rush-rulz
12-29-2004, 12:36 PM
I decided a couple months ago that I'd finally go see someone professionally. It was getting so close to the holidays, so I figured I could label it a resolution for fun. :) I've never really had one before.
There are a couple concerns here, I guess. One is finding someone. Does it matter what professional one goes to (short of psychiatrists for meds)?
I searched my insurance company's directory and have a healthy list. I called my doctor, and the secretary pimped a psychologist that's supposed to be really good, and the staff at my doctor's office even go to her. But she's not on my insurance. (On my plan, by the way, I pay a $25 copay in-network and 40% of the total out-of-network.) The secretary said that if I gave them my list, the doctor could pick one, which gives me an image of her closing her eyes and bringing her finger down on the page. It really ticks me off when they talk about picking off a list like that. If they really know people in the area (and I live and work in the area where her office is), shouldn't they be able to reel off names and then have me check it against insurance? But OK, I'm off-topic.
I've poked around on the net some, too, and basically have a few names--one's the psych they recommended, and the other two are counselors.
Anyway, I'm on a PPO and used to doing my own "legwork" (defined as googling in my case). Of course, with doctors, it's easier. You want a dermatologist in the area, preferably female? No worries. It doesn't even matter if you don't think she's hot stuff. She just needs to look at the rash and give you ointment. Badda-bing, badda-boom, as they say. However, I know I can't know who's a good pick for mental stuff because I'd have to talk to them first. It's just pissy is all.
OK, enough about that stuff. My other concerns are really just about me and what I want.
Is it appropriate to go see someone when you mainly (at least for now) just want to understand the issues, not fix them? Is there any point to this?
I rather enjoy being a victim. I'd love to walk out of there with some big Latin words to prove how screwy I am. But it's not just to feel special or something. It's also feeling like there should be balance--if I've been troubled my whole life and have never sorted it out myself, I don't want to be told it's just some simple thing or another. Because then I'll just feel like an ***.
And yeah, this is all about my inability to take action on problems. The same will hold true for who I end up seeing. I'll end up saying everything's fine when it's not. I'll put up with it. And afterwards, I'll probably try and declare that therapy doesn't work, even though it's only because I couldn't speak up or leave. Or I'll do it because I don't have the balls to change.
All of this implies I'm not ready for help. But these things pervade various areas of my life and have always been problematic. It's sort of like needing therapy to help you seek therapy or something (well, and there are the other issues, too).
I don't know where I was going with this. I guess I'm just feeling confused. And kind of scared of actually going through with this. And stuff. It took me a while just to get the courage to call for that referral.
There are a couple concerns here, I guess. One is finding someone. Does it matter what professional one goes to (short of psychiatrists for meds)?
I searched my insurance company's directory and have a healthy list. I called my doctor, and the secretary pimped a psychologist that's supposed to be really good, and the staff at my doctor's office even go to her. But she's not on my insurance. (On my plan, by the way, I pay a $25 copay in-network and 40% of the total out-of-network.) The secretary said that if I gave them my list, the doctor could pick one, which gives me an image of her closing her eyes and bringing her finger down on the page. It really ticks me off when they talk about picking off a list like that. If they really know people in the area (and I live and work in the area where her office is), shouldn't they be able to reel off names and then have me check it against insurance? But OK, I'm off-topic.
I've poked around on the net some, too, and basically have a few names--one's the psych they recommended, and the other two are counselors.
Anyway, I'm on a PPO and used to doing my own "legwork" (defined as googling in my case). Of course, with doctors, it's easier. You want a dermatologist in the area, preferably female? No worries. It doesn't even matter if you don't think she's hot stuff. She just needs to look at the rash and give you ointment. Badda-bing, badda-boom, as they say. However, I know I can't know who's a good pick for mental stuff because I'd have to talk to them first. It's just pissy is all.
OK, enough about that stuff. My other concerns are really just about me and what I want.
Is it appropriate to go see someone when you mainly (at least for now) just want to understand the issues, not fix them? Is there any point to this?
I rather enjoy being a victim. I'd love to walk out of there with some big Latin words to prove how screwy I am. But it's not just to feel special or something. It's also feeling like there should be balance--if I've been troubled my whole life and have never sorted it out myself, I don't want to be told it's just some simple thing or another. Because then I'll just feel like an ***.
And yeah, this is all about my inability to take action on problems. The same will hold true for who I end up seeing. I'll end up saying everything's fine when it's not. I'll put up with it. And afterwards, I'll probably try and declare that therapy doesn't work, even though it's only because I couldn't speak up or leave. Or I'll do it because I don't have the balls to change.
All of this implies I'm not ready for help. But these things pervade various areas of my life and have always been problematic. It's sort of like needing therapy to help you seek therapy or something (well, and there are the other issues, too).
I don't know where I was going with this. I guess I'm just feeling confused. And kind of scared of actually going through with this. And stuff. It took me a while just to get the courage to call for that referral.
Sponsor
Mecpcpj
12-29-2004, 10:40 PM
Well, you're on the first step to improvement! It's great that you can actually realize that you need help. There's people out there who are alcoholics or drug users for decades and can't realize they have a problem even when it's pointed out to them. Then there's people in denial about their mental state and think others are just accusing them of having a problem. So, in conclusion, congrats on coming to a realization that you need help and going so far as to seek help.
It's unfortunate that the psychologist recommended to you was not on your insurance plan. Unless you want to dish out a lot of money, you should probably choose someone else. Try looking up their credentials, where they went to school and when, if they've published anything, what their specialty area is, how old they are. There are advantages in age and disadvantages. The older psychologists have practiced a while and are used to seeing patients and treating them but sometimes they are stuck on a routine or certain diagnosis. The younger psychologists are fresh out of school and have the newest and latest techniques to offer you and you may even be able to get appointments sooner because they have fewer patients. Just make sure you get someone who will make you comfortable. For instance, would you feel awkward sitting there with a female in a room alone? Or vice versa.
Personally, I think a psychologist or counselor would suit your needs. The great thing about going to one of them is that they don't just prescribe you medication and say that's that with the situation. They actually work to help you out without drugs so you are really progressing. They even teach you techniques to do at home to help your situation and they try to teach you ways to think.
Your case is no less important than another persons. Every client that these professionals see is important and has their own individual needs. Besides, you may find out what you think is not serious really is. Don't go in thinking your less important to the psychologist/counselor, go in thinking you want to be helped and you deserve to be. Good luck!
It's unfortunate that the psychologist recommended to you was not on your insurance plan. Unless you want to dish out a lot of money, you should probably choose someone else. Try looking up their credentials, where they went to school and when, if they've published anything, what their specialty area is, how old they are. There are advantages in age and disadvantages. The older psychologists have practiced a while and are used to seeing patients and treating them but sometimes they are stuck on a routine or certain diagnosis. The younger psychologists are fresh out of school and have the newest and latest techniques to offer you and you may even be able to get appointments sooner because they have fewer patients. Just make sure you get someone who will make you comfortable. For instance, would you feel awkward sitting there with a female in a room alone? Or vice versa.
Personally, I think a psychologist or counselor would suit your needs. The great thing about going to one of them is that they don't just prescribe you medication and say that's that with the situation. They actually work to help you out without drugs so you are really progressing. They even teach you techniques to do at home to help your situation and they try to teach you ways to think.
Your case is no less important than another persons. Every client that these professionals see is important and has their own individual needs. Besides, you may find out what you think is not serious really is. Don't go in thinking your less important to the psychologist/counselor, go in thinking you want to be helped and you deserve to be. Good luck!
morningtheft
12-31-2004, 01:06 PM
Wow that sounds like a lot of hassle, well done for setting your mind to it though! I live in England so I don't really know about the whole insurance thing (just get treatment from the NHS, I could never afford to go private and to be honest I wouldn't really understand it anyway :o ) anyway. I keep meaning to just get myself to a doctor in the first place but 1) I feel too embarrassed in case there's nothing wrong (silly huh? I should be relieved really!) and 2) I'm worried that if there is something wrong then it'll change things too much, and shock horror my family will know! Anyway sorry...back to you ;) good luck with everything! x
mudhound
12-31-2004, 11:34 PM
good luck with the insurance issue. By the way, you have take the 1st step to recovery. CO_GRATS
*music23*
01-01-2005, 01:22 PM
That sounds like an AWESOME resolution!! A lot of people do the self-improvement thing, but THIS is sure great!! Congratulations and good job!
Kristina :wave:
Kristina :wave:
kerry1
01-01-2005, 07:22 PM
I'd be more concerned with other people's evaluations of the professional. Do you know anyone who's been to a therapist and did they like them?? Your first visit with a therapist, do YOU like him/her? Feel comfortable? -ish? I've been very lucky in that area - had great docs, but I've heard horror stories. You don't want just anyone toying with your psyche. And as far as feeling "special" goes, you're supposed to feel special - that's what's known as "self-esteem" and it's a very valuable tool for survival in this world. And the therapist should treat you like you're special too - focus ALL his/her attention on you, at least for that hour.
*music23*
01-02-2005, 04:04 PM
Oh, I have had both extremes. I have had the absolute best in the field, and I have had absolute SCUM. I agree that you should like the therapist, otherwise the New Year's Resolution could severely backfire. Good point kerry. Still, a good resolution assuming that is kept in mind!
Kristina :wave:
Kristina :wave:
rush-rulz
01-13-2005, 04:52 PM
So far, this whole thing has been a huge pain in the butt. I have this long list of people from my insurance, and I can find a few online and know certain ones are connected with particular things, but it still leaves a hefty portion remaining. I asked my doctor, as I said, and she suggested this woman who's not on my insurance. So I faxed her a list of who is on my insurance for her to pick someone, and the secretary called back to say, "She's heard of So-and-so." That's not a referral. Actually, referrals are bunk anyway because they always refer you to their personal friends. But she's "heard of" someone? Lovely.
Having nothing else to go on, I called that place. Turns out the woman doesn't seem to have her own number or secretary. The receptionist for the whole place says the woman's out but she'll give her my name and number, and she'll call back tomorrow. She told me this last Thursday. It's now Thursday again, and nothing. Of course, do I really want to see someone who's got some pretty unreliable means of contact anyway? Sounds like it'll just continue to be a pain.
So I pick another name--part of a mental health center, real nearby, sounds fine. I get through to them (after they were gone for lunch for an hour and then having to go through those menus on the phone), and it comes to pass that while her name may be on my insurance list, she's not taking my insurance.
Sigh. I guess I'm new to this game. With doctors, you just call them and make an appointment, the end. No big hassle. But this is a pain in the butt, that's what this is. It's starting to be not so much about finding the "right" person as just anyone who's a) there and b) will take me. Much as in life, come to think of it. :D
Having nothing else to go on, I called that place. Turns out the woman doesn't seem to have her own number or secretary. The receptionist for the whole place says the woman's out but she'll give her my name and number, and she'll call back tomorrow. She told me this last Thursday. It's now Thursday again, and nothing. Of course, do I really want to see someone who's got some pretty unreliable means of contact anyway? Sounds like it'll just continue to be a pain.
So I pick another name--part of a mental health center, real nearby, sounds fine. I get through to them (after they were gone for lunch for an hour and then having to go through those menus on the phone), and it comes to pass that while her name may be on my insurance list, she's not taking my insurance.
Sigh. I guess I'm new to this game. With doctors, you just call them and make an appointment, the end. No big hassle. But this is a pain in the butt, that's what this is. It's starting to be not so much about finding the "right" person as just anyone who's a) there and b) will take me. Much as in life, come to think of it. :D