Hello,

I have an ethical question for you all please and would appreciate your opinion. I am concidering switching REs Because wonderful though he is he gave up on me after testing me on day 90 and 91 of my cycle and getting an FSH of 41. He says there is no way I will ever concieve EVER. Now, it is my undertanding that one's true FSH is day 3. I asked him to rested me on day three and he said that my numbers would absolutely be lower but it would give me false hope. He has decided I am done based on this test and years of irredular periods. I have made arrangements to get a sedcond opinion and would like to just start fresh and not request my records from my current RE. Because I haven't really made a frim decsion to leave him just yet... he is kind, and i know he does the does the doner egg programme which may indeed be my only option. Does this seem like an unethical thing to do ?? Am I out of line as a patient here ??? I appreciate all your input and baby dust all round

ladytafs~
By all means - get a second opinion. You have that right and I believe that he will understand this. If he doesn't, then he isn't a good doctor. Many doctors know and understand that we (as women ttc) don't want to give up... but they just don't know what else to do for us - so seeing a secondary RE is a good idea. The worst that can happen is that you hear the same information for a second person.... but we will all hope & pray that you don't.
Remember YOU are the patient. You deserve to get the answers and make certain they are the most accurate answers at that!!! Good luck to you and keep us posted.
Hugs and babydust --- Jen :angel:

Hello,

OK ... welll I just phoned the only other place that could help me in my area. And they don't do IVF on single women...... I think I may cry. My own doc is really pushing the doner egg programme. I will do this if I have to but would prefer to have my own ova. Any ideas ??? Suggestsions ??

Thank you,

A frustrated little lady taffington

Have they been able to tell you the reason for your irregular periods? I would not stop until I got an answer, maybe there's a fixable reason and maybe once you're regulated your fsh will go back to normal. Some doctors won't take on certain cases because they're success stats might go down. I really think you should get a second opinion. If you can't get another RE to do IVF because you are a single woman which I think is rediculous too, I think you should at least find a doc (gyn or RE) to find out what's causing the irregular periods, fix that problem, and then if your fsh goes to normal, you can go back to the first RE for the IVF. If your fsh doesn't return to normal, maybe you can go back to the first RE for the donor egg program if that's an option for you.
Good luck. I just had to post a reply because I know doctors aren't always right. It took me a while to find one willing to investigate what was causing my problem instead of trying to just treat the symptoms.
Stacy

Thank you so very much,
You are very very kind. I have started Julia's diet...and have not had diet coke in 4 days which is a record for me. And thank god the caffiine withdrawl wasn't that bad at all. I truely think ... and this is my own little diagnosis. it is a diet issue with me. When I didn't eat so poorly I was like clockwork. The good thing is ... my diet wasn't awful for my whole life.. so .. perhaps there is a chance I can reverse this. The body is resilliant and strong and I haven't given up hope yet even though the doc says my chances are "less than one percernt" . The ONLY reson I am not jumping right on the doner egg programme is my parents, and my grandmother. I don't really care about passing on my genes... but my mum and grandma were so wonderful I want a part of them to go on in some way. My dad is excellent also, and I want my baby to be connected to them . That's why I am not giving up. Thank you so much for being so kind and tons of cuddly baby dust.

Just to note...I realize that my genes are their genes... what I mean is ...if they weren't so wonderful I wouldn't care about passing on my genes.... er....OK... this week has been a bit too much for me... he he he .... sorry... still in a wierd frame of mind... My head has been spinning since my meeting with the doc.

Ladytafs - I wish i had seen your post earlier ... i am in the same situation. After 3 unsuccessful IUI's, my doctor *finally* (belatedly, i think) tested my FSH via a clomid challenge test. My day 3 result was fine, but my day 10 was in the 40's. He told us to give up and pursue either adoption or egg donation. I proceeded to do *a lot* of research on the topic. Here's what i found: A diagnosis of "poor ovarian reserve" reduces the chances of getting pregnant with your own eggs to single digits - possibly as low as 1%. It's not impossible, but extremely unlikely. It normally occurs in women in their mid 40's but it can happen at any time - i'm only 38. Poor ovarian reserve also increases the possibility of genetic abnormalities such as downs syndrom by a factor of 3. Now, the next question is how is a diagnosis arrived at: there are several indicators: high day 3 FSH (>15), high day 10 FSH in a clomid challenge, small size of the ovaries, low "antral follicle count" (i.e., the number of follicles queued up for the current month - this can be determined by the day 3 ultrasound). Different doctors and different studies disagree on which of these methods is most accurate at identifying poor ovarian reserve but most seem to think that if you respond poorly to stimulation medicines and if you have any of the indicators for poor ovarian reserve even if you don't have all of them (and even if you you only have sporaidic high FSH numbers), then the odds are extremely high that you have poor ovarian reserve. Sorry for the long explanation, but it's a complex issue.

After my initial diagnosis, i repeated the clomid challenge with another doctor and got similar results. BUT he was ready to accept me for an IVF if i accepted the fact that my odds of success were low. I was then tested by a third doctor and unfortunately my hormone results were even worse than the first two doctors (day 3 FSH of 19.9). So, given the higher chance of fetal abnormalities, we have decided to pursue an egg donor. It's been a very difficult decision and will undoubtedly be a difficult journey ahead.

So, i have two key messages: 1) understand your diagnosis and why the doctor has told you what he's told you - research, research, research, and 2) don't give up until you're convinced that it's best to move on to the next option. If you move on to egg donation or adoption too soon you might have regrets down the road.

Good luck & baby dust!