phow
09-28-2004, 04:55 AM
I have a 5yr old ASD daughter and I find myself often imagining what life with her would be like in the future when she is older. Most of the time, I worry about the uncertainties the future brings.
For those of you with older kids, maybe those in their teens, how you manage them? Do you take your kids out a lot? How do you handle them in public? Do you ever go out and leave them at home alone, even for a while? Do you still have time for yourself? Now that they are physically stronger, is it tough managing their tantrums or hyperactivity? I saw in the paper the other day a picture of a mother putting her 14 yr old son on a leash because she constantly fears he will run off when they go out. That made me real depressed.
For those of you with older kids, maybe those in their teens, how you manage them? Do you take your kids out a lot? How do you handle them in public? Do you ever go out and leave them at home alone, even for a while? Do you still have time for yourself? Now that they are physically stronger, is it tough managing their tantrums or hyperactivity? I saw in the paper the other day a picture of a mother putting her 14 yr old son on a leash because she constantly fears he will run off when they go out. That made me real depressed.
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dj[pat]
09-28-2004, 08:37 PM
My son is 18yr. now. He really is autistic-like the Rainman. He is 340 lbs. and 6'5". I do take him out with me to malls and dining ect. He has gotten better with age. He used to run alot. Now he stays with me-unless he sees a tv... then, he's off.Sometimes, there are tantrums but you learn to deal with it. I do know I do not let people staring bother me anymore. I am proud of my son and dare anyone to tell me otherwise. I can't leave him alone at home because he has a mind of his own and may take off. He has run away 2x before. Since he has no fear of cars or danger, and is pretty much non-verbal, I have to watch him. He has mellowed in his yrs. and basically goes to school, comes home, eats and spends the night in his room with 10 radios,atv,vcr and whatever.Loves his electronics.He's a good boy.He loves going places in cars or buses. I've taken him to NYC,Philli,The Bronx Zoo,Washington,D.C. ect. He was GREAT! My hubby, on the other hand, just whined continually. Next trip...I left hubby home.It was much more fun. Every child is different. You'll have to judge yourself. Mine is on prozac which does help his compulsive behaviors. But he has slowed down with age and turned to the things that interrest him. Take it one day at a time and don't worry. Enjoy your child for what he/she is. And forget about what people think. I stare right back at them. dj[pat]
mudhound
09-28-2004, 09:59 PM
hang in there! Let the people who stare just stare. I would show them my bare BU**. Moon them that is.
phow
09-29-2004, 04:59 AM
Thanks, Pat for sharing your experiences.
I have a phobia of bringing my daughter on flights for holidays because I really don’t know how she’d react in a plane. We haven't been anywhere that requires flying since she was diagnosed. It’s really nice to see how you are enjoying your son so much and your time together with him.
- Pam
I have a phobia of bringing my daughter on flights for holidays because I really don’t know how she’d react in a plane. We haven't been anywhere that requires flying since she was diagnosed. It’s really nice to see how you are enjoying your son so much and your time together with him.
- Pam
I Love LJC
09-30-2004, 03:34 AM
Hi my daughter is 8 with high functioning autism now. She use to have it real bad she has out grown alot of it. I worried about what people thought when i took her places.I think it bothered me more like i didnt want to disturb them. Believe me when she was younger she would have melt downs every where i took her .I had to bite my lip and go for it anyway and expose her to the world it was a battle but worth it . I believe by doing this ,getting her out where she has every right to be she wouldnt be where she is today. She had to learn being outside just like everyone else.Her nervous system just took a little more time to develop and get use to things around her..She has no problems what so ever now.I took her to see Fleetwood Mac she asked me to take her she loves Stevie Nicks and she loved being there .Yes she does the twirl too like Stevie.She did use Ear Plugs though to be on the safe side. Next she wants me to take her to Paul Mc Cartney :) . She goes all over the place now.She use to freakout and cover her ears with any loud noise especially airplanes flying over.Today she is doing great :bouncing:My Best to Everyone.
suzann61
10-03-2004, 11:19 AM
Hi...
I have twin boys with autism they are 14 now.....All I can say is ...it so much better now than when they were little. Life is alot easier..Yes we still have good days and bad days....
When they were little I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel, now I see the light....
Its alot of work..alot of patience, alot of love and alot of making sure my boys are getting what they need at school to succeed. The more postive we are (and school) the better my boys do....
Hang in there to anyone with younger children it does get better....
Suzann
I have twin boys with autism they are 14 now.....All I can say is ...it so much better now than when they were little. Life is alot easier..Yes we still have good days and bad days....
When they were little I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel, now I see the light....
Its alot of work..alot of patience, alot of love and alot of making sure my boys are getting what they need at school to succeed. The more postive we are (and school) the better my boys do....
Hang in there to anyone with younger children it does get better....
Suzann
Kathy287
10-03-2004, 06:48 PM
I am the mother of a son with aspergers, adhd, and obsessive/compulsive disorder. He was diagnosed at 4 1/2 after I begged for help because I didn't know what to do with him. He would run away at every chance. He dislocated my wrist several times by dropping while I had my "death grip" on his wrist. Finally I started wearing a leash on him. It was for his own safety. He had no understanding that if he ran in front of a car, he would get hurt...all he could see was that ball he wanted, or whatever else it was that caught his eye. I refused to give in and keep him at home. They did put him on meds, they started with ritalin, but changed to adderall and clonidine which he is still on. I was a stay at home mom but I took in other children to help pay the bills. This gave plenty of outside stimulation for him. He always was "in his own little world". He would let someone else play with him if they played what he wanted but he wouldn't seek out someone. We slowly worked with him to give him incentives to go and play with other children such as see the toy John is playing with, you could play with that too, if you go share with John. It took time, but persistence paid off. Also, he was very uncomfortable with touching. He hugged when he had to. He now hugs all the time. He just started 7th grade and is in regular classes and this year is the first year we didn't say anything to any teachers about any of his problems. We are going to see how things go. We have a daughter who everything seems to come easy for, she has been on the honor roll every possible time she could be and she doesn't even really try. Derik, our son, works hard, and for the first time at the end of 6th grade he made honor roll! We were so proud. I felt bad that our daughter had made it so many times and we told her how great she did, but it just wasn't the same. Oh well, it may be I just know how hard he worked for it. Derik goes out all the time, there is no problem. We never have any stares. He no longer has the leash. My children stay home alone, Derik is 12 and Amanda is 14. I think Derik will be ready to stay alone in about 2 more years. Anyway, I just wanted to share another positive story. Don't give up! Don't shelter her. Walk beside her every step of the way, let her know that you are there, and let her take the size steps that she is able, just so she is taking steps...it doesn't matter how small they are.
Kathy
Kathy
BleuRoziz
10-06-2004, 12:15 PM
Go on--get on a plane! My 9yo loved it! and if you think it will be a problem, a little Childrens Tylenol, or whatever your doctor recommends, should be able to relax her.
NineLives
10-06-2004, 08:50 PM
My son will be 18 on Monday. He is high functioning now but at age 5 I was concerned that we could never have a really normal life. My son has learned very well how to cope with his disabilities. He drives a car. He is trying to earn his high school diploma and wants to go on to college. It's stressful trying to help him to achieve his goals but hey we're getting there. At one time I hated even going to a grocery store with him and outings were so stressful. Now we do leave him alone at him and he likes having responsiblities while we are gone. We always have family close by in case he gets into any problems while we are gone. So far we've not gone the medication route although some recent testing indicated some signs of depression which is understandable considering the pressures of school and social situations. We may just seek some counceling to help with his coping skills unless meds are unavoidable.
Izzorc
10-09-2004, 11:34 PM
To DJ Pat: :)
You sound like a wonderful mother, I can only hope that if my son is at the same level at 34, he is only 2, that I will have the same positive attitute you have. I guess "it is what it is" and you make the best of it and whether they are 2 or 62 they are your children and you love them because of who they are.
You sound like a wonderful mother, I can only hope that if my son is at the same level at 34, he is only 2, that I will have the same positive attitute you have. I guess "it is what it is" and you make the best of it and whether they are 2 or 62 they are your children and you love them because of who they are.