QuirkyMotherOf2
10-10-2004, 05:23 PM
Hello Everyone,
First of all, please forgive me if this is lengthy. I could really use your help. We are a military family and my husband deploys frequently. Since my husband has left, my son has had lots of meltdowns and it goes on like that all day. Today seems to be a good day so far but yesterday was just awful. Nothing was helping him. I tried to get him to take a nap but to no avail he didn't take one. I know having a consistent schedule for them helps and we try to follow that. But we are in a unique situation because things aren't always the same since we are a Military family. We move frequently and dh leaves frequently. I am just looking for advice, help, suggestions to help him during these difficult times.
He hasn't been sleeping either. Someone here suggested giving him melatonin and after Okaying it with his doctor, I started giving it to him yesterday. He may sleep for a couple of hours but then he is up again. It's wrecking havoc on my sleep schedule. I am always exhausted and can only get through the day with tons of Diet Pepsi. If something doesn't turn around soon, I may end up in a mental ward. :D
I would so appeciate any help
First of all, please forgive me if this is lengthy. I could really use your help. We are a military family and my husband deploys frequently. Since my husband has left, my son has had lots of meltdowns and it goes on like that all day. Today seems to be a good day so far but yesterday was just awful. Nothing was helping him. I tried to get him to take a nap but to no avail he didn't take one. I know having a consistent schedule for them helps and we try to follow that. But we are in a unique situation because things aren't always the same since we are a Military family. We move frequently and dh leaves frequently. I am just looking for advice, help, suggestions to help him during these difficult times.
He hasn't been sleeping either. Someone here suggested giving him melatonin and after Okaying it with his doctor, I started giving it to him yesterday. He may sleep for a couple of hours but then he is up again. It's wrecking havoc on my sleep schedule. I am always exhausted and can only get through the day with tons of Diet Pepsi. If something doesn't turn around soon, I may end up in a mental ward. :D
I would so appeciate any help
Sponsor
shue
10-10-2004, 06:15 PM
(((HUGS)))
Hmmmm. What soothes him? Abby needs her "cool-out" spot when she gets into what we call "Full-Tilt Boogie," if I can get her into her pop-up tent with her blanket it really helps. I keep a tent in the back of my car incase we need it when we are out. LOL Also, her therapists started working with her to take deep breathes and that has been a tremendous help. It seems so obvious, but we had never tried that before. If he is into counting, pick the number of breaths he needs to take and even the counting part of it might help him. It may take several rounds of deep breathing, but it does eventually work for Abby.
Also, I just have to let her lose it sometimes. I know it sounds awful, but as long as she is not engaging in self-injury, I just let her go. It is very hard on my nerves and everyone else's within a ten mile radius, but for her, even the slightest bit of attention from me can be enough reinforcement for her to go on and on.
And sleeping....ugh, that is so hard. We struggled with that until we got started on the vitamin regime. It is so difficult. I am sorry for you. What is y'all's routine at bedtime?
Hmmmm. What soothes him? Abby needs her "cool-out" spot when she gets into what we call "Full-Tilt Boogie," if I can get her into her pop-up tent with her blanket it really helps. I keep a tent in the back of my car incase we need it when we are out. LOL Also, her therapists started working with her to take deep breathes and that has been a tremendous help. It seems so obvious, but we had never tried that before. If he is into counting, pick the number of breaths he needs to take and even the counting part of it might help him. It may take several rounds of deep breathing, but it does eventually work for Abby.
Also, I just have to let her lose it sometimes. I know it sounds awful, but as long as she is not engaging in self-injury, I just let her go. It is very hard on my nerves and everyone else's within a ten mile radius, but for her, even the slightest bit of attention from me can be enough reinforcement for her to go on and on.
And sleeping....ugh, that is so hard. We struggled with that until we got started on the vitamin regime. It is so difficult. I am sorry for you. What is y'all's routine at bedtime?
QuirkyMotherOf2
10-10-2004, 06:26 PM
(((HUGS)))
Hmmmm. What soothes him? Abby needs her "cool-out" spot when she gets into what we call "Full-Tilt Boogie," if I can get her into her pop-up tent with her blanket it really helps. I keep a tent in the back of my car incase we need it when we are out. LOL Also, her therapists started working with her to take deep breathes and that has been a tremendous help. It seems so obvious, but we had never tried that before. If he is into counting, pick the number of breaths he needs to take and even the counting part of it might help him. It may take several rounds of deep breathing, but it does eventually work for Abby.
Also, I just have to let her lose it sometimes. I know it sounds awful, but as long as she is not engaging in self-injury, I just let her go. It is very hard on my nerves and everyone else's within a ten mile radius, but for her, even the slightest bit of attention from me can be enough reinforcement for her to go on and on.
And sleeping....ugh, that is so hard. We struggled with that until we got started on the vitamin regime. It is so difficult. I am sorry for you. What is y'all's routine at bedtime?
I have noticed with my son that when I discipline (i.e. timeout) he goes into a full tailspin of screaming, crying, stomping...asking stuff like, "Why does sissy not go in timeout?" I try my hardest to ignore it but if I don't sit right next time he will go of the timeout chair and it will start all over. His room seems to be his safe refuge but he comes out of his room asking if he can come out so it sort of defeat the purpose of timeout/regrouping. Any ideas of what I can do in these instances? I was told some autistic kids act like they are controlled by a motor that never stops. My son is like that.
As for his bedtime routine, he gets a shower so we aren't rushed in the morning before school, then we get him some juice, brush teeth, read a store, tuck him in with his favorite blanket and he is off to snoozeland. Most of the time he is up a few hours later though. Though the melatonin seems to be helping some. I stay up after he goes to bed to get time to myself but then I am exhausted the next day. I could go to bed when he does but then I don't get time to do the things I need to do. I really don't know what to do.
Hmmmm. What soothes him? Abby needs her "cool-out" spot when she gets into what we call "Full-Tilt Boogie," if I can get her into her pop-up tent with her blanket it really helps. I keep a tent in the back of my car incase we need it when we are out. LOL Also, her therapists started working with her to take deep breathes and that has been a tremendous help. It seems so obvious, but we had never tried that before. If he is into counting, pick the number of breaths he needs to take and even the counting part of it might help him. It may take several rounds of deep breathing, but it does eventually work for Abby.
Also, I just have to let her lose it sometimes. I know it sounds awful, but as long as she is not engaging in self-injury, I just let her go. It is very hard on my nerves and everyone else's within a ten mile radius, but for her, even the slightest bit of attention from me can be enough reinforcement for her to go on and on.
And sleeping....ugh, that is so hard. We struggled with that until we got started on the vitamin regime. It is so difficult. I am sorry for you. What is y'all's routine at bedtime?
I have noticed with my son that when I discipline (i.e. timeout) he goes into a full tailspin of screaming, crying, stomping...asking stuff like, "Why does sissy not go in timeout?" I try my hardest to ignore it but if I don't sit right next time he will go of the timeout chair and it will start all over. His room seems to be his safe refuge but he comes out of his room asking if he can come out so it sort of defeat the purpose of timeout/regrouping. Any ideas of what I can do in these instances? I was told some autistic kids act like they are controlled by a motor that never stops. My son is like that.
As for his bedtime routine, he gets a shower so we aren't rushed in the morning before school, then we get him some juice, brush teeth, read a store, tuck him in with his favorite blanket and he is off to snoozeland. Most of the time he is up a few hours later though. Though the melatonin seems to be helping some. I stay up after he goes to bed to get time to myself but then I am exhausted the next day. I could go to bed when he does but then I don't get time to do the things I need to do. I really don't know what to do.
ang64063
10-10-2004, 06:31 PM
Okay for the meltdowns, you might try weighted blankets.
As for the melatonin, yes it does work, but you may need to add a few things to get it to work better for you.
What I would do is this:
1. Add some 1/4-1/2 cup of Epsom Salts to a tub full of very warm bath water.
2. Right before bedtme give him a dose of digestive enzymes along with a small glass of milk and something to eat (like oatmeal, cookies, or cupcake).
I do this for my kids (except the Melatonin is Valerian Root Extract and not Melatonin), and they sleep so good that I have to wake them up in time to get ready for school.
As for the melatonin, yes it does work, but you may need to add a few things to get it to work better for you.
What I would do is this:
1. Add some 1/4-1/2 cup of Epsom Salts to a tub full of very warm bath water.
2. Right before bedtme give him a dose of digestive enzymes along with a small glass of milk and something to eat (like oatmeal, cookies, or cupcake).
I do this for my kids (except the Melatonin is Valerian Root Extract and not Melatonin), and they sleep so good that I have to wake them up in time to get ready for school.
QuirkyMotherOf2
10-10-2004, 06:36 PM
Okay for the meltdowns, you might try weighted blankets.
As for the melatonin, yes it does work, but you may need to add a few things to get it to work better for you.
What I would do is this:
1. Add some 1/4-1/2 cup of Epsom Salts to a tub full of very warm bath water.
2. Right before bedtme give him a dose of digestive enzymes along with a small glass of milk and something to eat (like oatmeal, cookies, or cupcake).
I do this for my kids (except the Melatonin is Valerian Root Extract and not Melatonin), and they sleep so good that I have to wake them up in time to get ready for school.
Okay, since I don't know, how does a weighted blanket help them? I have heard of them but I honestly have no idea what it does for them. :)
I will get some Epsom salts tomorrow at the store. What does the digestive enzymes do? I am willing to try anything at this point, even if you were to suggest feeding him dirt. I am just so frustrated. :D
As for the melatonin, yes it does work, but you may need to add a few things to get it to work better for you.
What I would do is this:
1. Add some 1/4-1/2 cup of Epsom Salts to a tub full of very warm bath water.
2. Right before bedtme give him a dose of digestive enzymes along with a small glass of milk and something to eat (like oatmeal, cookies, or cupcake).
I do this for my kids (except the Melatonin is Valerian Root Extract and not Melatonin), and they sleep so good that I have to wake them up in time to get ready for school.
Okay, since I don't know, how does a weighted blanket help them? I have heard of them but I honestly have no idea what it does for them. :)
I will get some Epsom salts tomorrow at the store. What does the digestive enzymes do? I am willing to try anything at this point, even if you were to suggest feeding him dirt. I am just so frustrated. :D
fouroutafive
10-10-2004, 07:09 PM
My daughter has days when it seems all she has done is be upset. If not a full out meltdown then a fussy spell at least every fourty five minutes. The one thing we can do, if not just to give our nerves a break, is puzzles. It is her favorite thing and it works best if I am doing them with her. Our dr. is having us keep track of her fits so that we can figure out the biggest reasons for them which will help us better deal with them. We are also doing "clock time". I bought an egg timer that ticks along with an asortment of gum,which is her favorite treat. And at various times of the day we call a clock time. We set the clock for a very short period of time like 2 minutes, and she is expected to sit on the couch with it until it rings and if she hasnt pinched or screamed while the clock was ticking she gets a piece of gum. This could be used for having fits also.The good thing about this is that you can do it out in public without too much hasle. just pull out the clock and let them walk around with it. It is usualy a very quiet 2 minutes if nothing else. She loves the sound of the clock.Hope it helps
QuirkyMotherOf2
10-10-2004, 07:51 PM
My daughter has days when it seems all she has done is be upset. If not a full out meltdown then a fussy spell at least every fourty five minutes. The one thing we can do, if not just to give our nerves a break, is puzzles. It is her favorite thing and it works best if I am doing them with her. Our dr. is having us keep track of her fits so that we can figure out the biggest reasons for them which will help us better deal with them. We are also doing "clock time". I bought an egg timer that ticks along with an asortment of gum,which is her favorite treat. And at various times of the day we call a clock time. We set the clock for a very short period of time like 2 minutes, and she is expected to sit on the couch with it until it rings and if she hasnt pinched or screamed while the clock was ticking she gets a piece of gum. This could be used for having fits also.The good thing about this is that you can do it out in public without too much hasle. just pull out the clock and let them walk around with it. It is usualy a very quiet 2 minutes if nothing else. She loves the sound of the clock.Hope it helps
My son isn't big on puzzles but he loves Nascar or his race cars that are in the shape of Nascar cars. Normally sometimes that will calm him down enough to talk to. I think I may need to buy an egg timer. That is a good idea!! I thought about it but haven't done it. Thanks for the idea!! I hope to get to know you guys more, you seem to have a lot of great ideas.
He is also having problems kicking, hitting, pushing, pulling/sniffing hair at school. He has an aide but it doesn't always help him. I am almost to the point where I want to homeschool him. His special ed. aide and I discussed him being overstimulated yet they aren't ready to pull him out and put him in a slower classroom. I am kind of frustrated with them.
My son isn't big on puzzles but he loves Nascar or his race cars that are in the shape of Nascar cars. Normally sometimes that will calm him down enough to talk to. I think I may need to buy an egg timer. That is a good idea!! I thought about it but haven't done it. Thanks for the idea!! I hope to get to know you guys more, you seem to have a lot of great ideas.
He is also having problems kicking, hitting, pushing, pulling/sniffing hair at school. He has an aide but it doesn't always help him. I am almost to the point where I want to homeschool him. His special ed. aide and I discussed him being overstimulated yet they aren't ready to pull him out and put him in a slower classroom. I am kind of frustrated with them.
blessedmom
10-10-2004, 10:29 PM
Hi
Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. We also are military but my husband is retired and I talk to other parents that are active and we have been going through the same thing, except my daughter was first diagnoised with down syndrome and when she started going through a lot of screaming, pulling her hair and mine and not sleeping I knew something was wrong. I went to the doctor and they kept telling me that I was doing what I could and she would be alright. I knew there had to be another answer so I took her to a devopmental specialist and after about an hour of questions and observing my daughter she was diagnoised with autism. I knew this in my heart but the military doctors would not even investigate any futher than downs. The doctor put her on a med called resperdol. Now my daughter does activities in school, she plays and gives her attention to things more than a minute and most of all she sleeps all night long. For a while we went through the period that she would not go to sleep until she was totally exhausted and that was about 4 or 5 in the morning and then we had to get up at 6, she to school and me to work. Of course we were not functional and the doctor said if the children don't sleep they can't focus and if they can focus they can't learn. She has been on this medicine since June and it is a God send. I don't know how you feel about giving your child meds but when the children get so exhausted they are frustrated because for some reason while their bodys are tired their brain is not slowing down. Well I hope this helps. If your child has not seen a developmental specialist yet ask to get an appointment with one. The regular peds doctors are not equipped. You have to almost demand more help for your child, I know, I use the military hospital too. God bless you and your household. Keep the faith and God will come through for you. :angel:
Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. We also are military but my husband is retired and I talk to other parents that are active and we have been going through the same thing, except my daughter was first diagnoised with down syndrome and when she started going through a lot of screaming, pulling her hair and mine and not sleeping I knew something was wrong. I went to the doctor and they kept telling me that I was doing what I could and she would be alright. I knew there had to be another answer so I took her to a devopmental specialist and after about an hour of questions and observing my daughter she was diagnoised with autism. I knew this in my heart but the military doctors would not even investigate any futher than downs. The doctor put her on a med called resperdol. Now my daughter does activities in school, she plays and gives her attention to things more than a minute and most of all she sleeps all night long. For a while we went through the period that she would not go to sleep until she was totally exhausted and that was about 4 or 5 in the morning and then we had to get up at 6, she to school and me to work. Of course we were not functional and the doctor said if the children don't sleep they can't focus and if they can focus they can't learn. She has been on this medicine since June and it is a God send. I don't know how you feel about giving your child meds but when the children get so exhausted they are frustrated because for some reason while their bodys are tired their brain is not slowing down. Well I hope this helps. If your child has not seen a developmental specialist yet ask to get an appointment with one. The regular peds doctors are not equipped. You have to almost demand more help for your child, I know, I use the military hospital too. God bless you and your household. Keep the faith and God will come through for you. :angel:
shue
10-11-2004, 01:16 AM
When I mentioned Abby's blanket, I meant her weighted one. Deep pressure soothes some kids. Her blanket weighs about 8 pounds. She doesn't always want it. Sometimes just getting inside her little tent is enough. I think being in there helps with visual stimulation overload.
I hope that some of these ideas will help. I'm going to try the little clock trick when out in public. That is a great idea! We are not military, but my husband travels and is away for two months every summer and two weeks at Christmas then little trips in between. While he is not doing anything so noble as protecting our freedoms (and God bless your family for that gift, thank you!) I can relate to how hard it can be. You have to figure out the sleep thing. You've got to sleep. Is he an escaper? Could you lock him in his room and put in ear plugs at least one night a week? I'm serious!!!
Hang in there.
I hope that some of these ideas will help. I'm going to try the little clock trick when out in public. That is a great idea! We are not military, but my husband travels and is away for two months every summer and two weeks at Christmas then little trips in between. While he is not doing anything so noble as protecting our freedoms (and God bless your family for that gift, thank you!) I can relate to how hard it can be. You have to figure out the sleep thing. You've got to sleep. Is he an escaper? Could you lock him in his room and put in ear plugs at least one night a week? I'm serious!!!
Hang in there.
Kathy287
10-12-2004, 11:35 AM
My son never slept more than 2-3 hours at a time from the time he was born. When he was 4 1/2 I finally got a diagnosis of ADHD, Obesessive/Compulsive Disorder, and Asperger Syndrome from a psychiatrist. We tried several meds but finally settled on Adderall for his ADHD and clonidine for the sleep. I finally got to sleep! He is now 12 1/2 and still on the same meds. Before we tried meds, we tried all kinds of things, but nothing seemed to work. My husband worked nights so I was alone at that time. All I can say is meds worked for us. I regained my sanity! Best of luck in whatever you choose.
Kathy
Kathy
lilmermaid
10-12-2004, 11:52 AM
We aren't a military family, but my husband travels frequently on business. My son is definitely a "daddy's boy", especially when daddy is gone! It has gotten better as he's gotten older, but I've been through some horrible meltdowns when he's upset over his dad not being home. It seems to help my son to have a written schedule he can look at when his dad is out of town. Sometimes I write it as a list, and sometimes I do it as a calendar. And, when DH does travel, I try to take him and his sister to do fun things (eating out, movies, etc) to minimize the amount of time we're home in the evenings while dad is gone. It seems to help.
Good luck! :)
Good luck! :)
destiny4meis1
10-14-2004, 12:07 AM
We were having the same problems with my son and the meltdowns were awful just recently and my son would always sleep 3-4 hours a night and up for the whole day. His Dr has him on Trazadone at night which helps alot to help him sleep. Also there is a drug called Geodon out for manic episodes and such and I have seen a complete turn around with this med.
edaisy80
10-14-2004, 02:14 AM
How old is your son? My son is 6 years old. The whole time out thing never worked for him either. He always had an attachment to a toy of some sort. Well last year when Caleb was showing out at school instaed of putting him in timeout they took his Spderman action figure away from him and put him in timeout. I know it sound so weird and at first I kinda laughed like yeah what's that gonna do. But you know what it work. Caleb can't sit still long enough for time out so spiderman has to and he can not stand, sit, or touch spiderman when (spiderman) is in timeout. He cried at first but now he knows. Caleb's best friend is the same way. His mom puts his Thomas train in time out. I use the whole minute system like you would if they were being put in timeout. I've noticed lately that Caleb doesn't have as may outburst as he used to whenever hes out or at home. He like to draw, write, and play games on the computer but if he shows out I turn the computer off. He thinks tha batteries are dead. When I have to take him to the grocery store I let him help me grocery shop. Yes it takes alot more time. And alot of times the commionssary is packed. I used to make my kids go fast and move out of peoples way but now I tell him what we need and he gets it and we check it off our list. So even though he may take a little longer time he id polite. He tells everybody he passes by excuse me at the store. He gets to get him favorite foods at the store, he's also using math when he counts the items. He helps put them on the belt at the check out too. He also gets a treat at the checkout if he was good in the store. Right now were having a pretty good time with him but I remember when we used to have to put a door cover on his door knob in his room because he wouldn't sleep so he wouldn't get out of the house. And I had always said that my kids wouldn't get a t.v.- v.c.r. in the room but that changed too when Caleb wasn't sleeping. So then he could watch his movies. Not the whole families movies in his room. He also had access to his toys. He also knew that if it was dark outside he wasn't allowed to wake his brother up who shares a room with him. I know al kids are differnt and I don't know how old your son is. When I mentioned Caleb's movies in his room they were Blues Clues movies so he was learning from them. And sometimes as hard as it may be you just have to sit him in his room and let him scream. Stand in th hall and when he comeout put him back. Don't give into him. He time counts in his room when he's done throwing a tantrum and does his minutes in silence or playing with his toys. At least that one thing we did do with Caleb. Everyone said to me well its not a punishment if he's in his room with his toys and has a t.v. Well he couldn't bring them out of his room and he couldn't come out until his time was up. Also Caleb would alot of the times go in his room and start palying and would forget all about why he was crying. And I didn't go back in there and say are you done throwing a fit because that would start it up again. Sorry for going on and on. I was just trying to share some of my expereience with Caleb & what we've done. I hope they help. And I know how you feel. My husband is military also. He's not currently deployed but he leave at 4:15 a.m. and doesn't get home till 8:30 p.m and sometimes later. He's a drill sgt. He works alot of hours. And before he was a drill sgt he was always deployed or in the field. Its really hard. And to me its not easy having a schedule especially never knowing what going on from one day to the next. The only routine we have is getting up at 6:30 a.m. (if he's still tired he sleeps till 6:50) during the week. And he goes to bed between 8:30 -9:00 p.m. everynight. On rare occassions he stays awake until 9:30 but no later. He doesn't spend the night with realitives either because they will let him stay up till he literly falls out. Then he will still get up early and then he throws tnatrums. He needs at least 10 hours of sleep a night. I really hope that he starts sleeping through the night for you I know how hard it is.
shue
10-14-2004, 08:58 AM
And sometimes as hard as it may be you just have to sit him in his room and let him scream. Stand in th hall and when he comeout put him back. Don't give into him.
I agree with this. We have to do the same thing. She eventually gets the message, but it is hard on the nerves and the rest of the house.
I agree with this. We have to do the same thing. She eventually gets the message, but it is hard on the nerves and the rest of the house.
Lisa in Indiana
10-14-2004, 09:55 AM
Just curious...what does his diet consist of during the day when he is having these meltdowns?
edaisy80
10-14-2004, 10:20 AM
Shue I agree that the screaming is hard on the nerves for everyone. But I know sometimes when my son is screaming and I pay him attention he will do it longer. If I ignore him he most of the time stops. Even when were out at the store (mostly Wal-Mart) I just tell him I'm gonna leave him. I never leave-leave but I take a few steps forward & turn to make sure he follows me. I guess then he's scared of the thought I'm leaving and stop throwing a tantrum & runs up to hug me. I've also been telling him lately that he's making me sad when he acts up & for some reason he doesn't want me to be sad and he will stop then 90% of the time too. Quirkymotherof2 do you have a friend or neighbor who is willing to take your son for about 15 minutes at a time? Maybe once a day. I know it doesn't seem like a long time but if you could maybe get someone to watch him for 15 minutes when he's having a bad day & just walk around the block maybe that would help. I have to do this sometimes. I'm lucky that he does do to school now. I remember when the tantrums where so bad at one time that as soon as my husband would walk through the door I would give him his dinner & say I'm going for a walk. I could always warm up my dinner later & it wasn't everyday but about twicw a week. And when ever he would start and my husband wasn't home I've went into the bathroom, lock the door & turn on the shower to drown out the noise. Music helps me too. I went to wal-mart & bought a really cheap $5.00 headset and when he starts at home having a bad day all day I will get my headphones & turn them on & drown him out. He's not a baby & he can always come up to me and tug on my pants if he wants something. And if he's still crying I tell him I can't hear him while he's crying and put the headphones back on until he's done. I used to get so stressed that I would just cry. And be like why am I married when I have no help. I feel like I'm doing this alone. My friend once told me that GOD only give us what we can handle. And it takes a special person to take care of a special needs child. And sometime people say to me "oh gosh how can you handle that. I couldn't do it." I just tell them that "its hard but that's why I was chosen to take care of Caleb & not them." Caleb had a bad day this past Sunday. And my sister said to me "I would go crazy if Caleb was mine. I would have gaven him up for adoption." I used to care what people thought but I don't anymore even when we are out. When they stare at Caleb I just ask them if they need some help. My son is not a bad kid. And neither is yours. And my son isn't like other kids so I can't treat him like he is. He need different attention. He doesn't need his butt spanked like some people say. He just needs lots of patience. I have a daughter who is 2. I can't say for sure I would have wanted another child after Caleb if I would have known how hard it was going to be to raise him. They also have an older brother who is 9. He really loves his brother & he helps me with Caleb. If I'm trying to make dinner and Caleb gets upset he will sit there & talk to Caleb. Or he put their plates on the table so that they can eat. Caleb doesn't always eat at the same time as everyone else but I'm not going to stress myself out over it. His dinner can be warmed up later or if he doesn't want what were having I will fix him something quick to eat. At least one night a week I don't make a dinner that is big. I let all the kids pick something easy to eat. So that they don't feel as though Caleb gets it all. Or if I have the money I order a pizza on payday or pick them something up at Burger King or something. That way at least their not eating out all the time but they know if their good then there the possiblity we will have takeout. I hope I've helped you. And you know your not alone. Even when you feel like you are.
shue
10-14-2004, 12:39 PM
I loved your post edaisy. All those people out there who think these kids just need discipline....Grrrr. Like I could just spank the autism out of her. There are cards you can print up that say, "You have just encountered a person with autism," on one side and then lists symptoms and a link on the other. Those come in handy when people feel compelled to stare or judge.
((hugs)) to all of y'all and God bless!
((hugs)) to all of y'all and God bless!
Lisa in Indiana
10-14-2004, 12:50 PM
shue,
where can I get these cards, lol?? I need a case full of them. We deal with ppl staring a lot, especially in public places. She doesn't do them very well unless you can do it in under 5 minutes!
Also, it's not just strangers...our own relatives have told us "she just need a good a** whipping!". Talk about mad! :mad:
People are just ignorant, so I don't let it bother me like I used to. I just feel sorry for them that they are so quick to judge and not be more understanding.
I do feel as if I have to justify her behavior at times with an explanation. But quite frankly, I shouldn't have to go around and say, "oh, she has autism, she has autism, she acts like that b/c she has autism." You all know what I mean.
where can I get these cards, lol?? I need a case full of them. We deal with ppl staring a lot, especially in public places. She doesn't do them very well unless you can do it in under 5 minutes!
Also, it's not just strangers...our own relatives have told us "she just need a good a** whipping!". Talk about mad! :mad:
People are just ignorant, so I don't let it bother me like I used to. I just feel sorry for them that they are so quick to judge and not be more understanding.
I do feel as if I have to justify her behavior at times with an explanation. But quite frankly, I shouldn't have to go around and say, "oh, she has autism, she has autism, she acts like that b/c she has autism." You all know what I mean.
edaisy80
10-14-2004, 10:02 PM
Lisa I've been there with Caleb when he was 3-4-&5 Years old. He didn't get is dianoises until this year 2 months before he was 6 years old. We were told that he was developmentally & speech delayed. I used to think that I had to explain to people while he acted the way he did. Now I'm just like you trade with me for one week and you will go home as the saying go "crying to your mama". My sisters (2 of them) make me so mad. Their like oh he needs a spanking or he's just a brat or he's spoiled. I used to not say anything back to them I would just let it upset me. Then one day I was like if that how you feel about him you don't have to be around him. He's not missing out on anything by not being around you. And I'm like you've got some room to talk I think you need to look at your own kids you know what I mean. The biggest thing that makes me mad is when people say "oh I'm sorry he's like that and isn't normal." I get really pissed. I say justify your definition because oviously its different then mine. My son may be developmentally delayed but he's just as normal as any other child. He has feeling the same way, he cries the same way, and has the same color blood as everyone else. He's not an alien. To me it feel like the same a racism. How people don't like each other because of a skin color. That's how sometimes Caleb is treated almost. But that's ok because he's not going to be as ignorent as everyone else. I see the so called "normal " kids in the store acting out alot of time just as badly or worse then Caleb. Why are they normal? At least my son has manners you know. He says please, thank-you, and excuse me when we out. Lisa you said your little girl is three right? Does she have good speech development? Caleb's speech teacher when he was 3 told me not to give Caleb anything unless he said (or attempted) to say please and thank you. The first please for Caleb was "more juice please". And I would hand him his cup. I'd say thank you & he would repeat until he learned that when your giving something you say thank you. And if he didn't say thank you I would nicely take it back from him and say "what are you suppose to say? thank you right" I didn't give in to him either. sorry I'm just going on and on. By the way Lisa I'm not trying to say your daughter doesn't know these things I was just wondering how well her speech is at 3. Caleb only had a 14 month vocabulary at 3. Well I hope everyone has a good weekend.
Lisa in Indiana
10-14-2004, 10:38 PM
edaisy80,
I take absolutely no offense to your questions or thoughts. Ivy began speech therapy when school resumed in August. She has yet to utter even a sound in school or in speech. Not one syllable. HOWEVER, her therapist sends home her packet for the week to work on here. Ivy knows them forwards and backwards. That doesn't surprise me though, she has excellent memorization skills. She often has things memorized after seeing them 1 or 2 times. When school started, her vocabulary was pretty limited. Very simple, short, 3 and 4 word sentences just like you said..."want some juice" was one of her firsts.
She had a lot of jargon and babbling. She was placed at a level of 1 yr 6 mths before school started. She was always very chatty, you just couldn't understand anything she was saying unless she was being echolalic. Then, you could understand her completely, but she had no idea what she was saying (other than you had previously said it to her). Does that make sense?
She talks a lot at home, just not at school. That has me perplexed!
I am not sure what the cause is, but her vocabulary has exploded lately. She actually said her first full, complete sentence and appropriately this past week-end. I wanted to cry. My mother-in-law dropped by unexpected and Ivy looked at her and said, "Well, hello Mamaw, what are you doing here?" I almost fell off the sofa. We all burst out laughing! It was a joyous moment!!
She has been CF for 6 months. We cut way back on gluten then too, but she has only been truly GF since around the same time school started. She is receiving speech therapy 4x a week. Her EI preschool has "regular" children in it too, so they can be exposed to children without disabilties. I think that may help as well. It just could be a combination of all those things. I have just witnessed great strides in her since beginning all these things. She is engaging in imaginative play for the first time and I just love to sit and listen to her play. It's music to my ears.
Sometimes I think, maybe she is "normal". Then all I have to do is see her with another child her age and I quickly remember that I am kidding myself.
I take absolutely no offense to your questions or thoughts. Ivy began speech therapy when school resumed in August. She has yet to utter even a sound in school or in speech. Not one syllable. HOWEVER, her therapist sends home her packet for the week to work on here. Ivy knows them forwards and backwards. That doesn't surprise me though, she has excellent memorization skills. She often has things memorized after seeing them 1 or 2 times. When school started, her vocabulary was pretty limited. Very simple, short, 3 and 4 word sentences just like you said..."want some juice" was one of her firsts.
She had a lot of jargon and babbling. She was placed at a level of 1 yr 6 mths before school started. She was always very chatty, you just couldn't understand anything she was saying unless she was being echolalic. Then, you could understand her completely, but she had no idea what she was saying (other than you had previously said it to her). Does that make sense?
She talks a lot at home, just not at school. That has me perplexed!
I am not sure what the cause is, but her vocabulary has exploded lately. She actually said her first full, complete sentence and appropriately this past week-end. I wanted to cry. My mother-in-law dropped by unexpected and Ivy looked at her and said, "Well, hello Mamaw, what are you doing here?" I almost fell off the sofa. We all burst out laughing! It was a joyous moment!!
She has been CF for 6 months. We cut way back on gluten then too, but she has only been truly GF since around the same time school started. She is receiving speech therapy 4x a week. Her EI preschool has "regular" children in it too, so they can be exposed to children without disabilties. I think that may help as well. It just could be a combination of all those things. I have just witnessed great strides in her since beginning all these things. She is engaging in imaginative play for the first time and I just love to sit and listen to her play. It's music to my ears.
Sometimes I think, maybe she is "normal". Then all I have to do is see her with another child her age and I quickly remember that I am kidding myself.
shue
10-15-2004, 08:38 AM
(((hugs))) to you Lisa. I remember Abby's first sentence. We had the same reaction. :D
Sometimes I think, maybe she is "normal". Then all I have to do is see her with another child her age and I quickly remember that I am kidding myself.
Yup.
I am grateful to Abby because she has given me a real gift: I do not take the little things for granted. Sensical language, imaginative play, the first time she said, "Look at me!" inviting me into her world, so cool. I hate autism and if I could take it away I would, in a second. But, I can't imagine Abby any other way either. Does that make sense? Autism is not all she is, but it is part of who she is and plays a role in shaping her sweet spirit, humor, and intellect.
Sometimes I think, maybe she is "normal". Then all I have to do is see her with another child her age and I quickly remember that I am kidding myself.
Yup.
I am grateful to Abby because she has given me a real gift: I do not take the little things for granted. Sensical language, imaginative play, the first time she said, "Look at me!" inviting me into her world, so cool. I hate autism and if I could take it away I would, in a second. But, I can't imagine Abby any other way either. Does that make sense? Autism is not all she is, but it is part of who she is and plays a role in shaping her sweet spirit, humor, and intellect.
POLLY2004
10-19-2004, 08:19 PM
Make a visual calender of his day,follow routines
mommame
10-28-2004, 11:20 PM
QuirkyMother:
We used to be a military family too and I really feel for you!
The thing that helps my son the most in dealing with changes is some kind of schedule. In fact, his daily schedules help him more than anything else. Anyway - maybe a calendar would help as a schedule. We use one anytime we need to prepare our child for any event coming up. We show him the calendar - what day it is, the day of the event, how many days until the event. Maybe you could show your child the day his dad is leaving so that he can expect it and then he can look forward to when he's coming back. If he's going to be gone for a long time, then maybe there could be other landmark events in between. First comes Thanksgiving in November, then Christmas in December, then daddy will be home on January 15. You get the idea. The calender is obviously visual which helps. My son likes to carry around his daily schedule but maybe his calendar you could put next to his bed or someplace where he could see it whenever he wants.
I hope this helps, it really helps our son. It seems to be very comforting to him.
We used to be a military family too and I really feel for you!
The thing that helps my son the most in dealing with changes is some kind of schedule. In fact, his daily schedules help him more than anything else. Anyway - maybe a calendar would help as a schedule. We use one anytime we need to prepare our child for any event coming up. We show him the calendar - what day it is, the day of the event, how many days until the event. Maybe you could show your child the day his dad is leaving so that he can expect it and then he can look forward to when he's coming back. If he's going to be gone for a long time, then maybe there could be other landmark events in between. First comes Thanksgiving in November, then Christmas in December, then daddy will be home on January 15. You get the idea. The calender is obviously visual which helps. My son likes to carry around his daily schedule but maybe his calendar you could put next to his bed or someplace where he could see it whenever he wants.
I hope this helps, it really helps our son. It seems to be very comforting to him.
ang64063
11-16-2004, 02:57 PM
Sorry for not getting back to you sooner about the Digestive Enzymes are used to break down glutens and caseins that are in our diet and makes them more easily digestable. It is also used to heal a condition common in children with Autism called Leaky Gut.
sweetbabe1955
11-19-2004, 07:22 PM
Hi Epsom salts helps Autistic children with Headaches & a digestive enzyme taken with food turns the food to liquid in the stomach .
It sounds like your son is a prime candidate for a Gluten & dairy free diet . I use Melatonin as well & when my child wakes during the night I give a further dose . I understand the highest dosage allowed is 10mg .
I also use digestive enzymes but only as a treat so my child can eat normally on a special occassion . MorEPA fish oils would also help him & calm him down as well .
It sounds like your son is a prime candidate for a Gluten & dairy free diet . I use Melatonin as well & when my child wakes during the night I give a further dose . I understand the highest dosage allowed is 10mg .
I also use digestive enzymes but only as a treat so my child can eat normally on a special occassion . MorEPA fish oils would also help him & calm him down as well .
pattyk32
11-22-2004, 05:33 PM
Like I could just spank the autism out of her.
I just had to pop in here, it's so nice to know that I'm not alone and that other parents have the same thoughts and feelings. This really made me smile. :wave: Thanks
I just had to pop in here, it's so nice to know that I'm not alone and that other parents have the same thoughts and feelings. This really made me smile. :wave: Thanks