worst life ever = me [Archive] - HealthBoards Message Boards

joey_brezinski

11-13-2004, 04:02 PM

Sponsor

joey_brezinski

11-13-2004, 04:26 PM

i wish i had the urge to die cause id do it in a second. but death is far too scary for me to induce.

hayley0610

11-13-2004, 05:11 PM

i somewhat understand u but not totally as some of us do have it rougher than others. But what are u hoping to get out of posting here? do you want advice or med advice? have u had therapy and tried different meds? Telling you to do this and that may not help you as sometimes its easier said than done! What makes u anxious? what gives u panick attacks? what extent of ocd do you have? what is it that bother you the most? If you help us maybe we can help you.

joey_brezinski

11-13-2004, 05:25 PM

yeah after i posted i realized it was kind of just a rant. sorry bout that.

hayley0610

11-13-2004, 11:51 PM

usually what we rant about is really how we feel! so why not share? dont think u are being stupid or ridiculous or having a bad moment because this is something uve been feeling for a while.

ontheway

11-14-2004, 12:06 AM

man you guys think you have it bad screw that. i think i may have the worst life EVER!

i have the following problems apparently(thats what the "doctors" tell me):

im 18 years old, male and i have ocd, depression, social anxiety and acne.

acne is by far the worst because i OBSESS over it through ocd.

i got like 90's in high school got into the best university in ontario for a realll hard program and got there spent 2 days there had panic attacks galore and now am forced to go to a community college. i have no way to escape reality. ive never had a gf cause of socialanxiety combined with acne. i have anger problems too cause of all of these issues and take it out on my family. ive been to 20 or so psychiatrist and they dont help i take some stupid *** trazodone pill cause paxil gave me permanent muscle spasms.

my life summed up in one post. my mom tells me to look at the positive side...what postive side the only thing im good at is skateboarding but i cant even do taht anymore as much cause i ahte going into public.

You might feel as if you have it worst then others, maybe in some cases you do. but others have it pretty bad also, I can't do listen to music, use the bathroom, sleep, bend my knees, hold a phone in one of my hands, type what I want, say what I want, sing when I want, the list goes on because im very tormented by intrusive religious thoughts I wake up obsessing because I had a dream on the thing I obsess on and I got to sleep with ocd, plus the medication i was on made me gain alot of weight and I've lost alot but im still very much flabby in my stomach area. I feel I have it worst off then alot of people as well just as u do. I guess its because we hurt so much and life is always a struggle everyday that it appears to be that way.

I often have wanted to give up so bad, but I'm here and I'm not giving up..because I want my life back. I can tell you do this or so that, but I myself have a hard time apply help from others to myself. but please do know that u are special and made for a purpose NOT to suffer, but to be joyful but with life some of us such as you, and me and other people on this board we get to experienece the ugly side of life too often. I'm kinda stuck myself on how I'm going to beat this problem, I know one is I have to have my faith, the other one I know is that being positive goes a long way.

do you see any doctors ? because they can be of great help to your road of recovery, I'd see a therapist for CBT or maybe some medicine.. whatever does well with you, and of course you have our support on the board because we know what ur going thru to some degree. please forgive me if I made it seem out to be my problem is worst then yours because I have no idea your true feelings and how they are treating you, all I know is how my feelings betray me all the time and it hurts like crap.

If I was rude, I apologize, because this board is here for you to vent, to get help, support , etc.... so please hang in there and come back and let us know how u are doing, even vent to us.. (( hugs )) I know it does not feel like this, but your going to be ok..

God bless u always and with peace

Ur friend
:cool: :wave:

Kathrin74

11-16-2004, 03:31 PM

ontheway

11-16-2004, 04:25 PM

I agree that we should be allowed to just rant. At least here there will be some people who really understand.

Joey, even though things are really bad right now, please don't believe that it will be like that for ever. I had a really really rough time with OCD from about age 19 until I finally found the right help for me when I was about... 25 or so. There were ups and downs, and during the downs I was so afraid i would never feel free again, never be able to do the things I love again... and now I am here, I am almost 30 now and I look back on my life so far and I know it all happened for a reason... and I really like who I am now, the things I do...

I am not saying you have to wait for years until you can get better! You can get better faster than that. I am just saying, even if it has gone on for a long time, this doesn't mean it cannot change. Even if you feel really stuck... I felt really really stuck too, and I could free myself somehow.

The acne... ok, that will probably get better automatically as you get older, right?
I can kind of relate to that too, even though acne was never my problem.. just feeling ugly in general because I had such a hard time at junior high, everybody telling me I was different and ugly and weird...

Don't give up, and post again, even if it's just to rant!

Kathrin

do you think I was rude ? because I really do understand the frustrating and the feelings of helplessness that people are experiecning because I'm going thru it as well

Joey, please forgive me if I was rude to you, I know your hurting, but like Kathrin said you can heal.. but please do as i said in the previous post please let us know how u feeling even if you need to vent, etc we are here and very much understand what you are going thru.. but I know it don't feel like this but your going to be ok..I know so much easier said then done or felt..but just never give up because after EVERY storm you can find a rainbow up in the sky that was meant only for you.. God bless u always (( hugs ))

Kathrin, how did you start to heal from OCD ? please share with us, I'm starting to go to a new therapist for CBT and he will not only talk but make me do things to overcome my fears, mine basically deal with religious thoughts about good and bad and its so hard.. to beat this I've been dealing with it for quite some time and it seems to only try to get worst and its so exhuasting... please let us know how you did it ? thanks (( hugs )) God bless u always

fm5

11-17-2004, 02:13 PM

man you guys think you have it bad screw that. i think i may have the worst life EVER!

i have the following problems apparently(thats what the "doctors" tell me):

im 18 years old, male and i have ocd, depression, social anxiety and acne.

acne is by far the worst because i OBSESS over it through ocd.

i got like 90's in high school got into the best university in ontario for a realll hard program and got there spent 2 days there had panic attacks galore and now am forced to go to a community college. i have no way to escape reality. ive never had a gf cause of socialanxiety combined with acne. i have anger problems too cause of all of these issues and take it out on my family. ive been to 20 or so psychiatrist and they dont help i take some stupid *** trazodone pill cause paxil gave me permanent muscle spasms.

my life summed up in one post. my mom tells me to look at the positive side...what postive side the only thing im good at is skateboarding but i cant even do taht anymore as much cause i ahte going into public.

Joey:

I understand what you are going through. My life was just as bad at one point. I had an alcoholic mother who didn't care about anyone but herself. I also had panic disorder and still am dealing with o.c.d.

I would say for right now, just take one thing at a time.

As far as the acne goes, you will probably be over most of it within 2-3 years. In the meantime, it is your responsibility to go to a dermatologist who can possibly prescribe something for the acne. If one treatment doesn't work, try others they can prescribe.

I would probably say that the panic attacks are the worst thing you are dealing with next to the acne? Check your local papers, health providers or hospital for any panic attack support groups in your area. I would honestly say that I got over my panic attacks by attending these meetings and getting any and all information about panic disorder that I could.

As far as the o.c.d. goes, find a psychologist in your area who specializes in o.c.d. and attend any support groups in your area.

I don't think it is all that bad that you are going to a community college. Some of them are really good. In two years, you just transfer to a four year college. In the meantime, you have saved yourself alot of money.

Try not to take things out on your family. They are the main ones there for you right now. They are providing you food and shelter. Things would be alot worse if you were out on the street. And, you will only probably feel horrible later about how you have treated them.

Give things time Joey.

Kathrin74

11-17-2004, 02:32 PM

Ontheway,

no, I don't think you were rude at all, I think your posts came through as genuine and understanding and empathetic.

How did I do it..... hmmm, let's see... I think a big part of it was that at the time I was REALLY REALLY ready, inside of me, to make a big change... and decided to take Prozac and just somehow decided for myself that it would help me, so I had the right inner attitude I guess... at the same time I did a short term cognitive-behavioral therapy (I had to leave for college again in a month so it was really very short, but kind of intensive).

Somehow I wanted to prove everybody that I was going to make it...

I think the medication helped a lot, in my case. A lot of my obsessions at the time had to do with things I would see in the street, like I would be on the bus and see something in my peripheral vision and then have to get out at the next stop to check on it (if it may have been an injured animal, or a crack or stone that somebody might trip over, stuff like that). In the end I just kept my eyes closed most of the time. And that made me feel so sad!!! I mean, here I was, with eyes that could see, walking through the world like a blind person, for fear of seeing something that i would then obsess about...

That was one place where the prozac for me really worked: Already after about one or 2 weeks of taking it (yeah, that was a fast response.... part placebo? I am not sure, it was kind strong for just placebo...) I was sitting in the car with my parents and suddenly I realized: It seemed to me that the streets had been cleaned of all the scary stuff!!! I could look outside and wonder, what had been so scary about it??? Wow what a feeling...

Other obsessions I had had to do with being afraid of thinking certain things, or being afraid that if somebody used certain words or sentences something bad was going to happen... the medication (and the CBT, with a wonderful therapist who helped me realize that those thoughts were just obsessions and that I could wait them out and they would fade) made it easier for me to tell myself: OK, this feels very scary right now, but it WILL go away again, it always has...

Another thing that really helped me: My therapist explained to me a lot about the nature of obsessions. One important thing: They are very scary, and the fear mounts, and then we do the compulsion, and the fear goes down again - TEMPORARILY. Just to come up again, maybe in a different form. BUT: If we don't do the compulsion, yes the fear will rise some more, but after a certain point it will automatically start to go down again!! My therapist said it is physically impossible that the fear will go on forever (which I was always so afraid of). It will reach a peak and then decrease again. And then the OCD will have "lost" a game, so to say, because the next time we will remember, and it will be less scary every time, and after a while the obsessions won't even come anymore...
But if we do the compulsion, we never allow our fear to reach that peak after which it will go down again automatically... and more permanently.

This is how CBT strengthens US and weakens the OCD.
Medication can make that a little easier, especially in the beginning.

By the way, one reason I didn't want to take meds for a long time was exactly my fear of weight gain... see I have had anorexia before... but different people respond differently to different medications. In my case, there was no weight gain.

Kathrin

HGF109

11-22-2004, 05:49 AM

I have been there and know how you feel, I can tell you that acne and what not will most likely pass, and it will not rule your life forever!!! There was times in high school I even considered permanant makeup, as a guY! but now things have gotten better (and it was REAL bad back then) and my life has progressed. Keep your head held high, things will get better!!! I will keep you in my prayers,
God's Blessings,
HGF

openseason

11-24-2004, 10:54 PM

The acne is most likely causing the depression. So get to a dermatologist first to be evaluated. Dont wait for it to clear up because it may not on its own, and you may need drugs to clear it up.

judythemom

11-26-2004, 10:27 PM

fm5

11-30-2004, 03:51 PM

Funny-my son would argue with you. He says he has the worst life ever. He's tall, good looking, perfect complexion, smart but simply has NO IDEA. He sees himself as the most worthless waste of space. I don't know what to tell you-wish I could wave a magic wand. Go back to doctor, switch meds, do the dishes for your mom, rake a neighbors yard, go scream to God "I'm alive-thank you!", do something proactive. Just try again. I'll pray for you.

Hint on the acne- A friend of mine with bad acne started going to a tanning bed and her acne is gone and she looks amazing. Tan your face. Don't overdo and I know about all the other rsik of tanning beds but it may just give you the confidence you need.

Mom

Your ideas sound great, but I probably wouldn't suggest the tanning bed thing - it's not worth the risks, especially when he could go to a dermatologist and they could prescribe something that will probably work with less risks.

I actually have a sister who (at the age of 35) had melanoma on her nose. It was a very bad experience requiring chemotherapy, etc.

cardani

02-03-2005, 10:02 PM

yes your life is gonna be the worst life ull ever experience! i have no words of wisdom for u, but itll be the best -worst life ever because u are alive.... i know how u feel

worrywort91

02-07-2005, 03:34 AM

Hey man, I can relate to your story. I had bad acne all throughout high school, horrible kind...I even got green heads like worse then black heads. I too have never had a real girlfriend...and I'm 19. I have social anxiety disorder, but I think it would help if you just took baby steps when interacting with the opposite sex. When I first got to college I was overwhelmed by all the blatent sexuality, partying ect. I was a naive mofo. Now though I have a bunch of friends...who are girls...just not girlfriends...I have grown comfortable enough to ask some girls out, even after pacing for 5 minutes before doing it lol. The dates didn't go that good, but I made friends, and you can do it too man. Just start off small with a simple hey, sup. then you could ask girls what classes they are in...if they are in one of your classes great!! Just be yourself, corny yes, but if your fake...they will know. Please, enjoy the hurdles that life throws you, give life hell, and flip it off when it gets in your way of happiness. Be happy, laugh at the ocd itself, it can't beat, you can make it somehow...listen to music, read books, dance to lil jon (it helps), drink vanilla pepsi, or work out (which can boost your mood). I can relate to what your going through , we are very similar, if you need help ask away.. Peace

Kathrin74

02-15-2005, 04:48 AM

Hey all,

I think we shouldn't turn this into a competition of who has the worst life. It's probably impossible to say anyway. For every one, it is always the worst because it's THEIR life. And everybody who just FEELS they have "the worst" (or just, a very bad) life, is in need of and deserving of help and advice. And compassion. And understanding.
We can never know how bad somebody else feels. There is no such thing as a life that is just "objectively" bad or good. It's all about how we feel inside. So somebody who has never had a girlfriend may be very happy and satisfied, and for somebody else it may be a very very big problem and make him feel very sad.

I guess we all have our crosses to bear. But some people among us feel they are overburdened with problems, and they need our help taking some of the burden off, just by being there for them.

That's what I like about these boards, people can come here to vent or to ask for advice.

Oh yeah, of course sometimes it can help to read that somebody else has it just as bad or even worse, I agree there too.

I just hope we all try to be compassionate towrads one another and try to understand.

It sounds like there are some people here on this baord that have really had a very rough deal in life. God bless you all.

Kathrin