Hello Ladies,

I used to post here more often, but I am now post-menopausal and feeling much better (hope for you ladies - peri does pass!!) Of course, with Post-M comes different problems. I'm not sure if I have this worse than others, or if others have it but it's just not being talked about. But I'm coming out of the closet with this because I can't stand it and need some advice. Hope I don't offend, but there's no delicate way to put it. Intercourse has become horribly painful! I totally goo myself up with Replens and KY and I can't say it's really helped much. And of course when it hurts you don't want to do it very much and DH is quite frustrated. He also hates to know he's causing me pain. I never thought this would be this bad - although the libido was low during peri, I could still get into the mood, and sometimes would just force myself to do it, but once I got into things it was fine. But now even when I'm in the mood, it's torture. I've actually shed tears from the pain. Anyone have any suggestions? I know there is an estrogen ring that you can insert so that the hormone is concentrated in the area, but as there is cancer in the family I am just so hesitant to use any type of hormone.

Sorry for being explicit, but there's no polite way to talk about this.

Thanks for any input.

Nornie

Have you asked your GYN for advice? He or she may have many solutions to the problem.

I have no suggestions ...just wanted to say that I'm not offended and no one should be.
This is all a part of life and we all want to be comfortable. Thanks for putting it out there for those who may have help or are having problems.
I agree...talk to your gyn, maybe there is something available...could you have a cyst or polyp of some sort adding to the pain? Post back if you find relief!!

Thank you for the replies. I do have an appointment with my gyn, but it's not until March. Funny thing is, this really got bad after I had a cervical polyp removed. I wonder if it didn't heal right or something? I had a couple of post-op checkups and he never said anything about it not healing right or anything. The polyp never bothered me when it was there, I'm sorry I ever had it removed.

Nornie

Hi Nornie,
I can't be of much help here but do give you credit for bringing up this subject and by all means, I don't think it is offensive at all. That is what we're here for - to talk about all the things that are bugging us. It's pretty common that almost all women will have vaginal dryness. My gyn prescribed me Estrace which is an estrogen cream b/c I bled so easily during a pap. I used the cream couple of times only (I have samples + 6 refills!) - and then my GP said the estrogen still enters the system as HRT and told me not to use it, so I don't. I did read that KY gel was the best. As suggested, maybe your gyn have other solutions....

molly

You're definitely not alone!

Since I've been on lower dosage of hrt I too have had terrible pain with intercourse. I tried ky jelly and that didn't do a thing. Not only does it hurt like hell to have intercourse, but I keep getting vaginal and bladder infections afterwards. This week started using estrogen cream inserted in vagina 3 times a week. Doctor says ky jelly is only to increase moisture, but what's really missing at this "time of life" is mucus. The estrogen is supposed to replace the mucus in that area without spreading the hormone to the rest of the body. A friend of mine was prescribed vaginal estrogen cream by her doctor, who says it's ok for her even though she has a history of heart problems and therefore is not a candidate for hormone pills.

I'm hoping that by this weekend I'll have enough replacement mucus to share loving time with my hubby again. It hurts to think about the pain. But there's gotta be SOME solution. :angel:

Hello, Nornie I am new to this message board thing but not new to the painful intercourse thing. I went to my obgyn and she ran test and I later found out I had to get a hysterectomy because I had endometriosis really bad I would literally avoid sex because I did not want to experience any pain. I would suggest you make up a list of everything that has been going on including the times you have had intercourse and I'm sure that would be helpful for you and your doctor and never be afraid to disagree if something does not sit right with you take care and keep your spirits up it can be fixed.

nornie, i think i share some of the discomfort you speak about as well. i had a tape sling that holds the bladder up. it bothered me so much a urologist took it out which is in the vaginal area. although it should be healed, it is still bothersome during intimate times. if it is aggravated too much then i am torn up for days, even affects the fact that it feels like i have to go to the bathroom and i know i don't.

you sure want to avoid intercourse as often as possible. we don't understand all these changes in our lives and i'm sure our husbands are wondering about us, but any post i have read the husbands are very understanding. mine sure is.

As we know, the lining of the vag becomes thinner once the big M hits you, and having sex feels like he's wearing a sandpaper condom. Lubricants help a little but the lack of estrogen is the real problem. I refused HRT, but I did get a prescription for a Vagifem, which is a estradiol vaginal tablet that I use twice a week (when I remember :D ) along with KY Warming Liquid, if needed. It helps quite a bit.

I just had a pap, and it was negative, but it hurt like hell. Sorry, there is just no way to describe it, and yes, sex is no fun. Pain just isn't enjoyable. I did saliva testing, and am low on some Estrogens, high on testosterone, and OUT of progesterone. SO, I'm going to try the bioidentical hormones. This vaginal pain is madness, sigh. I also have horrible bone loss, and can't tolerate fosamax. Just wanted you to know that you aren't alone in your vaginal pain, and as you can see by my negative pap, it doesn't always mean that something is "wrong" (like cancer, etc) in there.

Your symptoms sound like vaginal dryness which is very common after menopause or surgical menopause. It is caused by a lack of estrogen. I had a hysterectomy in July of 2003 and having been using Premarin Vaginal Cream three or four times a week for about the last year. It helped enormously! You can get vaginal atrophy if you don't take of the dryness. I would ask my doctor what he/she thinks it is worth having enjoyable sex again.
Blessings,
Kathy

I had trouble too and my gyn diagnosed vastibulitus (sp). He sent me to a specialist downtown Chicago. Dr. Gaston told me it is very unusual for a general gyn to diagnose that so easily. He said it had something to do with nerve endings. It felt like he was poking me with a needle and then he showed me he only had a cotton swab in his hand and gently touched the vagina. He prescribed an oral med. This was several years ago and I don't remember what it was. Upside is it improved so much I was a bad girl and never went back for a follow up visit. The med ran out and while it isn't completely healed it is so much better I still have not been back to the specialist and I would guess it has been four yeas at least.

Your symptoms sound like vaginal dryness which is very common after menopause or surgical menopause. It is caused by a lack of estrogen. I had a hysterectomy in July of 2003 and having been using Premarin Vaginal Cream three or four times a week for about the last year. It helped enormously! You can get vaginal atrophy if you don't take of the dryness. I would ask my doctor what he/she thinks it is worth having enjoyable sex again.
Blessings,
Kathy

Hi Kathy, my doc agrees with you apparently cause he is going to put me on some bioidentical hormones with an "Estriol" vaginal cream to help with this. No one should have to put up with painful sex. UGH!

Hello,

I just wanted to thank everyone for their frank replies on this topic. Not sure what I'm going to do yet, sounds like hormone therapy is the only thing that really helps but I'm still very unsure about that. At least I know I'm not alone, I have a fairly low pain threshold and was wondering if maybe it was just me being wimpy. I also printed out some responses and gave them to my husband as he really doesn't understand this and thinks my problem is I just don't want to be with him. I think he feels a bit better now too.

Thanks again ladies.

Nornie

Here's what happened to me... menopause at 51, took HRT a while, then when it became so controversial, got off HRT. Basically took me 6 months to slowly go out of my mind and get back on it! The "dry sex" was horrible, and we'd spent over 30 years with a wonderful love life. In my opinion, it minimizes what is really happening to our bodies when the literature says "vaginal dryness," when in fact it is "vaginal atrophy" and the tissue is drying out and thinning to the point of painful intercourse and frequent infections. So for me, it's HRT (smallest amount possible) probably forever!
I wouldn't go through those 6 months without it again for all the tea in China. Nor do I want to go back to flaking skin/dryness over my entire body or dull hair!
It's a personal decision, and for me, continuing a great sex life, looking better, and no bladder infections, are worth the risks.

Hello everyone, I aked this question on another thread but got no replies so hope no-one minds if I hijack this one! I'm also on the vaginal creamfor dryness after getting one infection after another and no sex for months! Has anyone experienced any side effects with this cream? I'm a bit paranoid anyway and my hormonal migraines have been much worse lately. Can't be to do with the cream can it? Can't cope with not using it either. Please advise.