I was 9 years old at the time my uncle passed away and at the time I found out I couldn't cry or anything. I just sat there and watched the funeral and thats it. I felt nothing but just nothingness. i couldn't cry at all or even feel pain. 4 months ago my other uncle passed away and I was close to him he acutally passed away while I was at his house, he had a heart attack. It was very unexpected. When my father came to wake me up and tell me what happened I honestly felt nothing I was like "why? when? what do you mean?" and thats it I couldn't cry it just didn't happen. I don't know why It just didn't. at the burial I shed a tear but thatwas only after forcing myself too. whats wrong with me?

How old are you now? Anyway, most 9 yo don't cry at funerals. My sons went to their 8 yo cousins funeral when they were 9 and 12. What did they do? They played downstairs with the other kids there - laughed and ate snacks. When it came time for the service they were quiet but none were very emotional. As we get older we have more awareness of 'what if' and 'oh, look what him and his parents are going to miss.'

Young children still are living for the day. They don't get overwhelmed with sorrow. You will grieve in your own way in your own time. That is something that is very personal to your maturity and age.

How old are you now? Anyway, most 9 yo don't cry at funerals. My sons went to their 8 yo cousins funeral when they were 9 and 12. What did they do? They played downstairs with the other kids there - laughed and ate snacks. When it came time for the service they were quiet but none were very emotional. As we get older we have more awareness of 'what if' and 'oh, look what him and his parents are going to miss.'

Young children still are living for the day. They don't get overwhelmed with sorrow. You will grieve in your own way in your own time. That is something that is very personal to your maturity and age.

now I am 16 and at the time my uncle passed away when I was 9 I knew what was going on I had seen him go through lung cancer for a couple years. I felt something when he passed away just not sadness same thing with my recent uncle that passed away this is many years later except I dont feel anything

Maybe it's your subconscience working to protect you from the grief you would feel otherwise. Sometimes our bodies do weird things to shut out our emotions to keep us from feeling so sad.
I was close to my uncle too, but didn't cry when he died. I was sad and felt bad for his wife and kids, but didn't cry. Now if someone in my immediate family (mother, father, brother) died, I would definately be devestated.

Maybe it's your subconscience working to protect you from the grief you would feel otherwise. Sometimes our bodies do weird things to shut out our emotions to keep us from feeling so sad.
I was close to my uncle too, but didn't cry when he died. I was sad and felt bad for his wife and kids, but didn't cry. Now if someone in my immediate family (mother, father, brother) died, I would definately be devestated.

thats the problem I am thinking if something ever does happen to an immediate family I don't know if I will feel anything. And I dont want anything to happen to them. Life sucks it's hard to have emotions maybe it's because I am a guy

When my grandfather died when I was in my 20's, I was feeling much the same as you. I recall being upset with myself for not feeling sad enough to be brought to tears throughout the wake, funeral & burial, much like you are feeling with the loss of your uncle. Well, it wasn't until a few years later when I was at a Polish festival and saw a little girl stand on her grandfathers feet while they danced (something my grandpa often did with me) that the tears flowed and my heart truly felt the loss that was there. So....don't worry, everyone grieves in their own time & in their own way. Sorry for your loss. And may God's blessings be with you & your family at this time....Goody

I didn't experience death of an immediate family member until 2 years ago and I am 29 years old. I personally consider that a blessing! My grandmother died of cancer at the age of 88 and my feelings were hurt tremendously, but I didn't necessarily cry a river, although I really wanted too. The thing is that I KNEW she was not hurting anymore and that she was in a much better place! So, I felt joy for HER in the midst of MY sorrow and that's the way I choose to look at death..but it's still a difficult thing to deal with.

My grandmother died in the mid-1980's. Instead of crying, I acted the grief out in other ways like being angry and anxious and I hate to say this but inappropriately laughing a little too hard. I really couldn't cry at the time but the grief found its way out of me in other avenues.

Now that I'm 20 years older, I still miss her a lot sometimes and I've cried more about this in recent years than I ever did at the time. Its funny that tears will come when you're ready for them.

I fully understand what you're saying, because I'm exactly the same. When I was 6 years old my father commited suicide, when I was 8 years old my uncle passed, when I was 9 years old my cousin was run over on the way to school, when I was 11 years old my grandmother whom raised me passed too. Up till 2 years ago my sister was hospitalized in a mental institution (overall for 5 years).

All through-out these tragedies I've always been very calm, very "strong". They've caused me to be very cold, very calm, externally I seem to be stress-free but inside the opposite is true. I remember when we got the phone call telling us my cousin got run over by a bus, I didn't feel anything and was mad at myself for feeling this way.

Sometimes at memorials, especially of my dad's, I would almost start to cry and instead I tried my best to hold it in.

What I think this is is a defence mechanism against grief, pain, loss. By shielding out emotions you protect yourself from being exposed to all the negatives that could come in.

The fact is that my sister ended up with mental illness (she is very emotional and open) and I ended up being a very level-headed person, I have much pain inside, but I'm completely stable mentally.

That's all, just wanted to share my experience and tell you I know what you mean, and you shouldn't think you're weird for being unemotional sometimes..

I fully understand what you're saying, because I'm exactly the same. When I was 6 years old my father commited suicide, when I was 8 years old my uncle passed, when I was 9 years old my cousin was run over on the way to school, when I was 11 years old my grandmother whom raised me passed too. Up till 2 years ago my sister was hospitalized in a mental institution (overall for 5 years).

All through-out these tragedies I've always been very calm, very "strong". They've caused me to be very cold, very calm, externally I seem to be stress-free but inside the opposite is true. I remember when we got the phone call telling us my cousin got run over by a bus, I didn't feel anything and was mad at myself for feeling this way.

Sometimes at memorials, especially of my dad's, I would almost start to cry and instead I tried my best to hold it in.

What I think this is is a defence mechanism against grief, pain, loss. By shielding out emotions you protect yourself from being exposed to all the negatives that could come in.

The fact is that my sister ended up with mental illness (she is very emotional and open) and I ended up being a very level-headed person, I have much pain inside, but I'm completely stable mentally.

That's all, just wanted to share my experience and tell you I know what you mean, and you shouldn't think you're weird for being unemotional sometimes..

I fully understand what you're saying, because I'm exactly the same. When I was 6 years old my father commited suicide, when I was 8 years old my uncle passed, when I was 9 years old my cousin was run over on the way to school, when I was 11 years old my grandmother whom raised me passed too. Up till 2 years ago my sister was hospitalized in a mental institution (overall for 5 years).

All through-out these tragedies I've always been very calm, very "strong". They've caused me to be very cold, very calm, externally I seem to be stress-free but inside the opposite is true. I remember when we got the phone call telling us my cousin got run over by a bus, I didn't feel anything and was mad at myself for feeling this way.

Sometimes at memorials, especially of my dad's, I would almost start to cry and instead I tried my best to hold it in.

What I think this is is a defence mechanism against grief, pain, loss. By shielding out emotions you protect yourself from being exposed to all the negatives that could come in.

The fact is that my sister ended up with mental illness (she is very emotional and open) and I ended up being a very level-headed person, I have much pain inside, but I'm completely stable mentally.

That's all, just wanted to share my experience and tell you I know what you mean, and you shouldn't think you're weird for being unemotional sometimes..

there is not a human being without feelings, you just have to look within yourself, maybe a little deeper.

http://www.kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/thought/talk_feelings.html