My 2nd I.U.I failed and i feel like i just cant go threw it again. The stress on my marriage is terrible and no matter how hard i try i cant help feeling resentfull to my DH ( zero sperm count) and mad at myself for thinking i could cope with this emotionally. I really admire you guys who can go threw so many attempts but im just done with it all and having spent ten days away on holiday without my DH i was able to see a bit clearer for the first time in ages. :angel:

Oh sweetie {{{{{{{{{{{{{Jasmine}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
IF is so hard for anyone. I know how you feel though. Our problem is DH. I hate to admit it but secretly I blame him for all the cr*p that we go through. Especially when he thinks he has the right to complain about all the appoiontments and such. He's not the one taking a shot a day, having people poke between his legs and have blood drawn every other day!!!! Not to mention weight gain, moodiness etc.

Anyways, I just want to tlet you know that you are not alone. I hope that you don't give up your quest for a child...

If you need ANYTHING come and vent, talk whatever!!!

D

Congratulations on finding some perspective and getting closer to resolving the situation. It sounds like the vacation brought you a bit of peace.

Everyone has to draw the line somewhere; your line may be sooner than other people's on this board, but it's YOUR choice, and we all honor you for being able to make your own decision.

Is adoption just not an option? I can't believe that all this resentment and the cost of these procedures is healthy. Adopting our son was such an exciting time in our lives, I can't understand why anyone wouldn't want to do it. If I had known how fun it was, I probably would have done it even if I could have gotten pregnant!

summerlove-
I'm just curious as to how you went through and found information about adoption. We aren't to that point yet, but it has crossed my mind a few times. I just don't know if I would know where to start in regards to adoption. Any words or advice on this?
Thanks - and god bless you for taking in such a blessing! :angel:

We went through all the fertility tests and didn't find anything wrong...so they suggested we start over again. I asked my DH what he thought of adoption and he said he would love to and had really wanted to all along. I started calling local adoption agencies, but the waiting period was very long. We heard of a foreign adoption agency located here in Oregon and when I called them, things just seemed to start falling into place. We had our beautiful Korean-born son within 10 months. He has been the light of our lives. He will turn 20 this week...wow, that went fast! His arrival day is still as fresh in my mind as if it were yesterday. We had so much support and encouragement that it just seemed right from the very beginning. I'm sure I couldn't love a biological child any more than him. I knew a couple of other families who adopted through the same agency at the same time and they each had 2 biological children and then adopted the third. They said their feelings for each of their children is the same...there is no difference in the love they feel for their adopted child. I have my whole story in a thread titled "adoption?" in this category also. Pretty much the same stuff, but you might want to read it also. I'll check back for any further questions...I'm a strong advocate of adoption, but I know it's not an option for some people.

Adoption is not an option for us as it is so expensive in the U.K. Thank you all for your kind words. :)

Hey Jasmine - I totally understand that the expense can be an obstacle. You have my best wishes and prayers that things will work out. You are NOT alone. Please don't resent your DH, because it could have just as easily been the other way around...you could have been infertile. You may just find the support you need right there at home if you reach out to him and give him your support too. I don't know the circumstances, but I'm just throwing out some suggestions. Anyway, it has been a long time since I dealt with the infertility issue, but I remember the pain. It is very difficult. Please hang in there, keep reaching out to others with the same issues, and I will check in here to see your progress. Try to keep a sense of humor, because you'll need it when you have a child of your own.