newfette
11-01-2004, 05:51 PM
So i'm not really sure what's going on. One miniute i'm fine and the next this i know i've collapsed into some heap on the floor sobbing hystricaly. I cant seem to catch my breath and i'm panacied. it's hapened many times before the exact details of those accounts I really couldn't tell you but tonight was diffrent.
I've been kinda worried lately that i might be pregnant. I love my boyfriend very much and i know that he loves me but the though of a baby right now scared the hell out of me. I'm not ready for a baby. Physically, emotionally, finacially.. none of it.
so i took a pregnancy test. I mean i'm on the pill but i was 5 days late and nothing perfect is it? that came back negative. but after talking with a few people and knowing my body. i started to worry.
a girl who's pregnant told me that becasue I was late and my period came so much heavier then before it might be a sign that i had miscarried.
I havent gone to a doctor or anything, I have my usualy physical on Nov 9th.
but what i'm feeling is so strange. i wasn'g going to keep the baby. I was going to have an abortion if i was pregnant. but the though of having a miscarrige make me feel things i've never felt before.
And then there's my boyfriend. we've been dating for 7 months and living together for three months. I love him more then anything in the whole world but it's like he just doesn't understand. i was trying to tell him how I was feeling about the whole baby thing and he began raising his voice at me telling me that i should listen to anyone. and that i'm stressing over nothing. and I know he means well but it's like i'm not getting the support i need from him right now. this upset me so much and i just looked at him and told him that he has no way of knowing what i was going through at that moment and the he should just be there for me. he got defensive and i ended up in a ball sobbing on the bed in our room. he left me like that for a while and then he came in and said that he doesn't want to fight because he had a headach and he couldn't "deal with it right now". he can't deal with it and i'm the one with all these feelings.
I'm sure this whole eposide is not something that started with him. I can remember having these anxiety attacks for many years now. but they're getting worse and fast.
I dont want this to turn into some kind of huge problem. My boyfriend teels me he feels disapointed becasue he think's i'm not happy with him. I truely am and i want to spend the rest of my life with him, but when i'm in these moods and i cant stop crying and i cant breath, he think's I dont love him and i need all of this to befixed so that he knows i love him and that i can like my life without worrying or being anxious about everything. I want to stop worrying about every little thing that i have no control over.
I just want to feel better.
please help me.
I've been kinda worried lately that i might be pregnant. I love my boyfriend very much and i know that he loves me but the though of a baby right now scared the hell out of me. I'm not ready for a baby. Physically, emotionally, finacially.. none of it.
so i took a pregnancy test. I mean i'm on the pill but i was 5 days late and nothing perfect is it? that came back negative. but after talking with a few people and knowing my body. i started to worry.
a girl who's pregnant told me that becasue I was late and my period came so much heavier then before it might be a sign that i had miscarried.
I havent gone to a doctor or anything, I have my usualy physical on Nov 9th.
but what i'm feeling is so strange. i wasn'g going to keep the baby. I was going to have an abortion if i was pregnant. but the though of having a miscarrige make me feel things i've never felt before.
And then there's my boyfriend. we've been dating for 7 months and living together for three months. I love him more then anything in the whole world but it's like he just doesn't understand. i was trying to tell him how I was feeling about the whole baby thing and he began raising his voice at me telling me that i should listen to anyone. and that i'm stressing over nothing. and I know he means well but it's like i'm not getting the support i need from him right now. this upset me so much and i just looked at him and told him that he has no way of knowing what i was going through at that moment and the he should just be there for me. he got defensive and i ended up in a ball sobbing on the bed in our room. he left me like that for a while and then he came in and said that he doesn't want to fight because he had a headach and he couldn't "deal with it right now". he can't deal with it and i'm the one with all these feelings.
I'm sure this whole eposide is not something that started with him. I can remember having these anxiety attacks for many years now. but they're getting worse and fast.
I dont want this to turn into some kind of huge problem. My boyfriend teels me he feels disapointed becasue he think's i'm not happy with him. I truely am and i want to spend the rest of my life with him, but when i'm in these moods and i cant stop crying and i cant breath, he think's I dont love him and i need all of this to befixed so that he knows i love him and that i can like my life without worrying or being anxious about everything. I want to stop worrying about every little thing that i have no control over.
I just want to feel better.
please help me.
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