Hi there. I have adult ADD and looking back, have had it my whole life. I am on Concerta for it and doing pretty well. My family has a history of ADD as well - both my parents and my brother.

I have 4 children and was hoping that they could escape this. There was a mention of my son having it but we didn't have him tested. He seems to be doing a little better now that he's older (10), but still has some major organization problems.

My concern is my 7 year old daughter. Ever since kindergarten we hae heard from teachers about how slow she is at getting her work done. I kept thinking she would grow out of it. But now she's in 2nd grade and it is really starting to cause problems. She misses recess almost every day because she is finishing up her work. She is always the last one to finish, and sometimes she has to bring schoolwork home and do it in addition to her homework. Part of it is that she is a perfectionist, and can't figure out a medium ground - quickly and good, not slowly and perfect.

But also she has expressed concern about how she can't concentrate. She says that everyone in the room is talking and distracting her, and that's why it's taking her so long. We even tried moving her away from a particularly talkative girl, but that didn't help. At home she's the same. If she's in one room and the tv is on in another, it's hard for her to focus. Or if people are talking , or whatever. This has become distressful t her, since her work takes so much longer, given all the distractions and the extra time it takes to get back on track.

I really wanted to avoid medications. I wanted to avoid a stigma. I hate the thought of all that. She isn't hyper at all (then again, neither am I) but she has always been the daydreamer. Even when she was a baby we would joke that she's off in "Heather Land".

Any opinions would be great. Thanks!

Hmmm...

I can see why you aren't sure what is going on with your daughter! The perfectionist tendencies don't sound like ADD but the easy distraction does.


The first thing that I would try for her is headphones - either alone or with "white noise" to help drown out the noise in her environment. She sounds very sensitive to sound.

I don't think it's uncommon for kids her age to struggle with the issue of whether to do their work slowly and well and to go faster and to sacrifice accuracy. I wonder if the counselor at school has some suggestions for dealing with this. Or perhaps a more experienced second grade teacher - like maybe the head of the department. Her present teacher's solution of making her miss recess and/or take work home doesn't seem to be working very well.

I really wanted to avoid medications. I wanted to avoid a stigma. I hate the thought of all that. She isn't hyper at all (then again, neither am I) but she has always been the daydreamer. Even when she was a baby we would joke that she's off in "Heather Land".

If she is missing recess and after-school social activities, believe me, she WILL be stigmatized. Since you have a family history of ADD, you are probably already familiar with the inattentive-type that does not produce hyperactivity. If not, please research this, and the long-term affect it has on girls. (BTW, I think perfectionism might be a symptom) Of course, your daughter may just be having trouble adjusting to her school environment, or there may be other things going on that you don't know about. Even if you don't get your children tested, I would get a book on how to help your kids manage their problems. It is especially important for them to be socially accepted. And they'll need to have honed these skills before they are in high school and college, or their grades could drop. I was an A student in 2nd grade. By middle school I was slightly above average, and in high school it was a struggle to maintain average and I had NO friends. College was such a burden I hated to get out of bed in the mornings. I wish I had been diagnosed and treated (not necessarily with medication) as a child, 'cause I'm kind of messed up as an adult. I'm having to learn things I should have learned when I was 7, like how to make decisions...how to talk to people without being wierd...how to actually finish something that I start. Please help your daughter AND your son, because these things can so easily go un-noticed until it's too late. Well I guess it's never too late, but MAN I wish I could do it all over again, knowing what I know now about ADD...and I'd start over in about the second grade. By the way...2 sets of twins???? Wow, bravo! How do you do it? And with ADD, it must be tough.

Thanks for the replies. You're right, it shouldn't go ignored, and I wish I didn't have the problems I do now. Maybe it could have been helped if we had dealt with it in childhood.

Yes I have two sets of twins. My ADD combined with two 7 year olds and two 10 year olds....utter chaos.