it or when I did I had a good sense of myself and felt smart, attractive, vibrant, and in good shape. These days I feel like my brain has strunk and I do not want to take on to much. My ambition has ceased and I have few goals right now. I also know that this will pass sometime in the future- could be years from now depending on how long this peri-menopause- menopuase syslve lasts but in the meantime, the now is all that matters.
I continue to take care of myself, exercising, having friends, a spiritual foundation and therapy, but I feel so unmotivated . So please share you self and if anyone has any tips, I know we would all welcome them.
You sound a bit depressed and just plain down in the dumps - which is OK! I am sure many, if not all of us, have felt/feel the same way one time or another. I try to look at the good things in life, be grateful. I am so grateful that I have family, friends, my dog, don't have any life threatening diseases, able to walk, see/hear, have a job, a home, a computer, and be able afford the little luxuries of life (vits and more vits! LOL!) I tell myself there are a lot of people worse off! Lots of people, young and old, with serious illness, no family, no friends, homeless, jobless, clueless....
The way you have taken care of yourself, I'm sure you're very attractive - you just feel you're not..probably being a bit hard on yourself! Also, I'm sure you know that what's inside counts the more and think of all your experiences and acquired knowledge - they all count a heck of alot more than just looking good. Yes, there is a lot of emphasis put on beauty and youth these days! But, you know, I wouldn't want to be in those people's place if you paid me...must be hard work to have to look good every minute, to keep up an image, to be so concerned what others think of you, and never really get to enjoy life and EAT! LOL!
You're just going thru a phase right now and things will pass and I bet you will feel like your old self again and your self-esteem and confidence will come back! You said you feel up and down - so it isn't all the time! This whole meno stuff have a tendency to put many of us in this depressed mood - mostly b/c we're tired of feeling bad and weird, therefore, you feel unmotivated, unattractive, etc. etc. Pat yourself on the back, you are taking care of yourself, exercising, have friends, doing the best you can...
P.S. Go and have some beer & french fries! May I put a smile on your face! ;)
molly
I always told myself that when I reached this time of my life I was going to gracefully sail through it. I have spent years eating well, execising, developing a spiritual life, and taking fairly good care of myself. But now that I am here- it seems quite the contrary. I feel like I am up and down daily, I feel so unattractive, bloated, non sexual, and generally tired. I put out a good front at work and in the public but internally I feel so awkward and not myself most of the time. I live in a big city that values youth and beauty and before I never paid attention to it or when I did I had a good sense of myself and felt smart, attractive, vibrant, and in good shape. These days I feel like my brain has strunk and I do not want to take on to much. My ambition has ceased and I have few goals right now. I also know that this will pass sometime in the future- could be years from now depending on how long this peri-menopause- menopuase syslve lasts but in the meantime, the now is all that matters.
I continue to take care of myself, exercising, having friends, a spiritual foundation and therapy, but I feel so unmotivated . So please share you self and if anyone has any tips, I know we would all welcome them.
captain14
09-14-2004, 09:32 PM
Hi Molly...wonderful reply. You put everything in perspective. Thanks for the wise words even though I did not write the post.
Ruth6:11
09-14-2004, 09:53 PM
Boy do I know how you feel. I spent years asking myself why these women don't realize that "menopause is a phase of life, not a disease" for heaven's sake...
Ha! Fast forward to me with no learning curve or concentration, short term blues, power surges then hot flashes, dry all over including my eyeballs, more PMS mood swings in 1 yr than I'd ever had in my life, anxiety attacks, you name it.
Needless to say I am eating my words and now sound just like those women did so many years ago....
Life has a way of teaching you the easy way or the hard way, huh???
Hang in there - I figure in another year or two I might be human!
:angel:
Ha! Fast forward to me with no learning curve or concentration, short term blues, power surges then hot flashes, dry all over including my eyeballs, more PMS mood swings in 1 yr than I'd ever had in my life, anxiety attacks, you name it.
Needless to say I am eating my words and now sound just like those women did so many years ago....
Life has a way of teaching you the easy way or the hard way, huh???
Hang in there - I figure in another year or two I might be human!
:angel:
hannasnana
09-15-2004, 01:44 AM
I've joined those ranks too Armadillo pie, UGH :rolleyes:
You've done a wonderful job taking care of yourself!!! You would be in worse condition now if you hadn't. You would be like me trying to catch up and take care now so I can cope with menapause and life at 50.... :p
I think the problem is your hormone levels. If I don't take my estrogen everyday I start to feel BLA....... :yawn: Its very subtle.......My perspective beings to change about things.....I start sighing.....my chest feels heavy......and if I go too many days without estrogen, I start crying during the day at every little thing and I get so depressed. If I take my estrogen everyday I don't get to that point. I have to make myself do things I use to have no problem doing. I use to love to exercise and walk.... I have always loved doing that. But, this year, I can't seem to get in the groove. I did join an exercise program and make myself go, cuz my body needs it.....I find it helps my mental state too.
Do you eat any soy? You might try soy milk, soy nuts, some of the soy supplements and just see if you feel a change. Also, if you still have your uterus and ovaries you may need progesterone. There are many different natural progesterone products on the market. Progesterone helps some ladies with irritability, hot flashes, depression.....excessive bleeding. You have to read some of the books on peri-menapause and menapause and see what works for you.
I'm with you girl........... :)
nana
You've done a wonderful job taking care of yourself!!! You would be in worse condition now if you hadn't. You would be like me trying to catch up and take care now so I can cope with menapause and life at 50.... :p
I think the problem is your hormone levels. If I don't take my estrogen everyday I start to feel BLA....... :yawn: Its very subtle.......My perspective beings to change about things.....I start sighing.....my chest feels heavy......and if I go too many days without estrogen, I start crying during the day at every little thing and I get so depressed. If I take my estrogen everyday I don't get to that point. I have to make myself do things I use to have no problem doing. I use to love to exercise and walk.... I have always loved doing that. But, this year, I can't seem to get in the groove. I did join an exercise program and make myself go, cuz my body needs it.....I find it helps my mental state too.
Do you eat any soy? You might try soy milk, soy nuts, some of the soy supplements and just see if you feel a change. Also, if you still have your uterus and ovaries you may need progesterone. There are many different natural progesterone products on the market. Progesterone helps some ladies with irritability, hot flashes, depression.....excessive bleeding. You have to read some of the books on peri-menapause and menapause and see what works for you.
I'm with you girl........... :)
nana
twanger
09-15-2004, 11:54 AM
I know exactly how you feel. You just described me. I was the one who said I could make it through meno naturally. I exercised, walked four miles a day, went back to college and competed with the youngsters for grades( a got them), looked about 15 years younger than I was ( I was 53). Now four years later, I feel like I can't think straight, I look old and feel old.
joyka
09-16-2004, 03:57 PM
Now I know why they call it the "change." Your body, mind and moods change. How you see everything changes; how everyone sees you changes (you start to become invisible). Its interesting. I have always taken very good care of myself and intend to keep doing so. I look at other women who are 10 years older than me and try to find
characteristics that I want in 10 years. (We did this when we were 12 so why not now?) What kind of older woman do I want to be? Model other women. We all pull each other along don't we? Haven't we always?
characteristics that I want in 10 years. (We did this when we were 12 so why not now?) What kind of older woman do I want to be? Model other women. We all pull each other along don't we? Haven't we always?
hannasnana
09-16-2004, 07:18 PM
Well Joyka, :wave:
The first older mentors I think of are actresses and singers, which is not really fair because they all have tummy tucks, face lifts, physical fitness trainers..........etc......... :p
Course I think Ophra looks great right now! Its at this point, when my face needs a lift, and my body could use a tuck here and there, I would like some of those actresses money. Now I'm thinking like a material girl, and left out all the things that go with age like, "wisdom", being a "seasoned" mom, grandmother, wife, friend. (I know there is more, somebody help me out ;) )
Today there is so much attention put on youth and looks. What is important to me is being in good health, family, and liking the woman I have turned out to be at my age. :cool: I can actually say that if I died today, that I would have no regrets. I'm rambling...........(sign of old age....ha ha ha)
The first older mentors I think of are actresses and singers, which is not really fair because they all have tummy tucks, face lifts, physical fitness trainers..........etc......... :p
Course I think Ophra looks great right now! Its at this point, when my face needs a lift, and my body could use a tuck here and there, I would like some of those actresses money. Now I'm thinking like a material girl, and left out all the things that go with age like, "wisdom", being a "seasoned" mom, grandmother, wife, friend. (I know there is more, somebody help me out ;) )
Today there is so much attention put on youth and looks. What is important to me is being in good health, family, and liking the woman I have turned out to be at my age. :cool: I can actually say that if I died today, that I would have no regrets. I'm rambling...........(sign of old age....ha ha ha)
armadillo pie
09-16-2004, 10:52 PM
My hormones definitely tweak my whole perception of myself, inner and outer. And like my hormones I am always on a roller coaster ride. Some days are better then others. I can wake up one day and feel great, look great, and am so grateful. The next day I wake up feeling lousy, tire, unmotivated, the clothes I wore that looked great the day before now don't fit right anymore, and I forget all about gratitude.
I am not depressed, but I am going through a time in my life where all perceptions seem be changing and all that I thought I knew I really didn't!
I too fine myself looking at women older then me and finding the qualities in them I would like to emulate as I get older. It is hard letting go of the youth driven part of me, epecially living in Los Angeles!!!!! Wow, being here brings on all kinds of lessons in humanity and what is real.
Anyway, it is nice to hear that I am not alone and others are kindrid souls on this journey as well.
I am not depressed, but I am going through a time in my life where all perceptions seem be changing and all that I thought I knew I really didn't!
I too fine myself looking at women older then me and finding the qualities in them I would like to emulate as I get older. It is hard letting go of the youth driven part of me, epecially living in Los Angeles!!!!! Wow, being here brings on all kinds of lessons in humanity and what is real.
Anyway, it is nice to hear that I am not alone and others are kindrid souls on this journey as well.
Mrs.
09-16-2004, 11:07 PM
I'm not a doctor, I'm not going through menopause, but I work with women every day who have turned to hormone replacement therapies to treat their menopause symptoms. The women I work with have had breast cancer, when biopsied was Estrogen Receptor and Progesterone Receptor Positive. These are two hormones found commonly in drugs prescribed to women who have had hysterectomies or are perimenopausal or menopausal. The moment their doctors diagnosed them with cancer, they ceased HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy), for a reason, the combination of Estrogen and Progesterone when used for an extended period of time, (that time has not been determined, but that is the wording the FDA approved), it causes cancer, and when precancerous cells exist, it helps it grow. Please seek alternative treatments before turning to HRTs. - I still can't talk because it's not me going through it, but I hear these women's stories every day.