fearfulfriend
10-11-2004, 01:18 AM
Hi, i've never written one of these forums before but it has really come down to it. My best friend is going out with a complete cociane addict. He's even started selling it to. The problem: she has know idea! i usually would stay out of a person's business, but because she is my best friend, i'm obligated to at least try to help her. her whole life, she has had asperations of going away to college next year. (we're only 17) But now that she's with this guy, she's beginning to think that the best thing for her is to stay close to him because she doesn't think she'll find anyone better. I'm worried because i've told her that he was using again. She wouldn't believe me as i suspected but she's fighting with me and practically begging me to agree with her that he is clean. Her boyfriend even called me yelling and threatening me. I guess what i'm asking is advice on how to get her to see the truth. Are there any signs that i might be able to tell her to at least look for? please, she's becoming more and more distant and if i don't figure out something soon, ill lose her completely.
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bharkins
10-11-2004, 04:02 AM
Yes, tell her to look for:
dilated pupils, sweating,weight loss, chronic sinutitis, insomnia, sexual dysfunction, mood changes, argumentative episodes, "chatty", lies.
dilated pupils, sweating,weight loss, chronic sinutitis, insomnia, sexual dysfunction, mood changes, argumentative episodes, "chatty", lies.
feelbad
10-11-2004, 07:35 AM
Hopefully she will wake up and smell the coffee so you wont have to end up losing your friend over this.But when someone is 'in love"they tend to only see the good not the bad(look how many women stay in horribly abusive relationships?).I am sure that since you brought this up, she has to be considering the possibility,but to admit it would kind of burst her bubble,you know what i mean?Is there any way that she could actually witness his use somehow?How do you know that he is actually using?i am not doubting what you are saying here, I would just like to know how you became aware of this.you need to tell your friend to not make any decisions on her future while there is this question hanging over the relationship.Just tell her that,"okay,I have told you what i know, you do not want to believe me,because i know that it would really hurt your relationship with-----,to do so.But please promise me that until we know for sure just what he is up to, you wont make any big decisions regarding your relationship,okay?"and tell her to look for all of the signs that Bharkins has stated above, he/she has hit it right on the nose with regard to the basic signs of a coke user.All you can do is be there for her and hope that she will see what you see in this jerk.You might have to just stand back for awhile and not keep the pressure on her about this(hard to do I know)She will eventually see this guy for what he is.You have planted the seed in her mind,and no matter how much she tries and deny it, she has to be thinking about this from time to time.just be prepared to be there for her when things hit the fan with this relationship.Your friend will relly need your support.And please don't tell her "I told you so" that will just kill her you know?Good luck and let us know how this all goes.Marcia

