Not sure if I am in the right forum, i will give it a try anyway.
I have already posted in liver disorders, now I will try here

My dad had to have his gall bladder removed due to gall stones. The surgery was cancelled by the anesthesia doctor because no stress test was given for his heart, well they found that he had 80 to 90% blockage in the main artery but could not due surgery because of the fluid that had suddenly built up in his belly, so they drained it and had to find out what caused it so they eventually did a biopsy on his liver.

They diagnosed him with liver cancer and after doing a ct scan, said there was nothing that could be done for this type of cancer, said he had a 7 cm tumor on the inside of his liver, that it had not spread it was only in the liver and gave him six months to live and told him chemo could maybe prolong his life a few months, but that would be it.

He has decided not to take chemo for his grand kids sake, what is another 2 months. I have been looking up a lot of things on the internet and have maybe gotten my hopes up for not. I do not want to go with my dad about the info for incase I just read what I wanted it to say.

After reading all i read, it is just hard for me to accept that there is nothing they can do and that i only have another 4 or 5 months with him.

Please help, any info or advise would be much appreciated.
Thanks in advance

People hang onto hope for as long as they can - and that's ok.
In my family's case we hoped for a cure - and then gradually that changed to hoping that our Dad would be at peace without pain.
With the help of Hospice (I strongly recommend them) we attained that second hope.
No one can be expected to accept the news that one's parent is dying. And that there really is nothing that humans can do. We go through stages from denial, etc. to a final acceptance at the news that someone or ourselves will not live forever.

Hope is a good thing. Just be aware that what you hope/pray for may change a bit over time...
:angel:
:angel:

Thank you so much, my dad, I think, does not want to take treatments of any kind,even if there were more avaliable to him, Does not want to put his grand-kids through that, although not giving up, everyones prayers will help, if it is god will.
40% of his liver is nolonger working, so we have to pray for him and strength.
Just like with your dad i guess, please stay strong.
I am trying and will keep praying for a miracle.
We will get a Christmas miracle, my dad comes from a very close family of six brothers and sisters, my dad has been all over the world and the only place he has ever got excited about was the Grand Canyon, that is the only place he ever said he wants his kids and grandkids to see it one day because that place in itself is a miracle, well so he says. well aunts and uncles and friends have all gotton together and collected money to send my family of 8, my sisters of 5 and my dad and mom to the grand canyon for christmas. That really made him happy, he could not belieave it. Have not seen him smile when we told him, like that in a long time.
So if all stays the same and he is in good health and spirts then we will be going.
thanks
prayers,prayers Veronica

How are things going, Diva??
The prayers continue,
:angel:

Veronica,

i was told on dec. 3 that i have hepatocelluar carcinoma.

my tumor is 8cm and they are planning on removing it and burning or freezing about 6 small ones. Age may play a factor on whether surgery is an option. ( i am 43) But you may want to ask about that. The doctors i saw yesterday are feeling good about my surgery. At least that is what it sounded like. by the diagrams he showed me a lot of my liver will no longer be with me, but the liver regenerates.

I hope you all enjoy that vacation. my prayers are with you.

ronni

Ronnic, thank you, I think my dad needs a second opinoin but they did say that his liver is full of cancer cells, they just dont know exactly how much.
maybe that is why and he is 59 with an all of a suddun heart condition also, so maybe that is a factor also.
Goodluck too you.
Veronica

I'm sorry to hear about your dad, my mother just recently died from Liver Cancer Metasis. If he still does not want any treatment, the Hospice people are great, they helped my mother during her last days and were a big help to the family.

Thank you so much, I think he and we will need all the help and support we can get, I am sure Hospice will be called when needed.
Sorry to here about your mother, how long did she have to go through it all? How did you handle it? I am not sure if I will be able to.
Veronica

Hiya

My Dad has sceondary liver cancer which started in his colon. In the past they have been able to remove the tumours with a combination of chemotherepy and liver resections.

Over the past 8 years he has had long periods of time clear before the cancer has returned. In August of last year we were told that after three years of being clear the cancer had returned to his liver but also his lymphnodes.

They put him on intensive chemotherepy but he was so ill. he lost his hair and was just really weak. I hated seeing him like that it was horrible so i can understand totally why your dad does not want to go through chemotherepy.

For my Dad, unlike before surgery is not an option and they have told him that this time they will not be able to cure it. Like your Dad he now has the decision as to whether or not he has more chemotherepy to prolong his life or whether he just lets nature take its course.

I don't know how old you are but i am just 16 and have a brother who is only 12. I know we were meant to lose him 8 years ago and so are very blessed that we have been able to spend these 8 years together but still i won't have my dad there when i go to university, when i graduate, when i get married or when i have children. This really really hurts and seems so unfair.

I dont know how i feel it all seems so unreal and untrue and i am not as emotional this time as i have been in the past. I don't know what to do. I hope we can help each other as we can understand what we are all going through.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and i pray God can guide and bless you and your family.

Spag, thank you so much for your reply, I commend you for being so mature through out your dads illness, at one point I thought i was going through the worst thing in the world, but as I see there are less fortunate then me.

I am 32 years old with children of my own, and my dad has been there for all that, I cant think about if this would have happened when I was in high school.

My dad seems to be ok he has his good, bad and really bad days, we will just see how it goes.

Thank you so much for your prayers, you and your family will also be put in ours, and if you ever need to chat i am here.

Thank you Diva10 for your message. i am nearly in tears I don't know why. I suppose for the first time in a while i really feel like people understand and really care. I love my friends i really do but they don't really know what it is like and even though they were really caring at the beginning its a bit like old news now.

What is happening with your Dad now? Do you do anything to help you cope with it all? I don't know about you but it all seems very unreal at the moment and hard to get my head round. Your Dad is still quite young just like mine. My Dad first got cancer when he was just 42 His friend died from it in his late 30's. My Dad celebrated his 50th birthday on Christmas Day. It seems very young to have him taken away.

Take care and thanks for your support. I am here for you as well and understand what it is like.

Hey Spag, sorry took a few days to reply, along with my dad I also have 1 yr old triplet daughters, so i am quite busy at times. lol

My dad is still with us, he has good and bad days, he is in a lot of pain often, we know nothing new, he has had no other test done since he found out about the liver cancer in November.

He, unlike your dad, has chosen for no kind of trearment, I really wish he would, I feel there are a few things out there for him. After hearing stories like you dads, I know that there are things they could try since his cancer had not spread as of the last test ran, but he and his wife, my step mother, refuse to check into any of that or even a second guess.

Yes, you are right, 50 seems very young, especially when you have youg children. My dad is 59, and and old as I thought he was, he now seems way to young for all this.

From being hardly sick a day in his life, to this.

But, as hard as it is and as unfair as it may all seem, we have to be strong. If not for ourselves and the people who need us to, like your lil brother, then for our dads.

I know I sit and think about what he is going through and to me it is the unamagianable.

lol and you are right to outsiders, thats what i call them, it does seem to be old news, they ask about my dad but, it is just not them same as talking to someone who is going through it or has been through it. Some one who understands.

So cry if you need to, I will be here to listen and so orthe people you are closest to you.

Paryers and hope!!

Thats ok! I',m sure your twins keep you very busy! But i suppose it must be something that keeps you going through everything.

You were saying about your dad deciding not to have treatment and as i may have already menioned my Dad is in the process of deciding whether or not to have more treatment. I can understand what you are saying about wanting your dad to have treatment but i can understand why he doesnt want to. The treatment my dad had, especially this time, made him so ill. He lost his hair and was so weak and down, he couldnt o much at all and seeing him like that what so nasty. To know that that treatment made no difference made it all worse. I had to watch my dad suffer for no result. I have come to believe that my dads quality of life is more important than the quantity of it. Don't get me wrong i love him soo much and really don't want to lose him but right now i want to spend decent time with him.

It is hard whatever age yu lose a parent but for both of us when they are still relatively young it seems even more unfair and cruel.

It is hard for us but I don't know how it must feel knowing that your time here is limited and that you will be leavin all your family and loved ones behind.

It is so nice to talk to someone who understands me ad knows what it is like you do not know how much your messages mean to me. I just thank God that i found this site and found you to support and be supported by.

Do you have a Christian faith? Do you live is the US? I live in England in Hampshire.

Take care and lots of love, prayers and hugs!

Thats ok! I',m sure your twins keep you very busy! But i suppose it must be something that keeps you going through everything.

You were saying about your dad deciding not to have treatment and as i may have already menioned my Dad is in the process of deciding whether or not to have more treatment. I can understand what you are saying about wanting your dad to have treatment but i can understand why he doesnt want to. The treatment my dad had, especially this time, made him so ill. He lost his hair and was so weak and down, he couldnt o much at all and seeing him like that what so nasty. To know that that treatment made no difference made it all worse. I had to watch my dad suffer for no result. I have come to believe that my dads quality of life is more important than the quantity of it. Don't get me wrong i love him soo much and really don't want to lose him but right now i want to spend decent time with him.

It is hard whatever age yu lose a parent but for both of us when they are still relatively young it seems even more unfair and cruel.

It is hard for us but I don't know how it must feel knowing that your time here is limited and that you will be leavin all your family and loved ones behind.

It is so nice to talk to someone who understands me ad knows what it is like you do not know how much your messages mean to me. I just thank God that i found this site and found you to support and be supported by.

Do you have a Christian faith? Do you live is the US? I live in England in Hampshire.

Take care and lots of love, prayers and hugs!

Spag, Thank you so much,
My dad passed away this morning from either heart faliure or liver failure,
Either way he is no longer here with us. It was such a shock, way to early, cant think right now will write a gain later
Hope your dad is doing ok, let me know,
Diva10

Diva 10. I am so so sorry. I cannot imagine how you must be feeling today or what must be going on in your life and in your mind. My thoughts and prayers are with you more than ever today and over the coming days and weeks. Take care and if you ever need to talk i am here to help and support you don't hesitate to talk to me but more than anything do what is right for you. I just pray God will hold you and your family and that he will look after your Dad now that he is with him. Love and best wishes. I am sorry i have no better words to say to you. Take care and love and best wishes and deepest sympathy. No words can take away this pain but i just pray that you will be comforted.

hi Diva10
You have been in thoughts and prayers so much over the past couple of weeks and i just wanted you to know that you haven't been forgotten. How are you? Love and prayers, take care Spag xxxxxx

Hey Spag, so sorry i havent written, I have been going through a really hard time as i am sure you understand,

My dad passing although expected it was way too soon and i have to say i have not handeled it to well, but I am doing ok now. My children keep me very strong.

When i got the e-mail that you had written I felt sort of a relieaf, joy, if you can understand that. So I am sorry, your support would probably have helped me through the last two weeks eaiser.

Thank you for thinking of me and my family.

How are you doing, and your dad, any thing new.

I have never stoped thinking of you, your brother or your family, you all are in my heart and prayers.

I am still here so please stay intouch,

Diva10

I'm really sorry I didn't make contact sooner. I canniot say anything to make the pain go away and i am really sorry but i do not know exactly what i can be saying. I know that the past couple fo weeks can't have been easy and the coming weeks too will be hard. It is good you are being strong for your children but don't hide evrything. You are only human and that means you aren't as strong as you would like to be. If you ever feel weak remeber i am here and you can say anything you want to. Also even though it may not feel like it right now because of all the pain you ahve gone throguh but God loves you soo much and he is your heavenly Father. Your Dad is with him, he has gone home. I just pray God will wrap his loving arms around you.

So how are you feeling today? It is very important to take each day at a time. Wht has been happening over the last couple of weeks?

My Dad is doing ok at the moment thanks.Nothing new here.

If i could give you a big hug right now I would. But take care and get in touch when you can

Spag

xxxx

Hey Spag,
How are you doing? Just wanted to say hello, see how you were doing.

That hug would do really well. lol I am doing good, a lot better then i was. I still miss and think of my dad all the time but I guess i have accepted that he is gone, but at times it is still hard, but thank god I have my kids to keep me busy.

Well that is pretty much it, keep in touch.
will write again later

lots of thought, love and hugs
Diva10

Hiya

I'm fine thanks. How are you? My mum and dad have just returned ffrom a couple of days away.

Sorry I cant give u a real hug but am sending lots of virtual ones!!

I am finding the waiting around quite hard with my dad and i hate not knowing what is going to happen and when. That probably sounds realy harsh to you and i'm really sorry.

How are your children find it all? What about ur mum? How was the funeral? Sorry you do not have to answer any of these questions if you dont want to.

Love and prayers,

Spag

xxx

People hang onto hope for as long as they can - and that's ok.
In my family's case we hoped for a cure - and then gradually that changed to hoping that our Dad would be at peace without pain.
With the help of Hospice (I strongly recommend them) we attained that second hope.
No one can be expected to accept the news that one's parent is dying. And that there really is nothing that humans can do. We go through stages from denial, etc. to a final acceptance at the news that someone or ourselves will not live forever.

Hope is a good thing. Just be aware that what you hope/pray for may change a bit over time...
:angel:
:angel:

i couldn't agree more about hospice ...

jb

Take a good look at diet!!!!!!!!!!! No doctors ever mention it, but it cures cancer!!!!! My friend had a tumor size of lemon in her head. She had surgery to remove it first then started chemo, twice. Didn't work. She changed her diet to only whole foods, no preservatives, or additives, sugar, white flour, and some other supplements. Tumor was gone next time she went to doctors office. No joke. Look up macrobiotics as well. Cancer is without a doubt curable, however no doctors will ever admit it.

Diva10, its been a while since I have spoken to you. How are you? How are things?

Hope to hear back soon,


Take care and my love and prayers are still with you and your family

Spag

Hey Spag, soooo sorry it has been sooo long, I am not even sure if you will get this or not, but I will try.
How are you doing? How about your family and your Dad?
I am doing good, I have good and bad days since my dad has passed, it has been 5 months and did not think that it would ever get eaiser but it has.
I really miss chatting with you and all others that were there for me when I needed you all the most with that said I will again say I am sorry for not being there for you Spag. I have never forgot you, I was just to selfish to think of someones else's pain.
Please forgive me.
Love and thoughts
Diva10

Hey Diva 10

I cant believe it has been five months since you lost your Dad. It seems to have passed quickly. Please dont feel bad for not beijng here for a while, it is not selfish it is what you needed and only natural. At times like this we need periods of time to focus upon ourselves and sort ourselves out rather than trying to help others. It is very good to have you abck and to be able to chat to you. How are you?

I also cannot believe that it has been nearly 11 months since we found out that my Dads cancer had returned. It has been a long and hard few months. I am going through lots of ups and downs, as is to be expected. Unfortunately I have suffered some really bad weeks over the past few months and am finding things tough and it all seems to hit me at once.

As is to be expected Dad is deteriorating. He is now on loads of medication including morphine. He sleeps for about two hours in the morning and two hours in the afternoon. Well tries to at least. He has lost a lot of weight and looks very skinny and frail. It is horrible.

Take care and I hope to hear from you soon, Im here for you

Love Spag
xxxxx

Hey Spag, I did not know if you would get my message since it has been so long.
But I am doing alright, It has been hard at times but as you said that is to be expected, I am now working on getting over the anger that I still feel towords the world, lol well that might be a little to much but I do feel anger but it has lessoned since I has been chatting in the grief forum. It is amazing how talking to others that have been through what you are going through can help so much, That is why I am so glad you got my message,

So sorry about your dads turn for the worse, is he taking treatments this go around, hopefully the Morphine will help him stay out of to mush pain, at the end they did not seem to help with my dad to much, but he also had a lot of toxins in his body also.
Your right ups and down days are to be expected but that does not make them any easier, for me it was different, for me it was all so fast, for you it is a daily thing that has gone on for so long, I seen my dads looks change but almost as soon as it all started it was over,
3 months at the time was 3 whole months but now seems like it was over night, you know, well maybe you dont,

Wish this was not true but things will probabley get worse before they get easier, just remember, there are people that are there for you and your family,
and of course there are your chatting friends here,

thought and hugs
Diva

Hey

Dad is not on treatment at the mo just tablets to ease the pain and stuff.

I know what you mean about a long time seeming so quick but also seeming to be forever.

I had a really really bad day yesterday. Becuase of his medication Dad is getting forgetful but also very snappy which is not like him. he keeeps snapping at all of us especially my mum and i which we undersatnd why but it is upsetting. Then Mum and I argue and yesterday I just ended up so low. I want to spend time at home and stuff and make the most of my time with my dad but at the same time i hate seeing him like this and dont want these to be my memories of him. I am feeling a bit better today but i just cant believe how bad a day i ended up having yesterday. Luckily a friend of the familys daughter who is a year older than me came and picked me up from college and took me to hers otherwise i think i may have ended up running away for a few days. I just don know what to do or how to cope with any of this. I sail along trying to get through it and thenend up like this.

Sorry about that long moan and that there.

Thank you for being there and it is so good to have you back.

Take care and I hope all is well with you, sorry this has been quiet a selfish message.

xxxxx

TheTwistedOne, my dad was not a canadet for a transplant due to his 80 to 90 percent blockage they found the week before he was told he had liver cancer.

Spag, dont ever appoligize for waht you feel or needing to talk or vent, by that I mean letting it out.

You have every right to feel the way that you do, although you seem to be a very put together young man, you have a lot on your plate, you are dealing with your dads illness, witch is by for the hardest thing you have ever gone through, your mum more then likely depends on you more then ever before to be like the man of the house, you have your lil brother to try and be strong for and you also have your studies to keep up with.

Yes, you are an exceptional young man Spag,

As you probably know your dad may not be aware of all his snappness and ofcourse the forgetfulness, none of that can be helped, your dad is in a fog due to the meds.

When my dad got to that point then me and my sister would ofcourse get upset but as mean as this will soung we would ignore it and treat him like a child and of a sort make a joke out of his meaness, it helped us get through it.
It was a lot harder for my stepmom to do because she was with him 24\7, as are you, but we had our own home, lives and children to take our minds off of dad for a time.

Aleast you have a friend that understands and can take you away from it all, try and do that atleast once a week are so, it is needed to keep your sanity, and dont ever feel guilty for that, as I said it is needed, if I did not have my children then my lord I would have been where you are at now,

So Spag please try and do that everyweek are so as I said, if not it will cause you to do something even more upsetting, like running away for a few days, witch in the long run will hurt the people you love most even more.

Hugs and thoughts
Veronica (diva)

Hey Veronica


Just to let you know im female!! lol!!

Thank you for beuing their and to listen.

I have really learnt that i cannot stay at home for too long and i do need to escape and i have been trying to do things to get me away from the house a bit and go out and take a chance to be me. It si the things that other people dont normally see which are the worst and in a way i do wish i didnt live here and could just come and visit him so i wouldnt have to seeit all. My Mum sees even more than i do and it hurts her a lot.

I will get there i just will have some really bad days ont he way like yesterday.

How are you doing today? How are your children? And your sister? How are they all finding everything?

Take care

xxx

I think I missed something. blockage of what?

Spag, lol I am so sorry, I just finished reading our passed messages and for some reason I really thought you were a sixteen year old boy, lol as I was reading the only thing I can see is that in your first message you wrote about you and your younger brother. but that is not telling me you were male but as I read through then I can see now that you are female,
So I do appoligize.
But will say that you are an exceptional young woman.

My sister is holding her own, she has her bad days and good days same as me and our children are doing great. thanks
LOL thoughts and hugs
Veronica

TheTwistedOne, I am sorry it was his heart, this was what I wrote in my first ever post:

My dad had to have his gall bladder removed due to gall stones. The surgery was cancelled by the anesthesia doctor because no stress test was given for his heart, well they found that he had 80 to 90% blockage in the main artery but could not due surgery because of the fluid that had suddenly built up in his belly, so they drained it and had to find out what caused it so they eventually did a biopsy on his liver.

They diagnosed him with liver cancer and after doing a ct scan, said there was nothing that could be done for this type of cancer, said he had a 7 cm tumor on the inside of his liver, that it had not spread it was only in the liver and gave him six months to live and told him chemo could maybe prolong his life a few months, but that would be it.

Diva

Hey Diva 10!

Dont worry about its kool! Rather funny in fact!

Im pleased things arent going too bad for you all at the moment!

Take care and i will catch up with you soon

Xxx

hey

My mom is diagnosed with Liver cancer as well.. she has a big tumour as well.. she had a life expectancy of 1-2 year tops.. it's been a year now, and she has gone through chemo as well as a experimental drug... It's called gene therapy... and she has done the best that anyone has done on it.. out of 100 people.. so that's good news.. she is still very healthy, minus the tumour and being stick thin...

she is now going on another experimental drug... dont konw what it is called tho...

it sucks tho that it is not treatable... the best you can do is spend much time and make things as happy as possible... sorry to hear about it....

Campy, your right, it suks,
good luck to you and your mom
Diva10