I've told a little bit of my story but will refresh. I had a triple bi-pass Aug 26th, smoked cigarettes for 32 years, which as of the 26th, I quit. But have had diabetes for several years. My blood sugar numbers didnt used to be so high because of instead of eating, I smoked. Now that I'm not smoking, my last reading was 526. It's a brand new meter so saying my meter is off isn't an excuse for me. I'm going through depression in the most horrible way. Crying and carrying the hopeless feeling around all day. I know that if I don't get the diabetes under control, I'm asking for a deathwish. I was told the bi-pass isn't a cure, just a prevention. I know in my heart that if I don't get those numbers down, I'm going to corrupt my heart again. Knowing all of this is killing me and knowing if I can ever find complete control over all my health problems. Has anyone gone down this road and if so would you mind sharing your road to salvation. I need help and am terrified. If knowing someone else has been down this road and succeeded, this would give me mulitudes of hope. Sorry for the long post. I just need someone to talk too thats been through the same thing. Mama Kay...

Mama Kay,
The first thing you need to do is find a good therapist, probably a psychiatrist, although a psychologist or M.S.W. who can refer you to a psychiatrist for medication would be fine. You absolutely need to get the depression under control so that you will have the strength to cope with all of these other health issues. And please believe that you CAN get the depression under control with help.

Second, you need to make an appointment with an endocrinologist for advice on handling your diabetes. If you're not already on medications for the diabetes, you need to be. You should also ask the endo for a referral to a Registered Dietician who can help you learn to manage your food intake better. You may even want to try a hypnotist to help you get rid of the cravings. I understand that you quit cigarettes because of the bypass surgery, not because you had decided that you wanted to quit, and that makes it a lot tougher, believe me (I've been in both places...quitting for someone or something else, quitting because I truly wanted to quit...the latter is MUCH easier, in my opinion!).

MANY people develop depression after any serious medical problem, and it's a quite common occurrence after open heart surgery or bypass surgery. Don't delay in getting help.

Ruth

Thanks Ruth for the honesty as I do know that I do need help. It feels like my whole life has been altered and its something that I did not choose but was forced to do. The cigarette cravings drive me nuts, which right now I'm on the patches. I am on insulin for the diabetes. I just need the control and will to do what I have to do. The depression is something that I've never had to deal with and its driving me nuts. I'm Ok one minute and crying the next. My daughter did take me to a PC to try and get help for the depression. He called it anxiety because of the surgery and all the changes that have gone on. He has given me two weeks then if things aren't better, he will recommend me to a doctor for help with the depression. Just knowing that I'm not alone and others have been through the same thing and came out winners, gives me lots of hope. Thanks for your caring and reply. Mama Kay

For a while i was depress, i really can't say why. I guess it was the diabetes, then i was diagnosed with high cholesterol and on top of all that my bp was all over the place. I became really allergic to my bp meds i had been on for many yrs. I felt hopeless. On top of all this and fighting with my drs, i felt like giving up and letting what ever happen just happen.

Bucz im a fighter i knew that wasn't the answer. Im back on track and have a new gp and a new endo. I have joined a new diabetes team and should be back in range again. Some blood pressure meds can cause glucose readings to get out of wack, but my gp never told me this. Im off hctz and toprol xl and should be back to normal in a month or two. O yes, i now volunteer to help others with baby sitting needs 2 days out the week. This gets my mind off my problems for awhile. I can't stand more than 2 day though.

JT, maybe this is whats happening with blood sugars. I am fixing to freak you out but this is the meds I take everyday.

Bumetanide 2 mg -replacement for lasix- I was gaining 4 lbs a day on the lasic after surgery
Spironollactone- 25 mg- excess water and loss of potassium
asprin- for the heart
Plavix 75 mg- to keep arterys open
Linsinopril 10 mg-blood pressure
potassium cl 10
toprol xl 25 mg
lipitor 40 mg
hydrocodone 7/500
Diazepam 10 mg
Nitro Quick for immediate help with heart attacks

With all this JT, I've also had the thoughts, why go through all of this, maybe the end would be better, then I get to thinking about all the people I love. This is hard. I want everyone to know that I WILL NOT do anything stupid. Just hearing that others have gone through and conquered these health issues sure help. Maybe half the meds I take a day is causing the high bs. I do believe I need a good endo working with my cardiologist. Mama Kay

MamaK, i can empathize. I was on lipitor, zetia, lisinopril, toprol xl, verapamil, hctz, lantus, humalog, baby asprin, and levothroid for thyroid. I've had two heart attacks. Last month, i went to Er due to severe chest pains. I quit smoking after being released. I almost gave up, bcuz i felt nobody understood my problems with all those meds. I was ok with the diabetes, but when they threw high cholesterol in the mix, and my lifestyle changes (diet & exercise and weight loss) didn't help, that's when i really became depressed.

God put me here for a high purpose. Although i can't work anymore (first time in 35 yrs) i know i can do something to help other people. I take care of other people and forgot to take time for me. Im still a little depress bcuz i will be seeing a new cardio dr next month. I hope she can prescribe a blood pressure pill that won't cause my glucose readings and cholesterol to rise like hctz did. Lisinopril is a good bp med but i've become allergic to it after 7 or 8 yrs.

I am so scare of having another heart attack. In the ER they asked me if i had any phobia, well duh yes HEART ATTACK. I had a good endo but he went back to Russia, now im looking for a new one. Hang in there and if you get depress come to this board. Im sure we are not the only ones suffering with depression. Im not big on taking meds, but will if i need to. I come out of my depression by helping others with their problems. I can't wait until my longer brother moves here with his new baby. She will be my play toy. Kids always brings me out of my slump.

JT, YOU'VE already helped me by letting me know that I'm not alone. This makes my second heart attack also and the wierd thing is that I didn't know about the first one. The EEG found that one, which the doctor says was 6 months to a year ago. He said having diabetes could of kept me from having pain while the attack was happening. In the meds, I forgot to mention the Novilin R and Lantus. I keep those in the fridge. Thank you for sharing and your right, helping others heaps blessings on your head. I also have the fear of another major attack especially with my BS being out of control but in praying today. I gave it all to the Lord. I feel as he's already answering my prayers. I've met you and Ruth. You are both already a blessing to me. Mama Kay

Mamak and JT -
When one is depressed, it's hard to imagine that ANYTHING is worthwhile. Having been through two major depressions in my lifetime, I certainly understand that feeling. However, once you get help, (and admittedly it sometimes takes a bit of trial and error with meds), the depression will lift and life, despite all its complications, will once again seem so very precious again.

It may be difficult to do, but we all need to put illness in perspective. It's not, "God, why me?" but rather, "Why not me?". And there is always someone worse off than you...just go look at the cancer boards and you'll realize that we don't have it ALL that bad.

I've had high BP since I was 30 due to a renal problem, I've been on tons of medication for years, developed diabetes at 38, had a heart attack at 39, developed fibromyalgia at 41, was treated for cancer three years ago, and I'm still going strong! My cousin had an aortic aneurism (same thing John Ritter died of) two years ago and, as a result of the surgery that saved his life, became completely blind. He is still enjoying life and would be the first to tell you that he'd rather be blind than dead. He has said that he's not afraid to die anymore, but he sure is going to enjoy the heck out of life as long as he's still here!

So, I guess perspective is everything, huh?

Ruth

Ruth what words of wisdom you speak. I've done the why me, thank you Lord it's nots worse, the whole bit. Deep down I know my problem. I don't want diabetes. I don't want heart problems, I want to go do the things I want to do without limitations. This is a self will thing and I know very ridicolous (sp). I feel that everything thats happened is a wake call because I don't want to die either. I have a wonderful husband, 4 kids and 8 grandchildren. I know once in my heart that I accept my conditions, I will be alright. Right now, it's the learning how, the motivation, the will to live with what I've been dealt. I do believe that after I get the depression under control, I'll have the incentive to what I have to do. Now I need to go find a doctor. Thanks for your help. Mama Kay

Mama Kay,
You may want to also look for a local support group for diabetes, or for people who've had bypass surgery. It's tremendously helpful to talk to others who are going through the same thing you are.

Please do find a good endo, and keep us posted on your progress. I'll leave you with some other words of wisdom, spoken by John Lennon many years ago: "Life is what happens while you're making other plans."

This IS our life, and we must find the strength to go on living it!

Ruth

Mamak, I have only read through part of this thread, and I can totally sympathize with all you are going through. But I am going to take a somewhat tactical approach in offering advice, so please understand that it is not that I don't feel for what you are enduring, but I want to try to offer some help to you quickly.

First, you absolutely must see and Endocrinologist and a Dietitian to help you address the diabetes. I believe you mentioned that you are a type 2 diabetic. There are steps you can take that will help you get well and I believe you need to focus on doing WHATEVER is necessary to improve you health. The sooner the better. And also know that the sooner you take action, the sooner you will feel well, and the sooner you will be motivated to continue trying, and the sooner you will not even remember how bad you actually felt at your worst. I am not saying that you can absolutely cure yourself without medications or the help of doctors - you probably cannot. But still there is much that YOU CAN do to help your body get well.

The first thing I would recommend to you is that you focus on decreasing your toxic load. Let me explain - your body is currently in turmoil - from the surgery, all the medications you are on, the diabetes, etc etc etc. Your body is struggling to stay well. A normal, healthy body has the ability to fight off toxins, but an unhealthy body does not. So what might be considered a normal level of toxic exposure to a healthy person is probably making YOUR body sicker.

Most of the toxins I am referring to exist in what you consume. All chemical additives, preservatives, ingredients you cannot pronounce, coffee, alcohol, etc. are actually perceived by your liver as poisons that must be flushed out of your system. But I assure you, given your current state of health and all the meds you are on, your liver is NOT functioning at full capacity - it is overburdened right now, so its not doing a great job of keeping your body detoxified.

There are a few problems this creates. First of all, when your toxic load is high you can start to feel depressed and unable to cope - some of this is emotional, but some is chemical and metabolic in nature. Secondly, your liver plays a HUGE role in how efficiently your body metabolizes glucose. So an inefficient liver can and will cause your diabetes to worsen. Actually your liver is the control center for your metabolism, so a burdened liver will also cause cholesterol to increase, muscles to weaken, stress and anxiety to elevate, and lots more.

The good news you can control this to some degree. By omitting everything in your power that burdens your liver, you can give it a break and give your body a chance to heal. What I am suggesting is that you omit ANYTHING and EVERYTHING from your diet that is NOT completely natural with the exception of your required medications. This means drinking only water (no sodapop, coffee, alcohol, juice, or other diet beverages), no prepared convenience foods, no deli meats, no processed cheese slices, no soups, gravies, sauces, no bread, crackers, prepared snacks. Read labels - stick to natural ingredients. Buy fresh meat, fish and poultry, whole grains, fruits, veggies. Be careful with dairy products like cheese, cottage cheese, and yogurt - read the labels and do not buy those with chemicals additives or preservatives.

You may think I am a nutcase, but I am telling you this strategy WORKS - you will start to feel better within 2 weeks and you will notice that your glucose levels will start to stabilze and your cholesterol will improve. Your depression, anxiety, and stress will lessen. Your energy levels will increase.

You have nothing to lose by giving this a try.

I just reread some older posts and was reminded that you currenly do not have insurance. All the more reason to try my suggestion - because it is something that you can do on your own, without risk or cost.

I do recommend that you investigate reduced cost healthcare options. Is there a teaching hospital in your area? If so, you might be able to get some free care. Also you can find out if there are any local programs specifically for assisting diabetics without insurance.

JD, thanks for the advice and I know your right. I've abused my body for so long now and didn't care. Then I get into trouble and its like the sky is falling. My daughter had a doctors appointment yesterday and I came up in their visits. My daughter wanting to know what all the depression is about. I've always been a person who falls off a horse and gets right back on. The doctor explanined to her that when the heart and lungs are put into a machine while being operated on, a chemical imbalance happens. With stopping cigarettes after 32 years, and how yuk you can feel when your diabetes is out of control. JD, she also brought up the problems with the liver, so you hit the nail on the head. The resentment of all this happening worked its game on me too. As for now, I'm trying Paxil CR and with hopes, the med will encourage me to look the problems in the face and beat them. I don't like pills but I don't like despair either. I am going to win and I appreciate you being around. Mama Kay

I forgot to mention that I'm type 1. A shot before meals and 2 at night before bedtime. Another heartbreaker from not taking care of myself. While being at type 2, I was in denial. What a dummy I've been with my life. Mama Kay

I also wanted to ask what your diet is like? I know many diabetics who rely soley on meds and/or insulin for control - but diet is SOOOOO important. Asside from my previous post about healing your liver, there are many diet strategies that will help you feel better.

Depression and anxiety can be a symptom of poor glucose control. You have to remember that your entire endocrine system uis tied together - so glucose levels affect your adrenal function which affects your stress level and your ability to cope.

IMO the last thing in the world you need right now is more medication. It is very possible that all the existing meds you are on are contributing to your ill-health. Don't misunderstand - I realize your meds are necessary, but they do not come without consequences.

There are natural ways to combat depression and it's certainly worth giving a try. Combined with my previous suggestions there is no doubt in my mind that you will begin to feel dramatically better in a rather short period of time.

There are several nuerotransmitters associated with clinical depression. Under normal conditions and in optimum health, the body produces adequate amounts of these neurotransmitters. But a depletion of these neurotransmitters can occur as a result of vitamin, mineral, or macronutrient defciencies, or from other imbalances in your body chemistry (in your case, perhaps all the other meds you are taking) Depression medications synthesize the production of nuerotransmitters artificially. Supplements and improved diet can regulate the production of neurostransmitters naturally.

High doses of Vitamin C can increase the production of norepinephrine, the neurotransmitter most closely tied to clinical depression, alertness, and memory. You can take 6000 mg of vitamin C per day (split into 2000 mg taken 3X per day).

Lecithin, which contains choline, will trigger the production of acetylcholine. Acetylcholine is the neurostranmitter which facilitates digestion, breathing, heart rate, and relaxation. Yoy can get lecithin from soy and eggs, but usually not enough. Lecithin capsules are also not recommended because they don't provide enough and are expensive. The recommended way to take lecithin is in the form of granules - 3 tablespoons per day. Tastes terrible but can be stirred into food.

Serotonin is the neurotransmitter associated with mellow, calm, and feelings of well-being. In fact the popular drugs paxil and prozac artificially increase serotonin levels. Tryptophan is converted into serotonin in the brain, and can be found in a variety of foods. The best sources of tryptophan include brewers yeast, soybeans, nuts and seeds (specifically cashews and pumpkin, sesame, and sunflower seeds), wheat germ, cheese, and dark meat poultry. Tryptophan remains illegal as a packaged supplement.

Vitamin B-6 can work as a natural all-around anti-depressant, improving nerve function in general. About 200 mg of B-6 combined with a B-complex supplement will be quite effective.

Again, these strategies will not work instantly, but may cause you to see great improvements within 2-4 weeks. As I mentioned before, the sooner you take action, the sooner you will feel better, and the sooner you will forget what you felt like at your worst.

JD, your correct in asking about the foods I eat, and because of ignorance I know that all my choices are not the best. I eat 2 scrambled eggs with 2 pieces of bacon. I was told that was low carb, but with my heart problem, the eggs probably need to go. Then for lunch, its usually a salad with grilled chicken, sometimes the chicken being on a bun. For dinner a piece of meat, salad, green beans and sometimes corn. This is the menu for a trying day for diet. I have failed on days eating something craved, knowing its not the best option. My diet does need to change. I don't have insurance but have gotten into our County Hospital with a great doctor. I see him Nov 11th and will ask for a dietician and endo for help.

I would so much rather take vitamins than these hard drugs but after the heart attack, I'm scared to death to not take one of those hated pills every morning because of the heart attack. I hate pills. And I think so much of the depression is fear of dying or another heart attack, stroke, or whatever else comes along. A nurse told me that the triple bypass was not a cure, she said its a preventative, so if the sugar level stays out of control, my heart will do the same thing again. Boom another wake up call.

My depression leads up to a total lifestyle change and until (today), I wasn't ready to change. I wanted things on my terms. I know now that I have no choice, if I want to live, or not be blind, have kidney problems or another heart attack, I have to change. I am very stubborn and being that, I've felt so defeated. DEPRESSED!!!!

I want to say something to you, you have motivated me. Shown me that someone cares enough to give me ideas, plant seeds, and help me to healthier living and life. I have printed out the vitamin post and believe soon, that I can do the natural things for my body besides taking all these drugs with their horrible side effects. Thank JD for caring. The things you post have not gone to waste and your time is so much appreciated. So Much!!!!!!

Hi Mama K,
Would like to know your age. How many years a diabetic? About depression: ALL STATIN DRUGS CAN CAUSE DEPRESSION, MENTAL FATIGUE, ANXIETY, PSYCHOSIS, IRRATIONAL ANGER. Zettia made my wife mean as a she devil. Lipitor made my best friend paranoid as well as mean. The list of physical side effects and affects for statin drugs is amazing, but no one mentions the mental affects. Have you noticed yourself being forgetful???especially short term memory forgetful? I'll be writing more about this in a later post. Hang tough....Oldguy

OUCH!! I posted this under the wrong person. Please disregard, (unless you are on statin drugs).

Hi Oldguy, Your absolutely right on the statin (sp) drug. I'm not mean but the depression is horrible. Just too much crying and hopeless feelings. I am doing better because I'm on an anti-depressant now. With all the drugs I'm taking its a wonder I have a mind at all. Getting my diabetes in control is one of the things that frustrates me to no end. This week I've managed to stay in the 200's but the week before, my blood sugar levels were in the 500's. The heart surgery was too much and I never want to experience that again and I've been told that if I don't get the diabetes under control, I'll end up on that table again. I'm in my 7th week of recovery and I'm hoping that I can get more energetic as the weeks go by. Then maybe one day, the meds will be done with.

Here comes the SHAME, I'm only 48 years old. Most men and women my age are having the times of their lives. Right now I sweep my floor, then rest, I clean my bathroom, then rest, I make my bed, then rest, I take a walk, then rest. It goes on and on. The diabetes being out of control isn't worth all of this. I've been type 1 diabetic for 1 year. Was type 2 for several and the meds didn't work. Mama Kay