hey,

In april this year, my childhood best friend lost her mother to cancer. her mum was like a mum to me too, and she was always there for me when my mum wasn't. Obviously when she first died i was very upset, but i dont think about it all the time. One thing she helped me alot with was my Crohn's disease because she was the only person who'd been through a similar experience. Now when i get a flare up, i just wish she was here to give me advise and it upsets me greatly. How can i try and be positive? I sometimes even wish it had been me that died, not her, because she was such an amazing person

You are still grieving so don't be so hard on yourself or expect yourself to feel "hunky-dory" by now...
This woman was very important to you and you've already done a very wonderful & positive thing by sharing your memory of her with us.
That's one thing you can do to keep someone's spirit or memory alive - to share what it was they gave to you here on earth with others.
You will tell YOUR children about her someday and in that way she will still live on - I can't tell you how much I believe this. My Dad died 3 years ago and sometimes I just know that the love I had for him and his love for me (his #3 daughter) is still as alive as it was when HE was alive.
And how special is that!!!
If you can, please share a little bit more about what your friend's mom was like, ok??
:angel:

she was just so funny, always laughing and making others laugh! I never, ever saw her unhappy, even when her time was ending. she was always doing things for others, especially sorting her daughters problems out. I always remember how she loved moving things around in the house, so everytime i went i could never fiind anything! especially glasses for a drink. Actually, i do feel more positive now i remembered all the good things her life gave, and i believe i'll see her again some day

She sounds like an absolutely wonderful person!!
Imagine that your child has a friend and meets YOU - a funny, always laughing person who always does stuff for others and who moves things around the house all the time!!!!
Wouldn't that just be a fitting tribute to her???!!!
It's hard not to start feeling a little positive when you stop and think about what someone has added to your life that can NEVER be taken away.
(How is your childhood friend doing?)
:angel:

She's ok I spose, she handled things really well and she's grown up a lot over these last few months. She's a lot like her mother, and I always tell her which makes her happy.