I can't believe how anti-social I've been feeling the last couple of months. What a rotten time of year to feel this way! I don't know if it's due to low energy or irritability, probably both. Then there's the guilt over feeling anti-social during the holidays. UGH!! I just want to be my normal self again!

Sigh... thanks for the mini-rant.

And I really do hope everyone has a happy holiday, despite my mood. :)

Laura

:bouncing: Give it time. I got extremely crabby while going through perimenopause. If you really want to be social again it will come with time. Yes it's a bad time to be going through it on the holidays but :nono: angonizing over it will just make it worse. You may be completely different next year but it will be your choice.

Hi Laura,
With me, I'm a dud. I'm not interested in dressing up and attending big fancy holiday parties, weddings, etc. Maybe it's laziness but I find I do prefer one-on-one or small casual social ratherings only. I also think we change as we get older. We are more set in our ways and know what we like/don't like. I also don't trust a lot of people these days. I have been disappointed and betrayed by couple of "insecured" women "friends." They tend to call me only when they want something but never there for me - so this causes me to back away. Or, they get mad at me for some stupid reason b/c they can't manipulate me into doing what they want me to (this incls. me not wanting to loan them money!! - can you believe that??!). I became "anti-social" years ago - probably in my mid-40's - I have to admit, I choose to - I find much more joy having just a few friends, being by myself and being around my dog.

So, despite your mood....don't beat yourself if you aren't jolly and dancing around and being the big social butterfly!...just enjoy your time off from work, eat and be happy!

molly

Molly,

"I also don't trust a lot of people these days. I have been disappointed and betrayed by couple of "insecured" women "friends." They tend to call me only when they want something but never there for me - so this causes me to back away. Or, they get mad at me for some stupid reason b/c they can't manipulate me into doing what they want me to (this incls. me not wanting to loan them money!! - can you believe that??!)."

What you said really rung a bell with me. This is what I've been experiencing.... with family members mostly and it's mostly about money too. OMG. I wanted to blame it on peri, but I'm seriously thinking it's just me getting tired of it. Since my dad died two years ago and left me an inheritance, it's gotten a lot worse. I can imagine what a lottery winner goes thru. I really should get a dog. I guess it's true what they say about this time of life putting us in a position to measure up a lot of things and reevaluating. Thanks for your reply. Now I don't feel so much like I'm being paranoid. I either need a good book or a counselor to help me set things straight in my mind about dealing with what I call the opportunistic people in my life, even if they are family. Thank you for sharing, wow! It really does make you feel not so good when you realize what's going on.

Laura

I have been very antisocial also. Usually I am very tired when I get home from work and do not even answer the phone because I need to lie down for a while or cannot function the rest of the evening. I am very, very selective about who I spend time with. It has to be quality time with pleasant company.

Hi Laura,
I am so sorry for your loss. I know what it is like to lose your dad. Mine passed away 4 years ago and I think about him everyday. When a family member passes away, it often brings the family either closer or it pulls them apart. Unfortunately, for some reason, money does things to people - not only family members but friends too. Until a person experiences bad health, one will never realize how insignificant everything else can be. Hopefully, one day those people you are having problems with will realize how money and material things are just not important. They really should be ashame of themselves! Yes, I agree it doesn't feel good to know how people can be sometimes...be thankful that you recognize what's going on and you're not like that!! Try to not let it get to you b/c it isn't going to help you to get anxiety and stress during menopause either. Don't feel guilty, you don't owe anyone anything and it's OK if you don't want to be controlled by others!

Yes, you should get a dog. They are wonderful and do wonders to your life!! If anything, it gets you out, people approach you much more easily to stir up a conversation and, of course, they have that true unconditional love and that's when you realize how crappy people can be sometimes.

Hang in there....

Molly,

What you said really rung a bell with me. This is what I've been experiencing.... with family members mostly and it's mostly about money too. OMG. I wanted to blame it on peri, but I'm seriously thinking it's just me getting tired of it. Since my dad died two years ago and left me an inheritance, it's gotten a lot worse. I can imagine what a lottery winner goes thru. I really should get a dog. I guess it's true what they say about this time of life putting us in a position to measure up a lot of things and reevaluating. Thanks for your reply. Now I don't feel so much like I'm being paranoid. I either need a good book or a counselor to help me set things straight in my mind about dealing with what I call the opportunistic people in my life, even if they are family. Thank you for sharing, wow! It really does make you feel not so good when you realize what's going on.

Laura

The antisocial thing must be very common, because one of my best friends says she doesn't want to talk to anyone after work, and I can hardly stand it anymore when I hear the phone ring at night. I used to love talking after work and now that I'm 50, I almost wish we didn't even have a phone! Hopefully this will all get better soon, or I probably won't have any friends eventually! Dmhr

I just turned 50 and I have noticed this anti-social thing for awhile now. I am really busy working full time for a law firm and raising a teenager by myself, but I do notice that I would much rather spend time alone than in a large crowd, chit chatting about nothing! Good friends are really hard to find and so are good men!

Sometimes I feel that this is not normal for me to like being alone so much though. But, honestly, I would rather be alone than dating some man just to be dating!