Sillygrl
12-01-2004, 09:10 PM
Ok I am a little concerned. I occasionally have intrusive thoughts and I was wondering if any of you know if people who have intrusive thoughts actually act on them. That would be terrible if this was so, please tell me that people dont!
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Sillygrl
12-01-2004, 11:04 PM
Does anyone know?
ontheway
12-01-2004, 11:06 PM
Ok I am a little concerned. I occasionally have intrusive thoughts and I was wondering if any of you know if people who have intrusive thoughts actually act on them. That would be terrible if this was so, please tell me that people dont!
Hi there, Almost all of us OCders have intrusive thoughts, thats all they are is thoughts and people don't really act on them. they feel they will because thats the OCD trying to make you think that you are going to. but You arnt the thought and urge will past..in the meantime remember its OCD thought and its not your thought, and I know you would noty act out on it, you know it too, your mind is just messing with you at the moment.
I was in the hospital and I got this from there, and I'd like to share with you..if I can remember it all... ( I just looked for the paper and can't find it ) It says a thought is only a thought, I am not my thoughts they come and go , If I happen to find it I will type it on here for you to read.. Its true.
You are NOT your thoughts, thoughts are thoughts, they cant make u act on something...I know its hard to hear the heart when the mind is loud.. but you know in your heart you won't ever act on anything horrible such as those thoughts in your mind that are produced by OCD... please hang in there..God bless u always (( hugs ))
Ur friend
:cool: :wave:
Hi there, Almost all of us OCders have intrusive thoughts, thats all they are is thoughts and people don't really act on them. they feel they will because thats the OCD trying to make you think that you are going to. but You arnt the thought and urge will past..in the meantime remember its OCD thought and its not your thought, and I know you would noty act out on it, you know it too, your mind is just messing with you at the moment.
I was in the hospital and I got this from there, and I'd like to share with you..if I can remember it all... ( I just looked for the paper and can't find it ) It says a thought is only a thought, I am not my thoughts they come and go , If I happen to find it I will type it on here for you to read.. Its true.
You are NOT your thoughts, thoughts are thoughts, they cant make u act on something...I know its hard to hear the heart when the mind is loud.. but you know in your heart you won't ever act on anything horrible such as those thoughts in your mind that are produced by OCD... please hang in there..God bless u always (( hugs ))
Ur friend
:cool: :wave:
Sillygrl
12-02-2004, 12:49 AM
Wow, thank you so much for your response. It actually made me almost cry. I know that in my heart I would never want to do anything I sometimes cant help but think about. I occasionally have intrusive thoughts about harming people, like family or friends, usually its a worry or obsession that I will. For some reason I am having a really hard time. Before I could handle them pretty well, I would think "ok that was just a thought" and I would go on and forget about it. I would also rarely have them. Like just today it has been a problem. Could it maybe have to do with the fact that I have been pretty stressed with school and work related issues and this is kinda weird, but do any women on here notice they have a harder time when on their menstrual cycle?
Sillygrl
12-02-2004, 12:55 AM
Oh and God bless you ontheway!
leonna
12-02-2004, 08:59 AM
Hi there, Almost all of us OCders have intrusive thoughts, thats all they are is thoughts and people don't really act on them. they feel they will because thats the OCD trying to make you think that you are going to. but You arnt the thought and urge will past..in the meantime remember its OCD thought and its not your thought, and I know you would noty act out on it, you know it too, your mind is just messing with you at the moment.
I was in the hospital and I got this from there, and I'd like to share with you..if I can remember it all... ( I just looked for the paper and can't find it ) It says a thought is only a thought, I am not my thoughts they come and go , If I happen to find it I will type it on here for you to read.. Its true.
You are NOT your thoughts, thoughts are thoughts, they cant make u act on something...I know its hard to hear the heart when the mind is loud.. but you know in your heart you won't ever act on anything horrible such as those thoughts in your mind that are produced by OCD... please hang in there..God bless u always (( hugs ))
Ur friend
:cool: :wave:
That was real nice...I have intrusive thought's 2..and i know i would never act on them...but,it's hard to see that. it's like everyday,your mind HAS to worry about something,no matter what it is,if its a big thing or the sillyist thing,your mind has to worry!...i really hope one day i can get some tablets or something which will make this go away..
but yea,im babbling lol.
:)
I was in the hospital and I got this from there, and I'd like to share with you..if I can remember it all... ( I just looked for the paper and can't find it ) It says a thought is only a thought, I am not my thoughts they come and go , If I happen to find it I will type it on here for you to read.. Its true.
You are NOT your thoughts, thoughts are thoughts, they cant make u act on something...I know its hard to hear the heart when the mind is loud.. but you know in your heart you won't ever act on anything horrible such as those thoughts in your mind that are produced by OCD... please hang in there..God bless u always (( hugs ))
Ur friend
:cool: :wave:
That was real nice...I have intrusive thought's 2..and i know i would never act on them...but,it's hard to see that. it's like everyday,your mind HAS to worry about something,no matter what it is,if its a big thing or the sillyist thing,your mind has to worry!...i really hope one day i can get some tablets or something which will make this go away..
but yea,im babbling lol.
:)
Sillygrl
12-04-2004, 07:11 AM
I really know how you feel. For awhile the intrusive thoughts were pretty minimal and if there, I was handling them pretty well. Then all this stress happened to me and I was worrying about that and I had like like no intrusive thougts. Then I get a handle on my stress and now the intrusive thoughts are back and it seems I am back to square one. I never get a break. I am really worried all the time and really no one knows about this, and I fear that if they ever did they would not want to know me. I am really starting to feel like an outsider. I felt like this maybe a year ago and since then I have felt better, but lately I feel pretty darn bad.
I know that I wouldnt ever act on the intrusive thoughts, but part of the obsession and constant worry is that maybe you will. I cant take it sometimes. I know that I am a good person and I dont ever want to think these thougts ever again if I could help it. I know that I am decent, but this really makes me feel like a freak and less of a person.
I know that I wouldnt ever act on the intrusive thoughts, but part of the obsession and constant worry is that maybe you will. I cant take it sometimes. I know that I am a good person and I dont ever want to think these thougts ever again if I could help it. I know that I am decent, but this really makes me feel like a freak and less of a person.
Montgumski
12-04-2004, 08:02 AM
Your never going to get rid of the cyclic thinking because of the way your brain works. This is an anxiety condition.You can however control it to some degree.
I think the key with anxiety is controlling how you are going to react to certain things that have the ability to really bother you. We, as worriers ,tend to overreact to things and we need to relearn and recondition ourselves to react appropriately so we do not get bent of shape. I spend a lot of my time telling myself, "let it go", "why worry about something I can't control", " thats the way it is", or " I am strong, I know I can." And I don't just say it I BELIEVE it.
When there are things that hit us hard and we feel like thoughts are taking over, the best thing to do is to actually relax our body. Yes, thats right, because a troubled mind cannot exist in a relaxed body. If your breathing is shallow you are under stress.
So what I do is I use positive self talk to eliminate when worries surface and set aside time to relax and mellow out. Remember when you were younger and you were alone in your bed and you felt that free state and you almost felt like you could stare at the ceiling for hours. It's actually possible to put yourself back into that state at will by calming your mind.
Know thyself! ....and good luck
I think the key with anxiety is controlling how you are going to react to certain things that have the ability to really bother you. We, as worriers ,tend to overreact to things and we need to relearn and recondition ourselves to react appropriately so we do not get bent of shape. I spend a lot of my time telling myself, "let it go", "why worry about something I can't control", " thats the way it is", or " I am strong, I know I can." And I don't just say it I BELIEVE it.
When there are things that hit us hard and we feel like thoughts are taking over, the best thing to do is to actually relax our body. Yes, thats right, because a troubled mind cannot exist in a relaxed body. If your breathing is shallow you are under stress.
So what I do is I use positive self talk to eliminate when worries surface and set aside time to relax and mellow out. Remember when you were younger and you were alone in your bed and you felt that free state and you almost felt like you could stare at the ceiling for hours. It's actually possible to put yourself back into that state at will by calming your mind.
Know thyself! ....and good luck
artsykid
12-04-2004, 02:50 PM
I just wanted to say that, yes my OCD gets way worse around my period and ecpecially lately. It sucks so bad. HAs anyone tried wellbutrin becuase I was just put on it. I will pray for you all - we can beat this thing...i know we can.
ontheway
12-04-2004, 05:08 PM
Wow, thank you so much for your response. It actually made me almost cry. I know that in my heart I would never want to do anything I sometimes cant help but think about. I occasionally have intrusive thoughts about harming people, like family or friends, usually its a worry or obsession that I will. For some reason I am having a really hard time. Before I could handle them pretty well, I would think "ok that was just a thought" and I would go on and forget about it. I would also rarely have them. Like just today it has been a problem. Could it maybe have to do with the fact that I have been pretty stressed with school and work related issues and this is kinda weird, but do any women on here notice they have a harder time when on their menstrual cycle?
Hey you
How are you doing today ? You doing ok for today ? I know you would not do anything like that because for the simple fact is you have OCD and I know these thought sur getting are from OCD ONLY not from you and OCD will try to make you doubt yourself and make you think its you but Its not that, just remember when things get confusing that you have OCD and this is produced from OCD, read about OCD in your moments of suffering thru the thoughts that usual helps bring me back to the understanding of its OCD.. I'm glad you really liked the saying i posted I would like to find the paper with it on it I will find it and I will post it here all of it.. but I'll remind you again what it says
A thought is only a thought, I'm not my thoughts they come in go... hang in there even when its so hard your going to get thru this OCD just keep working on it also remember nothing is impossible with GOD, have faith (( hugs ))
Ur friend, who understands, God bless you thru your suffering
:wave:
Hey you
How are you doing today ? You doing ok for today ? I know you would not do anything like that because for the simple fact is you have OCD and I know these thought sur getting are from OCD ONLY not from you and OCD will try to make you doubt yourself and make you think its you but Its not that, just remember when things get confusing that you have OCD and this is produced from OCD, read about OCD in your moments of suffering thru the thoughts that usual helps bring me back to the understanding of its OCD.. I'm glad you really liked the saying i posted I would like to find the paper with it on it I will find it and I will post it here all of it.. but I'll remind you again what it says
A thought is only a thought, I'm not my thoughts they come in go... hang in there even when its so hard your going to get thru this OCD just keep working on it also remember nothing is impossible with GOD, have faith (( hugs ))
Ur friend, who understands, God bless you thru your suffering
:wave:
ontheway
12-04-2004, 05:11 PM
That was real nice...I have intrusive thought's 2..and i know i would never act on them...but,it's hard to see that. it's like everyday,your mind HAS to worry about something,no matter what it is,if its a big thing or the sillyist thing,your mind has to worry!...i really hope one day i can get some tablets or something which will make this go away..
but yea,im babbling lol.
:)
Hey there, I'm glad that you liked it, just remember its very true, Its not your thoughts even if OCD makes u doubt that because this is called the doubting diease.. as I have told sillyGirl when your suffering thru the thought come online and read about the OCD and it will bring back to the understanding of its OCD and not you... I know you wont act on them in your heart you know it too its just hard to feel whats in the heart when the mind is making you feel all kinds of things, you are not your thoughts and they do come and go and when they repeat just know its OCD and have faith that your going to be ok and beat this illness because nothing is impossible with God.. please hang in there for yourself, us, (( hugs )) God bless u thru your suffering, let me know how u are doing also
Ur friend
:wave:
but yea,im babbling lol.
:)
Hey there, I'm glad that you liked it, just remember its very true, Its not your thoughts even if OCD makes u doubt that because this is called the doubting diease.. as I have told sillyGirl when your suffering thru the thought come online and read about the OCD and it will bring back to the understanding of its OCD and not you... I know you wont act on them in your heart you know it too its just hard to feel whats in the heart when the mind is making you feel all kinds of things, you are not your thoughts and they do come and go and when they repeat just know its OCD and have faith that your going to be ok and beat this illness because nothing is impossible with God.. please hang in there for yourself, us, (( hugs )) God bless u thru your suffering, let me know how u are doing also
Ur friend
:wave:
Sillygrl
12-04-2004, 06:05 PM
I really appreciate all your posts, they help tons! I just dont understand why I am worse right now. I am thinking (tell me what you all think) that after a period of immense stress, and the stress is going away with the mind left to not worry, you have to worry about something. So, bc of the stress before I had few intrusive thoughts and then when there is minimal stress they come back to take over the stress in my brain. I am so sick of thinking thoughts about people I care about. It makes me sick sometimes. I am ok today I had a lot of fun last night with my friends and when I have fun it is pretty easy to relax. Well, hope you all are ok!
Kathrin74
12-04-2004, 09:36 PM
Hi there :wave:
Have you read my post "about unwanted thoughts"? It is on the second page now, has been a while since I posted it. It might help you.
I don't know if I agree with the person who said we can never get rid of that kind of thinking. Well, maybe not completely, but I think we can re-train our brain... to use different neural pathways etc. That's what cognitive-behavioral therapy does.
Well I guess it depends on what you call "get rid of it". We might always have the tendency toward that kind of thinking... but then, even non-ocders have intrusive thoughts, and might even worry about them sometimes shortly - there's a fine line where it crosses over into OCD I guess, right? On the other hand, it is so easy to tell, usually, if something actually feels like an OCD thought...
I remember reading somewhere that OCDers don't act on their intrusive thoughts. Which makes sense to me.
Kathrin
Have you read my post "about unwanted thoughts"? It is on the second page now, has been a while since I posted it. It might help you.
I don't know if I agree with the person who said we can never get rid of that kind of thinking. Well, maybe not completely, but I think we can re-train our brain... to use different neural pathways etc. That's what cognitive-behavioral therapy does.
Well I guess it depends on what you call "get rid of it". We might always have the tendency toward that kind of thinking... but then, even non-ocders have intrusive thoughts, and might even worry about them sometimes shortly - there's a fine line where it crosses over into OCD I guess, right? On the other hand, it is so easy to tell, usually, if something actually feels like an OCD thought...
I remember reading somewhere that OCDers don't act on their intrusive thoughts. Which makes sense to me.
Kathrin
Sillygrl
12-05-2004, 04:29 PM
Hi guys, does anyone else know anything about people acting on their intusive thoughts? That would be so horrible if that was the case. Also, I am curious if the intrusive thoughts and constant worry can also be an anxiety issue?
Kathrin74
12-06-2004, 03:12 PM
Hello again,
I think I didn't say this strong enough, I just read over what I wrote about acting on intrusive thoughts. Actually not just once, but in pretty much everything I read on the subject, it says that OCDers never act on their intrusive thoughts.
Here's an example of what I found online:
"In OCD, obsession refers to the thought patterns. These thoughts are intrusive, unwanted thoughts which are violent (Censored Stephen King book violent), fearful, sexual, or a combination in form, which occure over and over in the persons mind. They most often represent the things the person would be the last to do. For example someone with OCD may think of putting their child in the oven. Again, I stress that people with OCD are least likely to act on these thoughts. They are not impulses"
Kathrin
I think I didn't say this strong enough, I just read over what I wrote about acting on intrusive thoughts. Actually not just once, but in pretty much everything I read on the subject, it says that OCDers never act on their intrusive thoughts.
Here's an example of what I found online:
"In OCD, obsession refers to the thought patterns. These thoughts are intrusive, unwanted thoughts which are violent (Censored Stephen King book violent), fearful, sexual, or a combination in form, which occure over and over in the persons mind. They most often represent the things the person would be the last to do. For example someone with OCD may think of putting their child in the oven. Again, I stress that people with OCD are least likely to act on these thoughts. They are not impulses"
Kathrin
Sillygrl
12-06-2004, 11:30 PM
Kathrin, thank you for that post. I know that I am not that kind of person that would hurt people, but the OCD seems to make me feel like I am. Does that happen to other people? Does it make you doubt yourself and make you feel for a second that you are capable of doing bad things? I am just so sick of all of this. I was so good for the longest time. I look back on the past 6 months and I dont remember being this bad since like my ex ex and then that just reminds me more of bad times! I was so good before and now I am fearing the future. I am sick of my mind. I would give anything to be a happy, healthy and normal 21 year old. I would be the happiest person if I never had a bad thought again. I feel this is not fair sometimes. I love life and there are so many things I want to accompish, and it feels that this is holding me back from having the best life I can! Do others feel this way?
Kathrin74
12-07-2004, 12:33 AM
Somehow the OCD thoughts tend to get "perpetuated" the more we are afraid of and saddened by them. That's how wicked the "OCD monster" is - it knows we desperately want to get rid of the thoughts, and the more we try and wish them away, the more intrusive they become. Sometimes I feel like if we could just simply LET GO (get and I-don't-care attitude), and they will automatically fade away.
The worst memories of my OCD are of being afraid I will never be "normal and happy", will never feel free again, that I am qasting my life somehow... and maybe exactly those thoughts made it easier for the OCD to stick around - kind of like when you try very hard to fall asleep, and the harder you try and the more desperate you get (thinking "everybody else is sleeping, why can't I" etc), the harder it becomes to actually fall asleep. I think it is similar with OCD.
I believe this is where medication maybe really helps - making you care less.
If you tell yourself "ok I don't care if I think that", it doesn't mean you are a bad person. It's ok to even think those thoughts consciously. Just keep telling yourself it's just the OCD anyway. It really is, there is no doubt about that! The OCD makes you think there is a doubt (it has also been called the "doubting disease"), but it is just plaing tricks on you.
Kathrin
The worst memories of my OCD are of being afraid I will never be "normal and happy", will never feel free again, that I am qasting my life somehow... and maybe exactly those thoughts made it easier for the OCD to stick around - kind of like when you try very hard to fall asleep, and the harder you try and the more desperate you get (thinking "everybody else is sleeping, why can't I" etc), the harder it becomes to actually fall asleep. I think it is similar with OCD.
I believe this is where medication maybe really helps - making you care less.
If you tell yourself "ok I don't care if I think that", it doesn't mean you are a bad person. It's ok to even think those thoughts consciously. Just keep telling yourself it's just the OCD anyway. It really is, there is no doubt about that! The OCD makes you think there is a doubt (it has also been called the "doubting disease"), but it is just plaing tricks on you.
Kathrin
Sillygrl
12-07-2004, 03:04 AM
Thanks for your posts Kathrin. I really appreciate your help. I am seriously considering getting help and getting on medication. I havent even been diagnosed but it is pretty clear that I am OCD. When I was younger I did the whole excessive hand washing thing and when I was like 5 I used to look in cars all the time, my mom told me to stop or I would get in trouble. So, after that I walked with my head down and was obsessed with not looking in cars for like a year. I dont want to waste my life on this crap. I only wish I still washed my hands excessively or was just deathly afraid of aids or something, anything but this.
Sillygrl
12-08-2004, 12:19 AM
Hi, today was a bad day. I cant stop worrying and I just cant seem to be happy. I am always worrying about something the whole day long. It goes from worrying about my intrusive thoughts, money, school, job, friends, my future apartment, my car, family, and the list goes on. My mind is never free from worry and I am incessantly anxious. I would not be suprised if I have an ulcer or something. Maybe for like 10 mins will my mind be free of worrying, like if I am talking to someone or I am actually paying attention in class. Today I was really bad and I almost didnt make it to my car after class before I started crying, then on the way to my last class my jaw hurt from holding in the building tears. I actually thought of hurting myself, but in a real way, like I really wanted to. This actually does not scare me, bc if I can think about hurting myself rather than others I will be happier. I just cant take this crap anymore and I really thought of ending it today, it is just too much. I sometimes feel not worth living.
ontheway
12-08-2004, 02:54 AM
I really appreciate all your posts, they help tons! I just dont understand why I am worse right now. I am thinking (tell me what you all think) that after a period of immense stress, and the stress is going away with the mind left to not worry, you have to worry about something. So, bc of the stress before I had few intrusive thoughts and then when there is minimal stress they come back to take over the stress in my brain. I am so sick of thinking thoughts about people I care about. It makes me sick sometimes. I am ok today I had a lot of fun last night with my friends and when I have fun it is pretty easy to relax. Well, hope you all are ok!
Hey you :wave:
I'm glad that they help you.. I'm not sure why OCD seems to act up at certians times worst then others Its just how it does sometimes. It could be that stress can make it show its ugly face more.I've heard that from a few people I do believe .Its good to have distractions ( positive ones ) such as getting out and having some light , the sun, and being around other people..or people you love..keeping yourself busy..Just remember that its only OCD and it can not harm you or others, its in your mind only. that is awesome you had fun and was able to relax, what a blessing even if it was short.. you will have more, May God bless u always (( hugs ))
Ur friend
:wave: :cool:
Hey you :wave:
I'm glad that they help you.. I'm not sure why OCD seems to act up at certians times worst then others Its just how it does sometimes. It could be that stress can make it show its ugly face more.I've heard that from a few people I do believe .Its good to have distractions ( positive ones ) such as getting out and having some light , the sun, and being around other people..or people you love..keeping yourself busy..Just remember that its only OCD and it can not harm you or others, its in your mind only. that is awesome you had fun and was able to relax, what a blessing even if it was short.. you will have more, May God bless u always (( hugs ))
Ur friend
:wave: :cool:
Sillygrl
12-08-2004, 03:09 AM
Hey thanks, I am worried though, I posted another thread about the differences of a violent impulse or a violent obsession. Are they different and how can you tell the difference. I know that I dont want to hurt someone, but what if they are impulses I am having? Do you act on impulses? I am really scared. Like what if you are sitting with a friend and you get a bad thought of them and it feels like an impulse, or is that the anxiety a thought like that brings out? I am really confused. Like is it an impulse or an obsession you will think something bad so you do? Ok here is an example, you are sitting in class, and you think of pulling a girls hair in front of you, and you think "I really want to pull her hair". You know it is wrong, but you think it, so is that an impulse or an obsession to think that? Like before you were thinking I dont want to think about hurting her and then you cant help it and you think the thought. This is kind of a weird example, but it is kind of similar to what I am having a problem with. Like if you have a bad thought of a person when they are right next to you and you think "I want to do this..." is that just the obsession, or is that an impulse you can act on? I dont want to do anything bad, but that thing I read on OCD has really scared me now, like what if they are impulses?
Sillygrl
12-08-2004, 03:12 AM
Now I have this guilt for the thoughts that I have, like that is turning into an obsession as well. Like if I think bad things about a good friend I feel I dont deserve them as a friend. I am just a mess and I was doing fine before, this makes me really mad!
ontheway
12-08-2004, 03:23 AM
Now I have this guilt for the thoughts that I have, like that is turning into an obsession as well. Like if I think bad things about a good friend I feel I dont deserve them as a friend. I am just a mess and I was doing fine before, this makes me really mad!
I very much understand the angry having to deal with OCD, I often experience it too... please know that you have NOTHING to feel guilty about because you did not do anything these thoughts are ont your thoughts these
thoughts are OCD thoughts that you do not control..your not thinking these thoughts even if you feel you are, they are intrusive.. you deserve your friends.. you deserve peace, and you deserve to be happy.. SillyGirl I might not know you personally, but I know your not a bad person..you have to hang in there for yourself and have faith that ur going to get thru this because you will but you have to work on retraining your mind , I think medicine or therapy would be of great help to you.. OCD wants u to feel nothing but negative which means guilty, like your bad person, dont let it win. you are stronger in reality you just cant see that right now...(( hugs )) keep letting us know how u are doing, I'm here for ya, God bless u ALWAYS
I very much understand the angry having to deal with OCD, I often experience it too... please know that you have NOTHING to feel guilty about because you did not do anything these thoughts are ont your thoughts these
thoughts are OCD thoughts that you do not control..your not thinking these thoughts even if you feel you are, they are intrusive.. you deserve your friends.. you deserve peace, and you deserve to be happy.. SillyGirl I might not know you personally, but I know your not a bad person..you have to hang in there for yourself and have faith that ur going to get thru this because you will but you have to work on retraining your mind , I think medicine or therapy would be of great help to you.. OCD wants u to feel nothing but negative which means guilty, like your bad person, dont let it win. you are stronger in reality you just cant see that right now...(( hugs )) keep letting us know how u are doing, I'm here for ya, God bless u ALWAYS
artsykid
12-08-2004, 10:54 AM
Hey Sillygrl. I can relate to some of what you are saying. If I have a bad thought Im like...okay well if I had that thought does it mean I really want to do it? I think that is just another part of the OCD though...doubting yourself. You can recognize that your thoughts are bad and that you DONT want to act on them- so that is a sign it is OCD. Please PLEASE do not think of hurting yourself. I know it seems like a black hole that you may never get out of (I am right there with you) but you have to know that no matter WHAT God is with you. ALWAYS. You are never alone and he knows all of your thoughts and fears and he wants you to turn them over to him. I litterally had to drive myself to a Church the other night (one I had never been to or didnt know anyone) and get down on my knees and pray. The thoughts just would not stop so I had to do it. I just went to a psychaitrist yesterday and he percribed me Prozac. I am hoping and praying it will work. He told me that OCD usually always needs to be treated with medication and that it can help tremendiously. He sort of describes it as "instant Buddism (sp)" he says when the meds kick in you will just start not to care so much. Like you wont worry and will have a laid back attitude. I tried for the longest time to stop the thoughts myself but I couldnt do it alone. I had to seek out God and seek out medical help. When it gets to the point that it makes you cry and feel hopeless I think it is time to get help. Ive been struggling all my life with it and I just couldnt take it anymore. Remember...there IS hope. You WILL get through it. I have to tell myself these things all day. It is a struggle. Sometimes when I find my thoughts racing I just pray. It helps. We are all here for you and if you need to talk to me privately do not hesitate. I can give you my email- just let me know. I am majorly sturggling right now as well. God Bless and I will pray for you.
Kathrin74
12-08-2004, 06:32 PM
Hello again,
as for the difference between obsessions and impulses - I would say if you obsess about whether something is an obsession or an impulse, you can be pretty confident it is an obsession!
Please don't hurt yourself, don't try to end your life. As Artsykid said - it may feel like a black hole now, but that's really just the way it FEELS. You are not stuck there forever.
For a long long time I was so afraid and sad thinking that maybe I would never feel happy and free again, that I would never be able to enjoy just walking around or something (like you with the cars, after a while I just had to keep my head down or even my eyes closed). I really did feel stuck, and it just kept getting worse.
But the thing is, there is help. And no matter what, life is full of change, and we never know what will be, say, a year from now. Who knows, maybe a year from now you will feel... the same liberating, relieving feeling I had when I started getting better... and you haven't even tried medication yet, right? For me it was so amazing... suddenly the streets seemed cleaned of all that scary stuff and I realized I had my eyes open!!!!
But if you end your life now, that is kind of irreversible, right? Then how can you find out what will be a year from now?
(Not that I recommend it or think you will feel like it, but you could still end your life if you wanted to, but if you do it now there is no turning back, see what I mean?)
When the urge to just end it all (yes, that is a totally different urge from the OCD ones) becomes really strong, please call a suicide helpline (I think in the US there is also a number 1-800-SUICIDE that you can call, or look in your phone book), or just talk to somebody about it immediately. Even go to the ER if you feel you have to. OK? Maybe write some numbers to call down right now so you have them handy when you need them. Do you have a good friend or family member you could talk to?
And talk to somebody about the OCD - better today than tomorrow, right? You have deserved to be happier than you are now.
And you can be.
And you will be.
Kathrin
as for the difference between obsessions and impulses - I would say if you obsess about whether something is an obsession or an impulse, you can be pretty confident it is an obsession!
Please don't hurt yourself, don't try to end your life. As Artsykid said - it may feel like a black hole now, but that's really just the way it FEELS. You are not stuck there forever.
For a long long time I was so afraid and sad thinking that maybe I would never feel happy and free again, that I would never be able to enjoy just walking around or something (like you with the cars, after a while I just had to keep my head down or even my eyes closed). I really did feel stuck, and it just kept getting worse.
But the thing is, there is help. And no matter what, life is full of change, and we never know what will be, say, a year from now. Who knows, maybe a year from now you will feel... the same liberating, relieving feeling I had when I started getting better... and you haven't even tried medication yet, right? For me it was so amazing... suddenly the streets seemed cleaned of all that scary stuff and I realized I had my eyes open!!!!
But if you end your life now, that is kind of irreversible, right? Then how can you find out what will be a year from now?
(Not that I recommend it or think you will feel like it, but you could still end your life if you wanted to, but if you do it now there is no turning back, see what I mean?)
When the urge to just end it all (yes, that is a totally different urge from the OCD ones) becomes really strong, please call a suicide helpline (I think in the US there is also a number 1-800-SUICIDE that you can call, or look in your phone book), or just talk to somebody about it immediately. Even go to the ER if you feel you have to. OK? Maybe write some numbers to call down right now so you have them handy when you need them. Do you have a good friend or family member you could talk to?
And talk to somebody about the OCD - better today than tomorrow, right? You have deserved to be happier than you are now.
And you can be.
And you will be.
Kathrin
Sillygrl
12-08-2004, 08:32 PM
Thank you for all of your replies, I actually look forward to coming on this board and reading them. Do any of you have intrusive thoughts that go like, "I want to do this..." even when you dont? Like this happens when you are sitting next to the person. Here is more on my problem. Ok I am moving out on January 7 with a new friend of mine. When my ocd starting getting worse I started this new obsession like, "what if I have intusive thoughts about her and living together is hell because of this"? Now, I kinda feel weird around her because I am afraid I will have thoughts about her and I have as well. This is really getting me down, because she is a great new friend and never has my ocd effected my life this bad. Do you think this is horrible of me? I now feel this guilt, that I feel I may never live down or forget. This is all just ridiculous and I am getting sick of it. I now feel inadequate or undeserving of having friends or boyfriends and family for that matter because I have thoughts of them, that I dont want to have.
Kathrin74
12-08-2004, 09:50 PM
(((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))
You NEVER have to feel guilty about those OCD thoughts. You don't think them on purpose. Think of it as an illness, like somebody else might suffer from diabetes - now should that person feel guilty when her blood sugar gets out of control?
I know it's easier said than done, but trying to NOT feel guilty and not CARE about the thoughts will actually make them go away.
Worrying about them will make them stay.
Even if they don't go away right away... just let them happen. A priest at church told me that one time, when I talked to him about feeling guilty about thinking certain things. He said: Thoughts are just thoughts, they just happen, and we can let them pass by like a parade.
Now if a priest said this!!! :-)
Kathrin
You NEVER have to feel guilty about those OCD thoughts. You don't think them on purpose. Think of it as an illness, like somebody else might suffer from diabetes - now should that person feel guilty when her blood sugar gets out of control?
I know it's easier said than done, but trying to NOT feel guilty and not CARE about the thoughts will actually make them go away.
Worrying about them will make them stay.
Even if they don't go away right away... just let them happen. A priest at church told me that one time, when I talked to him about feeling guilty about thinking certain things. He said: Thoughts are just thoughts, they just happen, and we can let them pass by like a parade.
Now if a priest said this!!! :-)
Kathrin
ontheway
12-08-2004, 10:35 PM
(((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))
You NEVER have to feel guilty about those OCD thoughts. You don't think them on purpose. Think of it as an illness, like somebody else might suffer from diabetes - now should that person feel guilty when her blood sugar gets out of control?
I know it's easier said than done, but trying to NOT feel guilty and not CARE about the thoughts will actually make them go away.
Worrying about them will make them stay.
Even if they don't go away right away... just let them happen. A priest at church told me that one time, when I talked to him about feeling guilty about thinking certain things. He said: Thoughts are just thoughts, they just happen, and we can let them pass by like a parade.
Now if a priest said this!!! :-)
Kathrin
Thank you for sharing what the priest said, that makes me feel better (( hugs ))
You NEVER have to feel guilty about those OCD thoughts. You don't think them on purpose. Think of it as an illness, like somebody else might suffer from diabetes - now should that person feel guilty when her blood sugar gets out of control?
I know it's easier said than done, but trying to NOT feel guilty and not CARE about the thoughts will actually make them go away.
Worrying about them will make them stay.
Even if they don't go away right away... just let them happen. A priest at church told me that one time, when I talked to him about feeling guilty about thinking certain things. He said: Thoughts are just thoughts, they just happen, and we can let them pass by like a parade.
Now if a priest said this!!! :-)
Kathrin
Thank you for sharing what the priest said, that makes me feel better (( hugs ))
Sillygrl
12-09-2004, 12:00 AM
I cant believe how much this board and all of you help. I feel guilt and the "need to tell" all the time, but when you said that it is not my fault it makes me realize that I really dont need to feel guilty. I sometimes wonder what people would think if they knew what goes through my head.
Sillygrl
12-10-2004, 01:28 AM
Hi, guys! Well, it seems I am kinda getting better. I just keep telling myself this is all ridiculous and I am trying really hard to just stop the thought and think I dont care, it is just a thought. Another hard part in dealing with this though is the guilt and the "need to tell". I just told this one guy that I talk to on the internet and he was not freaked or so I could tell and he just said that I am a cool girl and I need to stop worrying about it. Also, when I said that I feel I dont deserve friends because I may think thoughts of them, he said no way, I deserve friends. This is really hard to believe now, however. Because what if they knew some of my thoughts? I also sometimes feel that they deserve to know, since they may be about them. I have always my whole life felt the need to tell anything. I at times can be too honest. This one situation occured awhile ago with my ex and I felt this huge urge to tell him what I did, because we may be getting back together and I felt it crucial to tell him. My mom and my friends said not to tell him, it would do no good, well I did. I just cant let go of anything or stop thinking about anything. Whenever I get happy I automatically think about how I have thought disturbing thoughts and I shouldnt be happy with myself. I have so much guilt and I dont know what to do with it. I just feel I dont deserve a boyfriend or friends sometimes.
JimD123
12-10-2004, 11:12 AM
These thoughts are now effecting my ideas on my life before like, I wish I could just go back to the way I felt before. I have only been battling this for two weeks , but its been honestly the longest two weeks of my life. Someone PLease Help!!
Sillygrl
12-11-2004, 12:30 AM
Ok, I think that I have another problem that affects the ocd greatly. It seems that frequently I am anxious and uncomfortable around some people. Especially people I feel are more attractive or skinny than me. I feel really weird and less of a person. I am also uncomfortable around my grandma for some reason. She is kinda hard to talk to, she has alzheimers and I think I am afraid of it or something. Also, it seems I am always in a rush and I cant slow down. Like if I am on my way out the door and someone talks me I get really impatient and sometimes rude. I just can never calm down. I am suprised I dont have high blood pressure or an ulcer. Sometimes during the situations that I feel uncomfortable is when I have intrusive thoughts, but I also have them when I am perfectly happy and they just pop up. Like part of the obsession is being uncomfortable and then worrying I will do something to hurt them? Is this like horrible? Would this anxiety ever make me snap and something horrible will happen? I dont want this! I want so bad to be able to relax in any situation with anyone. Sometimes I feel like criminal and I just feel so guilty and I doubt myself all day!
Sillygrl
12-11-2004, 06:23 PM
Ok I need some help or advice! I am really driving myself crazy and I just dont understand how I got this bad! Ok I lived in an apt with 2 of my friends for about 6 months until our lease was up and I had to go back home and I really didnt want to, I had the time of my life at my apt and with my two friends. Since August I have been looking for a place to live and a roommate. Well, I met my new friend say Betty this semester and we really hit it off, well we decided we would get an apt together I was extatic until I got in my head the what if's, such as what if I get intrusive thoughts of her and it is horrible living there! What if I actually carry them out? I know that I am not that type of person, but this is really bugging me! It seems I get these thoughts about things I really want or about people I love the most! Now I am afraid to move in with her. I want this really bad and I know that it will be a blast but why does my mind have to ruin everything! I feel that I shouldnt move in with her and everything! I am sick of being afraid to live and do the things I want the most! What do you all think?
Sillygrl
12-12-2004, 03:28 PM
Does anyone have any ideas?
artsykid
12-12-2004, 03:48 PM
Hey sweety, I am so so so sorry you are feeling this way. I know what it feels like to be a slave to your thoughts. I have been taking Prozac for almost a week now and I am allready seeing a little bit of relief. OCD is just a chemical imbalance, I would say if it is affecting you this much to go see a Dr. as soon as you can.....the sooner you start, the sooner you start feeling better. You are a good person. Ill be praying for you and I really really suggest you see a Dr. because I dont like seeing anyone suffer from this because I know how it can feel.
Kathrin74
12-12-2004, 05:53 PM
Hey girl,
don't let the intrusive thoughts ruin things for you. Now repeat after me:
I AM A GOOD PERSON.
I HAVE DESERVED TO BE HAPPY.
I HAVE DESERVED TO HAVE FRIENDS.
THOSE INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS ARE JUST OCD, CAUSED BY A CHEMICAL IMBALANCE IN MY BRAIN.
I AM NOT A CRIMINAL.
I HAVE NO REASON TO FEEL I HAVEN'T DESERVED HAPPINESS.
I DON'T HAVE TO FEEL GUILTY.
I CAN BEAT THIS!
In one of your posts you say you feel guilty because you think those things about your friends without them knowing about it, and shouldn't you tell them, etc?
Now let me tell you something: If I was your friend or roommate or whatever, and know you have OCD, and you told me you had those thoughts about me (violent thoughts, or whatever), I WOULD NOT BE MAD AT YOU!!
Anybody who really knows what OCD is would understand. Of course if you just went up to somebody and told them "I have been thinking violent thoughts about you" without mentioning the OCD, that would sound kind of eerie. But the thing is: It IS OCD. It is not like YOU are thinking those thoughts. They just pop up, due to the OCD.
What I am trying to say: You don't have to feel guilty about not telling them. Maybe if you are really close to somebody and you know they would understand, talking about it might actually help you. But if you think they would not udnerstand, that's ok too, and no reason for feeling guilty.
You ahve probably realized by now that the OCD is very good at twisting your thoughts around and making them make you feel guilty in some way. No matter what you come up with, the OCD may find a way to "use iot against you".
But you HAVE deserved to feel happy. That is so typical of the OCD that it pops up during happy moments and tries to steal them from you. Now matter what the OCD says, don't let it!
You have deserved happiness.
(((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))) ))))
Kathrin
don't let the intrusive thoughts ruin things for you. Now repeat after me:
I AM A GOOD PERSON.
I HAVE DESERVED TO BE HAPPY.
I HAVE DESERVED TO HAVE FRIENDS.
THOSE INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS ARE JUST OCD, CAUSED BY A CHEMICAL IMBALANCE IN MY BRAIN.
I AM NOT A CRIMINAL.
I HAVE NO REASON TO FEEL I HAVEN'T DESERVED HAPPINESS.
I DON'T HAVE TO FEEL GUILTY.
I CAN BEAT THIS!
In one of your posts you say you feel guilty because you think those things about your friends without them knowing about it, and shouldn't you tell them, etc?
Now let me tell you something: If I was your friend or roommate or whatever, and know you have OCD, and you told me you had those thoughts about me (violent thoughts, or whatever), I WOULD NOT BE MAD AT YOU!!
Anybody who really knows what OCD is would understand. Of course if you just went up to somebody and told them "I have been thinking violent thoughts about you" without mentioning the OCD, that would sound kind of eerie. But the thing is: It IS OCD. It is not like YOU are thinking those thoughts. They just pop up, due to the OCD.
What I am trying to say: You don't have to feel guilty about not telling them. Maybe if you are really close to somebody and you know they would understand, talking about it might actually help you. But if you think they would not udnerstand, that's ok too, and no reason for feeling guilty.
You ahve probably realized by now that the OCD is very good at twisting your thoughts around and making them make you feel guilty in some way. No matter what you come up with, the OCD may find a way to "use iot against you".
But you HAVE deserved to feel happy. That is so typical of the OCD that it pops up during happy moments and tries to steal them from you. Now matter what the OCD says, don't let it!
You have deserved happiness.
(((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))) ))))
Kathrin
Sillygrl
12-13-2004, 05:27 PM
Hi, thank you very much I appreciate all that you say! It helps me most times, but right now I am having a really hard time! How do you know that it is the intrusive thoughts and that it is not you? How do you know? I am so scared to move into the apt with my friend for fear that I will have these thoughts and worse what if I carry them out? I am so scared and really really mad! Getting another apt with a friend is something I really really wanted and look what this has done to me now? I am so mad at myself, how do I know that it is not me? What if I really am a horrible person and I snap someday? All I can do is pray this will never happen.
Sillygrl
12-13-2004, 05:32 PM
Ok I didnt quite finish, bc I accidentally pushed the post button. I am just really mad and all I want to be is normal. I am really stressed and unhappy right now, so everything is worse right now. I am not going to get the job that I wanted so bad (it is perfect for school and really laid back and not stressful) so I guess I will just go insane working at a daycare that mentally drains me each day. I hate my job! I am also really unhappy that my ex (which we act together) is going back home for Christmas, I am soooo sad that he will be gone. I feel like I am falling apart. Whenever I get really sad and he notices and asks what is wrong I cant tell him the full story for fear of him freaking out maybe at what intrusive thougts I may have, I am a mess someone please help me!
Charmbracelet81
12-14-2004, 01:48 PM
Hello I also suffer the same thing as you but I haven't since giving birth to my first child this past july 4th :) I thought that I had post partum depression and maybe I do but I never thought to think about OCD. If I had to diagnose myself I would say that I am OC. My thing is that I NEED everything to be neat and tidy ALL the time and of course that can;t happen. I get in a bad mood and hot and just all around grumpy until the house is how I want it. I am even wose when my step kids come over for the weekend and I am in a bad mood even before they get here because I already know that I house I have kept up for the week is going to soon have toys all over it and spills and laundry. I guess that all that said, I have an obsessive disorder and I have the same thoughts that you do and it's not the the fear of the thought so much it's the fear of acting on it. It scares me soooo much although at the same token I know that I would never do anything like that and I watch people like Scott Peterson on TV and say even though I have these intrusive thoughts I do not and would never want to turn out like him. What are you obsessed over? I wonder if it is our obsessions or if we are dpressed or if they go hand in hand. Like how I was talking about the Post Partum thing. Well all I can say is that I have been searching this whole place for someone like me and I looked under panic depression and anxiety and never thought it would be under Obsessivness. Can anyone tell Silly girl and I if this has to do with obsession or depression or both. Hope you hang in there. Write back and anytime you are having weird thoughts just right at that moment find something else to do. I don't know your religion but I have a book that is called "Prayers that Avail Much" and it has prayers for eveything: depression, mental health marriage you name it there is a prayer in there for you. Hope I helped and you helped me feel better that I am not the only one in the world with this dumb thing. :wave:
Kathrin74
12-14-2004, 02:32 PM
One thing I have found is that often the worries are worst when I have to make a decision. Like in your case: Should you move into the apartment or not? And of course the OCD always tries to come up with arguments for that decision that you would NOT make otherwise. Because it wants to make you unhappy.
I have found though that once the decision is made (e.g. once you have moved in) the OCD kind of "gives up" on that one and looks for something new. Don't you think that might happen once you moved in? Imagine yourself there, with the decision made, no turning back. Won't you feel relieved?
Kathrin
I have found though that once the decision is made (e.g. once you have moved in) the OCD kind of "gives up" on that one and looks for something new. Don't you think that might happen once you moved in? Imagine yourself there, with the decision made, no turning back. Won't you feel relieved?
Kathrin
Sillygrl
12-14-2004, 10:00 PM
Hi, I am glad charmbracelet that you have found someone else that is like you, me...lol. It makes me feel better that I am not alone as well. You will find the more you read these boards (and all my replies from different people) that you and I are most certainly not alone either, many people are afflicted with the same thing. In answer to Kathrin, yes I feel that it is worse when I need to make a decision, because I worry about everything before something is about to happen. I was totally happy and excited about moving in with her and suddenly all this worry invaded me. I think that I think about things way too much and I always think of the worst, which at most times is the impossible. When I moved into my first apt with my two friends it was so sudden, it happened the day that we went to look at them, and that left no time to worry! It was so sudden and wonderful. I really hope that my worry of intrusive thoughts will go away once moved in but, I am still fearful that it is now so deeply imbeded into my brain that it wont go away. I pray that it will. I am so mad that this has turned a wonderful, WANTED thing into a fearful thing I have to do now. I wont give up though, I am determined to not let this thing beat me. I am going to move in with her and it will be a blast just like I had hoped and knew before that it would be. I am not letting all the wonderful things in my life go to ruin because of this. What I have been doing is when a thought comes over me, I focus on my breathing and try to calm my body down, because I usually tense up. Then I say to myself that it is not me, it is my ocd. Then with that thought I rationalize that I did not intentionally think that, it was not wanted therefore it is not important. This I feel is starting to help me already. I am starting to feel better, it just takes effort and sometimes I slip. There are moments in the day when I look around and feel like an alien because others dont have to go through this. I am then jealous that other people are happy right now and I am not. I also know that if I didnt have this obsession and worry envelope me all the time I could be so strong with dealing with "normal" stresses of day to day life. Well, I have to go now, please if anyone has any other suggestions they are greatly appreciated!
Kathrin74
12-14-2004, 11:17 PM
Hey, wow, that was a wonderful post! Hang on to those feelings. Read what you just wrote over when you start to have doubts again.
:-) Kathrin
:-) Kathrin
Sillygrl
12-15-2004, 03:03 AM
Hi, well yes that was a wonderful post but maybe it is getting worse now! I was with my friend tonight, the one I am moving in with and the invasive thoughts and worry came over me so bad at one point I wanted to break down and cry. I am so anxious around her now, it makes me sick. I am so worried that I will think something that I then cant concentrate on the conversation and all I can think about is the guilt and worry. This is not fair. Here is a little more about my story. When my two friends got kicked out of our apt it broke up my friendship with one of them. She was a very fun and cherished friend and it really got to me that we were no longer friends. All I really had was my bf at the time, one friend (who is a girl) and another friend (who is a guy). I felt so alone especially after my bf and I broke up. Then I meet this new girl in Relationship Loss group of all places and we hit it off. I needed her friendship desperately and now it seems my OCD is ruining this blessed thing I have received. I have felt so blessed that we found each other and with her we have both made a circle of new friends and I my ex and I are working things out. This is a time I should feel so happy, but I am plauged with worry, guilt and these horrible intrusive thoughts. I really feel horrible like I do not deserve her or anyone else for that matter. Maybe I need to be locked away forever! All I want is to get better but the guilt is eating me up inside.
I am seeing a counselor at my school tomorrow and I am afraid that if I tell her about the intrusive thoughts that I will get locked away!
I am seeing a counselor at my school tomorrow and I am afraid that if I tell her about the intrusive thoughts that I will get locked away!
artsykid
12-15-2004, 09:57 AM
Hey, I am glad you decided to go see a school councelor....that is what I did and how I started to get help! Do not be afraid to tell them what you are thinking. They should know what OCD is and be able to help you. Just dont be afraid to tell them exactly what your thinking---it always happens to me that I go in there and downplay how I really feel then leave wishing I had told them what is really goin on. One day I just went in there and unloaded it all and finally got help. They hooked me up with a psychaitrist who took my insurance and I am now on medication which is helping. You are taking the first step to getting better and I am SO proud of you! Just hang in there because OCD IS treatable! Keep reminding yourself of that. God Bless.
Kathrin74
12-15-2004, 04:12 PM
"Sillygirl",
as Artyskid says, be as open as possible with your school counselor. Yes they should know about OCD! You can also tell him/her that you have talked to some people online who have told you about OCD and that you thinks it's what you are suffering from.
From my own experience I know that the guilt is one of the worst parts - it threatens to destroy all the good things that are happening. I want to repeat again: You do not have to feel guilty about those thoughts. They are caused by nerves misfiring in your brain.
Try to allow yourself to have those thoughts when you're with your friend. Just tell yourself it's ok, it doesn't mean you're bad, it doesn't mean you haven't deserved her friendship.
Hey, just imagine SHE was going through this - would you be mad at her?
Good luck for your meeting with the counselor!!
Kathrin
as Artyskid says, be as open as possible with your school counselor. Yes they should know about OCD! You can also tell him/her that you have talked to some people online who have told you about OCD and that you thinks it's what you are suffering from.
From my own experience I know that the guilt is one of the worst parts - it threatens to destroy all the good things that are happening. I want to repeat again: You do not have to feel guilty about those thoughts. They are caused by nerves misfiring in your brain.
Try to allow yourself to have those thoughts when you're with your friend. Just tell yourself it's ok, it doesn't mean you're bad, it doesn't mean you haven't deserved her friendship.
Hey, just imagine SHE was going through this - would you be mad at her?
Good luck for your meeting with the counselor!!
Kathrin
macoasis
12-15-2004, 10:48 PM
Hey all im fairly new to anixiety i just started having intrusive toughts after i had a appointment with my therepist we talked about my things and then we talk about any interesting topic in that case it was law and order ( the show) and while we were talking about it i felt a panic attack coming on and my time was up so i was ok. but ever since i have been worried about becoming one of those people. i have never had this issiue before and i see theres lots of support here and no one judges you because im afraid of being judged for these scary toughts there horrible and i just wanna be myself again. i have a girlfriend ive had for 1 1/2 years and i love her very much so these taoughts are so scary. i'd like to be support for all of you here. and i'd also like some advice from people who know how to deal with it.
Thanks and i hope im welcome here :)
Thanks and i hope im welcome here :)
Sillygrl
12-16-2004, 12:04 AM
Hey welcome! You are most certainly welcome! No one judges here and that really makes me happy as well. I am also finding the more that I tell people in my life, that they are also quite understanding. It is a blessing when you can feel that people that you love know, understand and still love you.
I understand how scary it is when you have disturbing thoughts. It makes you question what kind of person you are and what you are capable of. But no fear, you are not alone and if you read all my replies you will feel assured of that!
I will tell you what started my first intrusive thought. My ex has a sister who is now 6, but when she was like 3 or 4 she would just bolt all the time. One time she almost ran onto the highway. When I finally caught her I was absolutely panicked that she was almost killed, I got really mad at her and scolded her and shook her a little because I was so mad that she couldnt behave and I thought I would have lost her. I told my mom later on and she said you should never shake a child it will hurt them. Also after she almost ran onto the highway her mom told me that she gets so mad at her she is afraid she will hurt her when she scolds her. This started this thought in my mind like, "what if I can hurt people too when I am mad or whenever?"
I know how scary it is! I really do! I also know the guilt associated with it!
Ok I went to the counselor today and she is going to help me with therapy. She specializes in anxiety disorders. Well any other support or input would be appreciated.
I understand how scary it is when you have disturbing thoughts. It makes you question what kind of person you are and what you are capable of. But no fear, you are not alone and if you read all my replies you will feel assured of that!
I will tell you what started my first intrusive thought. My ex has a sister who is now 6, but when she was like 3 or 4 she would just bolt all the time. One time she almost ran onto the highway. When I finally caught her I was absolutely panicked that she was almost killed, I got really mad at her and scolded her and shook her a little because I was so mad that she couldnt behave and I thought I would have lost her. I told my mom later on and she said you should never shake a child it will hurt them. Also after she almost ran onto the highway her mom told me that she gets so mad at her she is afraid she will hurt her when she scolds her. This started this thought in my mind like, "what if I can hurt people too when I am mad or whenever?"
I know how scary it is! I really do! I also know the guilt associated with it!
Ok I went to the counselor today and she is going to help me with therapy. She specializes in anxiety disorders. Well any other support or input would be appreciated.
Sillygrl
12-17-2004, 09:38 PM
I need some help! I almost had an anxiety attack yesterday! I am so scared because I am getting so worried about getting a thought that I make my self almost panic!
Kathrin74
12-19-2004, 04:23 PM
Hello again there,
it seems that your anxiety waxes and wanes, gets better and then worse again - which of course is not unusual. remember how you posted a very positive reply a few days ago? And then shortly after you said you were feeling really scared again. That is very typical for OCD; probably for anxiety disorders in general.
During the really scared times, try to remember the better times; it may help you realize that the fears will not last forever.
Also, don't let the anxiety attacks frighten you too much. A psychiatrist once told me that it is physically impossible that the anxiety will go on forever. It will reach a peak and then decrease again.
It may be that you feel more anxious right now because you just talked to your counselor and are starting therapy. Sometimes the anxiety gets worse when we are thinking about getting rid of it. That is only momentarily though!
Do you realize how good a job you do when you respond to other people's replies? How much insight you have, how well you understand that those thoughts don't mean you are a bad person?
If only we could always apply to ourselves what we tell others, right?
(Hey, we can!) :-)
It was very intersting to read how your first thought about being able to hurt somebody when you're angry came to be. You know, really, in a situation like that - of course it is very understandable that you responded the way you did. Especially since you didn't know that shaking a child could hurt her. That is an extreme kind of a situation though, when somebody almost got run over by a car, and it doesn't mean that you are the kind of person who would hurt somebody!!!
I hope this helps a little...
Kathrin
p.s. So great that you spoke to your counselor! Did you manage to be quite open?
it seems that your anxiety waxes and wanes, gets better and then worse again - which of course is not unusual. remember how you posted a very positive reply a few days ago? And then shortly after you said you were feeling really scared again. That is very typical for OCD; probably for anxiety disorders in general.
During the really scared times, try to remember the better times; it may help you realize that the fears will not last forever.
Also, don't let the anxiety attacks frighten you too much. A psychiatrist once told me that it is physically impossible that the anxiety will go on forever. It will reach a peak and then decrease again.
It may be that you feel more anxious right now because you just talked to your counselor and are starting therapy. Sometimes the anxiety gets worse when we are thinking about getting rid of it. That is only momentarily though!
Do you realize how good a job you do when you respond to other people's replies? How much insight you have, how well you understand that those thoughts don't mean you are a bad person?
If only we could always apply to ourselves what we tell others, right?
(Hey, we can!) :-)
It was very intersting to read how your first thought about being able to hurt somebody when you're angry came to be. You know, really, in a situation like that - of course it is very understandable that you responded the way you did. Especially since you didn't know that shaking a child could hurt her. That is an extreme kind of a situation though, when somebody almost got run over by a car, and it doesn't mean that you are the kind of person who would hurt somebody!!!
I hope this helps a little...
Kathrin
p.s. So great that you spoke to your counselor! Did you manage to be quite open?
Sillygrl
12-19-2004, 04:29 PM
Yes, I was pretty open, though I have not told her the exact thoughts, just about them being about harming people. I went to the phsychiatrist (however you spell it) and he prescribed me prozac, but I am really scared to try it. I am scared because once I start I cant really stop until he says it is ok and if I stop it may get all worse. I dont want to start because of the side effects mainly the sexual side effects, I have a very healthy sex life and I really want it to stay that way. I want to deal with this as naturally as possible. What do you all think???
Kathrin74
12-19-2004, 08:20 PM
It is so difficult to give advice about medications, because different people respond so differently!
I can only talk about what happened to me personally. I was very afraid at first to start any medication, mainly because of the side effects I read about on the internet (me, I wasn't so concerned about the sexual ones though, I guess sex just has never played an important part in my life), and yes, also the fear that I might never be able to get off it again. When I did start on Prozac, the effect was very very positive, almost unbelievable. Maybe because at that time I was really ready to change, so I kind of "embraced" the medication.
I started on 20 mgs, after a few months I went up to 40. That is actually a pretty low dose for OCD, but again, everybody is different. By the time I started the medication, I honestly didn't mind taking it indefinitely anymore.
I don't think it had any negative effects on my personality. It did make it much easier to "ignore" my obsessions. To kind of wait them out, and see if they go away by themselves. Which of course they always do.
It was 3 or 4 years ago when I started on Prozac, and yes I AM still taking it, because I want to be extremely careful. I never want to go back to where I was, OCD-wise. I have slowly reduced the dosage, in tiny tiny steps (even though I spend much time in the US, I am from a different country, Switzerland, and there you often get Prozac in tablet form, which makes it very easy to divide them. Right now I am taking one day 20 mgs and the next 30 mgs.)
OK, as I said, all I can do is share my own experience. Maybe somebody else has something different to say.
Kathrin
I can only talk about what happened to me personally. I was very afraid at first to start any medication, mainly because of the side effects I read about on the internet (me, I wasn't so concerned about the sexual ones though, I guess sex just has never played an important part in my life), and yes, also the fear that I might never be able to get off it again. When I did start on Prozac, the effect was very very positive, almost unbelievable. Maybe because at that time I was really ready to change, so I kind of "embraced" the medication.
I started on 20 mgs, after a few months I went up to 40. That is actually a pretty low dose for OCD, but again, everybody is different. By the time I started the medication, I honestly didn't mind taking it indefinitely anymore.
I don't think it had any negative effects on my personality. It did make it much easier to "ignore" my obsessions. To kind of wait them out, and see if they go away by themselves. Which of course they always do.
It was 3 or 4 years ago when I started on Prozac, and yes I AM still taking it, because I want to be extremely careful. I never want to go back to where I was, OCD-wise. I have slowly reduced the dosage, in tiny tiny steps (even though I spend much time in the US, I am from a different country, Switzerland, and there you often get Prozac in tablet form, which makes it very easy to divide them. Right now I am taking one day 20 mgs and the next 30 mgs.)
OK, as I said, all I can do is share my own experience. Maybe somebody else has something different to say.
Kathrin
Flydatflag
12-21-2004, 04:18 AM
Intrusive thoughts...always there intruding. When you least expect it. What I found out through "normal" people, is that they get the same thoughts. That was the most amazing thing. I think something awful and other people think the same thing. Forget about acting on them, that's not part of our OCD problem. Someone with OCD would be the last person to act on them.
Anyway, I found that the difference between people with OCD and without it is simply this...when they get an intrusive thought, they don't get the tremendous guilt and need to continue thinking about it. The guilt alone, associated with that thought in your head, sends you into more of a spiraling effect. While others are lucky enough to discard them as merely an ugly thought, we have to feel the anxiety of having the thing and as you continue to obsess about it, the though grows beyond reality. In other words, it's all in your head!
Anyway, I found that the difference between people with OCD and without it is simply this...when they get an intrusive thought, they don't get the tremendous guilt and need to continue thinking about it. The guilt alone, associated with that thought in your head, sends you into more of a spiraling effect. While others are lucky enough to discard them as merely an ugly thought, we have to feel the anxiety of having the thing and as you continue to obsess about it, the though grows beyond reality. In other words, it's all in your head!
Sillygrl
12-23-2004, 05:42 PM
Hey, I know that it is all in my head, but with OCD you doubt everything!!! Like sometimes if I get a thought I tense up and then worry of my gosh was that a motion to do what I just thought. Like if I am holding a child and get a bad thought (which is the worst when about a child) I tense up and then I freak and analyze all day long if that was the physical reaction to anxiety or was that the motion to do what I thought in my head? Does this make any sense? Does anyone know what I am talking about?
Flydatflag
12-23-2004, 06:04 PM
I'm not sure what you mean by a motion? But I do understand thinking all day about what amounts to nothing. Did you ever wonder how much free time we would all have, to do something constructive if we weren't obsessing about guilty thoughts?
My obsessions prevented me from suceeding in college. I have my own business now but so many people have thought that I wasted a very analytical mind, like we all have.
Someone once told me that these obsessions used to come in handy as an emotional defense mechanism when we were younger, alot younger and now they just hang on for whatever reason.
I tell people that if they came inside my head for a minute, they would see a busy five lane highway that they couldn't get across. Always active. Think, think, think...sadly we waste our time on these things because people without this OCD can just discard these terrible thoughts, we cannot.
My obsessions prevented me from suceeding in college. I have my own business now but so many people have thought that I wasted a very analytical mind, like we all have.
Someone once told me that these obsessions used to come in handy as an emotional defense mechanism when we were younger, alot younger and now they just hang on for whatever reason.
I tell people that if they came inside my head for a minute, they would see a busy five lane highway that they couldn't get across. Always active. Think, think, think...sadly we waste our time on these things because people without this OCD can just discard these terrible thoughts, we cannot.
Sillygrl
12-23-2004, 06:45 PM
Ok what I mean is when I get a thought I get all tense and then because I worry so much I worry if the tenseness I get is me trying to act out what I am thinking. I know it is not, I dont even know why I am asking, its just I hate this constant worry.
Sillygrl
12-24-2004, 12:53 AM
Does anyone know? I am soooo scared
Flydatflag
12-24-2004, 04:59 AM
The tense feeling is anxiety. That is common with all of us. We try to fight these thoughts and the guilt that's associated with such awful thoughts. It's a snowball effect that keeps getting larger and larger.
If you are talking about "acting" on hurting someone that you love, forget it. The anxiety or "tenseness" is just coming from guilt from having such thoughts, not from doing the act. We with OCD overthink everything and if a compulsion is associated with it, watch out! It used to take me over an hour to tie my shoelaces...I think my record is 90 minutes and this went on for over a year. I'd have a bad thought in my obsessive mind then have to do the action that I was doing at the time of the bad thought, over and over and over. I call it being stuck.
There were times when I would "fight" the compulsion but the anxiety would stay with me everyday.
The problem with us OCD people is that we cannot accept "impure" thoughts. We become confused by these involuntary "intrusive" thoughts and begin to believe that this is what we really want to do. Why else would they come to mind? I must be bad! We cannot accept anything other than "good" thoughts. I can tell you that there's not a person walking around that does not have bad thoughts during the day. Your problem, like the rest of us OCD people, is that we cannot accept it and we obsess about "why" we had them. Others (people without OCD) just shrug it off in a second because they know that this is not who they are.
You and I want to be "perfect" and that's just not possible for any living human.
Remember, the more you think about a "bad" thought, the stronger it becomes! Then comes the tenseness and more obsessing. These thoughts turn into monstrous sizes...but it's all in your head.
If you really were a "bad" person then you would not be fighting or obsessing about the thought. You're a good person and as such you are unable to accept these "dirty" thoughts. Got it? You're good and that is why you become tense because the thought is the last thing that you would ever really do.
I've had this now for over 35 years and the best that I've gotten so far is medication, and its helped. The meds bring my "guilt" and obsessive level down to a point where I can function, but I still have my bad days.
Keep in mind that these repetitive thoughts take up alot of time and can also cause tenseness when you are late getting somewhere. Now you're late and you're under pressure and that's when the "bad" thought is able to take even more advantage of you. That's the snowball growing and growing.
You might want to try to "shrugging" it off just like any regular person and say, "that's not me and I wouldn't do that!". Now that's a true thought!
I hope this helps.
If you are talking about "acting" on hurting someone that you love, forget it. The anxiety or "tenseness" is just coming from guilt from having such thoughts, not from doing the act. We with OCD overthink everything and if a compulsion is associated with it, watch out! It used to take me over an hour to tie my shoelaces...I think my record is 90 minutes and this went on for over a year. I'd have a bad thought in my obsessive mind then have to do the action that I was doing at the time of the bad thought, over and over and over. I call it being stuck.
There were times when I would "fight" the compulsion but the anxiety would stay with me everyday.
The problem with us OCD people is that we cannot accept "impure" thoughts. We become confused by these involuntary "intrusive" thoughts and begin to believe that this is what we really want to do. Why else would they come to mind? I must be bad! We cannot accept anything other than "good" thoughts. I can tell you that there's not a person walking around that does not have bad thoughts during the day. Your problem, like the rest of us OCD people, is that we cannot accept it and we obsess about "why" we had them. Others (people without OCD) just shrug it off in a second because they know that this is not who they are.
You and I want to be "perfect" and that's just not possible for any living human.
Remember, the more you think about a "bad" thought, the stronger it becomes! Then comes the tenseness and more obsessing. These thoughts turn into monstrous sizes...but it's all in your head.
If you really were a "bad" person then you would not be fighting or obsessing about the thought. You're a good person and as such you are unable to accept these "dirty" thoughts. Got it? You're good and that is why you become tense because the thought is the last thing that you would ever really do.
I've had this now for over 35 years and the best that I've gotten so far is medication, and its helped. The meds bring my "guilt" and obsessive level down to a point where I can function, but I still have my bad days.
Keep in mind that these repetitive thoughts take up alot of time and can also cause tenseness when you are late getting somewhere. Now you're late and you're under pressure and that's when the "bad" thought is able to take even more advantage of you. That's the snowball growing and growing.
You might want to try to "shrugging" it off just like any regular person and say, "that's not me and I wouldn't do that!". Now that's a true thought!
I hope this helps.
Sillygrl
12-25-2004, 02:52 AM
Hey that does help me. It is especially hard though if I have a thought when I am holding a child or something. If the thought is about the child and I tense up, then for days I will doubt and worry about what happened. I worry that I tried to hurt them or something. Does anyone else relate???
Kathrin74
12-26-2004, 04:12 PM
I totally agree. The tense feeling comes from the anxiety and guilt.
Kathrin
Kathrin
leonna
12-31-2004, 08:48 PM
Wow,Hey All.
ive just read ALL the posts,i always read this board when i doubt myself..
today,i had an intrusive thought,i was holding my cousins baby,and i got some REALLY nasty thoughts,i felt like crying,or running away...i was totally freaked..i always have these thoughts,i cant see myself being without them,but who know's?..maybe,one day.These thoughts,are ruining my life,i scare myself,i think about it all day and all night..i cant explain at the moment as its late and my mind isnt working propley lol..but i just wanna say thank you to everyone on this board!
If any of you would like to email me here you go [ please carefully review the posting rules - no emails ]
ive just read ALL the posts,i always read this board when i doubt myself..
today,i had an intrusive thought,i was holding my cousins baby,and i got some REALLY nasty thoughts,i felt like crying,or running away...i was totally freaked..i always have these thoughts,i cant see myself being without them,but who know's?..maybe,one day.These thoughts,are ruining my life,i scare myself,i think about it all day and all night..i cant explain at the moment as its late and my mind isnt working propley lol..but i just wanna say thank you to everyone on this board!
If any of you would like to email me here you go [ please carefully review the posting rules - no emails ]
worry&pucks
01-06-2005, 11:07 AM
Sillygrl! Finally! I have never met anyone who experiences "motions" with their OCD. I do a very similar thing and it is so stressful. I might have a thought and then there may be the slightest "movement" afterward that makes me think that I'm acting on that thought. Does this sound familiar? One of the docs that I spoke with said that this was a type of mutation of my OCD. It's as if your OCD figures out that the thoughts alone are not troubling enough, so it wishes to add a new dimension to it, to help reinforce the bad thoughts and ideas. In short, I CAN COMPLETELY RELATE TO WHAT YOU ARE EXPERIENCING! You're the first one to have writtne anything similar to my "fun" times with OCD. If you'd like to talk more about it, please write back and we can share some thoughts!
getwell2005
01-06-2005, 04:29 PM
The post about having "motions" after your obsession is something very familiar to me. But I noticed that when I have a intrusive thought, my body freezes up because I think I might act on the obsession. Because of this I have tightness in my shoulders and back, that cause a great amount of stress. I struggle everyday with my OCD and it fights back just as hard. Does anyone have any suggestions or techniques that might help me?
getwell2005
01-06-2005, 04:36 PM
Yeah, I can relate. I often feel doubt and worry for days after an obsessive thought. I try to rationalize the thought and make sense of it, but it only makes things worse becasue I can never make sense of it. I get painful headaches from all these thoughts.
Kathrin74
01-06-2005, 04:48 PM
Leonna, these thoughts don't have to ruin your life. Try not to give them so much credit... I know it's hard.
I see you've been banned for posting your e-mail... I hope you can still read this, and I hope somehow you can get back in!
Kathrin
I see you've been banned for posting your e-mail... I hope you can still read this, and I hope somehow you can get back in!
Kathrin
kiehn
01-06-2005, 11:44 PM
I dont know if this will help anyone here. I've had intrusive thoughts for over 10 years, however Im also bipolar makes for quite a combo. Ive read several of the responses here regarding worry of acting on these intrusive thoughts.
I can tell you the worse my bipolar gets the harder it is for me to distinquish
the difference between reality and fantasy. Another words I start believing
the intrusive thoughts. Twice my bipolar has landed me in the hospital with me believing the intrusive thoughts 100%. I never hurt anyone either time, I just believed these thoughts as reality, which cause me extreme paranoia. It wasnt until I got stable was I able to determine the difference again.
For a long time I didnt know what I had but at first these thoughts freighten me to a point that I could hardly breath from the panic and anxiety. One day One day I got angry really angry and decided I might not be able to control the intrusive thoughts (stephen king whoa) but I could choose the ending of these thoughts or short stories at times, my endings, ones I liked, that didnt leave me feeling freaked out. Keep in mind sometimes I had to do this several times because these obsessive complusive intrusive thougts Im not saying this is the answer but possibly a helpful tool in addition to the meds.
Best wishes to all of you.
I can tell you the worse my bipolar gets the harder it is for me to distinquish
the difference between reality and fantasy. Another words I start believing
the intrusive thoughts. Twice my bipolar has landed me in the hospital with me believing the intrusive thoughts 100%. I never hurt anyone either time, I just believed these thoughts as reality, which cause me extreme paranoia. It wasnt until I got stable was I able to determine the difference again.
For a long time I didnt know what I had but at first these thoughts freighten me to a point that I could hardly breath from the panic and anxiety. One day One day I got angry really angry and decided I might not be able to control the intrusive thoughts (stephen king whoa) but I could choose the ending of these thoughts or short stories at times, my endings, ones I liked, that didnt leave me feeling freaked out. Keep in mind sometimes I had to do this several times because these obsessive complusive intrusive thougts Im not saying this is the answer but possibly a helpful tool in addition to the meds.
Best wishes to all of you.
maizie
02-03-2005, 03:19 PM
Hi there Sillygirl and all others out there with these awful thoughts.I have had this illness since a very young age 6/7 maybe.I am now in my 30s.In 2003 I gave birth to my little girl shes my first.I had watched a news bulletin about the Huntley killer and as I was then changing my baby I thought about what if I snapped and killed her just like he did.I felt sick I sweated Ithought I was going to have a heart attack.Since that day I have never been the same.I get loud thinking and as soon as I start to feel happy with my daughter my loud thinking says things like "Go on kill her then" I then get into a full panic and convince myself that I am crazy amnd if not crazy then I am evil.I love her so much and I have been through so much crap since I was little I cannot believe this is happening to me.I ask for nothing else other than this thing to stop haunting me.Does anyone out there know where I am coming from?
shikyh
02-08-2005, 02:41 AM
Im so glad i have read all these threads. Maizie, I have had 3 babies. Everytime I hear something on the news about childeren being hurt. I think the same way. I always stopped and thought,"what if i snapped one day and did something like that?" I love my childeren so much and know I wouldn't do anything to harm them. The thoughts put so much guilt into our head it makes us feel crazy even when we know we are not. I have had the same thoughts about changing diapers. Its almost like you want to change it as fast as you can. I was in remission for so long and I stopped my meds on my own (big mistake!!!) My ocd has come back full charge. I am checking things again stove, lightswitches, my baby, I have to see her chest move up and down 10 times before i can go to sleep just to make sure she is ok. When i feel like it is time to go to bed, it takes me an hour to get there. Unless my husband is up and he says (get in here!!!) because he knows what I am doing. Anyway I would like to here from you again Maizie. I feel something in common with you.
maizie
03-05-2005, 05:04 PM
Hi there Shikyh thanks so much for responding to me for a while i was starting to feel that I was completely crazy as I had not heard from anyone.I do not know what meds you wre on. I was on Ciprimil but I was never really sure whether they made me feel any better.I think they may be numbed things alittle.I have gradually come off them but I do feel dreadful I suppose its always been on my mind thet because we want another baby soon I did not want to be taking anything.Most of the time this week I have felt compkletely isolatedv from others.These thoughts of killing my beautiful baby have taken over every single minute of the day.The only time they are not with me is when I am asleep and I do go to sleep quickly as I am that exhausted from the constant battle of thoughts and loud thinking.Do you or anyone else out there get the loud thinking? I have started to anayalyse every thought again.Sometimes I am in prison after commiting this awful crime and I think all the time what would my family think and then its like this other thought says who cares killers do not care about what anyone else thinks and then the whole obssessive thoughts repeat themselves yet again.I do not know if anyone fully understands this .I love my daughter so much and this should be the happiest time of my life.I have started to feel really down this week to about the whole same routine of having a baby not being able to have time for me and then my thoughts kick in even stronger and its as though something is saying see there you go I told you why did you have kids then i feel sick sweat alot and begin to panic about my whole life.Does this sound familiar to anyone at all or am I insane?
Stumper
03-05-2005, 06:00 PM
Maizie,
Believe me you are not alone. I can feel the pain of what your are going through in your posting.
My own 17 year old boy has OCD with everything at one time almost identical to you.
Not only has he gone through this but I as well as I couldn't help but feel and imagine what he was going through.
He went on medication and is totally, most of the time nearly 100%.
There is help Maize. If I can answer any questions for you I will try. :)
Take care :)
Believe me you are not alone. I can feel the pain of what your are going through in your posting.
My own 17 year old boy has OCD with everything at one time almost identical to you.
Not only has he gone through this but I as well as I couldn't help but feel and imagine what he was going through.
He went on medication and is totally, most of the time nearly 100%.
There is help Maize. If I can answer any questions for you I will try. :)
Take care :)
Stumper
03-06-2005, 09:43 AM
Oh, and btw Maize,
My son also had those loud" or "shouting" thoughts that you describe.
I will tell you a few things tht should be able to help you immediately. First off cut the sugar intake. Sugar has a way of creating greater activity in the brain and complicating matters.
If you like your sweets then begin to have 2 eggs in the morning. Protien will cut the desire for sugar WAY down, BIG time. :)
Secondly I am curious of the med you took Ciprimil.
How well did it work?
The only two top ranking meds for OCD are Anafranil and Luvox. Anafranil has a 67% success rate and Luvox looks to have a 60% succes rate. Anafranil has been around for quite some time now. About 35 years with a good track record. I am not sure about Luvox.
You may wish to speak with your doctor. The Anafranil has been a Godsend to us. It has brought our lives back to normal. My son is at 99% most of the time.
My son also had those loud" or "shouting" thoughts that you describe.
I will tell you a few things tht should be able to help you immediately. First off cut the sugar intake. Sugar has a way of creating greater activity in the brain and complicating matters.
If you like your sweets then begin to have 2 eggs in the morning. Protien will cut the desire for sugar WAY down, BIG time. :)
Secondly I am curious of the med you took Ciprimil.
How well did it work?
The only two top ranking meds for OCD are Anafranil and Luvox. Anafranil has a 67% success rate and Luvox looks to have a 60% succes rate. Anafranil has been around for quite some time now. About 35 years with a good track record. I am not sure about Luvox.
You may wish to speak with your doctor. The Anafranil has been a Godsend to us. It has brought our lives back to normal. My son is at 99% most of the time.
maizie
03-07-2005, 04:14 PM
Pumper thanks for that it is wonderful news that your son is so much better it is a dreadful illness and I am determined to be better than this.I was on Ciprimil I started taking it this time last year and there has been little improvement I went up to 60mg then would stll have very bad symptoms so stayed on 20 for ages again feeling much the same.I have jus weaned myself off 5mg.Its weird though because although I cannot feel much better on them without them I feel awful.I cannot stop crying and feel anxious depressed and full of obsessive thoughts.I thanktou for your advise though re the luvox and ananfranil .I am from England so I hope it is one doctors here are familiar with.The thought of taking medication for life no longer bothers me but the thought of trying lots and lots before I get there does so its great to have ones recommended.I have started on the Actimel drinks and St Johns wort after a recommendation from a friend, but I will cut down on the sugar I love chocolate but will take the advise about the eggs.Did your son have any help by any therapists?You are obviously a very caring and supportive father and understanding of this illness.Thanks for your support.Maizie.
Stumper
03-07-2005, 05:21 PM
Pumper thanks for that it is wonderful news that your son is so much better it is a dreadful illness and I am determined to be better than this.I was on Ciprimil I started taking it this time last year and there has been little improvement I went up to 60mg then would stll have very bad symptoms so stayed on 20 for ages again feeling much the same.I have jus weaned myself off 5mg.Its weird though because although I cannot feel much better on them without them I feel awful.I cannot stop crying and feel anxious depressed and full of obsessive thoughts.I thanktou for your advise though re the luvox and ananfranil .I am from England so I hope it is one doctors here are familiar with.The thought of taking medication for life no longer bothers me but the thought of trying lots and lots before I get there does so its great to have ones recommended.I have started on the Actimel drinks and St Johns wort after a recommendation from a friend, but I will cut down on the sugar I love chocolate but will take the advise about the eggs.Did your son have any help by any therapists?You are obviously a very caring and supportive father and understanding of this illness.Thanks for your support.Maizie.
Maizie,
You are very welcome and thank you for the kind words. :)
Yes, my son does have a therapist that he sees about 3 times a year along with his Psychiatrist that he sees about 6 times a year.
The therapist helps him but more so it helps him relax. I cannot really say that he absolutely needs her, its just that it is some sort of a requirement by the medical firm we go to plus I think the insurance company wants it. But, I can choose to change, and if I did I would probably choose an OCD therapist who is more knowledgable than her. But the Psychiatrist is a great help as he has 30+ years of experience and understands OCD.
I understand chocolate, who doesn't like it? :) What you can do is try to find sugar free kind. I find sugar free chocolate to be quite good myself. Actually better than the sugar kind.
Maizie, What is happening is that you have an "overactive" part of the brain in the "Basa Ganglia" (sp?) area that causes OCD. At least this is what the experts feels causes it. Sugar messes with the insulin levels and makes any overactivity even worse. Eating two eggs every morning will cut your desire for sugar. Actually this is a method used to help alcoholics recover. They crave the sugar from alcohol and a high protien diet diminishes this desire drastically.
You will want to try (at your doctors approval) the Anafranil (67% success rate) or Luvox (60% success rate). Go with the best. Anafranil here in the U.S. has been approved to the age of 10 so it is very safe. I am unfamilar with Luvox. My son also uses some Ativan "as needed" which is usually 1 gram a day. This Ativan is a ENORMOUS help in time if stress/ anxiety. I mean ENORMOUS. Some will tell you that it is addictive but we have found that not to be the case if it is used soley to correct an imbalance. This is what our doctor told us. It would only be addictive if you use it "above and beyond" what you should, in other words as a "sedative" or a "feel good" pill.
Your doctors in England should be familar with Anafranil (Clomipramine). It has been around for a long time. If you get it get it in 25 Mg. capsules that you can adjust. If you get to much you wil get "opposite" affects. We did this once and easily adjusted it lower, and it worked really well. But, it would be best as always to listen to your doctor.
Don't wait to long Maizie, to get help. I know how much my son suffered from these nagging intrusive unwanted thoughts and it is hard, but survivable. :)
But be sure to find a doctor who understands OCD and write down your symptoms before you go and hand it to him.
Now as to St. Johns Wort, please be careful. I hope it helps you but I tried it on my son and it only seemed to complicate matters with his medication. Herbs can be very helpful but unpredictable as well. :)
Please take car and let us know how it goes :)
Maizie,
You are very welcome and thank you for the kind words. :)
Yes, my son does have a therapist that he sees about 3 times a year along with his Psychiatrist that he sees about 6 times a year.
The therapist helps him but more so it helps him relax. I cannot really say that he absolutely needs her, its just that it is some sort of a requirement by the medical firm we go to plus I think the insurance company wants it. But, I can choose to change, and if I did I would probably choose an OCD therapist who is more knowledgable than her. But the Psychiatrist is a great help as he has 30+ years of experience and understands OCD.
I understand chocolate, who doesn't like it? :) What you can do is try to find sugar free kind. I find sugar free chocolate to be quite good myself. Actually better than the sugar kind.
Maizie, What is happening is that you have an "overactive" part of the brain in the "Basa Ganglia" (sp?) area that causes OCD. At least this is what the experts feels causes it. Sugar messes with the insulin levels and makes any overactivity even worse. Eating two eggs every morning will cut your desire for sugar. Actually this is a method used to help alcoholics recover. They crave the sugar from alcohol and a high protien diet diminishes this desire drastically.
You will want to try (at your doctors approval) the Anafranil (67% success rate) or Luvox (60% success rate). Go with the best. Anafranil here in the U.S. has been approved to the age of 10 so it is very safe. I am unfamilar with Luvox. My son also uses some Ativan "as needed" which is usually 1 gram a day. This Ativan is a ENORMOUS help in time if stress/ anxiety. I mean ENORMOUS. Some will tell you that it is addictive but we have found that not to be the case if it is used soley to correct an imbalance. This is what our doctor told us. It would only be addictive if you use it "above and beyond" what you should, in other words as a "sedative" or a "feel good" pill.
Your doctors in England should be familar with Anafranil (Clomipramine). It has been around for a long time. If you get it get it in 25 Mg. capsules that you can adjust. If you get to much you wil get "opposite" affects. We did this once and easily adjusted it lower, and it worked really well. But, it would be best as always to listen to your doctor.
Don't wait to long Maizie, to get help. I know how much my son suffered from these nagging intrusive unwanted thoughts and it is hard, but survivable. :)
But be sure to find a doctor who understands OCD and write down your symptoms before you go and hand it to him.
Now as to St. Johns Wort, please be careful. I hope it helps you but I tried it on my son and it only seemed to complicate matters with his medication. Herbs can be very helpful but unpredictable as well. :)
Please take car and let us know how it goes :)
basal1999
03-07-2005, 05:42 PM
i have been reading this thread and it comforts me.
i have harming intrusive thoughts, i do quite well on paxil
and xanex as needed!!
but i still have bad weeks here and there.
re: insulin levels, i am an insulin dependent diabetic on
an insulin pump, i wonder how that insulin theory affects me??
also, it's funny how SO many of us have the same EXACT thoughts!!
i can't stand when i'm not doing well, that i doubt all my
true feelings, it's a bummer BIG TIME!!
i know i need to stop trying to "figure it out", can't help
it.
kris
i have harming intrusive thoughts, i do quite well on paxil
and xanex as needed!!
but i still have bad weeks here and there.
re: insulin levels, i am an insulin dependent diabetic on
an insulin pump, i wonder how that insulin theory affects me??
also, it's funny how SO many of us have the same EXACT thoughts!!
i can't stand when i'm not doing well, that i doubt all my
true feelings, it's a bummer BIG TIME!!
i know i need to stop trying to "figure it out", can't help
it.
kris
Stumper
03-07-2005, 05:53 PM
i have been reading this thread and it comforts me.
i have harming intrusive thoughts, i do quite well on paxil
and xanex as needed!!
but i still have bad weeks here and there.
re: insulin levels, i am an insulin dependent diabetic on
an insulin pump, i wonder how that insulin theory affects me??
also, it's funny how SO many of us have the same EXACT thoughts!!
i can't stand when i'm not doing well, that i doubt all my
true feelings, it's a bummer BIG TIME!!
i know i need to stop trying to "figure it out", can't help
it.
kris
Kris,
If you are on insulin my guess is that you want to keep your blood sugar levels under control as much as possible. If you do that you probably will help yourself enormously. Listen to your doctor :)
And I know about what you mean about "exact thoughts". You are right, I find it almost uncanny! :)
My son has a little bit of a down day here or there as well, (very seldom anymore) but they are not nearly as bad. I mean....we had a full 8 months go by with absolutely no problems whatsoever. I mean, he was 100%. I thought he was cured!
Also , go with high protien Kris.
i have harming intrusive thoughts, i do quite well on paxil
and xanex as needed!!
but i still have bad weeks here and there.
re: insulin levels, i am an insulin dependent diabetic on
an insulin pump, i wonder how that insulin theory affects me??
also, it's funny how SO many of us have the same EXACT thoughts!!
i can't stand when i'm not doing well, that i doubt all my
true feelings, it's a bummer BIG TIME!!
i know i need to stop trying to "figure it out", can't help
it.
kris
Kris,
If you are on insulin my guess is that you want to keep your blood sugar levels under control as much as possible. If you do that you probably will help yourself enormously. Listen to your doctor :)
And I know about what you mean about "exact thoughts". You are right, I find it almost uncanny! :)
My son has a little bit of a down day here or there as well, (very seldom anymore) but they are not nearly as bad. I mean....we had a full 8 months go by with absolutely no problems whatsoever. I mean, he was 100%. I thought he was cured!
Also , go with high protien Kris.
Stumper
03-07-2005, 07:36 PM
Geewhiz,
I forgot to mention caffeine! :)
Do NOT drinK coffee unless it is decaf. Caffeine is a stimulant and will mess with brain chemicals!
I forgot to mention caffeine! :)
Do NOT drinK coffee unless it is decaf. Caffeine is a stimulant and will mess with brain chemicals!
chwestphal
04-29-2005, 04:54 PM
I too am having what I call "bad thoughts" regarding my newborn 2 month old baby. I was hospitalized a little over 1 week ago because it scared me so bad. I was told I was suffering from post-partum depression. I am on Zoloft 150 mg and patiently waiting for it to work. It will pass. It is nice to know they are just OCD thoughts and can be controlled.
chwestphal
chwestphal
Sari05
04-30-2005, 08:54 PM
I have OCD, I have a obsession of washing myself, and I have bad thoughts.
I have thoughts of killing my family and myself. But I am not going to kill my family, I love my family very much, and I will not kill myself, I am not that kind of a people.
At first, I thought that they were voices, but I realized that they were just thoughts.
I am on medication for my OCD, and my OCD drives me crazy.
I have thoughts of killing my family and myself. But I am not going to kill my family, I love my family very much, and I will not kill myself, I am not that kind of a people.
At first, I thought that they were voices, but I realized that they were just thoughts.
I am on medication for my OCD, and my OCD drives me crazy.
tinagrl03
05-01-2005, 01:08 AM
Its amazing how much I can realte to y'all. It helps me so much knowing I'm nto alone. I'm 16 and I've had these thoughts since I was13.Not long but it seems liek its been forever.Its not really aobut killing people but I feel like its worse.I don't want to go into detail.It would be hurting somebody tho.And I feel like I am such a bad person and that I want to do these things; that oen day I'll act on them.I try over and over again to convince myself "No you don't want to do this " but then it just gets me in deeper.I feel like I really want to do awful things.My dad believes OCD is all made up so I don't want to tell him and me and my mom can't hide it from him.I'll have to take herbs not medication for it and I have no idea what herb to take.It goes away and right when life is perfect boom it comes back.I just want to be a happy,normal 16 year old but I can't be cuz I feel so weird and liek such a horible person. I hate it.And then I think "Maybe its not Ocd maybe I am just naturally weird or evil" but I have so many symptons.I obsessed about having or not having Ocd.Uggg! Somebody please respnd.I need some comfort that I'm not trash.
ms_vee
05-01-2005, 02:16 AM
i would like to know what intrusive thoughts are and what is OCD???? courious