Right now I feel so depressed and disgusted by this disease I have that it pervades every aspect of my life and prevents me from being the person I want to be. If i can't get rid of it or at least alleviate it, i'm gonna feel only half-alive for the rest of my life. I'm at the breaking point...


Ok, I have this really strange disorder where I basically get hypertension in my upper throat/back of tongue (globus hystericus). What happens is this area gets all tightened up and uncomfortable. The pain dominates my consciousness, and I am unable to function normally as a human being.

(I.) Here is an overall description of the symptoms, with the most important symptoms marked by star chains of designating magnitude (*):
- Sore tongue (esp. the back of it)**
- Sore jaw *
- Oral discomfort (There seems to be no natural, relaxing position that my lips, teeth, and tongue automatically lock into place. I am constantly aware of their positions when this disease is severe and I can't relax the tension in them) ****
- Dry lips *
- Aching teeth *
- Sore eyes *
- Poor facial complexion **
- Hypersalivation (overproduction of saliva) ****
- Globus Hystericus *****
- Foamy, bubbly, sticky saliva (as opposed to normal runny, consistent drool) ****
- Difficulty swallowing (although there is plenty of juice available, it's hard to get it down naturally. I take a long time to eat meals) ***
- Fatigue and languishness ***
- Insomnia (It's impossible to get to sleep when the symptoms of my disease are severe, but after a large snack i feel very tired and can fall to sleep easily) **
- Trouble talking (My voice has a sort of saturated, liquidy quality instead of a vibrant, resonating, smooth substance. Talking releases extra saliva and makes me have to swallow, increasing discomfort.) ****
- Chest pain (feels like my skin on my chest over the top/center of my left lung is stretched very tight across the bones of my ribcage, a sort of tearing sensation. It's bad when i eat only a little for a sequence of a few days instead of my normal big meals. If i sit still for awhile the tearing pain settles out and almost disappears, but when i make sudden movements it flares up) ***
- clumsiness, throat discomfort, awkwardness ****
- lack of appetite and abnormal signals from my stomach (I hardly ever feel hungry, but i can almost always eat a meal. I use the severity of my oral discomfort to calibrate when I need to eat and when I am ok. My stomach hardly ever rumbles, and when it does, i usually feel relaxed and it feels almost good).
- [others that don't come to mind immediately]





(II.)Now I am going to list what aggrivates my condition and what gives me relief. I'll order them from top to bottom to show the magnitude of aggrivation/relief:

LIST I: AGGRIVATORS
TOP: LEAST POTENT/LEAST AGGRIVATING
- standing in a shower
- gradual accumulation of tension over the course of the day
- heavy, grating, exaggerated
- talking
- drinking water (esp. cold water) (esp. sipping [as opposed to chugging])
- social situations, being in crowded places with bright lights, or giving a speech (although sometimes at the podium i can get very relaxed)
- eating a small snack (a cereal bar) and not eating anything else for awhile
- drinking orange juice
- chewing gum
BOTTOM: MOST POTENT/MOST AGGRIVATING



LIST II: RELIEVERS
TOP: LEAST POTENT/LEAST RELIEF
- listening to music (atmospheric)
- sitting in a supportive recliner or lying on a hard surface so my back is supported well
- lying down flat on such a surface/ meditative relaxation
- chewing gum (sometimes it gives me a dynamic equilibrium position for my mouth, teeth, and tongue, while other times it just makes that knot on my throat clench up intensely. It has more of the negative effect at the beginning when the juices are still in the gum, and more of the positive effect afterwards. However, sometimes the negative effect stays and keeps incrementing itself over time, forcing me to spit out my gum. Gum provides more of a postive effect when i have a waste basket near to spit saliva into periodically.)
- listening to music (with headphones)
- sauna/ hot bath
- absorbing activities (video games, sports, drawing, etc.) that take up my concentration so that I can't think about my symptoms. Then when i take breaks during these activities, I notice a decline in my symptoms
- eating process (chewing and swallowing bites of dry foods)
- eating large meals/snacks (esp. those consiting of dry foods like popcorn)
- sleep (i feel like a god when i wake up from a good sleep and am still groggy, although this sensation deteriorates with rapidity)
- drinking beer/ mild intoxication (almost complete relief, although chewing gum while intoxicated still creates minor tension)
BOTTOM: MOST POTENT/MOST RELIEF




(III.) Ok, now i will create a sort of timeline to show the progression of this disease. In junior high, grades 7-8, I experiended somewhat intense heartburn
after eating chili about 3 times, even though I can eat chili now without much of a problem. Then during these years I had about 2 or 3 of these really wierd episodes where I would do the following: I would wake up in the middle of the night with a searing pain in my chest. Then i would crawl on all fours, an inch at a time, down the stairs and to the fridge. Then i would pour myself a few glasses of milk and eat about a half box of dry cereal. Then i would feel ok again. But the pain was so bad initially I thought I was going to die. Once i sat on the stairs crying, unable to move because the pain would flare up once again. Then I pulled myself together and got to the fridge. I didn't think much of these episodes back in the day and so i never told anyone. I remember these nights i had been kind of hungry before going to bed, but I hadn't eaten anything, if i remember correctly. Now I always eat a large snack of dry foods before bed.
In sophomore year I remember riding the bus home and just drooling all over the floor one day. usually I would swallow all the saliva that welled up in my mouth, but this would greatly accumulate tension. Letting it fall down was less clenching. I sat with my head down and mouth open, and created a sanddollar-sized puddle of saliva on the floor.
Also in sophomore year, i remember the progression of this pain building up over the course of the day. In first period and homeroom, i was only mildly uncomfortable. In second period, the symptoms started to dominate and i felt moderately tense. In third period, i felt like complete **** and just watched the clock in continuous pain. Then at lunchtime i would cram food down and be alright through fifth and sixth periods. Then at seventh and espeically eighth i was again full of tension and pain. The ride home was even worse.
In junior year, i remember doing homework at a desk in my room with a waste basket right beside me. I would spend three hour sessions reading from textbooks or doing homework, and spitting/drooling into the waste basket every five minutes or so with a mouth full of saliva. It was so distressing and uncomfortable that i was very inefficient, and i took frequent breaks to play video games and just try to chill out from the tension.
Now i have this under control some of the time. I don't eat breakfast, and that actually helps me to relax although i do feel faint. If i eat massive meals, i at least feel euphoric for part of the day. I snack on goldfish, teddy grams, etc. like a madman and that helps although it is unhealthy.


Actually right now I am feeling pretty good, so it is hard to be any more precise than that. I'll update this later. The periodic (almost every day at certain times more than others) presence of this disease is like a ball and chain on my ankle, preventing me from doing what i wanna do with my life. It makes clam up instead of being talkative, etc. If anyone can offer some insight, it would be very helpful. I am visiting a doctor next tuesday, but if anyone here can help give me some feedback before i go, it would be much appreciated. Thanks, and have a good one.