baddoey
11-19-2004, 05:10 PM
I'm newly dxed - starting injections in a few weeks. I'm a single professional woman in my early thirties; most of my family lives overseas. . I do have some great friends where I live. My symptoms are mostly sensory at this time - I've gone through all the tests, 2 MRI's (spots on brain - spine clear), lowish b12 levels, LP came back clear and the evoked potentials came back normal as well - so I have no disability at this point. But I can't stop thinking about it. I ended a long-term relationship at the beginning of this year with an alcoholic, we tried to work on a friendship after that, when I told him I was sick in Aug he told me that he would be there for me. . well I never heard from him again. . good riddance I know, last thing I need is to have someone in my life that I can't depend on. I stay active, and really want to live a full life and maybe even find someone to share it with and maybe have children, but I just can't stop thinking about the fact that I am sick - if I sound selfish right now I am sorry - reading many of your posts I am truly inspired by your commitment to living and enjoying everything that you have. how or when will I stop thinking about this so much and just move forward? I hope this doesn't sound too depressing, I just feel like I could be a better person if I wasn't so preoccupied with my MS. . I don't know if this makes any sense to anyone, but if you have any advice I would appreciate it.
thanks
thanks
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Heddi
11-19-2004, 07:20 PM
I can understand how you feel. I am fairly new with MS, just diagnosed in April, and I too have periods of depression. I feel that as time progresses and we realize that it is not as bad as it may seem. This too shall pass. :)
apriltones
11-19-2004, 08:02 PM
its ever likely to feel like that, i would too. Dont be hard on your self. im waiting to have mri as dont know whats wrong yet, taake care, keep healthy, i heard diet plays big part in keeping ms symptoms minimal, love april x
Natatude
11-20-2004, 11:09 AM
i know a great book u could buy and read! please do it! if u like reading u will love this book! i gave it to my cousins wife cause she was just dxed with MS and they were just married in july and she is only 21,, it's called "Out of The Blue" by Sally Mandel u can buy it in ur local book store, or off ebay or online,, it is about a woman who was dxed with MS has a close relationship with her mom and wants to get married and have a family but thinks the MS is stopping her!
baddoey
11-22-2004, 11:43 AM
thanks for the replys - like you just said, I don't want it to stop me - and I don't want to stop myself from having a good life. . my symptoms are mild at this point and I am trying to make some life-style changes to lead a healthier life. I have been drinking a little too much lately, trying to go out and be social and have fun (I was always sort of a homebody). I know at this point there is no way to tell what is going to happen to me over the next few decades and I want to enjoy everything right now, but just feel a little burdened.
Ratpuppy1
12-04-2004, 09:57 PM
Well...I already have Type 1 Diabetes, Hypothyroidism, and 4 cages in lower lumbars...extreme pain, not to mention Neuropathy that causes me to burn myself all the time on my hot pad for my pack..scarred bad back there. I have a man in my life that treats me like gold. I'm so lucky to have found him. He pays my health ins, for I can't. Too dang much money. I just had MRI today on neck and brain for MS. I think I have had MS for years....another doctor in 1996 told me I showed signs of MS then and I was in denial and never went back to him. My life is so crappy sometimes..no one really understands how you feel inside. The frustrating pain you deal with daily..invisible pain that they can't see...and your so tired. At this point in my life, I anticipate leaving this earth. This has got to be the worst place ever. I lost two of my sisters these last two months, and they are the lucky ones...was strange they went at the same time..one colon cancer, the other brain aneurysm..anyway, they are the lucky ones. No more pain for them. This life is so hard at times for the chronically ill. Anyway, I must wait for my own results now on these tests today. I will accept whatever they say, for my family has had the worst health ever...God Bless You All!!! xoxooxoxoxoxo
apriltones
12-05-2004, 06:49 PM
hi baddoey, what are your symptoms like? what sort of symptoms? cheers, aprilxx
anseay
12-05-2004, 09:20 PM
Ratapuppy1,
Sorry to hear about your sister. I can clearly relate to what your saying about the pain, but what's really fully is that I've talked to alot of people with ms and they don't have any pain, either that or they had it for so long they don't recognise it anymore. Maybe the damage to to nerve ending are gone and that's why they don't hurt. I felt like what's the use last year because I wasn't keeping a diary and got lost in the (your only suffering from depression and stress crock.) It's hard to swallow that when you body is falling apart and your in physical therapy. With me ms is always there, but I have a new phlophicy have fun and live. It's my family that's in denial. Last March before getting diagnosed I told them I was on a limited time span and needed physical help, now almost a year latter it like you need to do this and you need to do that crock. I just laugh. Then I make myself even more determined to accomplish my task. as for the depression it's still there, but I find ways to keep me busy, that way it's not so bad. As for having ms it's there and it sure ain't going away so when I go to do something and my mussels won't let me I just say " I'm having an ms moment." My real friends are starting to comprehend and are really supportive for me. Hang in there. I'm glad you have a really good supportive person in your life.
Sorry to hear about your sister. I can clearly relate to what your saying about the pain, but what's really fully is that I've talked to alot of people with ms and they don't have any pain, either that or they had it for so long they don't recognise it anymore. Maybe the damage to to nerve ending are gone and that's why they don't hurt. I felt like what's the use last year because I wasn't keeping a diary and got lost in the (your only suffering from depression and stress crock.) It's hard to swallow that when you body is falling apart and your in physical therapy. With me ms is always there, but I have a new phlophicy have fun and live. It's my family that's in denial. Last March before getting diagnosed I told them I was on a limited time span and needed physical help, now almost a year latter it like you need to do this and you need to do that crock. I just laugh. Then I make myself even more determined to accomplish my task. as for the depression it's still there, but I find ways to keep me busy, that way it's not so bad. As for having ms it's there and it sure ain't going away so when I go to do something and my mussels won't let me I just say " I'm having an ms moment." My real friends are starting to comprehend and are really supportive for me. Hang in there. I'm glad you have a really good supportive person in your life.
Dessell
12-05-2004, 09:21 PM
Ratpuppy,
Life is what you make of it,you have every reason to be depressed and hating this world.We all have bad times and things happen,we have to find a way to deal or ease the pain. Sorry to hear about your sisters,it would seem they are better off,but I bet they would of rather been here for a little while longer.Im glad you have someone to help you and you're not alone,that alone is a blessing.
Wish you well,Dessell
Life is what you make of it,you have every reason to be depressed and hating this world.We all have bad times and things happen,we have to find a way to deal or ease the pain. Sorry to hear about your sisters,it would seem they are better off,but I bet they would of rather been here for a little while longer.Im glad you have someone to help you and you're not alone,that alone is a blessing.
Wish you well,Dessell
Ratpuppy1
12-09-2004, 10:34 PM
Thanks Anseay and Dessel...
Im not depressed, IM just worn out like you guys..I posted another post already on my results of the MRI. When I get the results from Spinal Tap I let you know...but 8 spots on my brain,,what could cause that. MS, or what...arg...
Im not depressed, IM just worn out like you guys..I posted another post already on my results of the MRI. When I get the results from Spinal Tap I let you know...but 8 spots on my brain,,what could cause that. MS, or what...arg...
LaurieCrochets
12-11-2004, 01:40 AM
thanks for the replys - like you just said, I don't want it to stop me - and I don't want to stop myself from having a good life. . my symptoms are mild at this point and I am trying to make some life-style changes to lead a healthier life. I have been drinking a little too much lately, trying to go out and be social and have fun (I was always sort of a homebody). I know at this point there is no way to tell what is going to happen to me over the next few decades and I want to enjoy everything right now, but just feel a little burdened.
PLEASE be careful going out and drinking. No driving, and don't do anything else you could regret at a later date. I really feel for you. I was diagnosed with Sarcoidosis, which is not MS, but this attacks any body part on any given day, and then some. I can relate to your wanting to go out and live as much as you can in as fast as you can from fear. Remember, it is fear driven. You will survive. Some days, like today, I feel like I am going to die from this. I feel so sick today. I do try and channel my energies to more productive things, but I did say try. This disease has me to the point I cannot go out like you can. So just know, the clock is not ticking for you. Don't let your disease control you, YOU control it!!! Good luck, and I wish you the best!
Laurie
PLEASE be careful going out and drinking. No driving, and don't do anything else you could regret at a later date. I really feel for you. I was diagnosed with Sarcoidosis, which is not MS, but this attacks any body part on any given day, and then some. I can relate to your wanting to go out and live as much as you can in as fast as you can from fear. Remember, it is fear driven. You will survive. Some days, like today, I feel like I am going to die from this. I feel so sick today. I do try and channel my energies to more productive things, but I did say try. This disease has me to the point I cannot go out like you can. So just know, the clock is not ticking for you. Don't let your disease control you, YOU control it!!! Good luck, and I wish you the best!
Laurie
Ratpuppy1
12-11-2004, 01:32 PM
:cool: I can relate to your post totally Anseay....I have been taking Lexapro for over a year, and my family doctor always associated my depression with my back or my thyroid problem...arg. anyway, I can relate to your post totally, and I like calling your struggling moments "MS moments" .