I am in need of some advice, I dont have much experience dealing with death but a friend of mine, her husband died a few weeks ago and it was a big shock to all of us.

We thought she was dealing with it all right but we have noticed that she is telling herself that he is still alive, when she is at work she tells herself tht he is at home waiting for her, and when she is home she tells herself and their 11 month old that he is at work......

Is there anything that we can do or say to help her cope with him being gone.
I dont know how many more times we can remind her that he is gone and not at work or at home....
Please help :angel: :angel:

She needs to talk to a counselor. Is there someone you could refer her to? Does she have a Pastor? Mental health counselor? She really needs some professional help.

Maybe she would go to counseling if she thought she was doing it for the kids. You know, to help them cope.

Let us know how she is doing.

It's good if you can find a counseller for her, but in addition, I feel that you, being a close one to her, needs to stick to what she believes, that her husband is at work, OR that he's working late, OR he's gone for an official tour, OR that he's out partying the night and so on. I feel this is the best way to console her, in a way that she knows that she has someone to believe her, in this alien world, not in a consoling manner but here's a role for you to play as an actor, to be firm with her and never let her realize that he's gone. This is absolutely necessary for her at this point since she is feeling insecured by the loss of someone who meant the world to him, so much so that it's the hardest thing for her to accept the fact. She needs company, probably a male company who would have to act this way. With time, this will be normal, as I have seen cases like this before. Though her husband is not with her, his memories are hard for her to do away with. It's not yet time for her 11 month child to really understand the hard facts of life he/she will do it when old enough, and by that time I'm sure her mother will have accepted this.

This is certainly a difficult time for her, she has lost the person that meant the most to her. The most important thing right now is for her to have someone to lean on and depend on. I don't know that it is advisable to feed her illusion that he is "just at work", I don't see that as healthy. and as difficult as it sounds, her 11 month old needs to hear the truth, not the graphic reality but reality none the less. all the acting in the world won't bring him back and the sooner they deal with it the better off they will be. it is probably the hardest time most of us will ever have to deal with and definately the time when family and friends are needed the most. just be there for her, don't gloss over the situation. help keep her in the real world and in touch with reality, he is gone. but be warned, when the dam breaks it will be VERY emotional for everyone involved.