I had plenty of time while in the hospital so i thought i would share something I wrote:


My Infertility

It never occurred to me that I wouldn’t be the one
Always took things for granted, I couldn’t be one
Positive and happy as I made my plans in life
Smiling when he asked me to become his wife
Celebrating where my life was heading
All my energy focused on my wedding
Then saving and planning to buy that home
Planning more than one child, so one wouldn’t be alone
Skimping and saving to make these dreams come true
Doing, of course what all young couples do
Purchasing a home, for my would-be family one day
Vacations and purchases were held at bay
Planning our first child with stars in our eyes
Hoping the Lord would hear our cries
Never thinking that it would be so tough
Who knew then, that it would be so rough
Years have drifted by so fast, where did they go
Still, no little one; heart filled with woe
Praying, believing our day would come
Doing everything that needed to be done
Soon tests and procedures became our life
Chiseling at my persistence with a steely knife
Specialists and appointments became a daily intrusion
Loosing our nearness with the intrusions
Yet we continue on, determined to conceive
I will be a mother one day, I do believe
Probing exams and needles, I shall endure
Emotions a mess, who am I? Are you sure?
I seemed to have lost myself along the way
But these feelings of inadequacy are held at bay
Wiping my tears, I have the doctors today
Weeks of waiting, sadness as time passes some more
Will I find the way, please show me the door
My resistance is beginning to wear thin
God! I can’t even remember, when did we begin?
My dreams of a family fade with each rising sun
Whatever happened to the days we had some fun?
Tears and confusion when each cycle ends
Renewing of hope, when we start the journey again
If I am to conceive, I really wish I knew when
How much more can we continue this fight
Can’t stop feeling: This just CAN’T be right
So many different emotions, I can’t read them all
I’m floundering here, I’m about to fall
Emotions and stress, it’s wearing me thin
This infertility, it’s beginning to win
To give up, seems like a sin
I don’t know how to give up my dreams
I don’t know what my life will mean
Starting to think that it will never happen for me
God, please show me the light, for I can no longer see
Exactly what it was to live… live, just for me
*DSAK*

That was really great. It made me cry sitting here at work...matched so many of my feelings regarding this horrific journey. Thanks for sharing!

wow that was wonderful you should start a short novel? really that was good!!

Thank you ladies!!!

M- It would be easy for me to say don't cry...but I do; I think we all do. I'm glad you found it so touching.

L- Hey I'm a girl of many talents :D 'sdies i have had so much bed time I needed to do something to keep me busy :) I really didn't think it was that good, but I'm glad that others can relate! I hope that everything is going well for you!!

Doreen

Doreen-
Wow. Everyone has said it prior to my post - but your post gave me the chills and my eyes filled with tears. It's so hard to go through all of this... Its hard to imagine that supposedily this happens for a reason. THANKS so much for sharing!!!
Hugs & smiles - Jen :angel:

Thank you Jen..It really means a lot :) BUT I don't want everyone crying :D

It was very nice writing. I don't suffer infertility that I know of but this writting, this expression of pain also reflects to the pain most of us share for different reasons. As we grow older we discover that things will not happen as we planned and that the dream of getting married having kids and live happily ever after many times can be obscured with the hardships of life. I never thought I was going to have such a hard time finding a husband, my bf never thought his wife was going to die at such a young age, my mother never expected to see my brother die at such a young age. Pain is inevitable in life but it is okay to have pain. Pain makes us to be good people and if it were not pain in this world we wouldn't remember our Lord that love us. Fortunatetly God loves to comfort and guide us when we are in pain. He can take our pain away. I pray for all.

Oh Doreen.....
What an amazing talent you have. Reading this made my heart ache. Every point you made is so true..you should get that published! I would love to print that off if I could?
Again...that was a wonderful poem.
S.

yeah D i must say...that really touched my heart also....its kind of scary thinking that someone out there is going though the exact things that i am also going though...and not just someone....a LOT of people are going though the same things you and i are...and its nice we can be there for eachother...thanks for the wonderful poem... meeeeeeeee :)

Of course you can print it!! :)


I'm so glad that everyone likes and can relate to how I am feeling. I wish none of us had to feel like this, but we do...

Here's to hoping for BFP's for us!!!!!

D