slayerdude
11-13-2004, 08:22 PM
Past Obsessions-
-I wouldn't allow clean clothes to be placed on bed. The clothes were clean, and the bed was dirty. I would wipe the clothes off if they touched the bed. I wouldn't sit on bed in morning before school if I had already put my clothes on.
-I didn't want to have bowel movement before or during school. I am pretty sure that one time after I did, I got back in the shower to clean off again.
-One time while taking a test and the room was quiet, my stomach started to rumble loudly and make noises. After that for a good year or two, I always feared situations that would be quiet (school mostly) because it might happen again.
-Would look myself over in the mirror before going anywhere to make sure nothing was on my clothes. (not sure if I did this everyday)
(These did not trouble me all at once, it seems like i would get over one, and started thinking about something else to worry me)
Present obsessions-
-I have this pressure on the left side of my head, and sometimes I'll think that I have a tumor. I know that if i had a tumor that I would be having seizures and things, but sometimes i really think I do. And then I'll think, what if i do have seizures but just don't know it?
-I know that you, me and everything is made of a bunch of little atoms and stuff like that. And that everything we experience is just electrical signals going to our brains, but sometimes I'll think so deeply about it that it scares me to think that nothing is "real". (sounds like something from the matrix, i know)
-sometimes feel like I have no control over my thoughts, or what randomly pops into my head
-sometimes i think that i am "retarded". thats the first thought that comes to mind everytime i occasionally forget something like getting a towel when i take a shower.
- This one is really stupid... In public places with people I don't know or know to well, i'll get this thought that i basically shat myself, and I'll start getting nervous and think about getting up to check, just to reasure myself (many many times i have)
-sitting on the toilet for an hour before school trying to go so i won't have to go at school. (i have stayed home many days that i didn't go)
-i have conversations with other people in my head all the time
-sometimes i like to pretend that people can see what I see through my eyes as i go about my day. i know noone can, but i think about it sometimes.
btw...im 19, if that matters.....
-I wouldn't allow clean clothes to be placed on bed. The clothes were clean, and the bed was dirty. I would wipe the clothes off if they touched the bed. I wouldn't sit on bed in morning before school if I had already put my clothes on.
-I didn't want to have bowel movement before or during school. I am pretty sure that one time after I did, I got back in the shower to clean off again.
-One time while taking a test and the room was quiet, my stomach started to rumble loudly and make noises. After that for a good year or two, I always feared situations that would be quiet (school mostly) because it might happen again.
-Would look myself over in the mirror before going anywhere to make sure nothing was on my clothes. (not sure if I did this everyday)
(These did not trouble me all at once, it seems like i would get over one, and started thinking about something else to worry me)
Present obsessions-
-I have this pressure on the left side of my head, and sometimes I'll think that I have a tumor. I know that if i had a tumor that I would be having seizures and things, but sometimes i really think I do. And then I'll think, what if i do have seizures but just don't know it?
-I know that you, me and everything is made of a bunch of little atoms and stuff like that. And that everything we experience is just electrical signals going to our brains, but sometimes I'll think so deeply about it that it scares me to think that nothing is "real". (sounds like something from the matrix, i know)
-sometimes feel like I have no control over my thoughts, or what randomly pops into my head
-sometimes i think that i am "retarded". thats the first thought that comes to mind everytime i occasionally forget something like getting a towel when i take a shower.
- This one is really stupid... In public places with people I don't know or know to well, i'll get this thought that i basically shat myself, and I'll start getting nervous and think about getting up to check, just to reasure myself (many many times i have)
-sitting on the toilet for an hour before school trying to go so i won't have to go at school. (i have stayed home many days that i didn't go)
-i have conversations with other people in my head all the time
-sometimes i like to pretend that people can see what I see through my eyes as i go about my day. i know noone can, but i think about it sometimes.
btw...im 19, if that matters.....
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slayerdude
11-14-2004, 05:05 PM
anyone wanna comment?
Kathrin74
11-16-2004, 03:22 PM
OK, some of these things do sound like OCD-type thought to me, especially the clothes-on-the-bed worries, showering after going to the bathroom, and having to reassure yourself that you hadn't shat yourself... others may or may not be obsessions, it probably depends on how much they interfere with your life and how much you suffer from them. For example, thinking about "nothing is real" is normal to an extent, but if it becoems a constant worry (an obsession), then it can be a symptom of OCD. One thing to look for is: Are those thoughts unwanted, do they just pop up, and you try not to think them, but the more you try to repress them, the more they come up again and worry you? (Maybe this is what you mean when you say you feel you can't control your thoughts sometimes?)
It would also be typical that one worry would leave and then your brain would stary clinging on to the next worry... this happened with my OCD a lot.
Does this help a little bit?
Maybe you can talk to a counselor at school, do you have a health center there or something?
Kathrin
It would also be typical that one worry would leave and then your brain would stary clinging on to the next worry... this happened with my OCD a lot.
Does this help a little bit?
Maybe you can talk to a counselor at school, do you have a health center there or something?
Kathrin
bm28
11-16-2004, 05:40 PM
Hi slayerdude, It definitely could be OCD but there are many different levels of OCD. Generally speaking, some of those things are perfectly normal for a 19 year old. In fact, everyone has "something weird" that they do. However, when these thoughts/obsessions start to interfere with your daily functioning then usually a doctor will prescribe a medication or suggest some type of therapy to help you learn how to handle life again. My thoughts were mainly about death and I was obsessed with it. I am doing much better now because I take Luvox.
slayerdude
11-16-2004, 07:46 PM
Are those thoughts unwanted, do they just pop up, and you try not to think them, but the more you try to repress them, the more they come up again and worry you? (Maybe this is what you mean when you say you feel you can't control your thoughts sometimes?)
yeah, that's what i mean. i have absolutly no control over these thoughts, they seem to come and go as they please. it's definatley interfering with my daily life. i quit going to school because i was tired of be nervous for 7 and 1/2 hours everyday. and sometimes when hanging out with my friends, i'll tell them that i have to go, and then ill leave.
i just got back from the psychiatrist today. i made a list of all these thoughts to show him. i tried to hand it to him, but he said he won't read it, he wanted me to. so then i told him that the reason i made the list is so i wouldn't have tell him outloud. then he said "it's obvious that you don't want help, there's the door". he didn't seem to be very understanding. what an ***!
what do i do now?
yeah, that's what i mean. i have absolutly no control over these thoughts, they seem to come and go as they please. it's definatley interfering with my daily life. i quit going to school because i was tired of be nervous for 7 and 1/2 hours everyday. and sometimes when hanging out with my friends, i'll tell them that i have to go, and then ill leave.
i just got back from the psychiatrist today. i made a list of all these thoughts to show him. i tried to hand it to him, but he said he won't read it, he wanted me to. so then i told him that the reason i made the list is so i wouldn't have tell him outloud. then he said "it's obvious that you don't want help, there's the door". he didn't seem to be very understanding. what an ***!
what do i do now?
genie04
11-17-2004, 10:41 AM
That's awful. If a psychiatrist had said that to me I would make a complaint! Did he read your list in the end and are you going to continue seeing him?
By the way, I can relate to quite a few of your obsessive thoughts - just thought I would tell you that so you know that you're not alone in thinking them!
By the way, I can relate to quite a few of your obsessive thoughts - just thought I would tell you that so you know that you're not alone in thinking them!
slayerdude
11-17-2004, 12:03 PM
nope, he didn't read it. he said there's the door, and then turned around to his desk. we just walked out, didn't pay or anything like that.
bm28
11-17-2004, 12:12 PM
Hi! I would have just died if he did that to me. That is terrible. Well, at this point you should not give up but find someone that you are comfortable with and start seeing a therapist too if you aren't already.
To answer your question: yes, they do just pop in my head (they don't anymore though b/c of meds.) I used to refer to them as "flashes." For instance, like one time I was driving home from work and I got a "flash" that my dogs were dead on the floor. Then, that lead to well what killed them, why are they both dead, what position are they lying, how am I going to bury them.....etc. Then one thought just lead to another.
To answer your question: yes, they do just pop in my head (they don't anymore though b/c of meds.) I used to refer to them as "flashes." For instance, like one time I was driving home from work and I got a "flash" that my dogs were dead on the floor. Then, that lead to well what killed them, why are they both dead, what position are they lying, how am I going to bury them.....etc. Then one thought just lead to another.
luckygirl8
11-17-2004, 01:20 PM
bm28, I have the same obsessions with my dog too!! A lot of times when I am driving home from work, certain things will pop into my head. I get "visions" that my dog is going to be dead when I get home, I can picture it in my head. Then I start obsessing about how upset I'll be, and how much I'll miss him, and how I won't be able to function, etc. It's very upsetting, it's like when I see that he's alive, I am surprised, because I had just convinced myself that he would be dead. It's very disturbing. I started Celexa so the obsessions have been letting up a little, hopefully it will really stop them from popping into my head.
bm28
11-17-2004, 01:27 PM
That is precisely how I was too. It is disturbing. I would even check my boyfriend in the middle of the night to see if he was breathing almost every night.
Kathrin74
11-17-2004, 02:13 PM
VERY strange behavior of your psychiatrist. I studied psychology too (ok, just to the BA so far, but I have also done a lot of reading on clinical psychology), and I have never heard that not wanting to read a list like that out loud is a sign of "not wanting help". In my opinion, the fact that you MADE the list is a clear sign that you want help.
Good for you that you didn't pay him!!! :D
Can you see a different psychiatrist? I don't know what kind of health plan you're on.
Kathrin
Good for you that you didn't pay him!!! :D
Can you see a different psychiatrist? I don't know what kind of health plan you're on.
Kathrin
phobic
01-26-2005, 10:59 PM
uh oh, I totaly talk to others in my head. A lot! It's part of "figuring things out". It's just that i go over the same things over and over and begin to speak out loud sometimes and have to quite myself. So far, dr hasnt said skitzo or anything, but tht's a new thought/fear i can ask about :confused: yikes, think i freek out even my dr..lol Anyway, not all dr's are the same and i would have broke down if a dr had told me ,,,,about "reading it myself". sometimes i just cant talk when i go to psyke, so i write and he reads it out loud and we kind of go over it. Im soooooooo mad that that happened. It's WRONG!