MIpigpen
12-05-2004, 02:00 AM
If you don't have alot of time on your hands...better not start this one! Forgive spelling/grammer.
May be long and a little bitter...just realized the support I had kept hoping for one day-after about 5 years of marriage-will most likely never come. Even if he somehow deals with his moods or most likely-depression-it will not come soon and I can not wait around for it. First time I needed his help when a full-blown attack was comeing on late at night, he told me I was being obsessive. Too late to call friends. tough to go thru it alone when it is one of those where you think, "okay I know those other's were panic attacks, but this time it's a storke!"
Caring man, great father of two small children, great with all things aroung the house. Does all the laundry, buys diapers, rubs my feet, gets up with the boys every weekend so I can sleep in after a long night of restlesness.
Sobbing and begging for help? Won't get out of bed and just says "I can't understand a word you are saying!" I guess flight must have taken over and I ran downstairs to run outside for fresh air and to control this uncontorable, and very rare, sobbing. He turned the outside lights off and went back upstairs.
Start to pinpoint major anxiey over numerous issues arising with our in-house sitter. He tells me she is unhappy because the house isn't clean enough. My husband has told me before that is a big issue with him. I just want to make sure it is sanitary, but can't expend the energy on tidy.
This is a sticy one: Walk in on Mother-in-law litteraly draggin my newly potty-trained 3 year-old (pee only) into the bathroom to make him sit until he has a BM. We were leting him put on his own diaper for this. He was sobbing and saying "no Grandma!" He saw me and said "help mommy help!" She didn't stop and said "NO! we will not use diapers anymore! You are a big boy! WE have already taken care of this! (I guess meaning this is what she had done when we left him with her the other day.) Obviously, big issues arrised, son had a fer crying spells and Grandma comments and we backed off of the BM issue for a while...This should be an easy one, right??? NOt only did my husband not address this with his mother, but also told me I was making too big of a deal, and really, didn't stick up for his son. He asked her to come over to see the boys a few weeks later and asked me to make sure I didn't come home from work before my dinner so his mom wouldn't be uncomfortable.
Oh, and this is the same person that rearange my closet and hung t-shirt up in place of dresses. Threw away all my thongs and sexy p.j.s. Packed away my new clothes in box in basement marked "old baby clothes" Hung a t-shirt in my closet saying "martha stweart sure doesn't live here". She is a tirriger and just lately I have refused to let her come over. He takes the boys up to see her.
Too long..lwrap it up! Football game instead of 1st days of family vacation, out of town funeral of a grandpa of an out of touch freind over my 28 hours of no sleep and much needed help taking care of the kids. (ended up with lump behind ear, dizzy, confussion, blurred vision, joint pain-all from Chronic sleep problems. )Basketball game over a comitment to attened a work party (terrified! Went out on leave for PA, they were not happy) Football and hanging out with his brother and Mom over trip with his wife and boys to Ohio for a fair. On and on..but those are some big ones.
Biggest one? His mother has diagnosed with emotional and other helath problems, in a Major way. Husband has always refused the depression that he has suffered from until recently. Finial admited he was depressed.Told me it was because he had to deal with my anxiety issue and when I fixed myself, he'd be better. PA's are coming on when I have to walk in the door or even be in the same room. He will not get help for his depression and although I had offered my help and given open support, he refuses to do anything and doesn't want to take any meds.
How do you fix this one!
May be long and a little bitter...just realized the support I had kept hoping for one day-after about 5 years of marriage-will most likely never come. Even if he somehow deals with his moods or most likely-depression-it will not come soon and I can not wait around for it. First time I needed his help when a full-blown attack was comeing on late at night, he told me I was being obsessive. Too late to call friends. tough to go thru it alone when it is one of those where you think, "okay I know those other's were panic attacks, but this time it's a storke!"
Caring man, great father of two small children, great with all things aroung the house. Does all the laundry, buys diapers, rubs my feet, gets up with the boys every weekend so I can sleep in after a long night of restlesness.
Sobbing and begging for help? Won't get out of bed and just says "I can't understand a word you are saying!" I guess flight must have taken over and I ran downstairs to run outside for fresh air and to control this uncontorable, and very rare, sobbing. He turned the outside lights off and went back upstairs.
Start to pinpoint major anxiey over numerous issues arising with our in-house sitter. He tells me she is unhappy because the house isn't clean enough. My husband has told me before that is a big issue with him. I just want to make sure it is sanitary, but can't expend the energy on tidy.
This is a sticy one: Walk in on Mother-in-law litteraly draggin my newly potty-trained 3 year-old (pee only) into the bathroom to make him sit until he has a BM. We were leting him put on his own diaper for this. He was sobbing and saying "no Grandma!" He saw me and said "help mommy help!" She didn't stop and said "NO! we will not use diapers anymore! You are a big boy! WE have already taken care of this! (I guess meaning this is what she had done when we left him with her the other day.) Obviously, big issues arrised, son had a fer crying spells and Grandma comments and we backed off of the BM issue for a while...This should be an easy one, right??? NOt only did my husband not address this with his mother, but also told me I was making too big of a deal, and really, didn't stick up for his son. He asked her to come over to see the boys a few weeks later and asked me to make sure I didn't come home from work before my dinner so his mom wouldn't be uncomfortable.
Oh, and this is the same person that rearange my closet and hung t-shirt up in place of dresses. Threw away all my thongs and sexy p.j.s. Packed away my new clothes in box in basement marked "old baby clothes" Hung a t-shirt in my closet saying "martha stweart sure doesn't live here". She is a tirriger and just lately I have refused to let her come over. He takes the boys up to see her.
Too long..lwrap it up! Football game instead of 1st days of family vacation, out of town funeral of a grandpa of an out of touch freind over my 28 hours of no sleep and much needed help taking care of the kids. (ended up with lump behind ear, dizzy, confussion, blurred vision, joint pain-all from Chronic sleep problems. )Basketball game over a comitment to attened a work party (terrified! Went out on leave for PA, they were not happy) Football and hanging out with his brother and Mom over trip with his wife and boys to Ohio for a fair. On and on..but those are some big ones.
Biggest one? His mother has diagnosed with emotional and other helath problems, in a Major way. Husband has always refused the depression that he has suffered from until recently. Finial admited he was depressed.Told me it was because he had to deal with my anxiety issue and when I fixed myself, he'd be better. PA's are coming on when I have to walk in the door or even be in the same room. He will not get help for his depression and although I had offered my help and given open support, he refuses to do anything and doesn't want to take any meds.
How do you fix this one!