i dont know what to do.
sorry this post is so long but hopefully you will read it and respond.
heres my story.
when i was 14, i got really stressed and depressed about a situation. i tried to take my own life. i failed and ended up in hospital for weeks. had to attend compulsory counselling sessions. counsellor told me that she didnt believe a word i said.
for the next few years, i was ok.
then, at around 18, i started to experience depression, especially after i broke up with a longterm boyfriend. it lasted for almost 8 months, even when i had school exams.
suddenly, i felt like things were getting too much for me, i started to feel extremly suicidal, so i went to the doctor. she didnt take me very seriously, she probably thought that i was just experiencing teenage problems.
a few months later, i kind of had what is called a breakdown. i left home, well ran away, went to stay with my new boyfriend at the time, without telling my parents anything, because i was so depressed/stressed with my life.
my parents begged me to return home, so i did. attended counselling sessions, after a month waiting on the list. they helped me. i got better, after taking a year out before going to university.
in the year that i took out of university, i felt depressed from time to time, but just attributed it to my way of life at home, i didnt like my parents rules.
i am at university now. and i seem to get these depressed feelings even more frequently and worse than before.
sometimes i get really stressed. somtimes i get really down, and i feel suicidal, though i dont think i would do anything, its the thoughts and memories about when i was 14 that get me hysterical.
its got the point when sometimes i just wont do my university work or attend lectures.
ive told a few of my friends the way i feel, and my boyfriend.
but no one ever takes me seriously.
it is because i am very good at hiding my feelings and because i am generally a very cheerful and energetic person.
please help.
sometimes i do want to go see a doctor, but am scared no one wil take me seriously.
whats happening?

You need to be taken seriously, for a start. That quack doctor should have listened to you when you were 14 and not called you a liar.

Ask around and get recommendations for a reallY GOOD therapist or psychiatrist. I've had good luck with them myself - there are good ones out there. I wish I could be more help.

Go to the doctor! If she/he doesn't take you seriously, go to a different one. You have no idea how much better things can be when you get help...
Sorry this is a pretty stupid reply but yeah you deserve to be taken seriously and you don't deserve to feel this way.
Sorry bout this
Zizzi.

im 15 and going through what you went through when you were my age. I also am good at hiding how i feel.. because when i tell people how i feel all it does is cause awkwardness or fights within my family.. so ive learned to just hide everything, despite it getting worse. and now i feel like slowly im just falling apart and i dont know how or when to finally tell someone everything. because whenever i try to i just feel like people are just thinking i am moody like a teenager is supposed to be, when really its so much more. I wish i could explain everything and everyone would understand. but its so hard to explain that keeping it in is easier at times even though in the end it only makes it worse. im not suicidal but i do hurt myself: cut burn hit? if thats the word for it (make black and blue marks on me) i have horrible anxiety which causes most of my depression and i just feel like little by little im getting worse and worse and theres no way of turning it around.
so in the sense of no one taking you seriously i know exactly how you feel or felt at my age.. i hope someone takes you seriously because like zilea said you dont deserve to feel this way.. no one does... hope everything goes well =)

NaE

I think I can remember as far back as age 11 or 12 as being depressed. I attempted suicide at 17, but adamently refused any medication because I thought it would make me a 'zombie' or turn me in to someone else. So, I suffered another 9 years or so being depressed, crying all the time, and being just generally unhappy. I finally agreed to 'try' an antidepressant 8 years ago, at age 26, and I don't regret it one bit. I'm not trying to push meds on anyone or saying they're right for everyone, and they certainly aren't a 'miracle cure'. But, what I do know is that it brings me to a level of functioning emotionally, so that I CAN control my life. As in all fields, there are some really good and really bad mental health professionals. Like everyone says, FIND one that really listens, and makes you a part of your own treatment plan/goals. It's amazing in this day and age the amount of advocacy we have to do for ourselves to be heard, when all we want to do sometimes is shut the world out and sleeeeeep. You've taken the first step. You've reached out for help. Some say that's the hardest part. My road was, and will continue to be, full of trial and error, but 95% of the time, I'm up for the challenge now. Best wishes and feel free to ask questions, it's how we learn.
~pink

wow, i didnt imagine i would get this respone, thanks guys.
see, the thing is, i dont feel like this all this all the time, so im not sure. it happens from time to time.
i wouldnt want to go round asking for good doctors, or trying to find one, if one doesnt believe me- because wouldnt that show that something? like maybe this isnt serious enough?
i was going to tell my head of my department at university, and explain this is why my essays have been late, but im so scared he wont believe me, thinking its just an excuse.
i dont know even what to say to the doctor, if i go. should i wait til i get really depressed then go, so the doctor can see how down i get? but when im depressed, i dont do anytihing, so wouldnt go to the doctors.
is there actually something wrong with me? do i need to see a doctor??????