my dad weighed me like two weeks ago and i weighed 100 flat. then he weighed by on thurs and i weighed 97 lbs. he said if i didnt get to 100 lbs by friday i couldnt do anything this weekend. so this morning in the car he was like did u weigh? i said no and that i would weigh after school. he said NO , u HAD to weigh this morning. im not gonna be there tonight, and i said u didnt tell me. and he was like THIS IS UR RESPONSABLITY! so now i cant do anything. he says hell take away everything until all i can do is sit there. every dad he yells at me, saying im runing the family. and that im not in control of this, or what i eat. and that hell shove food down my throat, and that he calls the shots. is ANY of this normal? im not diagnosed with anorexia yet, but my thearpist says im almost there
im 5'4 btw please anythign helps

Hi there. Well I'm not a doctor or a nutritionist but I've got food issues. You may not be dx'd but it does sound like you're on the road to an ED if you don't have one already. You need to find someone to talk to. And it sounds like your dad IS NOT the one. You need to talk to someone that will be supportive, non-threatening and help you get the help you need. Your dad seems to be taking out his anger and frustration about your issue on you in an abusive way that is only going to push you further over the edge. Or I would say push you away. The more he tries to control, the more you are going to want to get control, which is often why we deal with ED's. It's a control thing a lot of the time. So if he takes away your control by taking things away, "shoving food down your throat", etc. that's just going to make it worse. I'm sorry if I'm making your dad out to be a jerk. That's not my intention. I just know that getting that kind of stuff thrown at me only makes things worse and makes me feel worse about myself. It doesn't help at all.
So see if there is someone you can talk to. If you have a therapist, a teacher, a friend, another family member. Someone to help guide you in the right direction.

Lauren

hey. yeah he is a jerk i will admit that. i see my thearpist twice a week. she is helping me with my eating disorder. i dont know how to tell him what he is doing is wrong, i have tried. and he gets more and more mad!

I wouldnt say your dad is a jerk, or abusive sounding (unless of course he actually DOES hit you). This is typical of a parent when their kid is going thru this. It happened with mine, and it is normal. You have an eating disorder. I dont know what your therapist thinks is "missing" but you SHOULD be diagnosed. anorexia isnt based on weight alone, nor should your diagnosis. If youve lost your period, are losing weight at a dangerous weight as is (which you are- way too low), and have issues with eating, you have a problem. You need help. Your parents (or at least your dad) are in the anger stage...they dont know what to do but use their authority to order you to get better. Dont see this as being mean (its hard, but try)..they are just friggin worried. Next will probably come the upset stage, where they may cry (one of the only times ive ever seen my dad cry in my whole life was when i was at my worst), beg, plead, and be withdrawn. It's just as hard for them as things are for you (or will be for you, in recogery). You need help, and please dont turn them away. You SHOULD be diagnosed and should be getting better...

i am no where near being better at this point. but my dad is threatening taking everything away from me. what can i do?

I think you would benefit from your dad gaining more knowledge of eating disorders. He cannot understand, he feels like if you will just eat more and gain some then you will be better. Maybe you could suggest that your therapist talks to your dad, or download him some information to read. Leave it on his desk if you don't want to give it to him yourself. Also maybe you could suggest some family therapy - so that you all get a chance to talk it through in a 'safe' setting. A place where every persons feelings are valid and need to be addressed.
Good Luck sweetie,
Hugs from H xoxo

I agree with Aur...family therapy is great especially when you have a good therapist (but make sure its not the same one youre currently seeing- that would cause very awkward moments sometimes!!).

I know you said that you are "no where near the point of getting better", but to be completely honest, you'll never be. Ok- maybe down the road, 20 years from now (if left alone) you will get sick of counting calories and not eating, etc. Um...20 years? Seems like a lifetime to me. As much as you "aren't ready" you need to push yourself to BE ready. You are wasting your life away- do you really want to remember these years as those spent trying to be thin- instead of those spent with friends, boyfriends, having fun, going out, etc? What you CAN do is talk to your therapist and tell her that you need help. An ED program is your best bet....they wont make you "fat" as many people commonly think. Through therapy and all sorts of other things they will show you how to eat properly and love yoruself. You will be THIN, but healthy! People will be off of your case! Don't you want that? You WILL be in control i promise you, but it will be in a healthy way....you are slowly killing yourself now. Dont wait until its too late....

Good luck!!!!!
XO gg

hey, i'm very sorry to hear that ur dad is being a jerk. my dad is the same way..he has an anger problem. is he taking therapy for his anger?

Again, I dont think your dad is acting out of anger because he has a problem. He's never EVER had to deal with something like this before, so he doesnt know how to go about it....his best bet (in his mind) is to order you around, in hopes that you'll listen....eventually it'll become (like i said before) the begging stage, where he may plead and beg and bribe you to eat. Dont blame him for trying to help in any way he thinks he can...its not that he is a jerk, he is just so so worried and wants to help but doesnt know how....

My friend is 5'9'' and she weighs 100pds. That doesn't sound thin to me. The thing is WHAT are you eating? If your eating healthy and have no body fat then that's not so bad. If your NOT eating at all then that is a problem. Some people who can't handle not having control have a hard time dealing with things such as your father. He loves you so much and probably feels helpless and doesn't know proper etiquette on how to treat you. Try to be understanding to him as well and know he is scared to death for you. Maybe you can involve him more with your eating like planning a meal or asking him to fix you something to eat and make him feel needed also. I hope you do not have a disorder, Your in my prayers.

my family has tried thearpy and it didnt work. my dad has a thearpist for his anger, but its not getting better. i know i have an ED every1 knows it, including my thearpist. my dad and i got in a HUGE HUGE HUGE fight yesterday. ive never seen him yell that much. he said i had no control over anything. and all the basic stuff. i told him i coudlnt talk to him becuase he always got angry. that made him even more billistic. i have gotton up to 99 lbs. and i have to weigh 100 tomaro morning or i cant do anything, like ride my horse. (im a competive ride) i didnt get up to 100 so i have dont nothing all weekend. im so sick of this. when will he back off. he CANT help me if hes treating me liike this. but he wont listen!

do all parents do this to their children? PUNISH them for weighing a certain amount. its not like i weigh 80 or something

i wish that therapy would work, but it doesn't for my dad either. mayb u should talk 2 him when he's calm and tell him that when he gets angry w/ u, its not helping, and ur telling that 2 him just so he'll understand. and mayb u could tell him that u know that he's trying 2 help u, but taking things away from u isn't helping either and that u feel like he's trying 2 punish u for weighing a certain weight. make sure 2 say this in a sensitive way so if won't sound like u want 2 argue with him or something.