I've been taking a psychology course this semester, and I learned something very interesting in it. Numerous studies have shown that, contrary to popular opinion, Americans and Western Europeans essentially agree on what is considered attractive and what is not. Some people are really, objectively beautiful, some people are just really, objectively ugly. Not fair, but a fact. I always knew this in my heart, but I didn't know there was actual scientific evidence to support it. This is just one more confirmation of my growing belief that everything I was told when I was young was utter and complete garbage. There's no "special someone" out there who will think you're good looking, despite the fact that no one else does. Now the question is, how does a person such as myself deal with and accept the fact that they are objectively unattractive?

Wrong, wrong, wrong! You sound like a smart person...research??? Throw that crap away and listen to this:

New to town, out of college, first job. 40ish engineer, nice guy, took me to dinner with his wife and we became fast friends. This is the kind of guy you'd call for bail! Ken was not known around work as a good looking fellow. In fact, he was also a horrible dresser and his ID badge from 17 years prior showed him in the same shirt he had on the fist day I met him. His wife was no beauty queen either and they had been nicknamed "That 80's couple". When I tool them to parties, I saw noses turn up...f-u-we would leave.

Best part? They were absolutely crazy about eachother! They were late to my b-day party because they had to "break in " the back seat of their new car. 15 years of mairrage and the wife tells me she can't make a big fancy meal because they are so hot for eachother that they never get to eat! I was like..."Huh? Ken???"

When I broke up with my boyfriend when I fell madly in love with my current hubby (unfortunately, he has depression too) my friends actually told me my ex was better looking and had a better body..blahj, blah, blah..guess what? Not my friends anymore!

have a little faith!

I have to agree that we all essentially know what is "beautiful" and what is not. I think that its not really that everyone sees it differently but everyone has their own weighting to what is important in that special someone and thats what makes one person's junk another person's treasure. Everyone has beauty inside and out, I think its just the different combinations of it all that make us unique and make that special person actually special.

As the old saying goes, "Pretty is, as pretty does."

It's what is in the heart that makes one beautiful.

I believe you start seeing people differently depending on what they do or how they act. You might see someone who you think is ugly, but if that person is really nice and spends time with you, their inner beauty will cover their physical problems. I do believe that different people find beauty in different types of people. My friends say "omg dude, that chick is hot", but I find her extremely ugly, and go for the one sitting next to her. And I always see couples walking around where one of the spouses is ugly (to me, of course.)

The thing is that with society today.. physical appearance is worth too much. It shouldn't be. I do agree with what I said above about inner beauty, but a lot of people would be embarrased of going out or talking to someone who they like, because their friends might find them ugly. Or they would just see a person, say that person is ugly and not talk to him/her or ignore them just based on physical looks, and not see how beautiful the person is inside.

I disagree. Social standards of beauty shift over time. And everyone has their own personal preferences. We aren't all attracted to the same people.

By the way, we are too blindly trusting of research. Research methods are in many ways subjective or sometimes even flawed. I don't put too much weight on the studies you're talking about, especially because they seem to contradict real-life experience.

Ok-they may be hot. Head turners. Supermodel wan-a-bees, etc. What are you going to do the rest of the 23 hours and 57 minutes out of the day? ;)

First of all, take that research with a grain of salt. Sure, there's some truth in it. All men may gawk at J-Lo, but do all men marry J-Lo? NO. All women may watch George Clooney walk by, but would they hook up with him? Not all of them.

People hook up with people who are like them, look like them, act like them, think like them - people they're comfortable with!! Youth is the time when everybody gawks at the super-beauties. Maturity is when you realize you can't have that person and may not even want him/her. Time to get realistic and find inner beauty.

P.S. I could swear they do those studies with the express purpose of making people feel terrible about themselves. "Studies show: men prefer blondes with long legs, big eyes and small noses" or "Tall men marry more often than short men". DuhhhHH!!! I'd rather see "Extensive studies have found inexpensive cure for cancer, available at your local supermarket" or "Huge pharmaceutical company under investigation for overspending on marketing for new drug".

In high school it's always the "pretty" girls that get picked for prom or homecoming queen. but being "pretty" only takes you so far. I am not what many would call a knock out but I'm not exactly butt ugly either and I have had many friends in the "popular"crowd as well as the "geek" crowd so i know what goes on in everyones heads. It may seem that being beautiful is the only way to find "that special someone" (who I personally don't believe in either) but if a man only wants you for your body, then there cannot be any sort of chemical relasionship there. You can't love a person for their body and be truly happy. I for one have never been in love, it's hard to find love at such a young age, but i have seen marrages come and go and relationships break apart because one of them only loved the other for their outer aperience. If you are to live with some one untiul death do you part, how can you if all you love is going to turn ugly and wrinkly in a matter of say 30 years? It just doesn't seem like the ideal relationship does it?
~ alittledeserted
p.s. good luck with your theory, i think you are some what wrong though.