Hello -

I just met a great person and see our relationship extending. I know sexual contact will be happening soon, so it must be time for 'the talk'. My last partner had given me genital HSV1, so I havent needed to tell anyone. I am quite nervous on reaction and how to bring it up..I have not had an outbreak in 2 1/2 yrs, other than the time it was the initial one. I realize if I want a long term relationship that I would need to tell them...frightens me!! can anyone please give me advise on how to bring it up, any statitics i can give, just anything!!

thanks so much....and i do have to agree with an earlier poster that this message board is great! everyone so helpful!

take care

Hello -

I just met a great person and see our relationship extending. I know sexual contact will be happening soon, so it must be time for 'the talk'. My last partner had given me genital HSV1, so I havent needed to tell anyone. I am quite nervous on reaction and how to bring it up..I have not had an outbreak in 2 1/2 yrs, other than the time it was the initial one. I realize if I want a long term relationship that I would need to tell them...frightens me!! can anyone please give me advise on how to bring it up, any statitics i can give, just anything!!

thanks so much....and i do have to agree with an earlier poster that this message board is great! everyone so helpful!

take care

This post is pretty old but I thought I would resurrect it.

The thing to bear in mind is that you are going to be honest and tell the person, and a lot of people wouldn't do that. If this person is really a great person then they will respect you and admire you for being honest with them about your herpes status.

As you have HSV1, you can explain that it is exactly the same virus that anything up to 80% of people worldwide have on their mouths, only in a different area. Your experience of no further outbreaks following the initial OB is pretty typical for HSV1. My experience has been the same. I also have oral HSV1 and have had far more problems with that over the years!

You can reassure your partner somewhat with the fact HSV1 is so common. It might be worth, if you want to put your minds at rest and if you feel the relationship is at that stage, seeing if your partner can be tested for herpes to see if he or she tests positive for HSV1 (many people will do, even if they do not recollect ever having had any problems with HSV1). If your partner tests positive for HSV1 then they will have antibodies in their system which will protect them to a significant, if not 100% extent, of contracting HSV1 genitally (as their HSV1 is likely to be oral, as most cases are). You can also use condoms, although opinion is divided on these boards & elsewhere as to whether condoms will be of effective help.

The main thing to do is to avoid sex during an active outbreak, when the risk of transmission is highest. If you know your body then you should be able to avoid this.

Basically you can, as I say, just explain that it's exactly the same as cold sores. Think about it: plenty of people have cold sores and I am sure they don't all worry about it when they give someone else oral sex! (I know the person who gave me genital HSV1 didn't seeing as she went down on me with an active outbreak :rolleyes: - but I love her anyway) You know what you have and you can manage the risk.

GOOD LUCK!!