I have been worrying for 1 year now. And my life is not the same anymore.
I had only one sexual partner and it drives me crazy to get something like this from my first girlfriend. I drove her crazy with my fears so she doesnt talk to me anymore. She told me million times that she took the tests and everything is negative..but i cant just believe it. I wanted to see the test results but she did not show them to me. We were still together when she took the test and she immediately called me after she got the results (she is in another state) She was worried because everything else but HSV1 came back negative. Then we learned about HSV1, which is not a problem at all. She graduated and has a job somewhere now in the government.

I finally convinced myself that i am fine 2 weeks ago because everyone around me got sick and got the flu/cold...i tried to catch it from them by staying close to them but i didnt catch it.

However last week a friend of mine came to me and told me that he got tested because his girlfriend was worrying about her status. So, suddenlly the stupid fear came back in to my life again. She was saying everyday to my friend that she will die and she is 100% +. She said that she feels very weak, alyways fatigue, muscle pains, her tongue is white, she has dierrhea. She even convinced us that she is +
She was walking in the house with blankets around her, she looked really sick, she lost 5 kg in 3 days. So, we really worried abouit the results. She started to worry crazy like this because she felt very tired for 2 weeks and she checked on the internet and everything brought her HIV/AIDS

So, they got tested and the results came back negative! Both of them. When she learned her results all her symptoms went away.

I could not believe how her mind played all those games to her. How powerful mind really is.

Then i told myself that i never had the fatigue, muscle problems. So another sign that i am negative. Then i read about fatigue and muscle pains on the internet to learn more Then something horrible happened the next day.

I woke up in the morning and i felt so tired. I thought my legs couldnt carry me anymore. My arms and legs felt very weird and they still feel very weird.

Then i read about chronic fatigue symptoms on the net. Now i feel worse

I know that my mind plays game on me but i cant prevent it from doing that because there is always the big IF question in my mind for 1 year now.

I spent the whole day in my bed and worried, dranlk lots of alcohol.

My question is can this virus create this symptoms without causing any problems in the immune system. I mean i still did not catch the flu or cold but now i feel really really really bad. I feel so tired and weird i cant even do anything. I thought that HIV makes you more weak against things like cold/flu
Can our minds make us feel tired, weak?

Or am i loosing it now??? I could easily shoot myself and finish everything but i cant do that to the people that care about me.

Note: I am a popular guy around my friends so dont think i am this worrying person who is always at the corner of the room.. but i have hyperhydrosis. It means excessive sweating. I never took any medicine for this because i dont even take Tylonol or Advil for headaches. I hate medicines. So, i think i have some anxiety problems but my mind was never controlling me like this before

Thank you for readig his..please reply to my questions

Wow....you have really outdone yourself out by worrying about this haven't you? Instead of driving yourself over the edge, why don't you just get tested? The wait is scary yes, but think of how great it'll be when the results come back negative...you can breathe a sigh of relief and smile. The mind is a powerful thing and can make you feel things such as "symptoms" when your actually fine. Oh and sometimes just because you don't have fatique or muscle problems doesn't mean you don't have HIV. Like they say, lots of people go YEARS without ever knowing they have the virus. The only way of knowing is to get tested. You can't always go by what other people say or symptoms on the internet. You need to get the blood test. It's a terrible virus yes, but with all the medical advancements in the world people are living happy LONGER lives.

Seriously...If you get tested and you were positive then you can take meds that can give you a full long life and even a possible family if that what you chose to do. It doesn't have to be a death sentence anymore....If it comes back negative then your worries will be gone and you will be very cautious. You only lose if you don't get tested because then it might be too far and meds may not help so much. IF your girlfriend was tested she should have shown you the papers. SOunds like she was lying to me. Plus when I was tested I didn't get a paper. They had a paper but it was in my doctors folder. Good luck. The sooner you get tested the longer you can live.

Thanks for the replies

She told me that she did not have a paper and could not give it to me. (She got tested at her college) I did not believe that and wanted to see something. I wanted her to send me all her medical papers. She told me that she cant do that and people do not send their medical records around to everyone in the US

Then i kept on going with my HIV fears and mentioned her this all the time in my e-mails, phone calls.....

She told me always that we are fine but all my worries made me say very bad things to her and we eventually broke up.
Even when we were not together she told me how much she cares about me and i should stop looking on the internet for symptoms. I still kept on aksing if she really took the tests.

Then she found a new boyfriend and then she started to hate me. She told me how her new boyfriend treats her like a girlfriend and not like someone who always accused her of giving him a disease. I told her that she should not have unprotected sex with her new boyfriend but she told me that i do not have anything to say in that matter.

Then she told me that she is fed up with this and told me that she does not want to talk to me anymore. She told me that she ows me nothing and she took care of herself and everything is fine with her. She told me if i worry so much then i should get tested. She told me that she can not have sympathy towards someone who is always complaining about something but did not do anything abnout it.

Everytime i write or think about this i feel very very bad...my arm and my leg hurts.

Well she is right about one thing. You need to get tested if your so worried. She might not of wanted to show you the paper not so much because she had HIV, but maybe a more personal female problem such as a yeast infection. Stuff like that is out of our hands and something we can't really control. It's a serious thing if not treated but sadly when a guy hears that a woman has an infection like that they get weirded out. (going by my brothers's reactions) Maybe she had an STD? A common one such as Chlamydia? It's able to treat, but not something you wanna go around sharing with people. Please go get tested to ease your mind and all your fears. You'll feel 100 times better! I guarentee it!

Both of you say that she lied to me..Thats not good

We were still together when she got tested and i remember that day clearly. She called me and told me that the tests came back and everything except HSV1 came back negative. I didnt know anythign about HSV1 then and i yelled at her. Then she told me that at least other things like HIV came back negative and i should calm down. I didnt

Then we continued our relationship for sometime. We talked on the phone very often. Then i got interested in STD's and read alot about everything.
Then i started to worry about HIV...I kept asking her iin all our phone conversations if she really took the tests. She always said yes and she told me that she wants to have a normal conversation with me instead of talking about HIV all the time.

She is not like some hooker that i met on the street. She was a student at a ivy league college and didnt look sick at all (i know even healthy looking people can be + )

Anyway..can you please answer my questions

1) can this virus create this symptoms without causing any problems in the immune system. I mean i still did not catch the flu or cold but now i feel really really really bad. I feel so tired and weird i cant even do anything. I thought that HIV makes you more weak against things like cold/flu
Can our minds make us feel tired, weak?

2) Don't they test people for HIV and other things in the US before starting a job at the US Government?

Thank you

You can go years without knowing you have HIV because some people have no symptoms until later on and I mean LATER on down the road. My cousin is HIV + has been for almost 4 years now. He was full of energy, happiness just everything in general. He too thought if he had HIV he would get "the symptoms." Low and behold because of his guilt of having unprotected sex he went and got tested to ease his mind and fears. Sadly he did test positive. Had he not tested I think he would still have no idea and eventually down the road he would have left this earth alot sooner had it not been for the medications he is now on. But anyway getting tested is the only way to know. You can't diagnose yourself just becuase you have a muscle ache here or there or on a certain day your tired and don't know why. And yes your mind can play tricks on you and make you feel like you have something when you really dont. Why not get tested and put your mind at ease?

I personally think you're driving yourself nuts. Go get tested - It's the only way to be sure. Chances are you have nothing to be worried about.
Your mind is a powerful thing and can make you feel symptoms of just about any disease if you let it.
The sad part about your story is the fact that it sounded like you might have had a good relationship with this girl, and all your accusations and distrust probably caused the breakup. How sad is that? Honestly, I would have been offended by your persistant questions just as she was. If you were worried about it, why didn't you get tested when she got tested?
HIV/AIDS is a serious disease and is nothing to be taken lightly, but it also tends to make people extremely paranoid for no reason. This is why the mind can play tricks on you.
If you are still concerned about exposure, please go see your doctor and have him/her run a series of tests to see if you contracted any/all of the possible STD's. It's the only way you can be certain of an exposure.
To answer your question about the government jobs,,,usually no - Companies do not require an HIV test when you're hired. Some may, but usually not. It all depends on what type of work you were hired to do.
Best of luck to you - I hope you're feeling better soon! :)