Hey i have been so stressed out lately all the time. I feel so alone. I have been stuck on this whole HIV thing for mounths i have been tested like 3 times for it. I was with a guy a one night stand like back in July i just turned 18 in october. I am so worryed i got HIV from him. He tells me he don't have it but i know how he lies. I have been looking up the systoms and everything it feels like i got them like i feel tired all the time and it looks like i have bags under my eyes and i am loseing weight.The last time i was tested it was 2 mounths after i had intercorse with this guy. My docter wont let me get tested again intill 6 mounths cause they only give them every 6 mounths i am so STRESSED OUT i mean it runs though my mind nostop i am even telling my mom i am not going to live only 10 more years i cry all the time i am just SO STRESSED it feels like i am going to have a nervies breakdown i cant sleep the stress is getting to the point i dont want to get out of bed. I feel like drinking all the time to get it off my head its RUNNING MY LIFE i even had to go get put on depression meds. SOMEONE PLEASE TALK TO ME AS A FRIEND I DONT HAVE ANYONE I REALLY NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO :dizzy:

I feel your stress... I'm pretty much going thru the same thing over here.. the person I was with has known since March he was positive but only told me when his girlfriend threatened to tell me herself... All I know to tell you is to try to think positive.. The doctors, ER staff,pharmicists and the few people I know who are living this all tell me to keep a positive mindframe.. I know for a fact that since I've been thinking positive I've been feeling better.. My appetite is back and I sleep better.. I'll be praying for you and please pray for me.. I'm taking combivir as a preventitive measure so hopefully I wont turn up positive in two weeks when I go to be retested.. Much luv!!

hey you dont know how much it means to me i have someone to talk to about this. i know what you going though at least its so hard so hard for me i have lost my self esteem and eveything i look at a systom and think i have it my life seems to be falling apart i am in a depression i feel dirty from the inside i mean i feel like i am unclean no matter how many times i take a shower the other day i cut myself and a nali my lil nease was there and was trying to help me and i am like no dont touch it dont touch my blood she looked at me like she dident understand and i stated crying so hard and it hurt from the inside so bad i try to think postive but its hard cause what is there to think postive about when it comes to hiv you know.i am only 18 i have a twin sister i just got my drivers licetens and i am getting ready to get out of school i have a lot of goals and there all falling apart cause of this i feel like i am loseing my mind but you just made me feel so much better to know that i am not alone thank you so much i will pray for you please pray for me and just know that god dose everthing for a reson and that nothing happends in your life that was not already planed :angel:

That's what I'm talking about!!
now you sound like your speaking on a more positive note..like you said, youre only 18 years old... I'm 30 and I know the anxiety that comes along with the not knowing.... I'm trying to look at it as a wake up call.. you should do the same... Everything is going to be ok...Many blessings..I'll keep in touch..
pray4me

same thing happened to me, beckie. i slept with this really weird, awful, older guy back in August, we had sex about 4 times, once was anal, which is a higher risk of contracting it! i was so so so convinced he had it, CUS HE TOLD ME HE HAD SLEPT WITH OVER 300 WOMEN.

wow, huh? my friends told me he was lying, but how can you ever know? he led a really crazy lifestyle. anyway, if you showed negative at 2 months, you're pretty much in the clear. almost everyone shows antibodies in a month. but yeah, other people here know what you're going thru. i went thru hell too...i just stopped doing everything, i stopped doing well in school, i stopped trying to get along with my freinds and family, i stopped exercising and eating well, cus I thot i was going to die in 10 years as well. i said exactly teh same thing u did, see, ur not alone! you really don't have anything to worry about, if you are soo worried, then go to another place to get tested, k? much love. :angel:

hey there again, i replied to you in another post...but here i am again.

if your doctor won't re-test you now, then find someplace that does. i think that you are really spending a lot of frantic, negative time on this when it could be easily erased by a simple test. if you get tested now your results would be conclusive and you can't relax. the odds are WAY WAY WAY in your favor to be negative, you need to stand up to this fear today before it takes any more of your time. seriously. it is great news that you already tested negative, i think thiws last test will convince you that you are just fine!

I will pray for you all and wish you the best of luck, please learn from the experiance, we all make mistakes, the important part is that we move on and be responsibile in the future!

God's Blessings,
HGF

thank you guys for all your support it is helping me out alot i am still scared though cause every little thing i find wrong with me i think i have hiv like if i cough lol its just i think crazy but its hard to get along with all the stress about it. I am going to get tested again i am kind of scared to cause i don't want to face what the results will be. I am just so scared about it i really hope i am ok its just i aways think negtive its really hard for me to think postive but i am trying to with this. anyways thanks for all of your support i feel a little better thank you guys alot :)

chill out beckie. ur stressin ur self out wats the point of stressin urself out about it ? ur just thinkin about the same thing over and over and over and over and ur mind is goin at a 100 miles per hour believe it or not ur mind is connected to ur body ! and if ur mind is tired than u are tired! u said u got tested 2 months after ? well the average time to get a good test result is 20 days but 6 months is with zero percent of mistake. the fact that u had a negative test in 2 months is a good sign and the odds of u bein negative are in ur favor

thanks guys , i know i have been stressing out i am getting better at this though i am going to get tested next week. If i do have it then i guess i have it and i am going to have to live with that, i am just happy that i have someone to talk to about this, thanks alot