My Dad died when I was in 9th grade (Age 15) I believe that I have a strange problem on my hands: I can't remember anything of my Dad's funural or wake. I mean, there are little bit's and peices that I remember, but not big parts at all. I don't remember even being told that my Dad died, except being woken up by my Grandmother.
And I also have a follow up memory problem: I always forget my Dad is dead. He died almost three years ago, and I just called him to see if we were still coming over this weekend (my parents were divorced when I was 9, and my Dad had everyother weekend custody.) Whenever people talk to me about where my Dad lives or something, i'll just say, oh, St. Paul without thinking twice, and then some closer freinds will be like, umm... Via?
MY real question is, would anyone recommend therapy or something? It really doesn't affect my day-to-day life, so I'm kindof anti-therapy.
Thanks, Vanessa

Bless your heart. My dad died 3 years ago when I was 47. I can't imagine having had him die when I was just growing into being a woman.

I don't think it's so odd at all what you are going through. My dad died of cancer, and I learned one important thing at my Hospice grief group...
"Everybody grieves in their own time & in their own way".

Think about it - think about how your brothers & sisters (if you have them), your mom and even your Dad's parents dealt with it. Probably all different!

One thing that really helped me was to write my Dad letters.
I just tell him what I'm doing, what's going on in my life, how much I miss him, and if I was in your shoes I'd tell him about the guys I'm dating & how much I wish he could be there in person rather than just in spirit on my wedding day.
Give it a try if you want -
And maybe not counseling yet, it's your Dad that died - you're expected to have things to deal with as far as I'm concerned - but check in your phonebook & see if you have a Hospice group in your area.
They have free grief groups and you don't have to even have had your loved one in hospice. They are very practical mtgs - how to deal with holidays, people who say the OH so wrong thing (like "You have to move on dear" Ugh) everything you can imagine.

And in the meantime, we all can have our own grief group right here, ok?
Tell me something, a favorite memory?, of your Dad.
(One of mine is when I was a little girl & would "dance" with him by standing on top of his feet while he walked around!)
:angel:

Hello Vanessa, I lost my father at the same age, & my parents were so young when they started our faimly, that my mother was widowed, & her children fatherless & age 35, 17 & 15 (me), I turned 15 the week the before he passed away. Oh yes, there is so much that I do not recall, & this was over 23 years ago. But I also recall being your age, & being fuzzy on details as well. I think its a self protective thing. someplace within our minds, he still is alive & there. Is there any major changes going on in your world right now?, (new school, job, boyfriend?) Oh & to Ruth, "The dancing on his feet", is also one of my best memories, along with, My parents made a reservation at a fancy place & dressed me up in a floor lenth gown, & my father took me on my "first date "(I was 9), they wanted me to have the little girl memory, & I can still recall how the other patrons remarked on the bond that was apparent. Since then, my Mother remarried, my step father bacame my Dad, (I already had a father, but he gained just as much respect & love), a brother & a sister. So my little faimly grew more than I ever thought it could. Sad to say, since 1996, I have lost in order, my sister to cancer, (mother of 2), Son who was 6 1/2, long story but had manymany medical troubles staring with his heart, someday I will go into detail on this board, Then my "Dad" to cancer,(Mother widowed again at an early age, but they did have almost 20 years together), then my brother to ALS, (father of 3, the youngest was only 2), & now its the 3 of us again, but my brother is waiting for a liver transplant as we speak. I am disabled with rare tumors, depression the whole kit. My Mother is healthy but refuses to go to a Dr. But life does go on. I have been in your shoes, you reached out here, & thats a good thing, just talking, & relating does help, keep me posted my peace & love is sent in your direction, Kirsten :angel: