SheRa
09-17-2004, 03:02 PM
Anyone have teenagers that are HFA? My son wants to fit in really bad to the other teenagers around him. He is dressing like them and mimics phrases that he hears. Some if it's pretty funny but kind of offensive. I guess his newest thing is "Pimp" everything. One of his friends (also has issues) told him he was a "Pimp daddy". I think pimp must mean something completely different than it used to. Now he is saying pimp everything. He wants some pimp food and going to the pimp store and it's time to go to his pimp bed. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. LOL (chosing to laugh). :bouncing:
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suzann61
09-21-2004, 11:33 AM
Hi...
See if your sons campus has a special ed. counselor. If so maybe you can work out something (through an IEP meeting) Social Skills. Speech pathologist can probably help in this area also. Small group of kids... role playing whats appropiate and whats not etc....
Just a suggestion....
Suzann
I have twin boys age 14 with autism.
See if your sons campus has a special ed. counselor. If so maybe you can work out something (through an IEP meeting) Social Skills. Speech pathologist can probably help in this area also. Small group of kids... role playing whats appropiate and whats not etc....
Just a suggestion....
Suzann
I have twin boys age 14 with autism.
SheRa
09-21-2004, 12:53 PM
PS His aide told him she knows it sucks not to be able to write down what you want to. Isn't the word "sucks" inappropriate? ROFLMAO I just get so tired of it all sometimes. I even wrote that to her in the note she wrote to me.
Pimpin actually means anymore "cool". I looked it up under American slang. LOL He did get talked to at school for saying it so maybe it is a problem. I get really really tired of hearing the word "inappropriate". (not meaning you).
Do you know how I got to hear about it this time? He wrote in his notebook that he was a "pimpin player". Now in my day (day of the dinosaurs) I could write down anything I wanted in my notebook and no one would be the wiser. Because he has special needs he is watched like a hawk to make sure he doesn't step out of bounds. I'd feel like a prisoner. It makes me sad sometimes. I'm glad they watch out for him but he can't even do things the other kids do (I know they say worse) out of fear of being inappropriate. Why do the special needs kids have to be perfect?
See they didn't even know what that means and just decided that it's inappropriate. (I'm sorry not meaning to take it out on you I mean the school people and I just sick of the plastic bubble thing). My kid is one of the nicest most considerate people I know and I wish they'd say more what he does right and quit worrying so much about the little things he does wrong.
Pimpin actually means anymore "cool". I looked it up under American slang. LOL He did get talked to at school for saying it so maybe it is a problem. I get really really tired of hearing the word "inappropriate". (not meaning you).
Do you know how I got to hear about it this time? He wrote in his notebook that he was a "pimpin player". Now in my day (day of the dinosaurs) I could write down anything I wanted in my notebook and no one would be the wiser. Because he has special needs he is watched like a hawk to make sure he doesn't step out of bounds. I'd feel like a prisoner. It makes me sad sometimes. I'm glad they watch out for him but he can't even do things the other kids do (I know they say worse) out of fear of being inappropriate. Why do the special needs kids have to be perfect?
See they didn't even know what that means and just decided that it's inappropriate. (I'm sorry not meaning to take it out on you I mean the school people and I just sick of the plastic bubble thing). My kid is one of the nicest most considerate people I know and I wish they'd say more what he does right and quit worrying so much about the little things he does wrong.
lillypad
09-23-2004, 04:18 PM
great point - sucks is "inappropriate" from the aide- one that my Mom nearly fainted her sweet southern heart over!
Reading his notebook is a violation of his privacy. His notebook is His notebook, keep out! I would make that perfectly clear. Would that person let you read her diary? This one make me so mad I could scream!
Next month there will be another word or two - most likely another that doesn't meet with their approval! Maybe the staff needs to take the pulse of the conversation style of the general student population and see what's going on!
He is trying to belong, typical! Part of being a kid - any kid - is being a kid! End of story!
I would ask the teachers - what did he do well today? Let's concentrate on the good, the progress, the completed assignments. Have the talk with him about how some people don't like slang, maybe it would make (list people) if you didn't say pimp around them because it makes them uncomfortable. Offer him another "cool" word to use. Don't know your guy, but it might help him to begin to make distinctions.
As parents we all need to monitor our kids and keep them from social suicide, but this seems more staff oriented and maybe easier to contain! Maybe?
Reading his notebook is a violation of his privacy. His notebook is His notebook, keep out! I would make that perfectly clear. Would that person let you read her diary? This one make me so mad I could scream!
Next month there will be another word or two - most likely another that doesn't meet with their approval! Maybe the staff needs to take the pulse of the conversation style of the general student population and see what's going on!
He is trying to belong, typical! Part of being a kid - any kid - is being a kid! End of story!
I would ask the teachers - what did he do well today? Let's concentrate on the good, the progress, the completed assignments. Have the talk with him about how some people don't like slang, maybe it would make (list people) if you didn't say pimp around them because it makes them uncomfortable. Offer him another "cool" word to use. Don't know your guy, but it might help him to begin to make distinctions.
As parents we all need to monitor our kids and keep them from social suicide, but this seems more staff oriented and maybe easier to contain! Maybe?
happyhelper
09-24-2004, 01:51 AM
In the aid's defense, if she wants to get to your son's level, she has to speak to him in a way that lets him know that she isn't "talking down to him" as an adult, and that she is on his side, in a way. It's very important, especially for special needs kids to be spoken to in a way that they don't feel inferior. This isn't saying that she should start saying "pimp" and whatever else. She just didn't see "sucks" as a bad thing. I wouldn't worry... she sounds like a good person for your son to talk to. Good luck! This also might just be a phase... hopefully it won't last long!
SheRa
09-24-2004, 10:04 AM
Actually she probably wasn't thinking about "sucks" being inappropriate and you are right she probably is trying to relate to him. I was kind of kidding/kind of not kidding when I wrote that to her to show her that most of us use slang and don't realize it. She probably shouldn't say "sucks" though of she is wanting him not to talk inappropriately (ugh). LOL That's the way he is picking up all this slang. From his friends especially and from TV.
In the aid's defense, if she wants to get to your son's level, she has to speak to him in a way that lets him know that she isn't "talking down to him" as an adult, and that she is on his side, in a way. It's very important, especially for special needs kids to be spoken to in a way that they don't feel inferior. This isn't saying that she should start saying "pimp" and whatever else. She just didn't see "sucks" as a bad thing. I wouldn't worry... she sounds like a good person for your son to talk to. Good luck! This also might just be a phase... hopefully it won't last long!
In the aid's defense, if she wants to get to your son's level, she has to speak to him in a way that lets him know that she isn't "talking down to him" as an adult, and that she is on his side, in a way. It's very important, especially for special needs kids to be spoken to in a way that they don't feel inferior. This isn't saying that she should start saying "pimp" and whatever else. She just didn't see "sucks" as a bad thing. I wouldn't worry... she sounds like a good person for your son to talk to. Good luck! This also might just be a phase... hopefully it won't last long!
SheRa
09-24-2004, 10:12 AM
The whole problem really is I guess that on the one hand he has an aide to make sure he can keep focusing on his work and keep working. So he IS watched all the time. So in their trying to help him it's probably difficult to give him the space he needs.
I have really BEEN working on the what did he do well thing also. They are FINALLY coming around to that one. I was actually getting depressed because all I was hearing were the bad stuff. I finally wrote to her and said does he EVER do anything GOOD? I think she finally got the hint.
I also agree he should watch the slang and what he says especially in front of other people and also like you say he is trying to be like the other kids. He is just more obvious. LOL
I had the talk with my husband and I think every generation has their own slang. He thinks this generations slang is so terrible. It's like adults can't remember the own stuff they said their own music the adults hated. I told him teens pick language and music that we hate! It's their job! They've always done it. His Dad hated his hair, his music. etc. etc. etc. It's nothing new! That's why I try to not make it such a big deal. :bouncing: (we used to say sucks, bites, or blows) come to think of it that does sound pretty nasty! LOL
great point - sucks is "inappropriate" from the aide- one that my Mom nearly fainted her sweet southern heart over!
Reading his notebook is a violation of his privacy. His notebook is His notebook, keep out! I would make that perfectly clear. Would that person let you read her diary? This one make me so mad I could scream!
Next month there will be another word or two - most likely another that doesn't meet with their approval! Maybe the staff needs to take the pulse of the conversation style of the general student population and see what's going on!
He is trying to belong, typical! Part of being a kid - any kid - is being a kid! End of story!
I would ask the teachers - what did he do well today? Let's concentrate on the good, the progress, the completed assignments. Have the talk with him about how some people don't like slang, maybe it would make (list people) if you didn't say pimp around them because it makes them uncomfortable. Offer him another "cool" word to use. Don't know your guy, but it might help him to begin to make distinctions.
As parents we all need to monitor our kids and keep them from social suicide, but this seems more staff oriented and maybe easier to contain! Maybe?
I have really BEEN working on the what did he do well thing also. They are FINALLY coming around to that one. I was actually getting depressed because all I was hearing were the bad stuff. I finally wrote to her and said does he EVER do anything GOOD? I think she finally got the hint.
I also agree he should watch the slang and what he says especially in front of other people and also like you say he is trying to be like the other kids. He is just more obvious. LOL
I had the talk with my husband and I think every generation has their own slang. He thinks this generations slang is so terrible. It's like adults can't remember the own stuff they said their own music the adults hated. I told him teens pick language and music that we hate! It's their job! They've always done it. His Dad hated his hair, his music. etc. etc. etc. It's nothing new! That's why I try to not make it such a big deal. :bouncing: (we used to say sucks, bites, or blows) come to think of it that does sound pretty nasty! LOL
great point - sucks is "inappropriate" from the aide- one that my Mom nearly fainted her sweet southern heart over!
Reading his notebook is a violation of his privacy. His notebook is His notebook, keep out! I would make that perfectly clear. Would that person let you read her diary? This one make me so mad I could scream!
Next month there will be another word or two - most likely another that doesn't meet with their approval! Maybe the staff needs to take the pulse of the conversation style of the general student population and see what's going on!
He is trying to belong, typical! Part of being a kid - any kid - is being a kid! End of story!
I would ask the teachers - what did he do well today? Let's concentrate on the good, the progress, the completed assignments. Have the talk with him about how some people don't like slang, maybe it would make (list people) if you didn't say pimp around them because it makes them uncomfortable. Offer him another "cool" word to use. Don't know your guy, but it might help him to begin to make distinctions.
As parents we all need to monitor our kids and keep them from social suicide, but this seems more staff oriented and maybe easier to contain! Maybe?