SarangHae
11-17-2004, 08:24 PM
Um .. by saying "type", I don't mean wat kinda ocd you have. I mean the torture the ocd give you. I dont know if its just me or wat, but I notice since the day I have OCD, its tortures are different sometimes.
There are like times I just have this unwanted image/person/event that keeps popping up in my head that I cringe and have to scream stop it out loud to stop the thought, or image a picture in my head to get rid of the image such as imaging myself in a house w/ no door, wrapping up myself like a mummy, or having a big rock falling on me. (If you notice you can tell out these images I try to think are to prevent the thoughts to touch me).
Then, when the unwanted images go away, thoughts/questions replace. Questions like "am i gay? am i a child molest? do i believe in god". I just feel completely depressed and feel like I am when i ask myself those question. I mean, I just simply tell myself that I am what I'm not and dont want to. With HOCD, I jsut feel like I'm gay then I get anxious and I ask myself why is dat, i'm not why I say I am. And you feel like ur in denial and feel like u dont have ocd.
I think there is more, but somehow i can't remember. But those two are the ones I experience the most. They usually dont take place at the same time. Thats why when I was tortured by the first one, I usually told myself the second one is better cuz I'm just depressed but have no stupid image in my head. But then when I'm w/ the second one, I feel like the first one is less servere cuz .. its simply just the image and it doens't make u feel all depressed and stuff. But yeah, the one ur having is always the worst. Its just sumthing i want to say.
Can someone relate to that? or is it just me?
There are like times I just have this unwanted image/person/event that keeps popping up in my head that I cringe and have to scream stop it out loud to stop the thought, or image a picture in my head to get rid of the image such as imaging myself in a house w/ no door, wrapping up myself like a mummy, or having a big rock falling on me. (If you notice you can tell out these images I try to think are to prevent the thoughts to touch me).
Then, when the unwanted images go away, thoughts/questions replace. Questions like "am i gay? am i a child molest? do i believe in god". I just feel completely depressed and feel like I am when i ask myself those question. I mean, I just simply tell myself that I am what I'm not and dont want to. With HOCD, I jsut feel like I'm gay then I get anxious and I ask myself why is dat, i'm not why I say I am. And you feel like ur in denial and feel like u dont have ocd.
I think there is more, but somehow i can't remember. But those two are the ones I experience the most. They usually dont take place at the same time. Thats why when I was tortured by the first one, I usually told myself the second one is better cuz I'm just depressed but have no stupid image in my head. But then when I'm w/ the second one, I feel like the first one is less servere cuz .. its simply just the image and it doens't make u feel all depressed and stuff. But yeah, the one ur having is always the worst. Its just sumthing i want to say.
Can someone relate to that? or is it just me?
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hry33
11-18-2004, 08:21 PM
Hi
it sounds like normal OCD
OCD self help books have useful advice, antidepressant meds often help
it sounds like normal OCD
OCD self help books have useful advice, antidepressant meds often help
Kathrin74
11-19-2004, 05:01 PM
I would also say, it is not uncommon for OCD to plague somebody with different variants of itself. Images, and then again thoughts... and I can also relate to what you say about, when you are with the second, the other doesn't seem so severe. I have had different "kinds" of OCD - sometimes fear of being responsible for something I thought was dangerous, which made me have to do a lot of checking, and then again I had thoughts that scared me, that I thought would cause bad things to happen... and then again I felt responsible for all kinds of suffering in the world and obsessed about that... and it seemed whatever "kind" of OCD was acting up at the moment, felt like the worst kind, or let's say - yeah, like the kind that might be real and not really OCD at all....
I hope I make sense... in any case, those thoughts about "am I gay" or "am I a child molester" etc... they are common OC thoughts, really typical! I am going to post something a doctor said, I'll call the thread "About unwanted thought", read that too!
Kathrin
I hope I make sense... in any case, those thoughts about "am I gay" or "am I a child molester" etc... they are common OC thoughts, really typical! I am going to post something a doctor said, I'll call the thread "About unwanted thought", read that too!
Kathrin