i have posted a few times about my mum who had cancer. she passed away on sunday and as i witnessed it all i have some qs...
The resthome had phoned me on saturday to say she had deteriorated and so I took all the kids out for last visit. They talked to her, gave her a kiss and told her they love her (she didnt respond).
Then I wasnt going to visit on Sunday (hadnt thought end was close) and was out with James (my 8 week old baby) when suddenly was gripped by need to visit. This was about 10am so headed out there. When I arrived was told her breathing had changed and they were going to get another assessment from hospice.
So began my days vigil. Her breathing relaxed again after I arrived, and she did open her eyes a few times..not sure if she registered me, but did reach out ?for my hand a few times. So I spent the day holding her hand, talking to her and kissing her etc.
At 1pm they put a syringe driver in as she couldnt swallow meds anymore. There were periods of erratic breathing but at 4.30 my MIL came to relieve me, and they said she was stable. I told mum I would be back later and not to go anywhere. I phoned MIL at 6pm and she said mum was doing really well and breathing had stabilised steady again. So I got back about 6.50pm. Almost as soon as I had told her I was back the breathing became odd again. Although they told me I could probably go home to sleep that night I just didnt feel that was right. My best buddy turned up about 7.15pm and we were talking when I noticed that mum had opened her eyes really open. I dont know if she registered me cos she didnt seem to react when I got in her face, but her eyes really tracked right around the room a couple of times, then she stopped breathing. I collapsed, hugged her and told her I love her etc, then she took another breath which freaked me out and I nearly hit the roof. A couple of more breaths later she stopped again and this time didnt start again. The nurse was there by then (I had rung the bell after she first stopped) and couldnt find a pulse so said she was gone. He asked if I knew someone upstairs as apparently it was one of the most peaceful passings he has seen, no struggle or discomfort.
I am grateful that she wasnt in physical or emotional pain. Just have to get used to life without her now, but it does feel like I am living in limbo waiting until we can all be together again.

so i have a couple of qs for you...do you think mum would have heard/seen me at the end? is it usual for eyes to come open like that right before the end? what could she have been seeing as she tracked her eyes around???any other comments. btw please tell me what you think is true not what you think i want to hear! i just hope they were right that she didnt suffer. I guess i really wish i could know what the experience of it all was like for her, thats what freaks me the most.

I was not actually present during the hour of death of my relatives, but there are many reports in the literature about what some people see at the time of death. Of course, we don't know what your mother actually saw as her eyes followed something around the room if she didn't tell you, but there are many reports of dying patients telling someone present that they see their dead relatives or friends, or occasionally angels or a religious figure. Often the dead relative tells them that they have come to get them. In some cases, they see dead people who they dying patient has not even been told were dead.

Do a web search on "deathbed visions" to read more for yourself.

I've never been present when a person passed away, but I wanted to give you a big ((((((hug))))) as I assume that must be quite an emotional experience. In answer to your question I would pose a question for you - what does your faith/spirituality/morality tell you about your mother's passing?

You don't even need their words to tell you that your Mother wasn't suffering. You were there and experienced it with your own eyes.

Even in a coma, people do relay their discomfort. My Mother, who passed away in 2000 was in a coma first and had discomfort. It was easy to see it in her face, much like when she was alive and well.

It is my personal belief that up until someone is gone, there is still something connecting them with the normal things in life (like moaning, crying, screaming or making faces when in pain).

It sounds like your Mother had as good of a passing as could be expected with all things considered. And best of all is you were there at the crucial moment to experience it yourself - so you don't even have to take someone else's word for it. Your own eyes, ears and heart are all you need.

Let your own experience be your comfort. Bless your Mother and bless you.
-Dennis

I'm guessing your mother sensed your presence in some way. As far as what she was seeing right before she passed away, it sounds like the description of my grandmother right before she died. She opened her eyes wide, like she couldn't believe what she was seeing, then passed away. I'm guessing she saw something from the other side. I've heard other stories like this one before. I heard a story of a little girl dying who actually sat straight up in bed, looked around the room and said "which way do I go?", then immediately died. Your Mum is still alive somewhere, I'm sure of that.

Hi,

I work in a personal care home for seniors, and have seen many people deteriorate and pass away. I believe that she saw you, as the senses of sight and hearing are often there until the very end. I think it sounds like your mother passed peacefully. And as someone in the "business" (not to sound brash), it makes me happy to hear of someone sitting vigil with a dying loved one. As too many times have I seen people go into the next life alone.

All the best to you. My thoughts are with you.

Ive heard that when someone is about to pass, they see their deceased relatives, and they watch them, in some cases talk to them. atleast we know, that when this happens, which it sounds like it did to your mother, theyre very happy. but, that story made me cry:(im so sorry for your loss mate:(

I was there when my Father passed away. He was in the hospital for 3 days and I spent every moment with him. When the nurse said he was dying, I held him and to my surprise he opened his eyes and looked at me. I told him how much I loved him and that Mom would be taken care of. He then closed his eyes and he became very pale. He took 3 breaths that were "different" then he was gone. Looking back I believe he was already gone while his body was taking those last breaths. My neice put her head against his chest and could still hear his heart beating and the nurse told her it would stop soon and it did. I was so haunted by this for months. I don't believe he suffered. The nurse said it is common for the patients to suddenly open their eyes right before they die. It's like they are saying good-bye. I don't know if he was able to hear me before that. The nurses said he could, but he didn't respond to me before that.

I also believe that they see something. My mother worked in a hospital and said when people were about to die they would reach out their hands as if to hold someone that was standing there that we could not see. Maybe it's a transformationd between body and soul, she may have been trying to see with her own eyes when she needed to look through the eyes of her sould and I do agree that someone is waiting to show them where to go. Energy just does not disappear from someone. You are a physical part of this woman...another piece of her soul. She knew you were there, maybe that's why she was at such peace. I'm glad you were there for her. Sorry she is not there in body anymore but she will be around in spirit. Lots of love to you in your time of sadness

First, God Bless and comfort you. I have been present at 3 deaths of loved ones. 2 were peaceful and one was not. The one that sounds most like your experience was a beloved mother-in-law who was as much a mother to me as anyone could have been. Well, on the day she died she was in the hospital hooked up to every machine you could think of but was mentally alert. She was in a lot of pain through her ordeal but near the end her tensions began to fade. (she had asked me before she became so sick to promise to stay by her side if she became terminal) I would ask her questions and she would either nod or close her eyes to respond. About an hour before her passing, her hands tied to boards to stabilize her IVs, her eyes flew open extremely wide and then squinted. I asked her "are the lights too bright?". She shook her head no then raised her index finger and pointed toward the ceiling. A chill and peace came over me at the same time. I asked her "Is THE light bright?" She slowly closed her eyes and nodded yes. I do not know your faith, but for us that was a sign that the light of heaven had opened for her. She passed within 1/2 to 1 hr after that. It was a peaceful, bitter-sweet passing I will never forget and to this day gives me chills as I remember her with love and thank God for the gift of having her and being present at her passing.

I hope this gives you some peace and comfort. It definitely sounds like your mom was ready to go and was most likely waiting for you to be there with her when she passed. So, I believe she knew you were there and appreciated your presence. God Bless and take care. Don't be afraid to allow the grieving process. :angel:

my grandma passed away the same exact way you said ( she didnt see you but she heard you ( your mums mind stays sharp ) but the vision no one can coat with .. she felt that hug u gave her ( and thats good you did that .. shes fine right now

A friend of mine told me he witnessed a death of someone and he told that at the time of his death he talked and said "Everybody calm down, they have come to pick me up" and the person died. This was a religious person. How would be then a death by a car accident? That should be so quick I don't think you have anytime for a vision.

I'm having a painful time remembering my mom's death.

I was called by the hospital saying that "I'd best visit"...I drove 100 miles and went to the hospital...I'd been there several times before in the previous weeks.

My mom was staring wider eyed than I had ever seen her stare out a window over her right shoulder...as if looking at an Incarnation. I tried to talk and she ignored every word , there was perhaps hatred in her eyes staring throught the window, perhaps numbness, perhaps coma.
I talked and she didn't respond by look or any word...only staring at the window (blinds partly closed) as wide eyed as inhumanly possible.
I closed the blinds completely...and then thought a moment about the calling white light that I'd heard about and experienced at near death times.

I reopened the blinds in deference to that thought.

Net was she didn't acknowlegde me for a moment...She was consummed by SOMETING OTHER......I thought best to let her be; that's the moment of death I'd prefer, a time to JOIN whatever is...and no earthly prattling.

I left the room and they called me 3 hours later...she was dead.

I wish I'd stayed and I'm glad I left...I'll never know which!

Hi everyone.

My mum passed away on the 23rd December at 9:50pm. My dad, my husband and I were all there at the end. She was sedated in the last day of her life, but the nurses told me that she could still hear me. (i totally belive this as i work with animals and know that when they are sedated a loud noise can still disturb them). I told her how much i loved her and that i would miss her. I also promised to look after dad for her!
As the end came, her breathing grew shallower and she became colder to the touch. She did not fight it at all, she just let it take her. In her last moments she opened one eye and looked straight at me, and then she was gone. It was the most peacefull thing i have ever seen. It was as if she just fell asleep.
Twice during the day she had come close to death, the whole family was there except me. I had to travell a long way to get to her and it takes a few hours. On the occasions when she nearly died my dad held her hand and said to her that i was on my way and to hold on and she would get to see me. Bless her, she fought to stay and see me one last time!
I miss her more than i can possibly put into words. And i love her so much.

I belive she saw me before she went. And i belive she is still around in spirit ocassionally. She visited me on christmas day. I could feel her presence so strong.

time will heal.

My Grandmother Passed Away From Ovarian Cancer And I Went To Relieve My Mother So She Could Rest A Bit. Grandmother Had Been On The Edge For About 2 Days. I Went In And Took Her Hand And Was Sitting There With Her When She Began Talking To People In Her Life. Her Speech Was Almost Incoherant. After About 30 Min Of This I Called My Mother To Get Back To The Bedroom.( We Brought Her Home As Per Her Wishes) She Must Have Been "reliving" Parts Of Her Life. She Began Reaching Up As A Child Does When They Want To Be Held. Every Now And Then She Would Say "could You Please Help Me Up?" I Was Only 15 At The Time And Tried To Make Her Comfortable. After About Two Hours Of This Wanting To Be Helped Up She Looked Up At The Celing And Her Eyes Became A Look Of Awe. She Then Looked At Us And Said " I Am Gonna Go With Them Now, I'll Look For You When You Come Up Too" This Caused Me To Believe That There Are Angels. She Went Very Peaceful. And I Belive That They Do See And Hear And Emotionally Are Responsive Right Up To The Last Breath.

i have posted a few times about my mum who had cancer. she passed away on sunday and as i witnessed it all i have some qs...
The resthome had phoned me on saturday to say she had deteriorated and so I took all the kids out for last visit. They talked to her, gave her a kiss and told her they love her (she didnt respond).
Then I wasnt going to visit on Sunday (hadnt thought end was close) and was out with James (my 8 week old baby) when suddenly was gripped by need to visit. This was about 10am so headed out there. When I arrived was told her breathing had changed and they were going to get another assessment from hospice.
So began my days vigil. Her breathing relaxed again after I arrived, and she did open her eyes a few times..not sure if she registered me, but did reach out ?for my hand a few times. So I spent the day holding her hand, talking to her and kissing her etc.
At 1pm they put a syringe driver in as she couldnt swallow meds anymore. There were periods of erratic breathing but at 4.30 my MIL came to relieve me, and they said she was stable. I told mum I would be back later and not to go anywhere. I phoned MIL at 6pm and she said mum was doing really well and breathing had stabilised steady again. So I got back about 6.50pm. Almost as soon as I had told her I was back the breathing became odd again. Although they told me I could probably go home to sleep that night I just didnt feel that was right. My best buddy turned up about 7.15pm and we were talking when I noticed that mum had opened her eyes really open. I dont know if she registered me cos she didnt seem to react when I got in her face, but her eyes really tracked right around the room a couple of times, then she stopped breathing. I collapsed, hugged her and told her I love her etc, then she took another breath which freaked me out and I nearly hit the roof. A couple of more breaths later she stopped again and this time didnt start again. The nurse was there by then (I had rung the bell after she first stopped) and couldnt find a pulse so said she was gone. He asked if I knew someone upstairs as apparently it was one of the most peaceful passings he has seen, no struggle or discomfort.
I am grateful that she wasnt in physical or emotional pain. Just have to get used to life without her now, but it does feel like I am living in limbo waiting until we can all be together again.

so i have a couple of qs for you...do you think mum would have heard/seen me at the end? is it usual for eyes to come open like that right before the end? what could she have been seeing as she tracked her eyes around???any other comments. btw please tell me what you think is true not what you think i want to hear! i just hope they were right that she didnt suffer. I guess i really wish i could know what the experience of it all was like for her, thats what freaks me the most.


As a nurse for the geriatric group for over 16 years, I have been involved with, sat thru, tended to, many people who have passed away. some suddenly, some lingering...your moms change in breathing is common process in the last stages of death...the respirations become sporadic, short, called "Cheynes stokes respirations" theres a pause between breaths....
The body is slowing down and in the last stages of rest....
The body has many reflexes. I have witnessed clients who are clinically gone, still move, and seem to breathe a little.....somewhat unnerving, but,
sometimes it happens...Ive sat with many a little client as they slipped further away into "sleep" opening their eyes on occasion, maybe smiling a little....and, I would stroke their hair, hold their hands, put a cool cloth on their faces and wipe, brush their hair, rub lotion on their hands, lip balm on their lips....soothe the covers, make the room quiet and cool and not bright..and just tell them that "Its okay, Its alright....I'm here".....and the knew this....and died peacfully, quietly and not alone nor afraid...
As a nurse I"m a fim believer that the last sense to go is the sense of hearing...no matter what the condition I think your mom heard you....and understood....and you made her feel better...she may not have been able to
show it say it or make you see it, but I know, in her heart, she knew you were there and that brought peace and love and calmness to her....
Please be assured that she left this earth for heaven knowing that you were there and that you loved her.....
I am glad you were with her, so many times over the years I and the staff were the only family for many people....and its heartbreaking....noone should have to die alone....
I'm glad you were there. She knew you were.....and she loves you for it...
Dont be sad for long....take the memories of her and put them in your mental and emotional file....save them....when we leave this earth we take our memories with us.....
I know your mom was at peace and was not afraid....she knew you were there....
God bless.

First off, I would like to give my condolences to all on here who have lost loved ones. :angel:

A little over a week ago my father passed away from lung cancer that had spread to his brain. Some of what I have read on here is what I saw with my father.

At the very end, he also opened his eyes wide as if seeing something or someone unexpected. I do hope it was someone near and dear.
It also seemed that he was afraid or maybe sad because tears ran down his face. We were holding him and telling him that it would be ok and to let go and I do hope that he heard us. The nurse said that tearing was part of the dying process but I feel that it was an emotional response. It bothers me greatly to think that he was afraid.

He had been unable to really speak in the last week before he died but he did ask a couple of days prior, "What am I supposed to do?" We told him that he did not need to do anything but rest. I am not sure that he was really directing the question at us or maybe to someone else that we could not see.

Is it possible that he could see loved ones who had passed on 2 days before he actually died? I wonder if it is this or maybe it was caused by the tumors in his brain.

I was with my husband when he died from cancer. Several days before he died he started to hear singing. He described it as the most beautiful music he had ever heard and he said they were angels. He would ask me if I could hear them but I could not. When he died he went peacefully. It was so painful for me but I am so grateful I was with him.

When your Mother passed away I feel that she was aware that you were with her. My prayers are with you.

Hugs
Mus

My step-mom died of cancer in 2002 and I was standing by her side through the whole thing. During the last 12 hours she couldn't talk, or move, or do anything. It was like she was paralyzed. We all kept telling her to let go, and we would be okay, and she could stop suffering. Finally She looked at my dad, and as clear as day said I love you. Then she looked at all 8 of us childred individually and said she love us. Not 30 seconds after she told my youngest brother she loved him, she closed her eyes and her heart stopped beating. I completely believe she heard every word we said to her that day. There is probably no way to ever know for sure, but I'm sure your mother heard you too. I'm so sorry for your loss. God bless.

Well, I just read through all these posts and tears are flowing. I was with my Dad when he passed away last August from Prostate Cancer that went to his brain. It was all pretty much similar to what everybody has been saying here. He was unresponsive the last day of his life but we did talk to him alot. As I've read through here I sort of worry a little. If he was so aware and could hear everyone around him, I'm hoping I didn't make it harder for him. I was very upset and just couldn't stop crying. Not making a scene or anything, but I wish I could have kept it together for him to make it more peaceful for him. I'm so glad to have been there with him, but it has haunted me so much. How do you get past the death?? How do I get to the point where I can remember his life and not his death?

i know how it feels to watch a loved on die, i lost my older brother in july 2003, he drowned in shenandoah river, i was there , why dear god couldnt i have done something? i was there i sat on the river bank for 17 hours until they finally found him, i keep telling myself if only i could swim i could have prevented this, this will be with me forever. :confused:

i work in a nursing home and have witnessed many deaths and passings in the last 10 yrs. to give it too u straight at the end when your mom was taking those last breaths we like to call the death rattle, her spirit was no longer there. they dont feel nothing at this point it is just the organs shutting down. so there i hope u find peace. also with her opening her eyes, alot of people do something at the end wether it is opening the eyes, eating for a last time, sitting up etc. it is just the body's last reaction is all, at that point she was standing next to you not looking up at you, take peace and comfort knowing she went peacefully and is not hurting no more, she is with god and pretty busy watching over you now. take care i hope this helped god bless you

I was there when my father passed away alil over a month ago. My dad had pancreatic cancer that spread. It was so fast he found out around X-mas that he had a tumor and it was spreading. A week before he passed he had his first chemo then that weekend he got sick and sunday we took him to the hospital and thats where he stayed untill wed when he passed. Monday i went to school worried about him then on my way to a class my mom called me and said come to the hospital hes not doin good. I got there and just broke down, i had to clear my eyes before i went in to see him. He was aware and we talked about whatelse sports with him my uncles and me. He then started taking a decline and was not responsive. We called my sister wholives in arizona to make her way home in New york he wsnt doing good. We all were in the room me my mom my other sister my aunts uncles and one of his friends. Just sitting there almost like we were waiting for him to die. The doctor said he prolly wont make it through the nite. All of a sudden he woke up and started looking at us all and one by one he said he loved us and thanked us we called my sister so she could say hi just in case she didnt make it in time. He then said god i love you. He then kicked us all out of the room and wanted us to go home. we just went to the waiting room and in the hall. Later about 8PM he wasnt doing good at all we had a priest come and do the sacrament of the sick. Me my mom my sister and aunt stayed the night. Tuesday he was up and talking a lil everyonce in awhile he told us to leave the room almost like he didnt want us seeing him like that. Then my sister finally arrived she got to talk to him we all were with him and he was talkin to us sayin that we are a team and said its about time and he kicked us out of the room. He knew he was in his last hours. This was really hard on me and my family. Tuesday night came and the doctor was surprised he was still alive and he prolly wouldnt make it through the nite. Staying the nite again we just kind of waited. Wed at about 2 we came back to the room from lunch it was just me my mom and my sisters.. sitting around him and he started gasping for breaths then i saw a tear drop and we just knew it was it i got the nurse and he came in and said he was gone. Just like that i saw him take his last breath it was so hard. He was a month away from his 58th birthday. I know he is in a better place now but my life has been so hard since. I feel that i am dying and feel like i have cancer because of a pain in my abdomen i went for a CT scan and blood test after they found a small amount of blood in my urine. the test came back good. but i still have the pain and worried that something is wrong with me.
Other then that small things now make me start thinging of him. Like wanting to talk about the yankees with him or other sports things. Then seeing my nieces whom he loved ask questions about him then at my nieces 4th birthday she made a wish that pa was back. I just broke down. My life isnt the same. i dont feel like goin out on the weekends only every once in awhile do i go out for a lil bit. I dont want to leave my mom. Im 23 years old and in my final semester of school but my grades are doing bad and i have no focus at all.
Im tring to get things back to normal. I hope i dont have anything wrong with me. Sorry this is so long i just wanted to get this off my chest......I hate the way my life is right now.

As a career Soldier, retired with twenty years. I've seen too much violent death, and to hear these stories is beautiful. My father had a stroke and is still struggeling with rehab, not sure how much longer he will last. However, regarding family members and the death vigil, I know that they can hear you all the way untill the end, even if they are unresponsive. I think it is so VERY important to keep talking to them as much as possible. Many people who have had near death experiences say they left theri body, kind of floated in the air and actualy observed the room from above, taking in the whole scend, their own body lying there, family members around the bed; everything. When my cousin passed I thought it was imporant to look up to the ceiling as though she were floating above us, and tell her we would see her again soon enough and to say hi to all our family members waiting for us in the next life.

:angel: When my Mom passed in 1999, we were all around her bedside....I had heard prior to her passing, not to stand at the foot of their bed because thats where the Angels will be when they come for your loved one. I always thought it was a foolish thought untill Mom was near the end of her life...she lay there in her own bed, in a comatose state, she ran a fever for a few minutes, then her breathing became very very shallow.......she was making movements with her mouth like she was trying to speak...the moment before her passing, she opened her eyes and stared right at my brother who was standing at the foot of her bed. Then she passed. I always wondered what she was trying to say, or why she looked at my brother like that----but remembering what I had heard about the angels, it did make me think! Three months later, Dad passed and tho I stayed with him as much as I could, I had my family and animals at home that needed me. I left the night before he passed and told him I would be back first thing in the morning....he said "Ok Honey----drive safe"...Ten o'clock the next morning the HOspice nurse called with the news that Dad had just passed. When I got there, she told me he went peacefully, opened his eyes, stared at the ceiling, let out a breath and was gone. I always hope he saw my Mom .

I just came home from holding a woman's hand as she died. It was strange before that because as the son of the woman and myself entered the hospice room she was in..we paused briefly at the doorway to say hello to the husband of her roomate. All of the sudden there was a flash of light on the other side of the curtain where my friend's mom was. Her husband and a coworker were standing at the foot of her bed. I asked my friend, who could possibly be taking pictures of his mother in her condition. We walked over to where his mother was and her eyes were just open. I sat down next to her and held her hand. Her hand was cold so I asked for a blanket for her and she took a breath. I was watching her closely to see if I could see the rise and fall of her chest and I felt for a pulse...there was none. I told my friend...I think shes not here anymore. The nurse came and confirmed it. I believe my friends mom went when the flash of light occured. I asked her husband if he saw the light and he said he did.
This confirms to me that you do not go alone. Whether it was a relative, an Angel for Jesus himself who took her is not known. But she was in peace. Has anyone ever heard of this flash of light in the room before? This is the first time I have been present at the time of death.

Could the flash of light have come from outside the window, like headlights of a car or something like that?

No, it was broad daylight on the fourth floor. I gotta believe it had to be an angel..what do you think?

Godiswithyou, I love your story. I recently lost my beloved Grandfather, and I like to think that his Daddy came for him in those last few moments to take him Home. :angel:

My grandmother passed away a couple of years ago at the age of 94. I wasn't with her because I live about 10 hours away, but my sister in law was there and she said a couple of hours before she passed away she had been in a real deep sleep, actually unwakable. Then she sat straight up in bed and and my sister in law asked her if she saw something, and she said yes, I see Jesus and he has my sister and my mother with him. She layed back down and fell back asleep. About half an hour later my sister in law said my grandmother opened her eyes REAL wide, then closed them and she was gone. My sister in law said it felt like the whole room was full of people. It was just a small hospital room, but she said she could just feel the presence of a lot of "people" surrounding her even though it was only her and my grandmother in the room. She said when my grandmother opened her eyes real wide like that, that she was sure she was seeing something wonderful.

Thats beautiful Tape7! It certainly gives those who have a fear of death a more peaceful feeling about it. I for one would prefer to go in the rapture lol but if thats not the case I hope it is as joyously as your grandmother went, with Jesus in her sights.

Hi Godiswithyou: Yes, I hope we do get to go in the rapture. From things I hear it may not be far off. My grandmother always hoped for that. I heard her mention it many times. That was one woman who really loved God. She was always curious about what it would be like in heaven, and now she knows. It makes me almost look forward to getting there in a way. The things they see at the moment of their death are probably more beautiful and peaceful than we can even begin to imagine.

I believe God gives us these precious moments before death with our loved ones and yes your mom did know you were there.

I had a friend who's 5year old daughter had an brain tumor. Near the end she was unable to walk or talk at all. Two days before her death she walked, yes walked into the kitchen and told her mom that God told her she wouldn't be in pain any longer. Two days later God kept that promise and took this sweet girl to heaven.

I don't know if you are spiritual or not but it does sound like God was there with your mom. My prayers are with your family. I am so sorry for your loss.
Barb

I was a nursing assistant for thirteen years ans =d have indeed been present when people have passed away. Part of our training is in care of the dying patient and one thing that is taught is that a persons sense of hearing is the last sense to go before death. So it is VERY possible she heard you, hope that helps..
Carly

That's also the way my grandmother did also.

My aunt battled breast cancer for several years(she was 42). She moved home from California when it moved to her brain and stayed with my grandparents for help. Hospice came in and made her comfortable at home. They were wonderful. I have a huge family and we're all spread out all over the country.She was deteriorating for a long time but could still get around. One day she was unable to eat, the next she wasn't able to communicate or move. Although we were told she was going to be leaving us at any moment now, she hung in there for three days until every one of our relatives had made it home to say goodbye. The last day, her sister was driving like mad from out of state to get to her in time and we kept telling my aunt she was coming even though she couldn't respond. She finally made it, said her peace, and most everyone else had left for the day. It was hard to watch. My uncle was the only one left in the room with her and he leaned down and whispered,"It's okay. You can go now."He left the room and came back about 5 minutes later and she was gone.I know she felt and heard us all. She was deeply religious and I think that although she wasn't afraid of dying, she wanted to make sure the rest of us would be okay. I think hanging around for one last moment with each of us was her way of giving us all some of the peace she felt.

I am so sorry for everyone.

I recently watched a man die as a result of a SUV / Motorcycle Accident. I still can't get this image out of my head. I am the one who called 911. I just watched him laying there & there was nothing I Could do.

I still have visions, & I have to drive past there like 3-4 times a week. I just can't seem to get it out of my head.

He was a stranger, but it was still very very hard.

i was also there before my mother passed away and hospice was coming into my home for her. She had been in a coma or what ever for almost 8 days with no food or water then out of the blue one morning she opened her eyes and was completely awake asked for a kiss and something to eat , my brother and sisters were also there and she wanted a kiss from all ,about 15 minutes later after eating some pudding she went back to sleep and passed away a few hours later in all of our arms. to look back and remember it is horrible but yet peaceful and blessed at the same time. My first thought as she took her last breathe was how she looked. the sickly color had left and her color was of soft ivory and it surrounded her.

My 17 year old son Zachary just passed away on May 14th. My husband and older two sons were at his side. He had a rare neurological disease and we had been taking care of him at home for 5 years. He saw Jesus in our home on many occassions as well as my father who had passed away in 1998. Zachary's passing was very peaceful, his daddy was laying in bed with him and my sons and i were right there holding his hands, kissing him and telling him that we loved him. when we could tell tht it was only going to be moments before he was gone, my husband told zachary that he was giving him to jesus to take home, my husband closed his eyes and i told him that zachary was gone. so we know that yes, people in their last moments of life can and do hear you talking to them. even though your mom did not respond by saying anything her eyes opening was a sign that she was hearing you and knew that you were there. our hospice nurses told us that zachary would hear everything that we were telling him and i really believe them. he was semi-comatose for last weeks before he passed away, yet was able to become alert enough to tell us tha the loved us and that he wanted "to go home", 48 hours prior to his passing he opened his eyes and told us that heaven was in the room and that he was going to go there when he died. this all came from a little boy who hadn't really said sentences much at all in the last year of his life.

So i believe!!

Ann

This is going to be the first time I have told anyone exactly what happened in detail during the last moments of my loved ones lives, so please be patient if I run off a little, these wounds are still very fresh, and run real deep for me.

I lost my mother on May 25, 2004 in my home from lung cancer/brain cancer. She was on hospice for 3 months prior to her death and its what she had wanted. The night before her passing she said that she was more tired then she had ever been, and it wasn't a druggy type of tired, she asked that I not leave her alone because she was scared of dying alone, so I stayed next to her bedside holding her hand as she sleep. At 3:30am she woke up and was more alert and aware then she had been in months. She said she had no pain and we talked for almost 45 minutes. She remembered things so clearly during that conversation, finally she said that she needed to rest and couldn't fight any more, that if she should die soon that I am to tell my father who also was terminally ill she loved him and would see him again soon. Then she closed her eyes for a moment, after a minute or so she opened them again and told me to tell Tim (my older brother) that she will hold his hand again soon and not to be afraid. This of course threw me for a loop because we had not seen or heard from my brother in over 10 years. I tryed to ask what she meant by that comment but she just smiled, gripped my hand a little tighter and closed her eyes again. About 20 minutes later her eyes opened wide, her grip got really tight on my hand, she made a gasping sound, her grip loosened, her chest lowered and she was gone.
So yes, I believe death can be painless, and that our love ones are aware of what is happening. When moms eyes opened for that last time she looked straight at me, not just towards me with emptyness, she knew I was there, and I believe she was saying goodbye with her eyes.

My father was always had been a very introverted man, Very quiet and low key. When my father spoke, everyone listened, we all knew that for him to say something it was important enough for you to really listen. After I had to move both my parents into my home 5 months prior to my moms death my fathers already fragile heath began to decline even more rapidly. He had been diagnosed with CHF and COPD years before and had been on O2-24/7 for quite some time. My moms death really hit him hard and I feel his death process started on that day. Three days before he passed he stopped eating, which for a 6'5" 200lb man was hard to see, he slowly pulled away from my children, the day of his death, April 16, 2005, he was non-responsive unless I spoke loudly and suddenly. At around 2:00pm I had begun his breathing treatment, he seemed to relax a bit at first, about half way through the treatment (10 min) his eyes open slightly, and he had a strange smile on his face, he looked at me, said "Know that I have always loved you, and you have been a doll of a daughter" he then closed his eyes. I had begun to cry at this time, and when I wiped away the tears with a tissued and looked back down at him he was no longer breathing. So again I know that he was aware of what was happening.

Now the really strange part, my brother who had basically disappeared from our lives 10 years previously came to my fathers funeral. He had left after a real nasty arguement between him and my parents. After the services he came to my home, played with his niece and nephews, he even met my youngest son for the first time. We began to talk and I told him about what my mother had said. He looked at me and I wish I could explain the expression on his face. He had just found out a week earlier that he had stomach cancer it was rapidly spreading and was beyond conventional treatment options. A week later (April 24, 2005) I received a call at 2 in the morning from the hospital that my brother may not make it through the night. I went straight to his side, he was heavily medicated and had fallen into a coma hours earlier according to the nurses. I sat with him throughout that night around 3pm the following day I noticed his feet moving side to side, and his hands would fist up and release. I was told by the doctors and nurses that it was involuntary muscle moments. About 6pm that evening I was eating a sandwich while sitting next to him on his bed and he grabbed my skirt hem, his eyes opened, he had such a look of distress and pain on his face that it broke my heart. As he closed his eyes a tear fell and he arched his back his mouth opened and he moaned, his body fell back on the bed and he too was gone. Even with all the medication and the bodys own defense of a coma, he still was in intense pain. That look is more imbedded in my mind then my parents last moments.

In my heart I know that mother knew my brother was ill even before he did, and since no one knew where he was at that time she couldn't have know. She was trying to let me know that she was going, and both my dad and brother were going to be joining her soon. There is no other possible explaination.

I know there are going to be some out there that dont believe what I have just told you, and that is fine, but please if you must reply try not to be cruel in your disbelief. Thank you

I believe you--and am so sorrry for your losses. I had a similar situation w/my father.
Please know you are not alone either. My heart goes out to you.
Happyelf

Your stories of seeing loved ones comfort me very much.
someone once told me that when your in heaven you dont know who anyone is, we're not how we are here on earth we dont have our families like we do here.
When my grandpa died that made me so upset for a long time. The only thing that kept me going was knowing I would see him again sometime.
But when he died it was at home, for weeks we knew it was coming. He couldnt get out of bed, he bairly opened his eyes or even moved. Probably once or twice a day he would open his eyes and look around sometimes he would say "I love you" but then there would be days where he wouldnt even open his eyes. The night before he died everyone in the family EVERYONE was in his bedroom and he opened his eyes and started talking more than he had in weeks. He told everyone that he loved them and he was moaning the words "im dying, im dying"
He said to my mother in romanian " Natalie is the sadest" (talking about me) and he told my brother to make sure my grandma is taken care of.
then the next morning he was gone.

I was with my husband who passed this month. Michael had been ill with matatisized prostate cancer for 3 years. he spent all of Jan and Feb in the hospital, I brought him home for 10 weeks until things got so medically complicated I had no choice but to put him back in the hospital. I had been staying with him and on june 2nd , I sang our favorite song to him in his ear and told him if he sees Jesus to run to him. I told him I loved him, then kissed him and to my surprized he kissed me back. that night I went home to take a hot bath at 7pm and returned to hospital at 8pm he died at 8:30. He was 53 years old. Before Michael I had never been to a funeral or had a loved one pass. I am a mess. But Yes I do believe your mom heard you, hearing is the last thing to go.

My Aunt died at home after a long battle with cancer. She had been in and out of consciousness. Most of her family was in the room with her when she woke up and told them that she loved them and closed her eyes and died peacfully.I have worked in a hospital the past 23 years and have often been around in the final hours of life and during many deaths. It has always fasinated me how many people near death have conversations with their mothers. One night as I listened to an elderly man talk with his mother and say to her " should I come now mother?" Ok I will come" ( and yes he died soon after that) He did not appear to see any of us that came in the room but was watching something not visible to us ..his mother? I found great comfort in the fact that perhaps our loved ones especially our mothers are there waiting for us, guiding us into the next life. I also was in a code situation with a man in his 90's we worked on him but could not get him back, the doctor left to tell his wife of close to 70 yrs and she burst in the room crying and saying " come back. don't leave me I need you" and to everyones surprize his heart started beating again and he started taking breaths, All of us like to think that their love was so great that he did come back for her.A short time later , she said " I am so sorry but I am being selfish go ahead if you like its ok." He died a second time and all of us stood there in amazement. So yes people are aware of loved ones and hear loved ones as they die. At least I believe they do.

Hi,

when my little 6 year old son died, I was right there with him. I was standing above him giving him his medicine down his Naso-tube, which is also how I had to feed him. He was very very ill and could not move. Suddenly his eyes became very wide and he turned his head to look directly at me, which was a miracle, because he was critically ill and had never moved oar said a word in his life, he was severely handicapped. the look he gave me was as if he was saying, " mommy, come and kiss me goodbye, I am going soon" within 20 minutes, my little brave son took his last breath, opened his mouth and was gone. The worst part of this whole passing over was when I cradled my son closer to me, he made a gurgling noise, I thought he was trying to breath again, and I frantically tried to help him, telling him, he was so clever, he can do it, just breath....but the paramedics told me, there is no heart beat, it's what they call the death sound, when the throat muscles relax.

According to some expert, the organ, which will die last, is the brain and also the ears still could hear the voice when a patient has coma condition. I am quite sure that during their last time, people could hear the voice surround them and recognize the presence of their families and loved one, but because their body does not have functionality again they could not communicate.

I wish it will make their journey to heaven easier if we show our love and accompany them even at the time they could not reply us.

My grandmother was in coma condition for several days before she woke up for a moment and talked that she wanted to meet her families, and then back to coma again, and passed away when her family already there.

All of us will back to the place where we came from

My DH passed away 23 days ago from pancreatic cancer. He had only been diagnosed 4 months but had been sick since last August. His 2 fears about dying were that he'd be forgotten and that he'd be alone. Neither of them happened. In the last month of his life, there must have been a dozen people a day to see him, and the night before he passed, there were about 30 people in and out of our home at one time or another. I stayed on the floor beside his recliner (which he preferred over his hospital bed), only leaving his side to go to the bathroom. (Fortunately, my SIL brought me food so I could stay beside him.) He would become agitated when I'd have to leave him for even a minute, but calmed right down when I got back to my spot beside him.
During the very early morning of the day he passed, I was lying on the floor beside his chair holding his hand. All the lights were off in the room except the small light over the aquarium. My brother was asleep in my recliner, DH's best friend asleep on the couch. Our daughter was asleep in her room. I was wide awake listening to the last few hours of my DH's breathing when I closed my eyes and saw the white light. I opened them, thinking that someone had turned a light on in the room, but all were still asleep and the room still pretty dark. When I closed my eyes again, I saw the light again, with silhouettes of people in the white light. I opened them again and the light was gone, closed them again and the light was back with the people again. I sat up and asked DH if he saw the white light, but he didn't respond. I saw this again several times while resting my head on his chair, holding his hand. Just a few hours later he passed peacefully with all of us around him, holding his hands or just touching him. When our hospice nurse came to pronounce him, I told her what I had seen. She told me that a few other family members had told her the same thing before their loved ones had passed and that it was a special gift that had been given to me to be allowed to see the path he was taking. Of course I knew that he'd gone to be with Jesus and that our relatives had come for him. It helps me to know where he is. I've seen it! While I wanted 30 more years with him (he was only 54) I know I'll be with him for all eternity.

bkberries--So sorry for your loss. At least you were able to have a wonderful glimpse of his next journey. Truly a gift. Hopefully that image will carry you to a time when the grieving isn't so painful. Wishing you health and happiness.

Thank you, mightyquin. Some folks might think that I'm nuts. One "friend" made reference to the "dream" I had... Not a dream. I was as awake then as I am now. Have any others out there had a similar experience?

This is a little off the subject. But my father died a year ago. He had a stroke, and I lived a state away. I called the hospital and begged to speak to him, but they wouldn't let me, even when I explained I was out of state. The nurses told me he was given TPA and was "lucky" and had a good chance of recovery.

I was worried, but hopeful. I tried to get in touch with family to go out of state with me (to the hospital to see my father), but with no luck, it was Friday night. The next morning before I woke, I had the strangest dream. I dreamed that my father walked out of the hospital, and just kept on walking, and I knew he was coming. I could see him walking accross a bridge on his way. And he walked all the way to my front door (to the sate where I lived), and I opened the door, and he was wearing this green coat with fur around the hood, and he just smiled, walked in, and then hugged me. I started to tell him I'd take care of him while he recovered from his stroke, and immediately I woke up (before I could finish my sentence).

As I sat up in bed, I could see my husband already awake in the room. I told him about the dream, and he acted scared and said I'd better get to the hospital right away. I planned with my brother how to go down there, and he wanted to leave early the NEXT morning. Because, after all, we were told our father was improving a little. So at 8 the following morning (on Sunday), right before my brother knocked to pick me up, I got a call from my uncle that my father had been put on a ventilater. We left right away, and got there 3 hours later.

Nurses told us he only had a weak gag reflex, no cornea reflex, and it didn't look good. A few hours later and his gag reflex was gone. He never woke up again. He was brain dead that day. I was devestated because I was always "daddy's girl", and he was only 56. The stroke was very sudden and very unexpected.

I have always believed that he knew I couldn't get there in time and he came to see me. I wonder "why me" and no one else. But I was the closest to him. I wondered how he could come and see me when we were told he was improving and was still alive and talking!

However, when I got his medical records, they reveiled that the TPA had caused a bleed in his brain on Friday night, and there was a mass effect as well, AND his cornea responses were slow. (this was the night before my morning dream) He had died about 5AM the NEXT morning, less than 24 hours after the dream. This still gives me chills, because the dream was so real.

There is so much we don't know about dying. We just don't know. But I definately believe there is life after death. When I went to get a P.O. box for my dad's mail, they gave me his birthday as the box number. I believe he's around and alive in the after life.

Wow - what amazing coincidences there can be around death and the afterlife! I experienced a few when my mum died recently:

She died on new year's eve 2004, even though the Dr's predicted she would die early the previous day - she hung on for 16 hours, unconscious and struggling for each breath.....this was somewhat freaky because her own mum died 64 years before - on new year's eve 1940!

Mum didn't want a funeral, so we thought it would be nice to include a photo of her in the newspaper notice - I had a particular photo in mind but was concerned that I wouldn't find it in time for the newspaper deadline - I had to look through 100s of photos. Luckily I found this particular photo after only a few minutes. When I was sitting in the funeral home, submitting her obituary, I was looking at the photo and realised for the first time that the position/angle of her shoulders, neck and head were EXACTLY the same as the position she died in!

She and dad had some spring-flowering bulbs in their front garden for six years, which mum really wanted to flower each spring....they never did .... until two days after she died - in the middle of our Australian summer! They flowered just in time to put some in her coffin.

My cousin Susan, spoke to a large photo of mum's deceased brother the day after mum died, talking about the death and that he had his favourite sister with him now..... Susan then left the hallway where the photo was, went to the kitchen and heard a loud crash - her father's photo had fallen off the wall, but was undamaged....Susan was freaked out because the photo was secured to the wall by two separate hooks!

It really does make you wonder what it's all about!? I definitely now think there is more to things and death than what meets the eye.

Cheers, Helen

emmab... first let me say how much love and hugs you need right now.. **big time huggles** and how wonderful that you were there for her right to the very end.. some people can't stay in the same room sometimes with their close relative that means so much to them, to be with them at that very hour that they are passing... it takes grit sometimes to be able to do this.. and a massive amount of love for that loved one... and for that, i commend you.. :)

i have been at several of my relatives bedsides when they have passed.. and they have all done pretty much like you describe here in your post... i have been lucky that a few of my relatives have spoken to me just before they went.. and what they speak of is friends and relatives that are there for them and want them to leave with them.. I've even had them look at me and ask me it it was ok if they went now... which of course I told them yes.. I would miss them terribly, but we will all be together again someday.. so to go ahead and go to the family now.. and I would see them later.. :)

So to answer your question if your mum knew you were there.. most definitely.. and she knew of your love for her..
her looking around her room was prolly the same as for my relatives.. her family had come for her and was waiting on her to come with them.. :) and that is such a wonderful thing.. that we all come back for our loved ones when it is their time.. I kind of got my own theory on that too.. I think our family and loved ones come to help us to the other side.. and to take away the fear of the unknown.. they take us in hand and show us around our new world.. and above all else.. they show us love and compassion for our new adjustment.. I know it is hard to do now.. but please be happy for your mum now.. because I'm so very sure she is really getting all she needs with love, support and happiness... and if she was ever in any pain.. all that is gone now.. :)

i hope this helps you.. sincerely.. Pixii

My own Mother passed away a few months ago and I was there.My Mom too opened her eyes wide open a few min. before she drew her last breath.Her nurse told me before it happened that alot of people do this at the end.I do not think anyone could know why this sometimes happens.Sounds like your Mom was ready and prepared.God bless you.

First of all i am so sorry for your loss .I'm glad that you got to be with your mom at the end. My mom was in a coma and we had her taken off the ventilater. We expected her to pass soon after ,but she held on for a week. She actually passed on the 18th anniversary of my brothers death. Makes me wonder if that's why she held on.. I wish I could have been there when she passed. She passed at 4am. I usually sat with her untill midnight or so,then would go home and come back in the morning. While i sat with her i would hold her hand and talk to her. I would tell her i loved her and that she was the best mom ever etc...but that is was okay to go as we would be okay . She was such the caregiver. I knew she would worry about leaving us.

Since this discussion has included the afterlife etc. I would like to tell my story in hopes that it will also bring some comfort to those of you that may wonder about what comes next. ....I have a music box on my dresser that my husband gave me..it is very beautifull and sentimental to me ,but has been broken for years. After my brother passed 18yrs ago i was very distraught.I was in my bedroom begging him to let me know he was okay ..when all of a sudden my music box started playing. I knew it was broken so to say I was shocked would be putting it mildly. I also got the most joyfull feeling i've ever had. It's almost indescribable how joyfull I felt.(The only thing that comes close is the moment of my daughters birth.) After it stopped I understood that my brother was showing me what it was like for him. It's eighteen years later and I still have the music box on my dresser ,it's still broken,has not played a note since that day. It's a week after my mom's passing. I am in the bedroom thinking about her when the music box starts playing. This time it goes on and on and on untill i say out loud. " Okay mom,i get it it." And then I had to laugh as that was so like her. In the next two weeks it plays 2 more times right when I'm at my very lowest points. That was 3 years ago and it hasn't played since.

I know this is not pertinent to your original question so please forgive me....but all the posts on here just moved me so much ..and i felt I needed to share this . I am so not afraid to die now ,and i know your mom and all the other loved ones on here who have passed are in a wonderfull place,and we will see them again.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. It does get easier with time .Although I still miss my mom terribly, I can think about her now without feeling like my heart is going to shatter in a million pieces.

My Dad died 6mos before my brother,but except for a dream that wasn't really a dream in my mind..I haven't "heard" from him. But then again he was always the quiet one, and that wouldn't have really been in his character. .

I've also had a similar experience after my Grandfather passed a few years back suddenly of a heart attack.

I had a series of dreams earlier this year that were something I could only describe as 'vivid'. I knew they were dreams, but they were so realistic they felt very different. Very strong emotionally.

Anyway, in those dreams I was at my Grandfather's place looking for him. I knew he'd died, but I expected to see him there and after a few dreams he was there. He looked a lot younger than I remember him and was fit as a fiddle. He was with a bunch of other people whom I didn't know and he said to me that he had to go.

Naturally, I was very upset when he said that, I told him I loved him and didn't want him to go but he smiled and left. After that, I haven't had a dream like that since.

I am the first to say I am not in any way psychic, but that experience was about as close to one as I've ever had and it was quite moving to say the least.

It is definitely my hope that if I go before my wife, my grandfather is there to bring me across.

I has been 3 years ago today my mom went in the hospital, I was up getting ready for work when my half sister called and told me I might need to come up there, I got up there I could tell my mom didn't feel good she had lung cancer, my dad had a dr app and my sister went on and took him , it was just me and my mom there I cooked breakfast for her she ate a good breakfast then she got sick and I told her i was calling a ambulance and when my mom agreed I knew she was bad that wasn't like my mom at all, I rode with her to hospital she was there for 6 days before she passed away, I was there the whole time,on the day she passed away they had her sedated I was standing there holding her hand, her breathing was very hard, all of a sudden she opened her eyes and let out a big deep breath and closed her eyes, I knew right then she was gone, it was like a relief for her I could tell, I think of her daily I miss her so much,

Linda

I have been present at the passing of many people. I am sure that your mother could hear/sense you there. Many times, in my many years of experience, I have been with a family during a death and the patient does something so significant immediately preceeding the actual time of death. To ease your mind, during what seems to be (and most of the time is) the time of taking one's last breath, it is common for a person to do what seems to be a gasp. It is a reflex, something that the body does, almost every death I have witnessed has it occur. It is not a sign of distress or pain or struggling. It is simply a part of the body shutting down. I am sorry for your loss. I lost my grandmother last year. I begged for hospice during her last hours (I am deeply involved in hospice), however, I couldn't be with her. It was too painful for me. I still, after a year, grieve for her daily.

Amy

Im so sorry for your loss. ((big hugs to you))
I was raised by my grandparents from 3 weeks old. On June 10th, my grandma passed away after a 5 day battle in a stage 6 coma. The said she was brain dead. My beliefs are very different from theirs though. As she was laying there in the Hospice house, we would talk to her. We would start to cry as we told her how much we love her and how much we're going to miss her...and how much shes going to love it up in Heaven. Shed cry along with us. No facial movement, but tears. Not just wet corners of the eyes, full tear drops. She could hear us, just like your mother could hear you.

The Hospice house gave us a book on what to expect. Im going to tell you something from that book, I think you might find it comforting. In the book, it says some people, their eyes will open wide and go around the room. This is caused by a near death experience. In the book, it also says that when they do that, they're seeing all the family and friends they have lost in the past, welcoming them with open arms.

I believe this to be extremely true. Not only because its a beautiful thing to think, but because my grandma did the same thing right before her breathing turned to 3 breaths per minute. Her breathing did go back up after that, but she passed away only a few hours after it happened.

Now, my grandfather is running out of time due to lung cancer that spread to his brain, which he found out he had and was given 44 weeks to a year to live ((with treatment)) exactly one month after my grandma passed.

I grieve for my grandma every second of everyday. The 10th marks 5 months since shes been gone and Im sorry to say the time still stands still for me. Possibly because Im again, sitting here helplessly watching my grandpa slowly die, just as I did with my grandma.

My heart goes out to you and your family. :angel:

When my Father passed away 15 years ago from Cancer-the nurse that was caring for him told us the same thing...and told us if we wanted to talk to him... It's amazing how the body shuts down.

The Hospice house gave us a book on what to expect. Im going to tell you something from that book, I think you might find it comforting. In the book, it says some people, their eyes will open wide and go around the room. This is caused by a near death experience. In the book, it also says that when they do that, they're seeing all the family and friends they have lost in the past, welcoming them with open arms.

I believe this to be extremely true. Not only because its a beautiful thing to think, but because my grandma did the same thing right before her breathing turned to 3 breaths per minute. Her breathing did go back up after that, but she passed away only a few hours after it happened.

That's good to hear. When my grandmother was dying in 93 (she was 90) I didn't see her but my mother witnessed this behavior of eye tracking and looking around and found it very disturbing and frightening. So I did not go into see her at the end. Thanks for posting that. It's always bothered me.

My mother married a man who loved her very much and together there relationship with the Lord grew strong. He was a diabetic with various other health problems and as time passed his body failed him but his faith in the Lord only grew stronger. His decline was slow & difficult. His last year he was in the hospital more than he was at home. On one of my visits with him I could see he had grown so weary,was so ready to be through this. He found the strength to endure this through the Lord and shared this story with everyone. I've never seen anyone as sick as he was yet he praised God for every opportunity he had been given to witness for him. The week before he died the hospital arranged for hospice to help us so we could take him home. Hospice nurses talked to us & gave us some literature to read. He had one day that was remarkable because he was so awake as if he was going to recover completely,however, his health remained unchanged. The following day he was back to sleeping mostly, groggy, fitful, glossy look to his eyes. The night before he died I was resting in the next room, and heard him talking,saying...Is someone there? I got up quickly and ran in & said yes we're all here. The way many of you described that gazing past you and looking around the room as if the room was full of people....almost as if it was more important such an odd faraway looking in his eyes. He was "awake" very late that night. The hospice assistant came in, I was helping her bath him, rubbing him with lotion. He was so relaxed, asked him if this felt good and he shook his head. We rolled him to his side and he began whispering something so fast, I bent down to listen, could see he was having trouble, turned him upright quickly and his color changed. My mother and everyone else all gathered quickly around him. He tried very hard to draw in a breath, tensed and relaxed, became so still. I felt such guilt afterwards because I just wanted him to be able to rest instead of bathing him even though he seemed to enjoy it. I was relieved that he was in a better place away from the pain & agony of his illness. I saw him become so incredibly still but was comforted to know his spirit moved on to the place that he was with his Lord.

First of all, I would like to give my condolences to all on here who have lost loved ones.
Last year on the 5th of december i lost my brother to a terminal brain disease he was 10 and i was 13. I was with him the last few weeks before his death. He was in a medically indused coma but i believe he could still hear or sence i was there. Occasionaly he would open his eyes wide looking around, it seemed that it toke him so much effort. I was sitting next to him one day, holding his hand almost saying my goodbyes when a saw his chin quiver and a tear run down his face. I don't know to this day if he knew what i was saying but i believe that they can still hear you. During the day they turned of his life support his breathing slowed and even stopped a few times, just when they thought he had stopped breathing he toke another breath... he didn't want to go. Just before he passed away the same thing happened to me as it did to you. He opened his eyes and looked straight into mine, i saw saddness but also relief. He then closed them and stopped breathing. There will never be an answer to what they see but you must believe what you feel is right.
Hope that helped *hugs*

All these stories break my heart. I know so many on here have experienced loved ones dying, and I also know you're glad they aren't in any more pain. But at the same time, it's heartbreaking to watch someone you love die, along with loving.

I watched my mom die, and in her case, it was 'so' horrible. She died in her own house with family there, but was in a lot of pain, moaning all night. We tried to get hospice out there, but nobody came to give the meds. We tried to give some, but she couldn't take them by mouth, or anal. It was awful, and haunted me for a year. Nightmares, crying, and I got myself so sick that I almost died myself.. The memory still is bad, but she's out of pain and that's the important part..

BUT NOW...

My dad is dying from Leukemia as we speak. He's in bad shape, and Dr's say it is only a matter of weeks. He's been with me since his strokes last year at this time, so it's going to be hard to let him go. I just don't have the words to say, and it's so upsetting that tears are flowing just thinking about it.

May God Bless you all, and comfort you all...