I am 20 years old and i lost my father two weeks ago. I hadnt talked to him in two weeks and i think the last time that i saw him was a month before he passed away. I had been awaiting a phone call back from him when i got a different phone call instead. My mother called me to tell me he had died. He had recently moved into a new apartment(3 days before he passed) so my mother older sister and i had to go to this new strange place and clean it out by ourselves. How do you deal with that? how do you deal with the loss of someone so important to you when it doesnt even seem real? someone tells you 'this is your dads new house' someone tells you 'he died'. I had such a hard time with all of this. I felt like such an awful person packing up my fathers things into boxes and bags and watching some of his things going into the garbage. My father passed away in his bed. My uncles threw the bed away in a large dumpster... I dont think i will ever get taht image out of my head. I felt and still feel like they just picked him up and put him in the dumpster. We still dont know the details of his death and i honestly dont think we will ever find out the truth... Everyday something new reminds me of him, or someone else calls to check on me. I just want to run away to the other side of the world and be by myself for years.

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I know how you are feeling. I lost my Father on Father's Day this year. I held him as he was dying. He even opened his eyes and looked at me as I talked to him. I watched him take his last breath, but I still can't believe he is gone.

You are in shock right now. You don't understand why he died and you were there while his belongings were thrown away. I wish I was there with you to help you through this. ((((HUGS))))

I can only imagine how you felt that day. Your old enough to know that the bed did need to be thrown out. Not only for memories but whatever else occured after his passing. Why can't you take alot of things home with you and store them. I can only imagine how hard it would be....almost like...ok he's gone so let's move on. You definitly have to deal with your grief in your own time and don't let anyone push you do get over it or make you feel like you have to forget. Don't get down on yourself for not talking to him either. A phone does ring both ways and even if he was too sick to call or something was up....he would not want you to feel so sad. You can tell you loved him dearly and your very sweet. He's only gone in his physical body...he is still around you if you listen. He can come in dreams, he can come in whispers. I am also sorry for your loss. Try and stay strong as you can. We are here for you. You can also let your family know that your not trying to be rude but you need some time alone without phone calls to let this sink in....It's ok if you do that. We'll be thinking of you.

:angel: Just the fact that you wrote something about your Daddy shows the Love you have in your heart for him, which is something you got from him.

There will be good and sad days thinking about him, but remember the Love he left you and share it with others.

God Bless You.

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Losing a parent is truly one of the most difficult things you have to encounter in your life. I was 18 when my dad passed away four years ago (Dec. 11, 2000) and my life has not been the same since. Please just try to stay as close to your family as possible, talk to your mom, siblings, etc. if you are feeling especially sad. In my case, it has taken me several years to come to terms with my father dying. I chose the wrong way to deal with my grief, please don't let this happen to you. Instead of turning to God for comfort, I blamed him for taking my father away--I did things I never thought I would do in my lifetime, things I am ashamed of now. Just very recently, I was fortunate enough to find a loving church with a very compassionate pastor who talked me through a lot of the anger and depression I was feeling to rededicate my life to God. I can't tell you how much lighter I feel since that happened. Anyway, I wish you the best in everything and my prayers are with you through what will be a difficult holiday. Always remember like someone said earlier, your dad will always be with you, you'll always be his little girl, nothing will ever change that:) God Bless You!!

:angel: I feel for you....I lost my mom 5 years unexpectedly and now my dad had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Time does heal the broken heart. You will never forget the person and still have those bad days but pain in your heart eases.

I just want to say that Im thinking and praying for all of you who have shared your losses on here.

Tmarie i can't imagine what you must be going through it must be hard enough losing one parent but to see another one so ill must be horrible. If you want to talk I want to help, we are all here to support each other.

I am in a bit of a different situation to all of you as i have not yet lost my dad but he is terminally ill with secondary liver cancer which is also in his lymphnodes. I know my Dad isn't going to make it and even though i don't know exactly how long my Dad has got but he will be taken from us before this Christmas. I want to prepare myself for what it will be like and wondered if you could help me.

Something that really made me feel i could associate with deepinsidemy<3 was that you are young like me. I am only 16 so losing a parent at this age is really really hard to think about and come to terms with. All i can think of is the stuff that i want to see me go through.

Hope you are all ok, love and prayers

I just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts, i am sorry for what you had to go through. Kepp hold of the memories and you will treasure them forever, keep him forever in your heart and the memories will flow on too. Love to you and your family. Love sammie p xxx

Spag and others,

No matter how much you try to prepare yourself for the loss of a parent, when the time comes you discover you were not really prepared. I lost both my parents almost 2 years ago, 4 weeks apart. I stayed at the hospital with each of them the whole time, total of about 2 months and thought I was prepared, I was not. I am a senior adult and it was still very, very hard when the time came. My parents were 93 and 98 years old.

Trust God and pray for his strength to sustain you during this time.

I'm not sure if any of you are still following this thread or not. I found it quite by accident after googling about missing my dad. I just read a sad poem that made me think of him....sometimes, when I'm feeling this way, I will read poems and other things, though they may be sad, and try to find a bit of comfort....like imagining he's here with me wrapping me up in one of his big bear hugs telling me it's ok when I'm crying.

Dad died 3 years ago April 4. It was cancer. He went into the hospital early March of the same year, and never got out. He had a sore leg...he was on blood thinners because the doctors thought it was a blood clot...and they wanted to do a catscan to see if they could find the place that the clot was originating from. Earlier than scheduled, his catscan was completed...it was after my brother took him to Emergency because his breathing was so labored Mom thought he'd have a heart attack. (I guess the breathing problems were related to the excruiating pain he was experiencing). The catscan was performed, and it was determined that the clot had formed because of a large tumor the size of a baseball hidden behind his bladder wall that was pinching on a nerve.

It was too late. The cancer had metastisized by that point...there was a spread of the cancer attaching to his hip and spine, and there was a small spot on his liver. He was given 6 months to live with the anticipation of attempting chemotherapy to try to shrink the tumor/aid in the pain. He received one dose of chemotherapy and radiation...and he died shortly after that, when his kidneys shut down.

I was in denial. I didn't believe that my daddy would be taken away. My big strong daddy...my hero...he wouldn't die....

I regret not saying "I love you" one last time. I regret not stealing one last kiss and hug....

The last few days were the hardest. He was in and out of consciousness from the morphine...and was pretty much inaudible at times. The last time I saw him conscious he was trying to communicate with me....I didn't understand him...the sores in his mouth caused from the chemo prevented his words from coming out...they were merely moans...but that day I did clearly hear him say "Good bye" as tears came to his eyes and he grabbed me for that last hug. He died 2 days later.

My dad was 65.

Not one day goes by that I don't think of him. I know he's here...he's always with me. Nothing really has eased the pain of losing him. I don't want to stop feeling the pain because I don't want to forget about him. I don't think there's ever a way to truly get over the loss of a parent. I just wanted to tell those who've posted here that I understand.



:angel: