Hi everyone,

I've been lurking on this board for a while, and was wondering if one or more of you could give me some advice.

Here is my situation:
I think that I may have HSV-1 genitally and I would like to know, to know and to tell my boyfriend (who I will not do anything 'down there' with until I know)

I know that I have HSV-1 orally, because I received cold sores on my lips as a child and very rarely, now. Two years ago, my first boyfriend and I had oral sex (we were both virgins). In the spring of May 2003, I had about a month of horrible flu-like symptoms, itching and redness in the crotch area, swollen glands, etc. I went to two doctors, telling them that I thought I had HSV-1, and they said no I didn't, because I did not have sores. However, I've done research and I know this is possible to have without sores.

Anyhow, for the past two years, I have never had another 'outbreak' like my first, but I do occasionally have lots of itching in the rectum area (gross, I know) at the same time of having a sore throat, swollen glands. What should I do? Are there any specific tests I can take to find this out once and for all? To my knowledge, and to my gynecologist's knowledge, I have never had sores, or at least visible sores, genitally, although sometimes I get pimple-like sores on my thighs and around my breast area. At one point I had one of these sores around my breast area tested for HSV-1, but it came up negative. I have, strangely, also had these sores on my ears. I just don't know what's up, but my ex-boyfriend did get cold sores, so it is very possible and probably that he passed on herpes. Literally all the symptoms for herpes are there, without the sores.

Now I have a new boyfriend, and I do not want to do anything 'down there' with him until I know for sure what I have, so that I can tell him and he can make the decision on whether to go about things, etc. We are very much in love and I trust that he will accept me with the news.

Thanks for reading and for any help and suggestions you might have. Specific test info, etc. might also be useful.

Hi. I have HSV1 both orally and genitally. One thing to bear in mind is that whilst you are being cautious with your genital area because of herpes, you should also consider the fact that if you have HSV1 orally, you may well be shedding this at a greater level than the HSV1 genitally (if you have HSV1 genitally). Although if you do have HSV1 genitally, the infection may be more recent and the shedding therefore higher than ordinarily, in general, genital HSV1 will shed significantly less than oral HSV1. This is not to overly concern you regarding oral sex with your new boyfriend, but to help you to get perspective - without meaning to patronise you, a lot of people panic at the suggestion of "genital herpes" when the evidence shows that HSV1 is probably likely to be less problematic genitally than orally.

In the absence of an active cold sore, the chances are reasonably low that your boyfriend passed on HSV1 to you genitally, because your prior oral HSV1 means your have antibodies to this virus. This is not 100% - I have both oral and genital HSV1 and my genital HSV1 infection occurred many years after the oral one - but I was exposed to an active sore where the risk is much much higher.

The pimple like sores on your breasts and thighs could possibly be some kind of bacterial infection. I had some itchy pimples in between my breasts which were diagnosed as a kind of yeast infection. Do you see a dermatologist? Perhaps you could speak to one and see if there is a non-herpes explanation for these symptoms: bacterial infection, heat rash, allergic reaction, irritation, etc.

The itching you experience in the rectum could be down to a lot of things, including some kind of bacterial infection of that area. Perhaps you should consider being tested for other gential problems: bacterial vaginosis (BV) and trich are two you should perhaps consider having tests for - speak to your gynaecologist.

The ears would be an unusual, although not impossible, place for herpes sores. It is possible once again that this is some kind of bacterial infection you should speak to a doctor or dermatologist about.

Good luck with your boyfriend. Bear in mind that if you do have genital HSV1, it's the same virus you have had on your mouth for years and that its genital version should in fact cause you less problems, if you are in line with the statistics - the problems you are experiencing may well be something else and you should investigate other possibilities. If you did have genital HSV1, the HSV1 would be outside its area of preference and there should be less asymptomatic shedding from your mouth. Do you perform unprotected oral sex on your boyfriend? Having protected genital sex with your boyfriend would probably be no greater risk than that, so it is worth keeping a sense of perspective even though the words "genital herpes" loom large.

Good luck!