My husband has suffered from what I beleived was moderate depression. After our second child was born (and here comes x-mas!) he has hit rock bottom. In bed by 8:30, can't get up in the am. leaves work early, short tempered, new anger that has never been there, distraction and a few others.

My heart is breaking. I want to help, but it is hard to love him and support him when he seems to almost hate me! Actually, it's almost worse...he seems to not even notice my exsistance at times and of course when he does, his problems are all my fault.

He needs me, nothing has even put a smile on his face...special packed lunches, personalized phontos at the gym, fancy football books left on his car seat, and I can hardly beleive it, but surprise hanky panky barely gets both eyelids open.

If I were your wife and you were coming into this holiday blue time...what would you want me to do just to put a smile-no matter how slight-on your face?

He won't open up yet...slowly being honest with the issue...but I'd like to let him know I'm here. I'd love to hear his great laugh-the real one, not that forced one-and see the heart-stopping smile!

Any suggestions would be so appreciated.

I'd start by telling him exactly what you told us here. He may not want to hear it at first, but it may be a wake up call that he needs to get help.

I have depression, and after the birth of my daughter it got worse. I was in a bad mood nearly every day. I would pick fights with my husband, it was almost like I was unconsiously looking for things to get angry about. One day he came home to me in my usual nasty mood, and we argued. He confessed to me that he worried if I would be in this mood everyday on his way home. He said that I was no longer fun to live with. That was really a wake up call for me. I used to worry everyday if my dad would be in a bad mood. I did not want to be like that, but I was without realizing it. This wake up call helped me realize that I needed help. Now I'm on antidepressants and am in counseling.

how are things? I tell you, after some reading up, i almost feel releived to know that yes, he is once again giving me the blank stare, but yes, we can work on it.

i hope i'm strong enough