cellgirl
10-08-2004, 05:37 PM
Hi all
this is my first post. i have been diag bipolar since i was 15 (1995). i also believe i have generalized anxiety disorder as well. the reason i am posting is because my husband is getting ready to leave me for good. we have been married 3 1/2 years and the going has gotten rough. i am very controlling and he has learned to cave in to me and tell me what i want to hear, wether it is the truth or not. i am severely co-dependant and i cannot live like this and continue to make everyone around me miserable.i cannot controll my jealousy! i think aboiut him cheating all the time. every minute that he is away from me, i think he is with someone else. how do i controll this? i have tried thought stopping but it doesnt work. i just upped my meds to 10 mg of zypreza and just statrted lexapro. what do you all think?
this is my first post. i have been diag bipolar since i was 15 (1995). i also believe i have generalized anxiety disorder as well. the reason i am posting is because my husband is getting ready to leave me for good. we have been married 3 1/2 years and the going has gotten rough. i am very controlling and he has learned to cave in to me and tell me what i want to hear, wether it is the truth or not. i am severely co-dependant and i cannot live like this and continue to make everyone around me miserable.i cannot controll my jealousy! i think aboiut him cheating all the time. every minute that he is away from me, i think he is with someone else. how do i controll this? i have tried thought stopping but it doesnt work. i just upped my meds to 10 mg of zypreza and just statrted lexapro. what do you all think?
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mudhound
10-10-2004, 06:10 AM
You have taken a huge leap. Just confessing this here shows that you are willing to try.
welcome to the board!
welcome to the board!
*music23*
10-10-2004, 09:15 PM
Maybe you might want to investigate something called Borderline Personality Disorder. I don't know a lot about it, but what I do know, your description reminds me of. I may be completely off the mark; check it out though. It's just a thought.
Welcome!
Kristina :wave:
Welcome!
Kristina :wave:
XmasCarol
10-11-2004, 07:13 PM
Welcome to the board! You'll find some really nice people here with alot of ideas.
My advice to you would be to look inward for your answers, rather than relying on medication to take it away. Short of a medically induced lobotomy, when you face yourself in the mirror it will still be there. With or without medicine, jealousy comes from deep within and is experienced by pretty much 99.99% of the human population from time to time. You need to find out where it is coming from, not find ways to avoid dealing with it or trying to find a quick fix.
I have a question for you before I offer any further advice. Were you always jealous (prior significant others, friends, parents, even siblings) or is this something new? IMHO, jealousy is an outward sympton of our own inborn insecurity and/or low self-esteem. It can come from feelings of betrayal by various people over our lifetime which prevent us from bonding in a healthy matter with totally trustworthy people. Except in those case where you have already been betrayed by the object of your jealousy, it's best to try and see if this is simply habit from your past or is there something that is giving you cause for concern.
Also, until you figure out where it's coming from, I wouldn't go investigating any more "labels" right now... leave that to the doctors. Jealousy is quite common, and given your total current circumstances, it may be totally unrelated to a "disorder."
My advice to you would be to look inward for your answers, rather than relying on medication to take it away. Short of a medically induced lobotomy, when you face yourself in the mirror it will still be there. With or without medicine, jealousy comes from deep within and is experienced by pretty much 99.99% of the human population from time to time. You need to find out where it is coming from, not find ways to avoid dealing with it or trying to find a quick fix.
I have a question for you before I offer any further advice. Were you always jealous (prior significant others, friends, parents, even siblings) or is this something new? IMHO, jealousy is an outward sympton of our own inborn insecurity and/or low self-esteem. It can come from feelings of betrayal by various people over our lifetime which prevent us from bonding in a healthy matter with totally trustworthy people. Except in those case where you have already been betrayed by the object of your jealousy, it's best to try and see if this is simply habit from your past or is there something that is giving you cause for concern.
Also, until you figure out where it's coming from, I wouldn't go investigating any more "labels" right now... leave that to the doctors. Jealousy is quite common, and given your total current circumstances, it may be totally unrelated to a "disorder."
Soniarose59
10-12-2004, 08:13 AM
Glad you are here. I am figuring you are about 24. Being bipolar is hard enough and then we have to deal with other people! From my own stand point, I had a really hard time with relationships until this last one. If possible, maybe you and your husband can get into therapy. If not both, then maybe yourself. It doesn't have to be long term or real intense. For me, time has really shown me who I am or was. It has taken a while to deal with some issues while trying to deal with bipolar. As I have gotten older, my bipolar has gotten worse but I am learning how to deal. My husband is also bipolar so he is very understanding. Our children are also grown so that helps. You have a lot on your plate, don't go it alone.
Sondra
Sondra
cellgirl
10-14-2004, 12:22 PM
You are right- I am 24. How weird~! I know that my jealousy comes from being so insecure with myself. I am a size 20, and i didnt used to be, that weighs on me heavily. my husband did cheat on me once while we were dating, so that also plays a key role. but i know he loves me and cheating isnt in his cards (his dad cheated on his mom). its the irrational part of me that tells me that he is cheating, not the common sense part. i guess that was what i was trying to convey with the title. there is the good side and the bad side. no voices or anything though! i have found a new threapist and he is really what i need- no nonsense and doesnt just sit there and go "uh huh" - you know what i mean! i feel like i need to draw the line somewhere with my husband, letting him go out and party till 4 am isnt working for me. but i am afraid to make him mad, i really need to get a handle on this co-dependancy. anyways, thanks for welcoming me to the board.
cellgirl
10-14-2004, 12:24 PM
okay, i feel stupid. you didnt just *guess* i was 24. i am silly.
gracetoo71
10-14-2004, 09:28 PM
cellgirl-welcome to the boards. i am a newbie myself and have found the people here very supportive and kind. you seem to know your "faults", for lack of a better word. you know what you want to improve, this is a step in the right direction. i too, know my faults, but am struggling to fix them. knowing them is one thing, knowing how to fix them is another. you know how you want to be, but getting there is the struggle. trust is earned and for some it is not to be taken lightly. i am one that doesn't take trust lightly. i don't know what i would do in your situation. i believe it would be hard for me to trust someone that has cheated on me in the past and would probably be as jeolous as you. start with a hobby, something you enjoy doing that totally takes your mind off of things for awhile. something you can really get into. it may take some experimenting, as it did for me, but i have found video games take me away for a bit. others read, sew, knit, paint, etc.. i believe this gives the mind time to just take a load off. keeping a journal may also help. i have found this useful at times. i am not very good at offering good advice so take what i advise at face value. i only hope you find your way to an inner peace with yourself, for then and only then can you offer peace to others. the road is long but there are many others traveling the same road, the same direction, some are further along, some are further behind, some are in step with you. you have found a great place to begin the journey. best wishes and take care