Hi guys, I have a quick questions I am curious about. Little history, my husband has type 2 genital has for over 20 years. I do not. His outbreaks are few and far between now but when he does they are usually near his anus. When he was younger that was not the case, usually his penis. But anyway if he were shedding or about to get an outbreak near his anus would he also have the virus present on his penis? We are trying to get pregnant but want to be careful. ;) thanks!

Backpacker or anyone, Do you know?

It's tough to say----- you would like to think that the shedding would only occur near where the sore was going to appear, but I think it's hard to know for sure. If is OBs are few and far between, you may want to abstain no matter where the OB is just be safe!

The anus is so close to the rest down there that I wouldn't take the chance. The best, safest policy is never to have sex when the other has or might be having an ob. (My ob's have also migrated over the years back toward my anus. Weird.)

About getting pregnant, it's easier if you know when you ovulate. I learned this from the midwives after having my first baby. It's different for different women, but generally after your period ends you check yourself every day for the type of mucous in your vagina. (Disclaimer: All those uninterested read no further.) I put two fingers up inside, then take them out and look while separating them. White, pasty (like the old paste used in preschool) mucous or very little mucous means nothing is happening yet. Mucous that looks and feels like raw egg whites means you are going to ovulate soon. Keep checking every day. When the mucous changes back to pasty or nothing, it means you ovulated the day before. So if you're trying to get pregnant, try to have sex any time during the egg-white mucous stage, or within a couple of days of ovulation. Of course, your body may be different, may be harder to tell than with mine. And a warning to those who may decide to use this for birth control: some months you may ovulate twice, and from the fourth day of your period until four days after the day of ovulation it is definitely not safe.

Good luck, lbp!

MRA & backpacker,

Thank you guys so much! I was just concerned that if he were having prodrome (near his anus) and he wasn't aware of it and we had unprotected sex how risky would that be? His prodrome used to be pretty obvious but his last outbreak in January came pretty much without warning.So it was just a though.

Backpacker,
thank you so much about the trying to conceive thing! I was always confused about that. Like when you have the watery type discharge are you ovulating or will you be in a few days? Also I know from reading your posts you don't take valtrex. My husband has been to reduce transmission, do you think this helps or do you think his body has a handle on the shedding thing? Thank you so much! :bouncing:

I really don't know anything about Valtrex or chances of transmission. I just try to be as safe as I can with my guy. I would still wash up the best you can after sex--even though it doesn't seem like it would work, most women do seem to get ob's on the outside, not the inside--like me. I wonder if I could have avoided contracting herpes if I had simply washed always after sex with my ex.

The Valtrex is so personal a decision, and I know so little about it, that I can't give a creditable opinion.

Hi folks I get a '' diaper rash'' type thing on my buttocks. It hurts but looks red and not the same as my genital herpes. Could this possibly genital herpes that has spread?

The anus is so close to the rest down there that I wouldn't take the chance. The best, safest policy is never to have sex when the other has or might be having an ob. (My ob's have also migrated over the years back toward my anus. Weird.)

About getting pregnant, it's easier if you know when you ovulate. I learned this from the midwives after having my first baby. It's different for different women, but generally after your period ends you check yourself every day for the type of mucous in your vagina. (Disclaimer: All those uninterested read no further.) I put two fingers up inside, then take them out and look while separating them. White, pasty (like the old paste used in preschool) mucous or very little mucous means nothing is happening yet. Mucous that looks and feels like raw egg whites means you are going to ovulate soon. Keep checking every day. When the mucous changes back to pasty or nothing, it means you ovulated the day before. So if you're trying to get pregnant, try to have sex any time during the egg-white mucous stage, or within a couple of days of ovulation. Of course, your body may be different, may be harder to tell than with mine. And a warning to those who may decide to use this for birth control: some months you may ovulate twice, and from the fourth day of your period until four days after the day of ovulation it is definitely not safe.

Good luck, lbp!


i never get this right so you are saying that after the first day of your period until about 2 weeks later that is a sensitive time?? I would really like to understand this pregnancy thing so that I will have it under control and not panic for no reason if I find my self in this type of situation. Ok I was reading somewhere that the most fertile days are 12 -15 in a normal cycle and sperm can live anywhere from 3-5 days. So for example if my period started on the 15th the most fertile time would be from the 19-2 or the 26-29 give or take a few days??and if I had sex with in those days that would be good if I was trying t concieve??

MRA,

That would be my guess too but with this virus you never know.We never do anything when there is an ob but I just wondered since his sores have moved to the anus area would he be shedding from the whole area.The lady at the herpes hotline says shedding mostly happens in the first 2-3 years after the initial.She said my husband is a low risk partner since he has had it for over 20 years.What do you think?

Anna, I never get this right either...LOL I am not sure if it is the "wet" days or shortly after???

news flash I just thought that I would post this just to tell you guys what I kinda put together. I was doing some reaearch on the net along with the info that I learned here. Disclaimer*****this will get graphic. I was trying to find out some info from the previous post about ovulation and here is what I found out. That little pre-cramping that I though was an early warrinning that my period was comming on is actuallt ovulation, I mean I guess that it is still a warrning that it is comming, but I really did not think enough to think that that was my ovulation sign. I read some web sites that described this as warrning signs and along with the time frame questions I guess this would fall right in place. And when I went to the bathroom I wipped and the mucus was clear and stretchy like something that it was described as. I really did test with my fingers because I did not think that it was necessary if it was on the tissue. So I have concluded that I am OVULATING NOW!!!
But how long does this last? I guess this would be a good time to try to concieve or a bad time to have sex.

I wonder if I could have avoided contracting herpes if I had simply washed always after sex with my ex.
.

Ok...like this is the 10th time I've seen someone mention that you should "wash up" after sex to avoid catching herpes?? That is ridiculous! Its not like the Herpes just sits there on top of your skin waiting for you to wash it off. Once you get exposed to the viral particles...they enter into your skin and begin the infection process...PERIOD.

Remember, we are talking about MICROSCOPIC PARTICLES here...

Seems like there are two subjects going on here. As far as the herpes transmission, I have had herpes for 19 years now and never given it to a partner ( knock on wood). For the last 8-9 years I get only one or two ob a year, and always in the anus area. I think that it would be much more difficult for me to give someone herpes at this point as compared to when I first contracted it. There is still that small chance, so I am careful to not engage in sex if I have tingling or blisters present. I do have sex if the blisters have popped, shed and basically healed, but there is still a little redness in the area.
Best wishes on conceiving!

If washing were ridiculous, and microorganisms worked that fast, then it would be no use to wash your hands after going to the bathroom or being exposed to colds. But it's been proven to help avoid many kinds of disease. So has douching your nasal cavities with warm salt water. Germs have to fight past your defenses, and one single virus or bacterium will not make you sick; they have to be present in enough force to overwhelm your immune system enough to get an infection going. The reason your mother told you to wash your hands was not that washing would kill every single germ that was present, but to give your body a fighting chance to resist infection by decreasing the strength of the invading force. Also, you wash for more than 20 seconds because the soap penetrates your tissues and kills germs under the surface, not just on top.

Why in the world would anyone avoid giving his body the best chance he could against an invading army of germs, especially when it is such an easy precaution?

I do want to emphasize, however, that there's always a chance of contagion with herpes. But there are many things you can do to tilt the chances a little more in your favor, such as keeping your immune system strong through exercise, eating right, and getting enough sleep; not having sex with a person with h when you know your immune system is weak or busy, such as when you are getting a cold; avoiding rough sex that tears your tissues; avoiding sex when you have scrapes or cuts on your genitals; washing up afterwards; using lubrication; practicing stress management; add your own...

[QUOTE=backpacker]If washing were ridiculous, and microorganisms worked that fast, then it would be no use to wash your hands after going to the bathroom or being exposed to colds. But it's been proven to help avoid many kinds of disease. So has douching your nasal cavities with warm salt water. Germs have to fight past your defenses, and one single virus or bacterium will not make you sick; they have to be present in enough force to overwhelm your immune system enough to get an infection going. The reason your mother told you to wash your hands was not that washing would kill every single germ that was present, but to give your body a fighting chance to resist infection by decreasing the strength of the invading force. Also, you wash for more than 20 seconds because the soap penetrates your tissues and kills germs under the surface, not just on top.
QUOTE]

But there is a difference. First off...Herpes cannot survive in the open air...which is why you can't get it from toilet seats, door knobs, towels, etc. It requires direct skin-to-skin contact. It infects you through the skin of your genitals/mouth.

Bacteria and cold viruses are different...they can and do survive on open-air surfaces (door handles, toilet seats, cups, etc.) For example, the flu virus has been shown to live for up to 3 days on a metal door handle. The reason you wash your hands is to get rid of germs (esp. bacteria) which CAN survive on the surface of your skin...so that you don't somehow introduce the germs into your nose/mouth inadvertently. (You know...touch a door handle with germs, then stick your fingers in your mouth for one reason or another). The way those germs infect you is if they get into your nasal or oral mucous membranes. You don't get immediately infected when you touch a door-knob with germs on it...you have to transfer the germs to your oral cavities somehow first. On the other hand, the moment your genitals come into direct contact with herpes viral particles, if theres enough of a micro-tear for them to penetrate your skin...you're infected.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that washing doesn't hurt. But you shouldn't lead people to believe that it can help them keep from transmitting it when used on its own. There is NO SUBSTITUTE for suppressive Valtrex and barrier protection.

Those were just two examples of when you should wash, and certainly were not exhaustive. You also wash wounds out to avoid infection, and there are many kinds of infectious agents, some of which live on the skin and some of which don't; none of which you want to live in or on your body. According to your theory, you should be infected immediately. But no infection is instantaneous, and your body can fight and destroy the herpes virus so that it doesn't reach your ganglia just as it fights and destroys all invading organisms of every sort every day. Not everyone who is exposed to herpes ends up with it. I'm pretty sure that after 13 years my guy has been exposed to it now and then, one way or another. But our many precautions (not just washing) have helped him resist infection.

I don't think anybody here has ever advocated washing on its own as a means of avoiding transmission.

Not to be too strident, sorry. It's certainly true that washing up is only a small part of staying healthy. But there's a lot we don't know about herpes, and it doesn't make sense to talk yourself out of doing something that may help, and may help a lot.

[QUOTE=backpacker]



I do want to emphasize, however, that there's always a chance of contagion with herpes.QUOTE]

What is that?? and is the information that I have concluded about the whole ovulation deal right or do I need to go back to the drawing board about this?? c-ya

All I meant, annabananna, is what you know: no matter how careful you are during sex (I was talking about sex at the time, not about childbirth), there is always a tiny chance your partner may get it, and that's why you have to be so honest and let them decide whether to take the chance or not.

About ovulating, this is what I learned a long time ago: You are safe until the third or fourth day of your period (depending only on if your flow is still going--if your period has stopped, assume that your body is doing something weird, or that the time frame is different for you.) After that you may get pregnant, so be careful or go for it, depending on what you want. As soon as the flow has pretty much stopped, start testing once or twice a day for your mucous. When you start getting the raw-egg-white type mucous, you will ovulate soon--you are not ovulating yet, but it is a few days away. Test every day. When the mucous changes back to pasty or near nothing, you have ovulated the day before. In other words, you ovulate on the last day of egg-white mucous. Keep testing because your body may do something weird, like ovulate twice that month. But barring that, five days after you ovulate (count like this: day of ovulation, then day 1 is day after ovulation, day 2, day 3, day 4; day 5 is your first infertile day) you are no longer fertile. You can stop using protection until the fourth day of your next period. So it goes: fertile from the fifth day of your period until the fifth day after you ovulate; figure out when you ovulate as the last day of the egg-white mucous.

Yes, sperm generally live only a couple of days, but the egg-white mucous is designed by nature to prolong its life, so don't count on that.

Sometimes I get so much mucous it's obvious, and other months I have to actually squeeze my cervix with the two fingers to see. It changes a lot. Don't get too overconfident or lazy if you use this method! Just keep checking. This is another reason I douche with salt water after sex--I don't want his stuff interfering with my mucous reading.